u/Maleficent_Sock_8851

I'm a man in his 30s. I just started a new job in a multinational firm April 2026 after my six year job in a law firm. Basically I went from paralegal tasks managing, drafting and filing technical and legal documents to administrative work basically just entering details and documents in the computer system.

I made it clear during the start of my work that I am introverted but I enjoy other people's company from time to time. The daily tasks are awfully repetitive so I wear earphones and listen to something to engage my mind in and to really focus. It doesn't help that the office of my current work is small and open shared space where I can see and hear people around me. And did I mention these people talk a lot and really intro random ass conversations and banter. I used to do hybrid work while the law firm has their own cubicles per employee.

Most of the time, I eat alone separately from the team because that's what I'm used to from my previous job. I tried joining them from time to time but I always ended up just eating my lunch there quietly listening to whatever the team are talking about and they don't stop ever talking. Not once did they ever ask me anything or show some semblance of interest. I know I should speak and I don't know how to enter the conversation if everything keeps talking and seems to have a bond. From that day on, I decided to just eat alone at the sole table in the pantry while they eat in the other room.

I tried joining them and talking during some downtime conversations at the office but they act like I'm a buzz kill whenever I talk. I can feel the ice on how they respond to me. Whenever I speak or say something, I always get cold responses, the vibe of the conversation changes, or conversation stops. There some few people that approached to talk to me but mostly work related stuff or if there's no other people around. It seems that if you don't match their social wavelength, you are pretty much outcasted. The office has a bunch of newbies for the past months including me... I was the only one that hasn't integrated with that team yet.

What's even worse, one early morning at the office, one of my coworkers told me that the team has been talking and gossiping about me that I'm "stuck up", "standoffish", and "I'm not a team player" because I always wear my earphones at work, not talking to them much, and don't ever join them for lunch and even get snacks that they bought for the team. Also it was mentioned I don't ask questions to them. She also said they will report my behavior to the team leader.

How am I supposed to join their conversation if they are already in the middle of it, I have work to do, and when I speak you practically no reaction or acknowledgement? The pair of earphones is just my only cope to drown out the office noise and not get get distracted because I can literally hear all the noise in the office and they won't shut up. I just nodded and accepted and acknowledged whatever she said without any reaction but deep down I stings a bit. They took issue on my personality. I know the gossip is unfounded the but the days after that rumor reached me, their demeanor towards me really confirms it.

I usually don't care if people have issues with my introversion but I see these people five times a week. It's really hard to ignore the contrast of them laughing and being friendly to each other and the way they act towards me. My introversion and how I act was never an issue on my previous jobs and people still find ways to include me in their circle. My first job in a call center, which is notoriously extroverted adopts me and adapted to my personality until I became comfortable joining them in the conversations and banters and jokes even outside work. At my six year job at the law firm, none of my coworkers or lawyers there took issue on my introversion. I even have a core friend group I go trips and travel with and I go along week with people from different departments and I still have connection to them to this day. This work is different and I'm basically an outcast of the team. Now the mid probation review with the HR and team leader is approaching, I have a hunch that this may be brought up.

At this point I stopped trying to be buddy buddy with them altogether. I'm still cordial to them but that's about it. Deep down I started resenting them which I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself feeling this way because I have never been treated like this despite my lack of social engagement with people.

Right now I'm already looking for different job and I am already interviewed for one. I don't think I'll thrive there not because of the social dynamics, but also the lack of engaging work and tasks and no possibilities of any professional growth there.

Sometimes I think I should've tried socializing with them even harder. How do I approach this in a healthy and civil way?

I'm a man in his 30s. I just started a new job in a multinational firm April 2026 after my six year job in a law firm. Basically I went from paralegal tasks managing, drafting and filing technical and legal documents to administrative work basically just entering details and documents in the computer system.

I made it clear during the start of my work that I am introverted but I enjoy other people's company from time to time. The daily tasks are awfully repetitive so I wear earphones and listen to something to engage my mind in and to really focus. It doesn't help that the office of my current work is small and open shared space where I can see and hear people around me. And did I mention these people talk a lot and really intro random ass conversations and banter. I used to do hybrid work while the law firm has their own cubicles per employee.

