u/Front-Kale4042

• Acting cold and distant while staying on the computer during a visit despite attempts at small-talk, followed with an explanation that they are trying to emotionally distance themselves because they found out you are going away for a few weeks and their other friend recently moved away.
• Spending visits complaining that they don't have​ much going on in their lives, acting tired and saying they can't wait to get paid.
• Texting you "woe is me" stories about how their family hates them.
• Saying an action you did (say lending out a book they lent me without their permission, which I understand which out of line) was "irritable", without making eye contact.
• Offering to buy you lunch if you come to visit them, only to say last-minute that they can't afford to.
• Getting together for an event with mutual friends and coming to you with $50 in cash saying this is all they have and they cannot afford the event.
• Using the term "frustrated" with you frequently
• Overly praising you when they are in a good mood.
• Acting timid and submissive around you when they are in a bad mood (if not cold and dismissive).
• Sometimes they are enjoyable to be around, sometimes they are insufferable.
• Saying to me my friend is annoying, and when they are confronted about it later say they had been feeling possessive of me as I was their friend first.

The dentist doesn't seem keen to put sealants on all my molars, has just been putting them on the ones that develop issues. Th​e thing is (and if I had a nickle for each time I would have two nickels, which is not much but still), A couple of my molars during consecutive dentist visits have developed a "sticky catch" in the groves requiring a cleaning and a filling. Each visit ends with putting a sealant on the affected molar, but at this point I don't know why I don't just get sealants on all of them if it's clear that I still need them. The dentist said they are mostly for kids but obviously I'm an outlier and need them anyway, because this wasn't happening at all before they fell off and I am diligent with brushing and flossing.​

I understand if I can't get medical advice here, but I would like to know if this has been heard of and how many would react in this situation.

My dentist has been putting sealants on all the molars that have problems, but when this happened to the second molar and I brought up just getting sealants on all of them he said it wasn't necessary. I'm obviously no tooth specialist, but I am a nurse and I feel it stands to reason that clearly I am someone who will develop problems if I don't have sealants, instead of waiting for problems to show up (which they ultimately will).

The problems with my molars have been described as catching "sticky stuff" in the groves that needs to be cleaned out and then have a minor filling. I never have gotten I feel it stands to reason cavities like this except for when I was little but now that my sealants are off it seems like​ a regular occurrence, and I do all the brushing and flossing, but aside from a pointy brush they gave me to help prevent this (which I asked for) I don't even know if there's much I can do about this on my own.

I feel like this problem generally isn't getting as much attention as it needs, the fact that it has happened twice now that my sealants are gone and they are kind of just saying "well...". Shouldn't this be seen as more urgent to prevent?

I came up with this speculation on how the games might have continued in an AU Panem where many people, especially in the poorest districts, refuse to have children. The fact that many would in this world is one of the things that probably bothered me the most about this series, so I have come up with a political system that is somewhat convoluted and, in some eerie ways, might resemble modern political systems.

PANEM - ALTERNATE REALITY The rebellion never started with Katniss, Plutarch, or even Haymitch. It has been going on for decades, almost since the time of Lucy Gray Baird, through the subtle but growing resolve in many of the poorest districts: To not have kids. Shrines of the fallen have been built in secret as a reminder. Herb specialists have developed underground methods of birth control and abortion, and people have even killed their newborns in secret. Rumour has it that there are even underground transportation systems with peacekeeper rebels to transport children into wealthier districts for a chance of life - in some rare cases, even the Capitol.

The Capitol knows to varying extents what is going on, but they cannot react in cold blood as that would only ignite more of a rebellion. They must be tactful, to remind the districts of to whom they owe the lives of themselves, and their unborn children.

