u/FancifulCat

Ex- healthcare engineer here worked in hospitals in the UK NHS before I moved to Canada. It's a stable career but I can't bring myself to ever go back to the work environment. This is a vent, I have never met so many toxic people in one place that just completely makes me go into an emotionally overstimulated mental breakdown. I remember crying on the steps after work.

People don't behave professionally, it's a breeding ground for narcissism, especially when trying to communicate with clinical staff. So many obviously unprofessional and distressing behaviors get thrown under the rug and not reported. Boundaries get eroded left right and center. I was expected to train overtime and commute leaving me with working days 12 hours long when I was only paid for 7.

The people I worked with have some god level complex that they passed UK NHS training. They don't care to support fellow staff unless you beg them for help through MS teams. There's just no system in place for support.

I am better now so much, but when I was there, I had SI which was the first time in my life I experienced it.

It takes me weeks to recover from the negative energy the NHS brought into my life so there was no point to vacation.

Maybe someone here relates to the UK NHS system + having ADHD? It's been years since I've been there but it still leaves a sour taste in my mouth wanting justice for how I was professionally treated.

Since this is a recurring concern I've witnessed on this sub for 2 years, I thought it would be a good idea if the healed(ish) folks comment their length of relationship and how long it took them to feel themselves again.

Me: 1 year long relationship, healing: 1 year and 7 months.

I'm not talking new hobbies stuff or extra time for applying retinol to your skincare routine. I'm talking from a psychological standpoint or temporal self-appraisal. Do you recognize the past version of you? Did your sense of self become stronger? Are you able to sit with yourself for absolutely weeks without feeling depressed?

If someone criticizes you for example, are you more non-reactive and not validation seeking? Did you even change careers or do major life shifts?

I feel completely divorced from who I was, I cringe sometimes at it, my confidence and self assurance levels shot up and I can read people like a hawk nowadays. But strangely, I still relate to the little girl I was, whimsical and romantic. Its like I just went full circle back to my early teenage years but with the wisdom of a 50 year old woman.

I genuinely don't think you can make major psychological strides unless you eliminate male centered focus from your life. Externalization of our comfort through unreliable relationships with men means we can't look inwards. Its a dangerous comfort zone.

Not quite full depression or mental health episode, but a slump where you just listlessly end up rearranging stuff in a lab, clean up stuff do routine crap that the lab manager is paid to do. Just staring at the laptop endlessly scrolling the literature with no motivation about your project? Like you have half ideas but you can't bring yourself to make it reality.

I found myself just doing the bare minimum to make my supervisor feel like Im doing something. Then I randomly got the energy one day to push through?

Field: engineering, location: canada

I won't descend into personal attacks but be warned this is a vent. I can with honest truth say that now dating men outside of religion, catholic men were the most controlling, abusive and misogynistic men I've ever dated. The narcissistic traits are off the scale and the pure entitlement to woman's time and energy and unpaid domestic labor is rampant.

They want to benefit from a woman's unpaid household leadership skills but forbid she be a leader in church.

Spoken to catholic women at the time, they agreed they are avoiding catholic men because of the misogyny (why it doesn't ring bells for them to leave this patriarchal religion is ironic but each to their own).

Was reading a few articles about how masses of women are leaving Christianity (whilst men are joining because it's a safe space for misogyny).

Honestly? As an ex-christian I get satisfied when I see churches closing and failing to find people to run them. The logistical, administrative, fundraising operations of many churches rely on women's unpaid labor, another extension to all the waste of unpaid labor women do in marriages. I remember after Sunday mass it was the women responsible for doing all the community cooking and cleaning, even though it was meant to be a "day of rest".

When I was dating as a Christian 7 years ago, I observed many of these conservative christian men are abusive and controlling, failing to see women as individual beings. They can't help but talk at you rather than with you. At the time they were struggling to find matches and were even being outright avoided by christian women. So I imagine their situation is dire now (good riddance).

The decline in attendance stems from the church's lack of accountability to address systematic oppression of christian women and non-compensation of their labor they rely on. I hope this pillar of the patriarchy will continue to fall. It may take a while, but maybe in the next few decades we will see real suffering and accountability from the church as women refuse to participate in misogynistic cults like these.

I'm being asked if I want jawline filler and I said no because I don't want my face going wider and would rather not have excess risks.

Curious if 1 to 2 ml of chin filler actually pushes tissue forward for more jaw definition? Or is this just a myth.

Studies like how men contribute to CPTSD/destruction of women's mental health, how men extract women's labor and cause severe burnout, how men cause UTIs, the fact that more women go into poverty following divorce etc. The funding isn't there, so women have less access to professional validation that the single life is the way to go.

Feel free to share fields that should be investigated within a research realm *I am not a scientist or want to derive from your experiences, just curious for us to share ideas.

It's so funny they have wool over their eyes that women have had enough of them and their bullshit low effort, 5050 and entitlement to sex, bangmaid and breeder to make their kids. They think it's because of their looks failing to realize the broader picture that women will only invite people into her life if they increase the quality of her life. They are trying to fulfill simplified tickboxes of "have job, some savings and go to the gym" thinking that a woman will come rocking their way.

Yeah sorry bro, we are humans, life is more complicated than that and we not NPCs that appear as some prize because you have biceps and a corporate job.

I feel like the more time I spend single, and reflect on how I have been objectified and manipulated by men, the more I get the ick at the majority of the games on the market with how women are pushed to the side narrative. I used to heavily enjoy gaming in my early 20s and I am not ashamed to say my steam library is probably worth thousands. However the older I get and the more I see how deep patriarchal coniditioning is, I started getting irritated at games where:

- The woman is the wife or girlfriend that gets killed off to fuel a man's revenge plot, usually in the prologue.

- Typical nagging wife/girlfriend tropes who is trying to "domesticate/hold back the male hero", or a woman trying to emotionally regulate a man who is committing atrocities.

- Women are visual trophies to be unlocked with skins/microtransactions.

- Women in hyper-sexualized armor.

- Low quality writing where the woman is made physically overpowered rather than actually written with any gripping/strong psychological narrative/backstory.

- Woman as a witch/sage/loreperson/brilliant scientist who is on the sidelines guiding the man as he takes the credit and glory. She probably dies in the process too or loses her power.

- Female member of gang/squad who is purely romantic/sexual/femme fatale interest rather than a fleshed out autonomous character with depth.

I see these tropes and more and I genuinely get the ick and there's few games on the market that don't fall into these stereotypical plots. I hope in the coming years we see more AAA games with well written female leads that don't serve to pander to the male gaze or validation. It would make gaming more enjoyable.

I was reading around how processed food doesn't make you feel full (satiety) as easily, and this is how the major companies make money out of you consuming and buying more.

So I decided to be very picky where I buy my food from now, going hardcore on cutting out any processed sources.

Curious if anyone else has done this and what has been the impact on your weight management and general health?