Has anyone else heard anything concrete about the 5- or 10-game flex packages?

I’ve been waiting on these for a while because I was told they were being worked on, but I recently heard from another rep that they may not happen at all, and that if they do, they might not be available until late September.

That’s pretty frustrating considering we’re already this far into the offseason and some of us have specifically been holding off while waiting for the flex option.

For clarity, I’ve also been told that single-game tickets are still expected to go on sale after Labor Day, so those apparently remain on track and jerseys are set to drop sometime near then as well.

Just curious if anyone else has heard anything different or gotten a more definitive answer from their rep.

“Grow Some Meatballs.”

Let me start by saying Robert was clearly not a great cook. The kitchen was filthy, he made serious food-safety mistakes, and if Mike and Diane decided he wasn’t capable of running their kitchen, firing him was completely defensible.

What rubbed me the wrong way was how quickly “Robert is a bad cook” became “Robert fucked up this entire business.”

Mike and Diane owned The Tailgate for years. They hired a bunch of relatives who weren’t qualified for their positions and then repeatedly failed to hold them accountable. Robert didn’t appoint himself cook. They hired him and allowed that kitchen to get into that condition.

Then the stress test happens. Robert is struggling, food is coming back, and a grease fire breaks out. Jon keeps framing it like “look what Robert did to you.” Brendan Collins recommends getting rid of him, and suddenly Diane finally discovers the ability to fire somebody.

Then she tells Robert to forget about coming back and “fucking up my business.”

Your business? You fucked up your business.

Robert may have contributed to the problems, but he did not spend years hiring inappropriate family members, failing to supervise them, allowing the kitchen to deteriorate, or apparently failing to ensure there was a functioning fire extinguisher when an actual kitchen fire occurred.

And if Robert’s skills and sanitation were really that bad, why did it take Jon Taffer and Brendan Collins showing up with a television crew before his own employers finally said:

>Clean your kitchen or you're fired.

That’s management.

Also, why was Robert treated like the cancer that needed to be cut out while Connie got reassigned? The show’s own test demonstrated that she was ineffective as security.

Again: Robert may very well have deserved to lose his job.

But there’s a difference between firing an employee because he isn’t capable of doing the job and acting like that employee personally destroyed a business that you owned and mismanaged for years before Jon Taffer ever walked through the door.

Robert wasn’t the problem.

Let me get two things out of the way immediately:

1. Kevin absolutely deserved to be fired. I am not disputing that whatsoever.
2. I am not Kevin.

I’m saying that second part because whenever somebody on a reality show is particularly egregious and someone on Reddit defends anything about how they were treated, inevitably somebody goes, “Nice try, Kevin.”

No. Kevin was an incompetent cook who deserved to lose his job. My issue is with the spectacle they made out of firing him and the victory lap they continued taking after he was already gone.

Richard promoted Michelle to manager, and then Michelle was the one who fired Kevin. Fine. But the whole thing was presented almost like a celebratory moment where everybody finally got to stick it to him.

Someone just lost his job.

Maybe he deserved to lose it. Maybe it was entirely his own fault that he lost it. That still fucking sucks. You can terminate somebody because they’re incompetent without turning it into a public humiliation ritual.

And I especially don’t buy the narrative that Kevin was somehow responsible for everything wrong with Fairways.

They found 14 health-code violations. Kevin absolutely bears responsibility for sanitation problems inside his kitchen.

But mushrooms growing in the walls of the walk-in?

That is not just a “bad cook” problem. Mold growing inside the structure of the building is a building-maintenance problem. Richard owns the place. That ultimately falls on ownership.

And despite the way the episode kept piling everything onto Kevin, Kevin did not cause Phil Wills to vomit.

Michelle served Phil beer from a keg that had apparently been connected for a fucking year. That’s disgusting, but unless Kevin was moonlighting as the person responsible for maintaining the beer system, that had absolutely nothing to do with him.

Yet they kept saying things like Kevin had “hurt every one of you,” as though this one shitty cook had single-handedly destroyed the entire business.

Then they fired him.

Okay. Good. He deserved it. Case closed. Move on.

Except they didn’t.

Jon then tells James that he’s “twice the man Kevin will ever be.”

Dude.

Kevin is already fucking gone.

Praise James because James deserves praise. Promote him. Give him responsibility. Tell him he stepped up.

Why does complimenting James require taking another personal shot at somebody who has already been fired and isn’t even there anymore?

And what pissed me off the most was Richard later bragging about how Kevin kept calling and texting him and how proud he was that he was ignoring the calls.

Answer his fucking calls. Stop being a pussy punk bitch.

