u/Luckyjuly777

Today’s session was intense. When I sprayed, this time I feel like I really got it up there because I felt like water had just gone up my nose. When I put my eye mask on I felt the world around me fall away and suddenly I was transported elsewhere. I didn’t feel like I was in that room and on that chair anymore. It was so weird. I felt really relaxed and calm finally. This is the type of session I wish I had every time, but I think I’ve only ever felt it one other time. Just wanted to share.

It’s day 0 again. I craved it, I searched for the “hidden” bong in the shed and easily found it. (My husband smokes). It has made it incredibly hard to quit. I felt great as soon as I smoked, which is what I’ve experienced only one or two other times since relapsing. Every other time, I’ve made myself sick from binge eating and I become very depressed.

I immediately felt the feeling I was looking for when I smoked, and it hit me like a ton of bricks tonight. I felt at ease, I felt content, and I felt acceptance and forgiveness. I understood what it was that I had been chasing…

I have been trying to get sober from weed for about 6 months now. It’s been hell. I know it was hell before, but at least I felt happy and more carefree. My husband, the IOP program I entered back in November, and my doctors all told me to stop smoking weed. I had been a pothead for 15+ years. They especially encouraged it after I developed 2 separate, week long bouts of CHS that put me in the hospital. I was told the only way to cure it was to stop smoking weed. Everyone thought it was making me more depressed, which it always did after the high wore off, often the next day.

So why does weed give me that feeling I have been chasing during this sobriety, and why can’t I feel it without weed?

This has been my most difficult challenge in getting sober. I remember the days when I felt like I functioned on weed. I remember the days I was happy and had a job. I remember the days I laughed more and enjoyed life more. I miss that version of me.

Unfortunately this feeling I’ve been chasing only manifests for the first few hours of being high. It doesn’t stay. Feeling sick and depressed every time are the consequences I deal with when the high wears off. It’s a difficult trade to make, but it’s why I keep chasing it and why I keep failing.

I wish I could feel this good sober.

I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s and started taking NP Thyroid July 31. I’m also being treated for treatment resistant depression and anxiety and take Lexapro (started in March). I do Spravato (esketamine) treatments twice a week and have been doing them since April. I have felt no difference and am still feeling awful. I am tired all the time and sleep excessively. I never feel like doing anything and am always at home, mostly in bed. I have very poor appetite. I’m working on getting a job, but I haven’t been able to work because of my poor health for a few years now. When can I expect to feel better? Is NP Thyroid a good medication? How long does it take to work? Is anyone else experiencing depression like this?

I am still depressed and chronically fatigued. My doctor hasn’t made any changes, and I am still on Lexapro 20mg daily. I’m also being treated for Hashimoto’s. I don’t know whether I should give the Spravato more time or not, but I’ve been doing it twice a week and I haven’t noticed any changes. I’m not sure what to do or how to proceed with my treat resistant depression.

Asking about girls specifically (exposed midriffs, cleavage, short shorts)?

This is a coparenting situation. Parents are divorced and girls live in two different homes with 2 stepparents. This occurred nearly three weeks ago. We had a coparenting meeting where we (mom, dad, and stepparents) sat down as a team to talk to the girls about their behavior. The girls have been displaying good behavior since the incidents, have been completely open and honest about what occurred, and even confessed to/volunteered information about other things they had done. They have been basically on lockdown in both homes and have shown remorse, seem depressed and isolated.

Ages: 13, 15, 17

The incidents: Sneaking out of mom’s house to buy alcohol from a boy that they snuck into the house in the middle of the night and trying to lie about it

Consequences: loss of phones, no friends/activities, no driving

First question: should they be given an end date or duration to their grounding?

Second question: based on these incidents, how long do you think the grounding should last?

Third question: What should be done if both parents don’t agree on how long they should be grounded for? One parent is not wishing to tell them when they will have their phones back. Both parents agree that when phones go back there will be tougher restrictions.

Fourth question: is it acceptable for one home to make exceptions such as driving only for work (with AirTag) and allowing a single activity after nearly 3 weeks of good behavior? What if the other home attacks/objects about this?

Fifth question: should stepparents have a say in this or be dragged into group conversations, or should the bio parents deal with issues or disagreements themselves? The teens often feel frustrated with the stepdad who is enforcing rules and taunting the girls about what occurred, while showing favoritism towards his own two children, and stepmom cares about maintaining a good relationship with them built on empathy and trust. The stepdad also sends group messages attacking the dad on his decisions/ is voicing disagreement with him. Stepmom likes to stay out of the drama, but supports dad in his decisions.