Most of the time, I eat alone separately from the team because that's what I'm used to from my previous job. I tried joining them from time to time but I always ended up just eating my lunch there quietly listening to whatever the team are talking about and they don't stop ever talking. Not once did they ever ask me anything or show some semblance of interest. I know I should speak and I don't know how to enter the conversation if everything keeps talking and seems to have a bond. From that day on, I decided to just eat alone at the sole table in the pantry while they eat in the other room.

I tried joining them and talking during some downtime conversations at the office but they act like I'm a buzz kill whenever I talk. I can feel the ice on how they respond to me. Whenever I speak or say something, I always get cold responses, the vibe of the conversation changes, or conversation stops. There some few people that approached to talk to me but mostly work related stuff or if there's no other people around. It seems that if you don't match their social wavelength, you are pretty much outcasted. The office has a bunch of newbies for the past months including me... I was the only one that hasn't integrated with that team yet.

What's even worse, one early morning at the office, one of my coworkers told me that the team has been talking and gossiping about me that I'm "stuck up", "standoffish", and "I'm not a team player" because I always wear my earphones at work, not talking to them much, and don't ever join them for lunch and even get snacks that they bought for the team. Also it was mentioned I don't ask questions to them. She also said they will report my behavior to the team leader.

How am I supposed to join their conversation if they are already in the middle of it, I have work to do, and when I speak you practically no reaction or acknowledgement? The pair of earphones is just my only cope to drown out the office noise and not get get distracted because I can literally hear all the noise in the office and they won't shut up. I just nodded and accepted and acknowledged whatever she said without any reaction but deep down I stings a bit. They took issue on my personality. I know the gossip is unfounded the but the days after that rumor reached me, their demeanor towards me really confirms it.

I usually don't care if people have issues with my introversion but I see these people five times a week. It's really hard to ignore the contrast of them laughing and being friendly to each other and the way they act towards me. My introversion and how I act was never an issue on my previous jobs and people still find ways to include me in their circle. My first job in a call center, which is notoriously extroverted adopts me and adapted to my personality until I became comfortable joining them in the conversations and banters and jokes even outside work. At my six year job at the law firm, none of my coworkers or lawyers there took issue on my introversion. I even have a core friend group I go trips and travel with and I go along week with people from different departments and I still have connection to them to this day. This work is different and I'm basically an outcast of the team. Now the mid probation review with the HR and team leader is approaching, I have a hunch that this may be brought up.

At this point I stopped trying to be buddy buddy with them altogether. I'm still cordial to them but that's about it. Deep down I started resenting them which I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself feeling this way because I have never been treated like this despite my lack of social engagement with people.

Right now I'm already looking for different job and I am already interviewed for one. I don't think I'll thrive there not because of the social dynamics, but also the lack of engaging work and tasks and no possibilities of any professional growth there.

Sometimes I think I should've tried socializing with them even harder. How do I approach this in a healthy and civil way?

I've been working as an IP Paralegal and a registered engineerl in a law firm for six years and I just resigned and switched jobs last April 2026 to a multinational firm. I've drafted, filed, and prosecuted patents and not only that, my experience extends to trademarks, designs, and copyrights. You could say I have experienced in most types of IP. I decided to resign from the job since I realized that I already reached my peak from that job for a long time, my last raise was on 2023, and my boss seems to have an obvious favoritism, he pretty much didn't care about me and it was even more obvious when he went cold towards me by the finals days on that job and I didn't even get a final interview unlike people who preceded me.

Now going back to my current job, I've only been working there for four months but I feel like I'm already working there for five years. The job title looks more impressive that it really is. All I do whole day is data entry. I just enter details and information of the client's IP portfolio to their system. That is just 5% of what I've been doing for the past six years. I remembered when I got interviewed by the former managing director (who resigned while I was still rendering service from my previous job), he went over my CV and repeatedly asked me during the two interviews if I'm ok with the job. I was desperate to look for a different job at the time and I just said, I can always find a compromise if the job is mostly data entry and docketing. I should've taken that as a warning because here I am, went from actually engaged in IP to a glorified cog in a machine. Don't get me wrong, some people would love to have this kind of job, some people may prefer repetitive jobs but not me. I can't see any sense of what I'm doing. To cope with the monotony of the job, I wear earphones and listen to something.