You’re the owner. You just fired someone who worked for you. Maybe Kevin wants an explanation. Maybe he wants to argue about what happened. Maybe he needs to arrange getting his belongings. Maybe he just wants to bitch you out.

Whatever.

Answer the phone, tell him the decision is final, and have the uncomfortable conversation.

Ignoring his calls and then bragging about it on television doesn’t make Richard look tough. It makes him look like he was perfectly willing to confront Kevin when Jon Taffer, Michelle, security, and an entire television crew were standing behind him, but suddenly didn’t want to deal with Kevin once they were gone.

And before the inevitable comments:

Yes, I saw the final scene where Kevin drives away on his moped/liquor-cycle thing and you hear one last little “meep meep” as he disappears into the distance.

Please shut up.

Yes, it was edited to be funny. Yes, the visual is ridiculous. Yes, I laughed.

That has absolutely nothing to do with my point.

And again, no, I am not Kevin writing this.

Kevin deserved to get fired.

What he didn’t deserve was to become the convenient scapegoat for every problem at Fairways and then have everyone continue dancing on his grave after he’d already lost his job.

Consequences were warranted. The humiliation victory lap wasn’t.

EDIT / P.S. — There’s another elephant in the room: the concept itself sucked.

Fairways was a golf-themed bar in Murfreesboro, with a younger demographic, and somehow Kevin gets treated like he was the fundamental reason the place wasn’t drawing people.

Maybe the bigger problem was that golf fucking sucks as a bar concept for that market.

Golf is deliberately slow, quiet, low-energy and methodical. Bars, especially bars trying to attract a younger crowd, generally thrive on energy, social interaction, music, movement and atmosphere. Those things are almost complete opposites.

That doesn’t mean nobody likes golf or that a golf bar can never work. But if your entire concept isn’t resonating with the demographic around you, the cook cannot fix that by making a better burger.

Kevin could have suddenly transformed into Gordon fucking Ramsay and it still wouldn’t answer the question:

Why would a bunch of young people in Murfreesboro choose a low-energy golf-themed bar over every other place they could drink and hang out?

So yes, Kevin sucked at his job and deserved to be fired.

But Kevin didn’t put mushrooms in the walls, Kevin didn’t leave a keg tapped for a year, and Kevin sure as shit didn’t invent the golf concept.

At some point, maybe the failing bar was also the result of a shitty concept and shitty ownership decisions.

I have been hyped for this team since they announced hockey was coming back to Trenton last September. Before the name. Before the colors. Before the Islanders affiliation. I just knew CURE Insurance Arena was finally getting a real anchor tenant again.

That building has been criminally underused since the Titans disappeared. It was built to host regular sports, not just random family shows, graduations, and one-off events. The Ironhawks finally give CURE an identity again.

Now I need them to STICK.

I don’t just want a packed opening night because everybody’s curious. I want random January games in Year 3 to have a crowd. I want “let’s go to an Ironhawks game” to become a normal winter thing around here.

Also:

SHOW US THE FUCKING JERSEYS.

I have accepted the Ironhawks name. The logo grew on me. The colors grew on me. I’m buying a jersey. Blank back. 2XL. Let me see the damn thing already.

And while CURE is being renovated, please don’t ruin what makes the arena good. Keep the roomy seats. Keep the sightlines. Upgrade the ice, locker rooms, PA system, suites, concessions, whatever needs it. I do NOT need a video board visible from space. The hockey game is literally happening in front of me.

One more hill I will die on:

Trenton should eventually get a G League basketball team.

This is the perfect minor-league market between Philly and New York. Basketball fits Trenton better culturally than lacrosse or arena football, CURE already exists, and nobody needs to stop being a Sixers/Knicks/Nets fan to support affordable local basketball.

But first:

Give me the roster.
Give me the jersey.
Give me October 24.

I have waited long enough.

LET’S FUCKING GO IRONHAWKS. 🦅🏒

My rep, Courtney, has been telling me all summer that jerseys were coming in August, but apparently they’ve now been pushed back to September. I get it; supply chains, production timelines, all that fun stuff.

Naturally, I’ve tried fishing for anything in the meantime. A preview. A mockup. Even just what the primary jersey color is going to be. I know the team colors are blue, grey, red and white, but what color is actually going to dominate the jersey?

Her lips are SEALED.

Begrudgingly, props to you, Courtney. You’re my rep, and as much as I’d love for you to accidentally let something slip, I have to give you credit; you’re doing your job well and keeping whatever you’ve been told to keep under wraps completely under wraps.

So… anybody here have any scoop, rumors, leaks, educated guesses, anything?

October 24 cannot come quickly enough. Holy crap.

Based on a true story. Because it is a true story.