So they implement financial incentives to have kids: For each child, a person or family will be financially rewarded with enough money to create a measly base of financial stability for the child's first 18 years of life. This is tempting, especially for the poorest people of the districts who had thought there was no hope in living a normal life much less extending their bloodline. They never could have dreamed of bringing children into a world like this - however, stable finances allow them to prevent their children from ever needing tesserrea, which would lead to slimmer chances of being reaped. This slowly but surely wins people over, and creates much conflict and division in the districts.

But as this incentive gains popularity over a few decades (some in more districts and communities than others), inflation goes up with an underproductive economy. So the peacekeepers must implement longer hours with frozen salaries, and the Capitol brings in other incentives: In exchange for increased child labour, families will be rewarded with free tesserrea and even reduced entries in the reaping ball, depending on the amount of hours and where the child works. Skilled children with much to offer are especially rewarded with more safety. People raise their children to be just like this, and this incentive also increases the amount of goods entering the Capitol.

The Capitol also eventually introduces a tribute exchange program: To further combat infertility and inflation, people are brought in from wealthier districts based on a variety of situations like crime rates, lack of skill or contribution in their home district, and another incentive: To provide their child, especially a potential Career, with the chance to volunteer as tribute from a poorer districts and escape the volunteer competition from other careers. This offers intermittent protection for the children of those districts during those years; whenever an "exchange tribute" is brought in, they are expected by the community to be the sacrificial lamb and, especially if they are from Career districts, risk becoming social pariahs if they do not volunteer. Unfortunately, this creates a new type of rebellion, as people try to avoid being moved to poorer districts for less-fulfilling lives. Some of the Career parents have even rejected the Career mentality and have taught their children the same way, and so go into hiding to avoid being moved to a poorer district (which, in some cases, is now even being done as punishment for suspected rebels such as them).

In the time of Katniss and Prim, the tribute-exchange system has become deeply ingrained in their district despite being somewhat unreliable. Prim is reaped the year that a volunteer is unavailable, leaving Katniss to take her place.

Because there is so much more protection against the games compared to the original society, Katniss is even less of a fan of the rebelling and even shows her district's prejudice against the exchange-tributes as solely existing to protect her and her friends. She is far from born a hero, but must become one throughout the series. And her move with the berries was not a defining act of the rebellion so much as "the right place at the right time"; many tributes before her have done similar things, but this time, Katniss is roped in by Plutarch and his team, much to her reluctance. (Maybe they like her personality and skill she is even groomed earlier on to be a rebel, which offers some secret protection for her in the games and explains the plot armour).

I feel like this allows for the series to be more convoluted but somewhat more realistic in how a society like this would actually exist, instead of what comes off as blind acceptance of the reaping without attempt of silent rebellion such as this. Maybe some people in some cases are eventually threatened with death if they do not have children (especially victors) but that proves to not only risk igniting a rebellion but not be enough, as many people would still rather die in a miserable life of poverty and reapings.

This isn't a fan fiction so much as a speculation which strives to answer one of the questions that bothers me most: Why do people in Panem, especially the poorest districts with the most slim survival rates, continue to have kids?

It seems unbelievable to me that there wouldn't be more people like Katniss who refuse to being their unborn children into such an existence, not to mention that declining fertility rates can be a method of rebellion in of itself.

Explanations I have picked up on include survival instincts, hope for a better future, slim chances of being reaped, and lack of birth control. But I have come up with an explanation for a society that, in some ways eerily similar to modern politics, maintains population in a world of rebellious decline.

ALTERNATE REALITY

The rebellion never started with Katniss, Plutarch, or even Haymitch. It has been going on for decades, almost since the time of Lucy Gray Baird, through the subtle but growing resolve in many of the poorest districts: To not have kids.

Shrines of the fallen have been built in secret as a reminder. Herb specialists have developed underground methods of birth control and abortion, and people have even killed their newborns in secret. Rumour has it that there are even underground transportation systems with peacekeeper rebels to transport children into wealthier districts for a chance of life - in some rare cases, even the Capitol.