The nature of the job is one thing, the office and the social dynamics are another. The office is an open shared space. As someone who is admittedly an introverted person and preferring deep focus at work, my social battery could only get me until lunch time. My social battery is power saver mode by the afternoon and all I think about is going home.

During my early days there I tried joining them at lunch which I don't usually do even with my previous job(s) but since I'm in this more social setting coming from hybrid work. And the times I joined them at lunch, their conversation won't bend towards me, I'm just there sitting and eating while listening to all the noise so I just went back to eating alone and separated from the rest of the team which shouldn't be an issue. I tried from time to time and I just the same all the time so eating lunch alone it is from now on. I also noticed that if don't match their wavelength, you are pretty much an outcast. All these people talk a lot and friendly... to each other or whoever barges themselves to their circle. I tried to join them at conversations and casual conversations, but I don't know whenever I speak their demeanor always go dry and cold and the whole conversation either shifted, I got spoken over, or the conversation just stopped. Even fellow newbies won't even talk to me.

One day a coworker/fellow newbie told me that I was a topic of a conversation one time and they told me I am "unsocial" and "standoffish" and may report me to the team leader because of my behavior. At first, I'm having a hard time taking her word seriously since I don't have time for gossip since I'm there to work. But as the time went on, I noticed the between me and the team starting to grow. Even the person sitting beside my table never talked to me since the day he started and he only ever talked to another one. My table is located surrounded by these people who are friendly and talking to each other so just imagine my everyday just sitting there listening to them talk. Also when the team leader went to our office and had a one on one interview to the newbies, I told her about my introversion and if that is something on an issue in the company or if there's something I can do to integrate more with the team, she can let me know. She assured me that none has ever commented or gave a report to her about my behavior and I was able to accomplish the tasks on time and properly. She also told me that if I'm not comfortable eating with the team or just joining them in any social events, I'm not forced to and it will not be an issue.

I always wonder why this was a thing unlike my previous jobs. My first job is at a BPO company and you know, they are notorious talkers and sometimes having "kanal" humor but then they always include me. At my law firm, I have my own social circle there which I went on travelling with and I get along just fine with people from different departments. This new job, I don't know. The contrast between their talkativeness and loudness and the way they interact and see me is glaring. The only people who initiated a conversation with me there is the office custodian and a couple of senior members which talk about basically work-related stuff.

This also tied back to my interview when the former manager asked me "How do I deal with gossip?" To which I replied, "I don't care about those unless it's something that will ruin my reputation". I don't know if I'm reading too much but these questions starting to make sense.

Everything is so wrong with my current job. Yeah I know I'm only four months in and still under probation but I already have my one foot out that door. I just don't see any future with this job especially the senior team revealed that there is no more point of promotion and no higher position of tenure. Also I can only do monotonous tasks for so long. I'm already starting looking for another opportunity or job more suited to my experience and long term career goals.

All I have to do right now is to suck it all up until I find a new opportunity to start over again. But then I'm open to any suggestions I can do to survive until I find a new opportunity

I've been working as an IP Paralega and a registered engineerl in a law firm for six years and I just resigned and switched jobs last April 2026 to a multinational firm. I've drafted, filed, and prosecuted patents and not only that, my experience extends to trademarks, designs, and copyrights. You could say I have experienced in most types of IP. I decided to resign from the job since I realized that I already reached my peak from that job for a long time, my last raise was on 2023, and my boss seems to have an obvious favoritism, he pretty much didn't care about me and it was even more obvious when he went cold towards me by the finals days on that job and I didn't even get a final interview unlike people who preceded me.