I woke up to a buzzing sound.

At first, I thought it was yard equipment outside. A weed whacker. A leaf blower. Something loud, irritating and safely separated from me by four walls.

Then I realized the sound was coming from inside the room.

I followed it to the window.

There, battering itself against the glass, was what I later learned was a European hornet.

No nest. No swarm. Just one lost wanderer who had entered the wrong house at the wrong time.

Fortunately, I was prepared.

In my kitchen sat a spray bottle filled with water, Dawn dish soap and Acqua di Giò. I had previously used it against flies. The Dawn broke the surface tension. The water drowned them.

The cologne was personal.

As this creature drifted into hell, its final scent would be that of the motherfucker who sent it there.

I ran downstairs, grabbed the bottle and returned.

Target acquired.

Target sighted.

Target locked.

But as the hornet buzzed furiously against the window, apprehension flooded my body. My finger rested on the trigger. For one brief moment, I hesitated.

It was enormous.

Angry.

Alive.

Then I squeezed.

One wide spray.

Direct hit.

The hornet crumpled instantly.

It fell onto the windowsill, convulsing, its wings twitching uselessly beneath the soapy water. It would never fly again. The Dawn allowed the water to spread across its body and seep into places nature never intended water to reach.

It struggled.

I fired again.

The coup de grâce.

When the movement finally stopped, I picked it up with tweezers and tore the stinger from its body.

It would never torture anyone.

Its nest would never follow its scent.

I dropped the remains into the toilet and flushed.

The buzzing was gone.

The room was silent again.

And somewhere deep within the pipes, a hornet descended into darkness smelling like Acqua di Giò.

I know the Eds lose constantly throughout the entire series. Their schemes blow up, the neighborhood turns on them, and Eddy usually ends the episode screaming while somebody beats the hell out of him.

But Season 5 feels different.

Earlier losses often felt earned because Eddy’s greed, Ed’s stupidity or the scam itself naturally caused everything to collapse.

Season 5 feels more like the writers started every episode by asking:

“How are we going to screw over the Eds this week?”

A few examples:

“Mission Ed-Possible”

Double D is a traitor in this episode.

Yes, Ed and Eddy earned their bad report cards. Yes, their parents were eventually going to find out.

But Edd personally agreeing to deliver his best friends’ report cards to their homes is ridiculous.

He wasn’t being asked to change their grades or destroy school records. He could have declined the assignment and let the school handle its own dirty work.

Instead, he becomes the principal’s eager little courier and personally carries the evidence to their parents.

Then he acts offended when Ed and Eddy treat it like a betrayal.

Because it was.

“Too Smart for His Own Ed”

Every kid in the cul-de-sac already knows Ed is an idiot.

They have known this for years.

Then Ed accidentally wins one spelling bee after Double D makes a mistake, and suddenly everyone decides Ed must secretly be a genius and voluntarily trusts him with their homework.

Then, when Ed predictably gives them answers that result in failing grades, they act shocked.

What exactly did they expect?

One lucky spelling-bee victory does not erase years of Ed eating things that aren’t food, misunderstanding basic sentences and believing every monster movie he watches is a documentary.

They willingly handed their schoolwork to Ed the idiot and then got angry when Ed continued being Ed the idiot.

Surely, SURELY they could have second-guessed it.

That one is entirely on them.

That said, the 2005 Peach Creek Spelling Bee will always rank alongside the Miracle on Ice and Buster Douglas knocking out Mike Tyson as one of the greatest upsets in the history of history.

“Out with the Old, In with the Ed”

The fact that Eddy successfully convinces the entire neighborhood that summer vacation hasn’t ended is already insane.

Surely their parents knew what month it was.

Surely they received school calendars.

Surely somebody bought clothes, backpacks, notebooks and other supplies before the night prior to school.

I can accept the kids being gullible enough to let Eddy fool them temporarily.

What I cannot accept is what happens when they finally realize school starts the next day:

They ransack Double D’s house for his school supplies.

Excuse me?

They were the ones dumb enough to believe Eddy.

They were the ones who failed to prepare.

Double D was organized and had his own supplies ready, so naturally the neighborhood rewards him by tearing through his home and helping themselves to his property.

Why is their lack of preparation Double D’s problem?

And why is invading someone’s house and taking his belongings treated like a reasonable response?

Eddy fooled them, but Double D somehow pays the price for being responsible.

“Cleanliness Is Next to Edness”

This episode is just undeserved misery for Double D.

His bathroom is being renovated, so he can’t take his usual shower. Fine. Home renovations happen.

But surely his parents were still bathing somewhere during this process.