The Capitol knows what's going on, but they cannot react in cold blood as that would only ignite more of a rebellion. They must be tactful, to remind the districts of to whom they owe the lives of themselves, and their unborn children.

So they create financial incentives to have kids. This slowly but surely wins people over, in spite of their initial resolves; a financially stable existence will drastically reduce or even eliminate their chances of children needing tesserrea, leading to slimmer chances of being reaped while allowing for a continued bloodline. This creates much conflict and division in the districts, but it works.

But this creates much inflation within the districts which drives up poverty rates. So the peacekeepers must implement longer hours with frozen salaries, and the Capitol comes up with other incentives; increased child labour in exchange for free tesserrea or even reduced entry in the reaping ball depending on the number of hours and where the child works. Anything to keep their children safe, and this of course increases the amount of goods for the Capitol.

To further combat infertility and inflation, people are brought in from wealthier districts based on a variety of situations like crime rates, lack of skill or contribution in their home district, and another incentive: To provide their child, especially a potential Career, with the chance to volunteer as tribute from a poorer districts and escape the volunteer competition from other careers. This offers intermittent protection for the children of those districts during those years; whenever an "exchange tribute" is brought in, they are expected by the community​ to be the sacrificial lamb and, especially if they are from Career districts, risk becoming social pariahs if they do not volunteer.

Unfortunately, this creates a new type of rebellion, as people try to avoid being moved to poorer districts for less-fulfilling lives. Some of the Career parents have even rejected the Career mentality and have taught their children the same way, and so go into hiding to avoid being moved to a poorer district (which, in some cases, is now even being done as punishment for suspected rebels such as them).

In the time of Katniss and Prim, the tribute-exchange system has become deeply ingrained in their district despite being somewhat unreliable. Prim is reaped the year that a volunteer is unavailable, leaving Katniss to take her place.

Because there is so much more protection against the games compared to the original society, Katniss is even less of a fan of the rebelling and even shows her district's prejudice against the exchange-tributes as solely existing to protect her and her friends. She is far from born a hero, but must become one throughout the series. And her move with the berries was not a defining act of the rebellion so much as "the right place at the right time"; many tributes before her have done similar things, but this time, Katniss is roped in by Plutarch and his team, much to her reluctance. (Maybe they like her personality and skill she is even groomed earlier on to be a rebel, which offers some secret protection for her in the games and explains the plot armour).

I feel like this allows for the series to be more convoluted but somewhat more realistic in how a society like this would actually exist, instead of what comes off as blind acceptance of the reaping without attempt of silent rebellion such as this. Maybe some people in some cases are eventually threatened with death if they do not have children (especially victors) but that proves to not only risk igniting a rebellion but not be enough, as many people would still rather die in a miserable life of poverty and reapings.

For context, I had symptoms consistent with atypical anorexia and orthorexia. I lost a large amount of weight, but everyone assumed it was weight I had "needed" to lose and were not very receptive when I told them I was starving.

I use the term "recovery" with much leniency because I had never been officially diagnosed. I was retroactively assessed to have been on the "spectrum" of disordered eating. A traumatic accounter about my BMI with an MD caused me to develop extreme restrictions and exercise routines, as well as a high self-performing mindset and a tendancy to reject comforts or hobbies that made me feel insufficient.

During early attempted recovery, I experienced a series of emotionally traumatic events and gained a perplexing amount of weight. It was the highest I had ever been, and higher than most people I know. I frankly should not have looked at the number because that has been a trigger for my disordered eating (I haven't known my weight since), but the experience of finally getting comfortable with food again, only to become very heavy and be emotionally isolated by those around me, was triggering and impeded my recovery.

The worst part was that people around me were not receptive to my struggles. To them, I had just overeaten and let myself go. They didn't seem to understand that I was still struggling with disordered eating and that I felt like my body was punishing me for eating again. They also weren't receptive when my recovery was delayed and I went into frequent fad dieting. They didn't know that I was traumatized and terrified of food. They didn't know that diet culture was running my life, and the weight that my body was holding on to was making it far worse.