I have some questions:

What places in Plano are hiring office support staff, like administrative assistants or receptionists? I have been applying on job boards for a while, and have tried school districts and Plano.gov. My background is in administration and education, but I haven’t worked since 2024 so there is a sabbatical on my resume. I have been applying and interviewing for months with no luck.

What places in Plano are in most need of volunteers right now?

What are some good ways to spend your time when you are unemployed (not at home)?

Thank you for any leads.

SDs13,15,17 are grounded currently for lying, drinking, and sneaking out of the house. They were also caught sneaking a boy into BM’s house in the middle of the night. We currently have their phones confiscated, and BM is asking me, not my husband, to go through the phones.

How do I respectfully tell BM that I don’t feel comfortable doing this? It’s like reading someone’s diary. It doesn’t feel right. I care about my relationship with my SKs and just don’t feel right about violating their privacy like that.

How should I handle this?

I talked to my therapist for the very first time last week about this. I haven’t mentioned an eating disorder to any therapist in my life. I’m 38 years old. I’m starting to feel like I have an ED. I don’t eat anything all day until dinner time, and that’s when I have my first full meal. I don’t eat anything else after 9pm. I’m always fasting. I do fear gaining weight. I don’t exercise and hate doing so, so this is how I try to prevent gain. My hair is falling out in chunks when I wash my hair, and I have heavy anxiety all the time. I struggle with depression as well. I take vitamins and am on Lexapro and do Spravato as well twice per week. My therapist told me to start thinking of food as fuel, but this feels like a habit I’m doing intentionally to myself. Sometimes, like today, I don’t eat because it didn’t even occur to me that I’m hungry. I also hate cooking and I hate going to the store for food, so I often avoid having to think about it until it’s time to make dinner for my husband and 3 teen daughters.

I have a lot of self loathing going on and this habit is self destructive. Just looking for support.

We just got back from a meeting at their house. All 4 parents (BM, stepdad, my husband, me), sat down with our 3 teen girls (17, 15, 13), to talk about the fact they snuck a boy into the house last night who they were buying alcohol from. They were all in on this together and are sharing responsibility.

My husband and I went into their closet here at our house and found an alcohol stash in there. They were apparently drinking while they were having a sleepover with a friend here at our house too. They were stealing hard seltzers from our garage fridge, and we found more that they said they got from the boy. We should have been more watchful and kept better tabs on them.

I can’t express the level of anxiety and disappointment, mixed with guilt that I am feeling right now. Guilt because they were our responsibility and we should have been more watchful, and the other feelings mainly because I feel we cannot trust them anymore. I feel guilt for having alcohol in our fridge accesible to them, and that we didn’t count the cans to make sure they weren’t taking any.

17 year old has lost driving privileges and they have all lost their phones as a consequence. We’ll be keeping closer tabs on them from now on.

They got a lecture from all of us, but I’m not sure that they’re sorry or that something like this won’t happen again. I feel so overwhelmingly sad about their deception. They so easily lied to all of us, that I don’t think I can believe anything they tell me now.

My husband was talking to them about their moral compass, and making choices based on it, but it’s so sad that I don’t think they have developed strong morals and I also feel like that’s on us as parents too. I don’t think they were sorry, just sorry they got caught.

It feels like we failed them. Idk why. It’s just a really shitty, shameful feeling. I hope they learn from this experience, but I’m doubtful. I just have a bad feeling that this is just the beginning of many years of getting into trouble. I hope I’m wrong, but the feeling is strong.

When I first started I would have great sessions. Lately I don’t feel anything happening. I feel it draining down my throat like it’s not all reaching my brain maybe… idk. I administer at a 45 degree angle and try to really push it back up my nose each time towards my brain. I have tried waiting 5 minutes in between, 3 min in between, 1 min in between, and I have tried doing them back to back. I’ve also tried hanging my head upside down (forward) and plugging my nose. Nothing works anymore to get me that old slightly trippy feeling I used to feel. I have only disassociated once. I’m just wondering if I developed a tolerance and it just isn’t working anymore.

We have been together for 8 years and have been married for nearly 4. 3 girls, ages 13, 15, 17. He is 41 and I am 38. We have them every other weekend and for a month in the summer (currently).