Were they using another bathroom? Showering at a relative’s house? Going to a gym? Using some temporary setup?

Whatever their solution was, why didn’t they tell their own child?

Instead, Double D is left desperately trying to maintain his hygiene without any practical guidance, and the entire situation spirals into humiliation.

This isn’t Eddy launching a scam that blows up in his face. It isn’t Ed doing something idiotic and suffering the consequences.

Double D is punished because his parents apparently began a bathroom renovation without explaining to him how anyone in the household was supposed to shower.

That one was just tough to watch.

The larger issue

Again, I know the Eds lose in nearly every episode.

That is not my complaint.

My complaint is that Season 5 often makes those losses feel more contrived, more relentless and less deserved.

Double D becomes more willing to sell out his friends.

The other kids become selectively brain-dead whenever the plot needs them to believe something absurd.

The parents apparently stop communicating basic information to their children.

And even when one of the Eds acts responsibly, the universe still seems determined to punish him.

Earlier seasons felt like the Eds created chaos and suffered the consequences.

Season 5 often feels like chaos specifically hunts them down and kicks them in the ass whether they earned it or not.

Before anyone reaches for the "misogyny" button, let me make something crystal clear:

Criticizing Suzie does not mean defending Oskar.

Oskar is a huge loser. He's lazy, selfish, irresponsible, a gambler, and routinely creates problems for himself and everyone around him. None of that is in dispute WHATSOEVER.

My point is much simpler:

Just because Oskar is usually the bigger problem doesn't mean Suzie is automatically right every time.

I think the fandom often grades them on different curves. Oskar's flaws are so loud and obvious that Suzie's mistakes either get excused or ignored entirely.

Here are my biggest examples:

"Baby Oskar"

Everyone remembers Suzie's legendary "Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow!" speech.

What people conveniently forget is that Oskar asked her for a sandwich multiple times throughout the episode, and she kept putting him off. Yes, he's a grown man who can make his own sandwich, but that's not really the point; the point is that she repeatedly dismissed his requests without a second thought.

Then Mr. Budnik calls, and suddenly there's no hesitation at all. She drops everything and responds immediately.

Then Oskar says he'll do something "tomorrow," and suddenly postponing things is unacceptable?

I'm not saying Oskar deserved Husband of the Year. I'm saying that's hypocritical.

"Arnold as Cupid"

Yes, Oskar is awful throughout this episode.

He keeps Arnold from studying.

He turns off Arnold's alarm clock.

He gambles away Arnold's CD player.

He invites strangers into Arnold's room.

None of that is defensible.

But then we get to the cherry tart scene.

Suzie demands an ice bath before dessert.

She leaves her shoes out instead of putting them under the table.

Arnold trips over them and accidentally launches her tart into the ice bath.

Oskar then offers to split his tart with her.

Instead of accepting a perfectly fair compromise, the expectation suddenly becomes that he should give her the entire tart. Rather than simply asking him, Suzie use sarcasm. Oskar, whose first language isn't English, takes the statement literally and eats the tart.

I am aware that this scene was written to put Oskar's ability to think of other people to the test, which he's supposed to fail hilariously, and people remember it as another example of his selfishness.

I remember it as the moment where he was finally trying to do the right thing, only for the goalposts to get moved.

"Gerald Comes Over"

Whatever Oskar did beforehand, throwing plates around the apartment is completely unhinged behavior.

No, Oskar doesn't magically become the good guy because Suzie throws plates.

Likewise, Suzie doesn't magically become immune from criticism because Oskar is worse.

Those two ideas can coexist.

That's really my entire point.

You can acknowledge that Oskar is one of the biggest losers in the series while also acknowledging that Suzie sometimes behaves poorly.

Those positions are not contradictory.

And no, saying that is not "sexist."

It's evaluating a fictional character's actions the same way I'd evaluate any other character's actions.

Storming off because you didn't get dessert? What are you, four?

Throwing plates around the apartment? Seriously? What are you, some kind of an animal?

Oskar being a train wreck doesn't transform every reaction Suzie has into the correct one by default.

They can both be wrong.