Now going back to my current job, I've only been working there for four months but I feel like I'm already working there for five years. The job title looks more impressive that it really is. All I do whole day is data entry. I just enter details and information of the client's IP portfolio to their system. That is just 5% of what I've been doing for the past six years. I remembered when I got interviewed by the former managing director (who resigned while I was still rendering service from my previous job), he went over my CV and repeatedly asked me during the two interviews if I'm ok with the job. I was desperate to look for a different job at the time and I just said, I can always find a compromise if the job is mostly data entry and docketing. I should've taken that as a warning because here I am, went from actually engaged in IP to a glorified cog in a machine. Don't get me wrong, some people would love to have this kind of job, some people may prefer repetitive jobs but not me. I can't see any sense of what I'm doing. To cope with the monotony of the job, I wear earphones and listen to something.

The nature of the job is one thing, the office and the social dynamics are another. The office is an open shared space. As someone who is admittedly an introverted person and preferring deep focus at work, my social battery could only get me until lunch time. My social battery is power saver mode by the afternoon and all I think about is going home.

During my early days there I tried joining them at lunch which I don't usually do even with my previous job(s) but since I'm in this more social setting coming from hybrid work. And the times I joined them at lunch, their conversation won't bend towards me, I'm just there sitting and eating while listening to all the noise so I just went back to eating alone and separated from the rest of the team which shouldn't be an issue. I tried from time to time and I just the same all the time so eating lunch alone it is from now on. I also noticed that if don't match their wavelength, you are pretty much an outcast. All these people talk a lot and friendly... to each other or whoever barges themselves to their circle. I tried to join them at conversations and casual conversations, but I don't know whenever I speak their demeanor always go dry and cold and the whole conversation either shifted, I got spoken over, or the conversation just stopped. Even fellow newbies won't even talk to me.

One day a coworker/fellow newbie told me that I was a topic of a conversation one time and they told me I am "unsocial" and "standoffish" and may report me to the team leader because of my behavior. At first, I'm having a hard time taking her word seriously since I don't have time for gossip since I'm there to work. But as the time went on, I noticed the between me and the team starting to grow. Even the person sitting beside my table never talked to me since the day he started and he only ever talked to another one. My table is located surrounded by these people who are friendly and talking to each other so just imagine my everyday just sitting there listening to them talk. Also when the team leader went to our office and had a one on one interview to the newbies, I told her about my introversion and if that is something on an issue in the company or if there's something I can do to integrate more with the team, she can let me know. She assured me that none has ever commented or gave a report to her about my behavior and I was able to accomplish the tasks on time and properly. She also told me that if I'm not comfortable eating with the team or just joining them in any social events, I'm not forced to and it will not be an issue.

I always wonder why this was a thing unlike my previous jobs. My first job is at a BPO company and you know, they are notorious talkers and sometimes having "kanal" humor but then they always include me. At my law firm, I have my own social circle there which I went on travelling with and I get along just fine with people from different departments. This new job, I don't know. The contrast between their talkativeness and loudness and the way they interact and see me is glaring. The only people who initiated a conversation with me there is the office custodian and a couple of senior members which talk about basically work-related stuff.

This also tied back to my interview when the former manager asked me "How do I deal with gossip?" To which I replied, "I don't care about those unless it's something that will ruin my reputation". I don't know if I'm reading too much but these questions starting to make sense.

Everything is so wrong with my current job. Yeah I know I'm only four months in and still under probation but I already have my one foot out that door. I just don't see any future with this job especially the senior team revealed that there is no more point of promotion and no higher position of tenure. Also I can only do monotonous tasks for so long. I'm already starting looking for another opportunity or job more suited to my experience and long term career goals.

All I have to do right now is to suck it all up until I find a new opportunity to start over again.

I've been working as an IP Paralega and a registered engineerl in a law firm for six years and I just resigned and switched jobs last April 2026 to a multinational firm. I've drafted, filed, and prosecuted patents and not only that, my experience extends to trademarks, designs, and copyrights. You could say I have experienced in most types of IP. I decided to resign from the job since I realized that I already reached my peak from that job for a long time, my last raise was on 2023, and my boss seems to have an obvious favoritism, he pretty much didn't care about me and it was even more obvious when he went cold towards me by the finals days on that job and I didn't even get a final interview unlike people who preceded me.