I’m tired of him treating me like he is the director and I am the manager in this marriage. I flag things to him about my SDs, and he gets frustrated that he has to address it with them himself (because it’s my issue, not his) instead of me just taking care of it for him. I explained that it’s his biological kids, and that it’s his job to parent them. He gets defensive and frustrated, especially when he feels he’s already handled it. If I try to handle it minimally, he complains that I’m not doing it right and tries to “teach me” or get me to “learn” how to do things. I point out that he would get upset with me if I handled things my way instead of considering his feelings on the matter, and I also tell him I’m frustrated that we can’t communicate without him getting this way, but we just end up in a big disagreement and I’m always the one in the wrong.

I really feel like my marriage is disintegrating. I don’t know that we will make it. I love him, but I’m terribly unhappy when it comes to his kids.

I’m (38) losing my mind. We have possession of my 3 SDs (17, 15, 13) for a whole month and still have a few weeks to go. They don’t help out around the house. Their rooms are a total wreck, and they leave dishes piled up in the sink instead of helping me empty the dishwasher, which I end up doing on a daily basis. They leave stuff everywhere and I’m always cleaning up after them because I hate seeing a mess.

Last Saturday, DH (41) took point in telling the girls that it would be “Operation: Room Rescue”, which would be a 4 hour time block dedicated to cleaning their rooms. He wanted me and him to get involved helping them with this task. He got all of us out of bed that morning and knocked obnoxiously on our 13 yr old’s door, very loudly and repeatedly until she physically got out of bed to open the door. I woke up in a terrible mood and with an awful headache after all of this ruckus. I was frustrated because I believe at their ages they are responsible enough to do this independently, with us being able to check off their work.

When I told him this, he got very frustrated with me and basically gave up. The girls have a checklist I had printed off years ago and they are tacked onto their bedroom walls, so I told them they should know exactly what to do, just like they’ve known for years. They are not little kids anymore. I told him I would take it from here, since he had clearly wanted no more part in it because I “overrode” him and gave him pushback on us helping them out when we shouldn’t have to. I gave the girls an additional checklist to follow for the day and they all agreed to follow it.

Since I wasn’t feeling well, I went to go lay down. When I got up, they said they had reached a stopping point and were going to take a break to eat lunch. I went out to walk the dog and during that time my husband had apparently told them he checked off on the rooms and they were finished. I came back, and clearly not everything on the checklist was done, so I was quite irritated. They said they would finish the job later in the week.

Here’s the thing that’s most frustrating and complicated about this situation. There are only 2 bedrooms. 1 of them has a bunk bed. The other has a full size bed. One girl gets a turn in the solo room every six months. They switch off, which means 2 girls have to switch dressers. So part of the job that was supposed to happen last week was that they were supposed to switch the dressers and go through clothes to donate. DH had apparently told them that it’s fine, that they could switch later on in the week. This was not what I had agreed to. So he basically just told them everything was fine, when in my opinion it wasn’t.

So our 17 year old has a job and the girls kept making plans with friends, so I was having frequent conversations with them trying to coordinate when they would finish this job. I decided I would get involved in helping them this time, so that the job actually got done. My husband could not help because he had work, which is fine. I’m the one who cares most about this. So yesterday we found some time and I started helping them. And omg they were so lazy and they were fighting and arguing with each other. It was a nightmare. We got a lot done, but I still couldn’t get everything off the floor because of clutter so that I could vacuum. It was 10:30 at night by the time I called it quits.

They all agreed to finish the job tomorrow, because the oldest doesn’t have work. They were supposed to stay at our house so they could get up early to do the job. But they had their cousin’s birthday party which turned into a sleepover, which my husband allowed.

So I asked him to please ask the girls when they are coming back tomorrow because they have to finish their rooms. He started getting onto me about how I should be the one to ask them and delegate, to which I finally lost my patience and raised my voice in front of our 17 year old. I said, “I have been and they’re not listening to me!” I could feel myself angry so I walked away into the bedroom and shut the door.

I then got an angry text from him saying he didn’t appreciate my yelling at him in front of our kid, and that he was still unhappy about me “overriding” the 4 hour block of time that he committed everyone to work on their rooms last week.

I got so mad at this point. I explained that I raised my voice because I’ve been doing exactly what he is suggesting, that I delegate and set expectations with the girls. That I had been doing it for days, and they aren’t listening to me. I said now I have to be strict and mean, which is not the type of stepmom relationship I want with them.