1. Curly committed what could be either a misdemeanor or even a class B felony in the State of Washington over a pencil. If the Wankyland pencil meant that much to him, he could have just lent Eugene any other pencil. Talk about an overexaggeration!
2. Just because "it's an Oskar episode" doesn't mean Suzie is beyond criticism. The fandom gives her a free pass far too often because Oskar's flaws are louder. My point isn't that Oskar is secretly the good guy. He isn't. My point is that the fandom often acts as though Suzie can do no wrong simply because Oskar is usually much worse.
   • In "Baby Oskar," she repeatedly puts off making Oskar a sandwich, then unloads on him for saying "I'll do it tomorrow" after she's been doing essentially the same thing all episode.
   • In "Arnold as Cupid," Oskar absolutely behaves terribly throughout the episode. That doesn't change the fact that Suzie leaves her shoes in the middle of the floor, creating the hazard Arnold trips over. After her tart is ruined, Oskar offers to split his dessert, but she rejects the compromise and storms off when his misunderstanding of sarcasm results in him eating the rest. She contributed to the situation too.
   • In "Gerald Comes Over," throwing plates across the apartment isn't healthy or acceptable behavior, regardless of what Oskar did beforehand.
3. Stinky threw away a million dollars and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to change his family's circumstances because he let his emotions make the decision.
4. Olga isn't nearly as amazing as the fandom makes her out to be.

I think 3 Strikes could be made much more transparent without compromising the game’s difficulty or allowing contestants to gain an advantage.

My idea is based on the hopper used on the 2002–2007 Chuck Woolery version of Lingo: a clear, visible container where the home audience can see the balls being loaded and mixed, while the contestant cannot see which ball they are selecting.

For 3 Strikes, I would suggest:

• Start with a visibly empty transparent hopper.
• Load all five number balls and all three X balls on camera, clearly counting them as they go in.
• Mix the balls visibly before play begins.
• Make every ball identical externally: same color, size, weight, texture, and finish.
• Put the number or X marking somewhere that cannot be seen or felt until after the contestant has made the draw.

The point is not that I think The Price Is Right is rigging 3 Strikes or secretly adding extra Xs. But “it would be illegal” is not the most reassuring production answer possible. The best solution is to make the process auditable enough that viewers can see the correct eight balls loaded into an empty hopper themselves.

This setup would also solve the audience-coaching issue. If X balls and number balls are visibly different, the studio audience can potentially influence a contestant by reacting to a particular ball. If all balls are identical, the draw remains genuinely blind.

So the at-home audience gets transparency: empty hopper, correct ball count, visible mixing.

The contestant gets fairness: no peeking, no feeling for a distinctive ball, no help from the audience.

And the game remains exactly as brutal as it is supposed to be.

Someone from my neighborhood around my age died. I was not close with him, but I knew who he was, had seen him around for years, and was shocked when I saw a Facebook post from someone else saying “RIP.”

I commented on that post and asked "what happened?"

That was it. I did not contact his family. I did not ask for graphic details. I did not make my own post about him. I did not demand anyone answer me.

A guy from the neighborhood then messaged me privately and immediately started berating me. He said it was none of my business, accused me of being nosy, and treated me like I was asking for entertainment.

I tried to explain that I was not trying to gossip or disrespect the person who died. I was surprised, knew who he was, and was simply trying to understand what happened. I also said that if someone did not want to answer, they could just say that.

Instead, the private conversation escalated into insults and name-calling.

Looking back, I can understand why asking in the comments of an RIP post may have come off as insensitive. I probably could have asked a mutual privately or waited to see whether the family chose to share anything.

But I still do not think asking “what happened?” once makes someone a monster, and I do not think grief gives someone a blank check to insult another person.

So AITA for asking publicly in the comments, or was the guy who messaged me also out of line for how he handled it?

EDIT: Quote formatting

I know, I know:

“Cheese, you don’t live here. Go home.”

And yes, I know Foster’s had a big news story happening that day, so everyone was already on edge and trying to make the house look good.

But re-watching the episode, I’m not sure Cheese was actually doing anything that bad at first.

Annoying? Absolutely.

Random? Of course.

Socially impossible to manage? Obviously. It’s Cheese.

But aside from simply existing in the building and being Cheese, he wasn’t really being destructive at the beginning. Everyone treats his presence like an immediate crisis, but the real disaster doesn’t happen until Herriman installs the security code specifically to keep him out, and Cheese somehow memorizes it.

At that point, the whole situation turns into a self-inflicted chain reaction.

Cheese memorizes the code. Everyone desperately needs him to repeat it. Cheese, being Cheese, just screams instead. Goo somehow figures out that the only way to get the code out of him is through interpretive dance. Then Frankie escalates things even further by telling literally everyone else to join in, even though Cheese was really only responding to Goo and Frankie.

From there, the house basically submits to the madness. Nobody seems to stop and say, “Hey, maybe we should not let Cheese destroy the entire house as part of this dance.” They just go along with it until the chaos becomes the story.

So I get why they didn’t want him there. He doesn’t live there, he’s not their responsibility, and he’s exhausting.

But the episode almost makes it feel like the attempt to keep him out created a bigger crisis than simply tolerating him existing for a little while would have.