Even now, I get passive-aggressive comments with accusations for being "overweight" from those who have no idea what my history is. Those comments have been traumatic, and I think I need to be coming clean more so people will not look at my body and make assumptions.

Even when our bodies do not reflect our struggles, that should not mean we are "healed". It can even mean the opposite.

Two times in a row this happened when I went to visit him. The first time he attributed it to having worked that day (only four hours, by the way) so I decided "okay, I'll only see him on weekends when he has more energy". He had spent the visit on his computer and muttering that you can't wait to get paid.

The second time, he stayed on his computer the entire time and virtually ignored me save for small talk. He hardly made any eye contact with me at all the entire visit. I confronted him about this later on and he said he was trying to distance himself from​ me because I was going on a vacation for 3 weeks, and between that and one of his close friends moving to Europe he feels a sense of abandonment. He wasn't blaming it on me, only justifying his actions.

There have been times like this where he just wasn't fun to be around, getting high or crying poor or just not returning the energy I put out. I used to put up with it so much more, but since making other friends feel like I just don't need this in my life. He used to be a lot more enjoyable to be around, but ever since the pandemic he hasn't been the same. He is a lot better than a few years ago, but there have been some steps back such as this I don't have the tolerance I used to.

I have been distancing myself from him and am debating cutting him off. It isn't exactly easy, ​because my family really likes him and we do have a history together. But I have had compassion fatigue for him for many years, and sometimes I feel like he is just weighing me down.

He has a bunch of mental health challenges and financial issues that he has failed to take charge of, I used to give him advice but when he wouldn't use it I stopped giving it, so when he pulls the broke card on me I just say "well..." and refuse to give him any loans regardless of circumstance. But so many little issues have happened between us that I just don't know if I have the energy to deal with it anymore.

Like someone will be talking and the sounds just goes out during one word and then comes back. I think I have an idea of whether there is but I want to make sure I understand

I had heard scary stories from my parents only getting 45-60 minutes fragment sleep in extremely uncomfortable conditions. I specifically slept only a few hours the previous night (I almost pulled an all-night) and when I got there, the bed was so comfortable and the​ wires didn't bother me at all. I shouldn't have had trouble sleeping but nooooope, my nervous system had other plans.

So I have an anxiety disorder, and once in a blue moon I experience this phenomenon where even though I am not actively thinking​ or experiencing anxious thoughts, my heart will race along with butterflies in my stomach, especially when I try to sleep. Each thought that I have, happy or calming, serves as a trigger for this "gag reflex". I swear my nervous system develops a mind of its own when this happens in fact​ I managed some light, fragment which sleep during the third hour as I slipped into wakefulness my heart was still racing. Like dude.

I called in the technologist at 1:00 AM and told him like it was: The bed is very comfortable, and I no reason to complain except for my stupid heart racing. He surprised me by saying I was doing very well, and when I asked him if I had slept he said there was some.

I took a short bathroom break, did some journaling, and managed a deep sleep for approximately 1:45-3:45. I woke up and was awake for about an hour before returning to fragmented sleep until they came to get me at 5:51. My heart racing was​n't as bad during this time.

I asked if they could tell me how much I slept and he said he couldn't because the data had to be analyzed. I left the place worried, because when I had asked throughout the night how much sleep was needed, they had said 4 hours or the study would be inconclusive.

I was worried that I thought I had gotten just barely that amount or even less. my parents had both had sleep studies and had been diagnosed with 1-2 or even 45 minutes of fragmented sleep, so I don't know why I was told 4 hours, but the idea of going fill that just to be told in August that they cannot diagnose me or prescribe a CPAP makes me anxious. It's not that I have trouble sleeping, I am concerned about my brain health because sleep apnea does run in the family and my brother was recently diagnosed. I am also heavyset (with disordered eating history) and my ​neck and waist measurements are that of a man (28F). The idea of not being diagnosed and having to wait longer for a device that might save my brain health spooks me.