I laid out consequences for the girls if they don’t finish the job when they come back from their sleepover. I said if they don’t do it, they won’t be going out with friends, they won’t be going out to see the World Cup, and they won’t have any sleepovers. I said that my expectation is for that checklist to be complete before they leave the house for work or any activities from now on, and that they need to help me keep the kitchen clean. I said I had enough with excuses and giving me the runaround, and that I’m putting my foot down. I said they need to respect our home just like they do at their bio mom’s because I know for a fact that she makes them keep their rooms clean and sets more consequences than I do.

DH continues to be mad at me. I apologized for raising my voice and tried to explain myself. I asked him why he is the only one allowed to get angry and lose his temper in our marriage, and why I have to be the subservient wife that isn’t ever allowed to lose her composure. He has lost his cool with me more times than I can count in our marriage, even in front of the girls, so the one time I do it and it wasn’t even that bad, he shuts down on me.

He just reiterated that he’s not happy with me, that he’s had an exhausting day, and that he’s tired of dealing with drama.

I’m so overwhelmed and so frustrated in this marriage and with these girls. I wish that DH and I were more of a team, and I get that he’s mad, but I wish he would understand my perspective and step up more. I wish I didn’t have to be the bad guy and I wish he would take care of setting consequences and expectations with HIS kids. I also feel so disrespected because I know they don’t act this way at their BM’s. Why are they like this at ours?

But no more of this. I’m done being nice. And I don’t care if my husband is unhappy. He can deal with it. This is my home.

I’m (38) losing my mind. We have possession of my 3 SDs (17, 15, 13) for a whole month and still have a few weeks to go. They don’t help out around the house. Their rooms are a total wreck, and they leave dishes piled up in the sink instead of helping me empty the dishwasher, which I end up doing on a daily basis. They leave stuff everywhere and I’m always cleaning up after them because I hate seeing a mess.

Last Saturday, DH (41) took point in telling the girls that it would be “Operation: Room Rescue”, which would be a 4 hour time block dedicated to cleaning their rooms. He wanted me and him to get involved helping them with this task. He got all of us out of bed that morning and knocked obnoxiously on our 13 yr old’s door, very loudly and repeatedly until she physically got out of bed to open the door. I woke up in a terrible mood and with an awful headache after all of this ruckus. I was frustrated because I believe at their ages they are responsible enough to do this independently, with us being able to check off their work.

When I told him this, he got very frustrated with me and basically gave up. The girls have a checklist I had printed off years ago and they are tacked onto their bedroom walls, so I told them they should know exactly what to do, just like they’ve known for years. They are not little kids anymore. I told him I would take it from here, since he had clearly wanted no more part in it because I “overrode” him and gave him pushback on us helping them out when we shouldn’t have to. I gave the girls an additional checklist to follow for the day and they all agreed to follow it.

Since I wasn’t feeling well, I went to go lay down. When I got up, they said they had reached a stopping point and were going to take a break to eat lunch. I went out to walk the dog and during that time my husband had apparently told them he checked off on the rooms and they were finished. I came back, and clearly not everything on the checklist was done, so I was quite irritated. They said they would finish the job later in the week.

Here’s the thing that’s most frustrating and complicated about this situation. There are only 2 bedrooms. 1 of them has a bunk bed. The other has a full size bed. One girl gets a turn in the solo room every six months. They switch off, which means 2 girls have to switch dressers. So part of the job that was supposed to happen last week was that they were supposed to switch the dressers and go through clothes to donate. DH had apparently told them that it’s fine, that they could switch later on in the week. This was not what I had agreed to. So he basically just told them everything was fine, when in my opinion it wasn’t.

So our 17 year old has a job and the girls kept making plans with friends, so I was having frequent conversations with them trying to coordinate when they would finish this job. I decided I would get involved in helping them this time, so that the job actually got done. My husband could not help because he had work, which is fine. I’m the one who cares most about this. So yesterday we found some time and I started helping them. And omg they were so lazy and they were fighting and arguing with each other. It was a nightmare. We got a lot done, but I still couldn’t get everything off the floor because of clutter so that I could vacuum. It was 10:30 at night by the time I called it quits.

They all agreed to finish the job tomorrow, because the oldest doesn’t have work. They were supposed to stay at our house so they could get up early to do the job. But they had their cousin’s birthday party which turned into a sleepover, which my husband allowed.