Was Cheese genuinely that big of a threat from the start, or did Herriman overreact and accidentally turn an inconvenience into a full-blown disaster?

This is probably going to sound strange, but I need to get it out somewhere.

When I was a kid, my mom worked with a woman I’ll call Christine. Every year, my mom’s workplace had a Christmas party where employees would bring their kids, nieces, nephews, etc.

At one of those parties in 2002, I caught my first glimpse of Christine’s niece. I’ll call her Alexa.

I was born in July 1991. She was born in April 1993. So she was almost two years younger than me. Not a big age difference in the grand scheme of life, but when you’re 12 and puberty hits you early and hard, other kids can make anything feel shameful.

I was immediately smitten with her. We actually met for real at the Christmas party in 2003, when I was 12 and she was 10.

And 2003 is important because, looking back, that was the last year of my childhood innocence. It was the last year I believed in Santa. It was the year where I was starting to feel older emotions, but I was still very much a kid. I was getting a taste of growing up, but I still lived in a world where Christmas parties felt magical and good things were supposed to happen at Christmas.

After that party, some of my friends found out I liked her and started making fun of me. They called me things like “pervert” and “child molester,” which, looking back, was ridiculous and cruel. We were both kids. But at that age, being mocked like that makes you bury things. So I stopped thinking about her romantically for a while. Or at least I thought I did.

She didn’t show up to the Christmas party in 2004. That was also the last time I saw Christine in person. Christine got married in February 2005, and later that year she transferred to a different branch. So the connection that made those Christmas parties feel like they might bring Alexa back was basically gone.

But I still held onto hope.

In the summer of 2005, the feelings came back. I don’t even know why. Alexa was not actively in my life. I hadn’t seen her since 2003. But I started holding her close in my heart again.

That fall, I started high school. And somehow, without fully intending it, the idea of Alexa became social currency for me. I started telling people she was my girlfriend.

She wasn’t just a complete lie to me. I did have feelings for her. They were real feelings, but they were also mixed with fantasy, unrequited puppy love, and this desperate need to have a story about myself that made me feel less exposed in a new environment.

Every Christmas after that, I hoped maybe she would show up again.

Maybe Christine would make a surprise appearance. Maybe Alexa would come with her. Maybe the old Christmas-party world would somehow come back.

It was Christmas. Good things were supposed to happen at Christmas.

But she never came. Neither did Christine.

Then in February 2007, my mom pulled a favor with Christine to reconnect me with Alexa. We started emailing. Then we started instant messaging.

And that’s when the fantasy started falling apart.

She was no longer just this perfect memory from a Christmas party. She was a real person. She had her own life, her own personality, her own opinions, and eventually I found out she had a boyfriend.

There’s an episode of As Told by Ginger called “Ginger’s Solo” where Ginger holds onto this idealized version of a boy from Camp Caprice, only to reconnect with him and realize he has a girlfriend and the fantasy in her head was never the full reality. I didn’t have the language for it at the time, but that was basically what happened to me.

Alexa had become my Sasha. Not because she did anything wrong, but because I had turned her into a symbol during the years she was absent.

And honestly? Her personality was not what I had built up in my head.

That sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. The real Alexa could not compete with the version of Alexa I had created in my memory. No real person could.

By July 2007, I remember watching the music video for “Beautiful Girls” by Sean Kingston and mentally writing her off. I accepted that I was never going to see her at Christmas again. I accepted that the fantasy was over. And weirdly, I was okay with it.

Years later, in 2011, she started at the same college I was attending. I was a junior. The 13- or 14-year-old version of me would have lost his mind at that. He would have thought, “What do you mean you never reconnected? You were both at the same school!”

But I didn’t. We never reconnected once.

By then, the pedestal was dust.

Looking back now, I don’t think Alexa was really just about Alexa.

She was a real person, and the feelings I had were real in the way childhood feelings are real. But she also became a symbol of something bigger: Christmas, 2003, childhood, innocence, and the belief that if you waited long enough, the old magic might come back.

From about 13 to 15, I think I clung to being 12 longer than I should have. I tried to keep things the way they were in 2003. Between Alexa, old TV shows getting cancelled, growing up, and realizing Christmas was not as magical as it used to be, I got stuck for a while.

I don’t think I threw my whole life away, but I did lose some time trying to preserve a version of childhood that was already gone.

The sad part is that I wasn’t really waiting for Alexa.

I was waiting for the world she represented to come back.

And it never did.

I know Bar Rescue has plenty of owners who are incompetent, arrogant, delusional, or all three.

But Josh Lubliner from Summit House might be one of the saddest cases of “this man gets absolutely no respect” I’ve ever seen on the show.

