u/Confident-Till8952

Someone gave me a compliment
So I complimented them
And they doubted the compliment I said

So I said a whole joke about how I need to learn to process compliments
Flat out assured them their compliment felt good to hear
And then gave them another compliment

.. instead of just saying
“Nahh its true”

Lol

I want to be honest and genuine and share positive things when I can. Because it rarely ever happens, its a fcked up world.

But, I’m also either playing it totally cool, then worrying they don’t think I care

Or completely over shooting like a bowl of rainbows and crushes.

I’m stupid.

Then 4 weeks later I see the situation more clearly.

I wish I could respond 1 times every four weeks and still have friends.

🙈🙉😆

I actually saw an owl fly tonight. Ahhh how we doin??

I just needed to find some spaces that were more wholesome. Where one could share and discover art.

Outside of algorithms that prioritize instantly stimulating content. And bottom piles something deeper.

I’m human, I look at whats going on, I look at it too, the more popular platforms and posts.

But, it just gets exhausting. And theres this weird intertwine of whos creating the culture? The people or the maximizing engagement data algorithms?

I mean I get banter and even arguments which lead to an understanding of an art piece.

When it becomes too personal, and unnecessary negativity clouds perception, leads to weaponized judgement.. it becomes impossible to partake in sharing - feedback - discussions and even sassy arguments in a way that’s building awareness.

I have health issues too. So if someone makes an interesting counterpoint, and I know I’m too tired to respond, I fear the last word is the new consensus on how to correctly perceive a piece I made.

Social media is like a bulletin board. Its what people are saying. But no one is questioning the commenter, and from what perspective these comments are coming.

Neocities feels slower, more reflective, even reminiscent of 2000s web.

I just need help finding some neocities that would coincide with my literary, artistic, creative idea, interests?

Are there more specific ways to search?
Anyone have any recommendations? Or other sites?

I really like that independent, diy, handmade, internet is happening in a meaningful way.

And sharing art can actually be wholesome and constructive. When to me, it honestly feels pointless. What I make is like a shelter to me. So its like opening my shelter to vandalism, like when people make a fort in the forest, and people find it, it becomes less fun, and they destroy it.

I’ve known about them for a while, but recently I decided to try and listen to every album I can find.

Bear in mind is a crazy album. Its so good. They really nail it, in an interesting way with this one.

Every song has some dynamic range and is like its own banger.

Started doing cashies this week
Fahkin sick

Anyone do any cashies this week?

Yeah its nice eyy

When you stay up too late and you start hearing the morning birds. I don’t know why, but that’s like the most fcked up feeling. Haha

I’ve had this for a while. I know the heart is a muscle and its related to the dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system due to lyme and coinfection.

But it just feels more tired.

Like how all my other muscles feel.

Maybe its just air hunger again.

I’ve thought for a while, that Beethoven’s work sounds so generic. I always liked Debussy and impressionist composers, where the work has so much emotion.

However, I’ve been thinking maybe Beethoven was capturing the movement of nature, and didn’t want to include so much of his emotional baggage.

I tried listening today. It didn’t take. It still sounds so boring and generic.

I’m listening to the Bach Cello Suites. Ahhh its so good. Its like beautiful run on sentences that still have some internal logic, keeping it from going to far, yet theres something there, still expanding it.

Classical is so difficult to get into. With Jazz I can at least pin point an era, a style, a decade. You can track the evolution and development of certain ideas across time. And you can even see the rebellions and counter points. With classical, theres not as much of a conversation.

Bach is probably my favorite classical composer so far.

But, I still want to try Beethoven. And more. Please recommend me some.

I also listened to a bach cello suite record where the playing was a bit stiff. I found a second recording and this musician has great tone and style.

Can you recommend any musicians?

I also see 10 different groups playing the same pieces with different conductors.

Which leads me to this second part..

Whats the relationship with composer and group?

Is the piece in the style intended in the sheet music by the composer..?

Is it an interpretation by the conductor ? Are some conductors too bossy?

Or is it in the style of the musicians? Or do they try to stick as close as possible to the sheet music.. intended by the composer… or also the conductor..

Are there discrepancies here?

What am I listening to?

How can one tell if a group goes for accuracy or style?

Can anyone recommend any groups/conductors?

Does anyone know anything that has pure joy?

Everything I write has, in some way, underlying sadness, loneliness, etc.

I’m almost sick of it haha I know it takes a while to learn one’s own voice. To infuse the work with your emotions. But, I’d like to challenge myself to write joy. Or create joy.

I have written joy, but it’s always with a history of sadness. Its like someone experiencing happiness for once, amongst non-joyful things haha.

I used to think Beethoven sounded so generic. Like hallmark card classical. I like the other composers like Debussy, and other impressionist composers, who put their emotions into the work.

But, now I’m thinking of it differently. Beethoven, perhaps, captured the movement of nature, without bringing all his emotional baggage into it. In other words: you don’t always want to stain the work with your emotions.

I know it takes a lot of work, to be oneself, in art. But, once you’ve done all the excavating, and it becomes so automatic, it kind of gets boring.

Does anyone ever get bored of your own voice? Do you ever want to paint something in a way that’s not you? Do you ever want to create a character that is nothing like you? And make it believable, or make it work at least.

Finding your own voice takes hard work. But, I don’t see many people talk about how once you’re there… it can get boring. How creating outside your voice, can seem enticing.

Or is this just a sign to take a break? To not think about art for a while. Engage in other activities, and let the next wave of creations arise?