So I asked him to please ask the girls when they are coming back tomorrow because they have to finish their rooms. He started getting onto me about how I should be the one to ask them and delegate, to which I finally lost my patience and raised my voice in front of our 17 year old. I said, “I have been and they’re not listening to me!” I could feel myself angry so I walked away into the bedroom and shut the door.

I then got an angry text from him saying he didn’t appreciate my yelling at him in front of our kid, and that he was still unhappy about me “overriding” the 4 hour block of time that he committed everyone to work on their rooms last week.

I got so mad at this point. I explained that I raised my voice because I’ve been doing exactly what he is suggesting, that I delegate and set expectations with the girls. That I had been doing it for days, and they aren’t listening to me. I said now I have to be strict and mean, which is not the type of stepmom relationship I want with them.

I laid out consequences for the girls if they don’t finish the job when they come back from their sleepover. I said if they don’t do it, they won’t be going out with friends, they won’t be going out to see the World Cup, and they won’t have any sleepovers. I said that my expectation is for that checklist to be complete before they leave the house for work or any activities from now on, and that they need to help me keep the kitchen clean. I said I had enough with excuses and giving me the runaround, and that I’m putting my foot down. I said they need to respect our home just like they do at their bio mom’s because I know for a fact that she makes them keep their rooms clean and sets more consequences than I do.

DH continues to be mad at me. I apologized for raising my voice and tried to explain myself. I asked him why he is the only one allowed to get angry and lose his temper in our marriage, and why I have to be the subservient wife that isn’t ever allowed to lose her composure. He has lost his cool with me more times than I can count in our marriage, even in front of the girls, so the one time I do it and it wasn’t even that bad, he shuts down on me.

He just reiterated that he’s not happy with me, that he’s had an exhausting day, and that he’s tired of dealing with drama.

I’m so overwhelmed and so frustrated in this marriage and with these girls. I wish that DH and I were more of a team, and I get that he’s mad, but I wish he would understand my perspective and step up more. I wish I didn’t have to be the bad guy and I wish he would take care of setting consequences and expectations with HIS kids. I also feel so disrespected because I know they don’t act this way at their BM’s. Why are they like this at ours?

But no more of this. I’m done being nice. And I don’t care if my husband is unhappy. He can deal with it. This is my home.

I have attempted to apply for a library services representative job many times, and each time my application is rejected and I am never called for an interview. I have plenty of background and experience in administrative assistance, education, and customer service. I am wondering how strict they are when it comes to the “having your license suspended” portion of the application. Mine was suspended in 2016 and I’ve had a clean driving record since, with 0 citations in the last 10 years. I explain that in my application when they ask me to explain, but I’m worried that’s the reason my application is consistently overlooked. Does anyone out there work for Plano Libraries and can shed some light?

I’m so tired of feeling this way. I just turned 38 6 days ago. I have treatment resistant MDD with chronic fatigue/tiredness and feel like I spend my whole life mostly in bed. I’ve been on Lexapro 20mg since March. It feels like a dark cloud over me constantly. It’s emotionally exhausting to feel this way on a daily basis.

I went to my PCP and he ordered blood work. I had it drawn today. I’m actually hoping something terrible is wrong with me for some reason. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a form of SI? I honestly am just so tired of living like this and not feeling any relief from meds and therapy. It’s been decades of feeling this way since I was 12 years old.

I’ve tried 6 rounds of TMS and started Spravato (esketamine) in May, but still feeling this way. I’ve already passed my induction phase and had to remain on twice per week for longer. I don’t feel like it’s doing anything for me. My therapist is doing EMDR with me and we meet weekly.

I hope something is wrong with my blood work so they can actually fix me instead of continuing to feel awful every day. Or maybe I’ll have a terminal disease and get to check out of life early.

I’m so tired of feeling this way. I just turned 38 6 days ago. I have treatment resistant MDD with chronic fatigue/tiredness and feel like I spend my whole life mostly in bed. I’ve been on Lexapro 20mg since March. It feels like a dark cloud over me constantly. It’s emotionally exhausting to feel this way on a daily basis.

I went to my PCP and he ordered blood work. I had it drawn today. I’m actually hoping something terrible is wrong with me for some reason. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s a form of SI? I honestly am just so tired of living like this and not feeling any relief from meds and therapy. It’s been decades of feeling this way since I was 12 years old.

I’ve tried 6 rounds of TMS and started Spravato (esketamine) in May, but still feeling this way.

I hope something is wrong with me so they can actually fix me instead of continuing to feel awful every day. Or maybe I’ll have a terminal disease and get to check out of life early.