Think about what happens to this guy.

His own wife, Alexia, berates and insults him in his own bar.

He cannot even finish a beer in peace because Alexia shuts that down too. ("If you finish that, this is OVER")

Then Jon Taffer dumps the beer on him.

Then, somehow, his own employees end up ejecting him from his own bar.

His bar.

His employees.

His wife.

His beer.

At a certain point, it stops being a rescue and starts looking like a public humiliation ceremony.

I’m not saying Josh was blameless. Clearly, the bar had problems. Clearly, he had leadership issues. Clearly, Taffer did not show up because everything was running beautifully.

But good Lord, this guy got treated like a random drunk regular who wandered in off the street.

There are a lot of Bar Rescue owners who deserve to get torn apart.

Josh just felt like a man who had already lost control of every room he walked into.

To say the least, this man got no respect.

Look, I understand that The Price Is Right is harder than it looks.

You’re under pressure. The lights are bright. Drew Carey is standing there. The audience is screaming prices at you like a malfunctioning stock exchange. You might panic. You might make a bad bid. You might think a kayak costs $9,000. It happens.

Losing happens.

But wiping out? Completely different story.

There are certain pricing games where losing should come with a mandatory walk of shame.

Spelling Bee

All you have to do is spell the word CAR.

That’s it.

C. A. R.

And even if you have the faintest shadow of doubt in your ability to spell the word “car,” you can still walk away with a few thousand dollars. If you somehow leave this game with nothing, I need you to sit quietly and think about your choices.

Secret X

You are putting X’s on a board.

That’s the game.

You need three X’s in a row. This is not calculus. This is tic-tac-toe with prizes. Losing Secret X feels like losing to a restaurant placemat.

Plinko

I know the “official” perfect win is getting all $50,000.

Fine. That is hard.

But if you walk away from Plinko with $0, that is on you, gravity, and whatever curse followed you into the studio. Plinko is practically designed to hand you something. If you get nothing, I’m assuming you offended the Plinko gods.

Any of the 50/50 games

I’m talking:

• One Right Price
• Double Prices
• Switch?
• Side by Side
• Do the Math

These are coin-flip games with appliances.

I understand losing one. Bad luck happens. But if you confidently pick the wrong option while the entire audience is screaming the correct one, I reserve the right to yell at my television.

Hole in One

It is a putt.

I know there is pressure. I know studio floors are weird. I know not everyone golfs.

But if you manage to earn the furthest line, meaning your ability to judge what costs more than what is apparently complete garbage, and still miss badly, I am judging you. Not forever. But for at least the length of the next commercial break.

Bullseye

This game is baffling because people seem to accidentally win it all the time.

You can stumble into victory by misunderstanding groceries. You can get saved by the hidden bullseye. The game has multiple escape hatches.

Losing Bullseye feels almost impossible, and yet people find a way.

Pathfinder

I know the odds are technically rough.

But getting off the first number is not rocket science. You are standing on a board with numbers around you. You have options. Use your eyes. Use the audience. Use the most basic sense of car-price logic available to the human brain.

Once you get to the third number, the game gets easier because the price starts narrowing itself down. But somehow, people still manage to get eliminated before they even build momentum.

Not advancing past the second number in Pathfinder is shameful. Not getting off the first number is pathetic.

Master Key

I do not even need you to win the car.

I am not asking for perfection.

But not earning a single key? Not winning any prize at all? You came all the way to Television City to demonstrate that you cannot price a blender or a rice cooker within a reasonable range?

Unacceptable.

Grocery Game

Going over happens. I understand that.

Going over in one turn is different.

If the target is $20 to $22 and you buy twelve of something because you apparently think soup costs seventeen cents, that is not bad luck. That is grocery-based malpractice.

One Away

Getting all five numbers wrong in One Away should require a wellness check.

The game literally gives you a second chance. The sound effects tell you how badly you did. You are not locked into your first disaster. And yet some people still manage to be wrong in every possible direction.

That is impressive, but not in a way I respect.

Clock Game

This should be automatic.

Higher. Lower. Higher. Lower.

That’s the game.

If you lose Clock Game, I’m annoyed. If you cannot get off the first prize, I need you escorted away from the pricing games for your own safety.

There are losses, and then there are wipeouts.

Pulling three straight X’s in 3 Strikes? Wipeout.

Not advancing off the first number in Pathfinder? Wipeout.

Not earning a key in Master Key? Wipeout.

Going over in Grocery Game in one turn? Wipeout.

Getting all five numbers wrong in One Away? Wipeout.

Failing to win even the first prize in Clock Game? Wipeout.

Losing is part of the game.

Wiping out is a cry for help.