Thank you for reading, any intake or assurance​ would be ​appreciated​

I had one done last night for suspected sleep apnea and they told me it has to be 4 hours minimum or The study will be inconclusive. However, my parents have both gotten between 45 minutes and 1 to 2 hours​ and They didn't seem to have a problem.

I'm worried I didn't even make the 4-Hour mark because I was comfortable but I was having this stupid anxiety attack that made it harder to fall and stay asleep. If I made the mark then it was just barely. if the study was inconclusive, I might go out of province provided there is a long wait time for another.

This is in Ontario, Canada

On occasion, when I don't seem to be actively anxious, I guess I have enough subconscious anxiety that my heart just races when I try to go to sleep. It happened yesterday during a sleep study and I'm I would like worried that it was a inconclusive. Sometimes I would fall into a light sleep and then when I woke up my heart was still racing like it literally doesn't shut up. And then I have that "rising" feeling in my stomach as well. I'm experiencing it all right now. It's like a gag reflex. We're thinking about something or even just nothing triggers it and it's very difficult to get rid of. Maybe I was nervous about the sleep study and getting enough sleep and that's what was going on?

I would welcome some tips from anyone who has had a problem similar to this and how to manage it.

I know that maybe I make more posts about some things that I need to, but I also know that the subs I have posted on have *thousands* of contributors a week and I barely post once a month *with* overposting, so if someone is following me so closely then I think they are the ones who need to get a life.

It's repetitive posting on experiences but with different subjects related to them. For example, how it happened, a life question related to it, a discussion question related to it, etc. When bloggers refer to the same thing multiple times in different contexts they aren't called out.

It's a free platform, if you find me repetitive and annoying then just block me and move on.

So I am not good with ending friendships at the best of times, but this one is more of a family friend so it isn't as easy to move on from. It has had turbulence and complexities in recent years, and between that and compassion fatigue, I just feel burnt out.

For context, this person has a very troubling background. They grew up in an extremely abusive and demoralizing environment, have been tossed between assisted living facilities for the past 10+ years, and ever since the pandemic have struggled with finances and weed/alcohol addictions.

We used to be very close friends, exchanging interest and advice, but ever since the pandemic, they just haven't been the same. They became timid and withdrawn, started latching onto my kindness and asking me for loans, and would often use me as a soundboard for personal issues. I had confronted them on it very recently and they seem to be moving out of the rut they were in since 2021, but there have been setbacks, particularly as of late; the last couple of times I went to visit this person, they have been extremely withdrawn and standoffish, and frankly not fun to be around.

I have recently confronted this person again about how they were not engaging the last time I saw them, and they stated some excuse of not wanting to get too close to me because one of their close friends is moving away and I had recently announced I am going away for 3 weeks next month. It seemed like a legitimate excuse at the time, but upon reflection, it feels like a cop-out and even toxic possessiveness, like this person is projecting frustration with their own life onto me while subtly trying to drag me down.

I was in a very different place when we first met; I had my own trauma (though not nearly as bad as theirs), had no idea what I wanted for a career, was far less confident as a person, and suffered from an unspecified eating disorder. I have since matured and found myself, and I am finally receiving the recognition and therapy I have need for years, but they have not progressed in the same way, and in some ways they seem to have gone backwards. While I recognize that they still suffer from their trauma, I have been thinking more about myself and what I want and need in a friendship, and more and more, I have been thinking that I need to be with someone who is on my level and doesn't feel like a charity case.

Funny enough, this person had said at one point when they knew I was not happy with their actions that they were worried about losing me but also wondering if I was better off without them. I have gotten to think more and more that that might be true. It is no help that they do not seem to have The ability or wherewithal to improve their life

I think I have it myself, and from what I understand, while PCOS does have metabolic correlations, it is primarily a hormonal issue and somewhat idiopathic in cause. I understand there isn't a cure or a mainstay treatment, but shouldn't there be emphasis on things other than weight loss and diet when that clearly isn't the main cause?