To be clear, I respect anyone brave enough to get on stage and play in front of America.

But if you wipe out in one of these games, I have a tremendous deal of contempt for you.

Context: I live in the Philly area, but I’m sure this applies to most major cities with sports and concert venues connected to public transit in some capacity.

Taking the subway or train to a game or concert is almost always better than driving.

First, the cost. Parking at stadiums and arenas is absurd. You’re easily looking at $20-40, sometimes more, just to leave your car in a lot. Meanwhile, a train or subway ride is usually $3 max. Even if you have to drive to the station first, you’re still usually coming out ahead.

Second, speed. Driving sounds convenient until you actually get there. You have to find parking, sit in traffic, walk from the lot, then after the event, sit in a parking-lot prison while everyone tries to leave at the same time. If you take the subway, you just walk to the platform, get on, and go.

Third, the experience. For sports especially, taking the subway adds to the whole day. You’re surrounded by other fans, the energy builds before you even get to the stadium, and you can pregame without worrying about driving afterward. You can’t exactly do that behind the wheel unless you’re trying to speedrun a DUI.

Another major benefit: you actually get to stay until the end.

Every time I go with someone who drove, there’s always that conversation:

“We should leave early to beat traffic.”

No. I paid for the whole game. I want to see the whole game. If there’s a walk-off, overtime, encore, comeback, curtain call, or anything else memorable, I want to be there for it. Taking public transit means you get to stay until the end and still avoid the parking-lot nightmare.

The drawbacks are real. Trains can be crowded. You might be packed in with sweaty fans, loud drunk people, or someone who thinks personal space is merely a suggestion. If you’re worried about germs, bring hand sanitizer, wash your hands when you get home, maybe take some Airborne before the game, and keep it moving.

But overall, subway beats driving almost every time.

Cheaper. Faster. Better atmosphere. Less stress. No parking-lot hostage situation.

For games and concerts, public transit is the superior move.

We're talking about Francine Alice Fresnsky.

• Captain of three teams (if we wanna talk about leadership)
• Can sit on Binky's head
• Arguably the greatest athlete in the history of Lakewood Elementary

And she does NOT win Athlete of the Year. It is Jenna Morgan who pulls the upset simply because she:

• Skis
• Plays Badminton
• Coaches peewee

Like, I can understand if it were a close call, but apparently it was a huge upset.

• Mr. Haney says that the decision was unanimous
• Only Muffy joined any semblance of resistance to this decision
• Even Francine's own father doesn't protest the decision. He just tells Francine to get over it and move on. If I were Oliver, I'd raise hell at that school
• Everyone else just accepted it.

Francine fights for her teams and captains them on the field of play, and yet none of you can fight for her?

Spring 2005. I was in 8th grade at a Catholic grade school, giving a presentation in science class.

And because I was in 8th grade, my body picked the worst possible time to betray me. I got one of those random erections teenage boys get for no reason whatsoever. Not because of anything. Not because I was trying to be weird. Just because puberty is a terrorist.

Two kids in my class, Joe and Brian, noticed and started heckling me during the presentation.

Some backstory: I had a bad temper when I was younger. Kids knew it was easy to get me angry, so they would pick at me because they thought it was funny when I snapped. Joe and Brian clearly thought this was going to be one of those moments where they could embarrass me, get me to pop off, and then enjoy the show.

But this time, I didn’t take the bait.

My only real regret, other than the entire situation being humiliating, is that I missed the perfect 2005 Catholic school comeback: “Why are you looking there anyway? What are you, gay?”

Obviously not exactly enlightened by today’s standards, but in 2005, in 8th grade, that would have landed like I had just delivered the Gettysburg Address.

Instead, I just stood there and tried to survive the presentation.

The teacher had enough and gave both of them four weeks of detention right there on the spot.

Brian took it like a man.

Joe did not.

Later, Joe called the teacher’s house and said inappropriate things to her over the phone. This was 2005, so she used *69 to call the number back, which really dates the story. She realized it was Joe. The police got involved.

From what I remember, he probably should have been expelled. But because it was May of our 8th grade year, the school basically suspended him for the rest of the year and barred him from walking at graduation.

I know logically that he did it to himself. He could have just served the detention. He could have accepted the consequence and moved on like Brian did.

But I still can’t help feeling like the whole thing started because of me.

If I hadn’t gotten embarrassed during that presentation, they wouldn’t have heckled me. If they hadn’t heckled me, they wouldn’t have gotten detention. If Joe hadn’t gotten detention, maybe he never would have made that phone call.

So even though I know I didn’t actually make him do anything, part of me still feels like I caused a kid to miss walking at graduation.