I am good friends with someone who has a lot of challenges and can sometimes be very difficult to be around - not because of what he does, but because of the way he is.

When I saw him the other day, he was on his computer the entire time and hardly making eye contact. His tone was very quiet and somewhat dismissive. I could have told him to put away the computer and look at me but I don't think there would have been a point if he clearly wasn't feeling social. He did start complaining at one point about his living situation, how lonely he is, how little money he has, how he spends most of his free time eating and sleeping. He has limited finances but he also mismanaged them and doesn't utilize resources to the best of his abilities. I have given him much advice, but he won't use it.

I can't be around someone who is struggling, crying poor, and saying "woe is me". I need to live and enjoy my life and be lifted up by those around me, not dragged down.

But it's not as simple as just cutting him off because he's not always like this. There are times he is actually very enjoyable to be around. He is unpredictable; my mother and I have wondered if he has BPD. I have had conversations with him sitting boundaries that I can't be with him if he's struggling and I wonder if I will have to have a conversation like that again..

When I jump, I just fall. I can do assisted handstands where I face the wall and lift one leg at a time for 2-3 minutes. I haven't done a lot of "jump-offs" which I might start doing. I can do 1-2 seconds of crow pose, can lift 2 40lb dumbbells over my head or one 45-50 dumbbell at a time. I don't know if my upper body strength still needs to develop or if I am just lacking the flexibility and/or confidence.

I am a heavyset female (28) and can't share my weight because I am in disordered eating recovery.

I have never done it before but am wondering if it is something someone could work up to. I can't bear hug it, I don't know if I'm supposed to be finding grip in these trees and pulling myself up by my fingers through the cracks on the trunk?

Since I need more characters, I will also ask... How can I train myself to bear-hug climb trees? I have never climbed trees in my life because I had motor planning issues as a kid, and now I just lack the upper body strength. I work on my upper body with assisted Pull-Ups (can currently do a few negatives), plank, assisted handstand, pushups, strength training. Any tips on training myself to climb a tree if I can't do it at all?

I don't have hair-loss, but my hair is fine and I have struggled with plateaus and uneven growth/length retention. I have been adopting a better hair routine (scalp massaging, no "hair training", protective hair styling esp at night, diet and exercise, keratase, occasional deep conditioning) but have been wondering if LLLT would potentially improve the process, if not by making my hair grow faster (it grows at an average rate) than reducing shedding or improving thickness to help length retention.

I know it is unrealistic for things to stay the exact same thing for decades, but I feel like the new LT shorts/shows try so hard to capture the original style without understanding what made it work.

The original show not only had smart and timely humor; it was a production, with beautiful animation and music, iconic voice acting and line delivery, even creative plots that bordered mysterious and (to my younger self) at times creepy. The newer shorts rely too much on slapstick and repeating of iconic lines while keeping everything else bland and forgettable.

What I respect about the 2000s shows and movies was that they knew they were different and treated themselves as such. Duck Dodgers, Loonatics Unleashed, the LT Show, Space Jam, Back in Action... popularity for them varies, but I have always respected that the writers took these iconic characters and said "hey, you know these iconic characters who have been historically used for comedy? Let's put them into these complex worlds and stories built on larping while maintaining a comedic edge". The slapstick allowed these shows and movies to nod at their original use while creating something completely different, and in some cases, the animation, voice acting, and music was really good.

The current shorts (and possibly movies) just say "look, this character did this!" and call it a day. The animation is cheap and the writing generic, there are too many meta jokes/plots, and while this might be an unpopular opinion, the voice acting doesn't quite hit the mark at times. Again, we aren't going to get exactly what we once did, but then why try to recapture it at all?