Now going back to my current job, I've only been working there for four months but I feel like I'm already working there for five years. The job title looks more impressive that it really is. All I do whole day is data entry. I just enter details and information of the client's IP portfolio to their system. That is just 5% of what I've been doing for the past six years. I remembered when I got interviewed by the former managing director (who resigned while I was still rendering service from my previous job), he went over my CV and repeatedly asked me during the two interviews if I'm ok with the job. I was desperate to look for a different job at the time and I just said, I can always find a compromise if the job is mostly data entry and docketing. I should've taken that as a warning because here I am, went from actually engaged in IP to a glorified cog in a machine. Don't get me wrong, some people would love to have this kind of job, some people may prefer repetitive jobs but not me. I can't see any sense of what I'm doing. To cope with the monotony of the job, I wear earphones and listen to something.

The nature of the job is one thing, the office and the social dynamics are another. The office is an open shared space. As someone who is admittedly an introverted person and preferring deep focus at work, my social battery could only get me until lunch time. My social battery is power saver mode by the afternoon and all I think about is going home.

During my early days there I tried joining them at lunch which I don't usually do even with my previous job(s) but since I'm in this more social setting coming from hybrid work. And the times I joined them at lunch, their conversation won't bend towards me, I'm just there sitting and eating while listening to all the noise so I just went back to eating alone and separated from the rest of the team which shouldn't be an issue. I tried from time to time and I just the same all the time so eating lunch alone it is from now on. I also noticed that if don't match their wavelength, you are pretty much an outcast. All these people talk a lot and friendly... to each other or whoever barges themselves to their circle. I tried to join them at conversations and casual conversations, but I don't know whenever I speak their demeanor always go dry and cold and the whole conversation either shifted, I got spoken over, or the conversation just stopped. Even fellow newbies won't even talk to me.

One day a coworker/fellow newbie told me that I was a topic of a conversation one time and they told me I am "unsocial" and "standoffish" and may report me to the team leader because of my behavior. At first, I'm having a hard time taking her word seriously since I don't have time for gossip since I'm there to work. But as the time went on, I noticed the between me and the team starting to grow. Even the person sitting beside my table never talked to me since the day he started and he only ever talked to another one. My table is located surrounded by these people who are friendly and talking to each other so just imagine my everyday just sitting there listening to them talk. Also when the team leader went to our office and had a one on one interview to the newbies, I told her about my introversion and if that is something on an issue in the company or if there's something I can do to integrate more with the team, she can let me know. She assured me that none has ever commented or gave a report to her about my behavior and I was able to accomplish the tasks on time and properly. She also told me that if I'm not comfortable eating with the team or just joining them in any social events, I'm not forced to and it will not be an issue.

I always wonder why this was a thing unlike my previous jobs. My first job is at a BPO company and you know, they are notorious talkers and sometimes having "kanal" humor but then they always include me. At my law firm, I have my own social circle there which I went on travelling with and I get along just fine with people from different departments. This new job, I don't know. The contrast between their talkativeness and loudness and the way they interact and see me is glaring. The only people who initiated a conversation with me there is the office custodian and a couple of senior members which talk about basically work-related stuff.

This also tied back to my interview when the former manager asked me "How do I deal with gossip?" To which I replied, "I don't care about those unless it's something that will ruin my reputation". I don't know if I'm reading too much but these questions starting to make sense.

Everything is so wrong with my current job. Yeah I know I'm only four months in and still under probation but I already have my one foot out that door. I just don't see any future with this job especially the senior team revealed that there is no more point of promotion and no higher position of tenure. Also I can only do monotonous tasks for so long. I'm already starting looking for another opportunity or job more suited to my experience and long term career goals.

Right now, any pieces of advice on how to move forward from here and survive is highly appreciated.

I'm 31M. I don't know what kind of sick joke life has beI don't know what where to go from here or what to look forward to: I'm just so tired of everything and existing just to suffercome for me. The past three months has been really rough. Just saying it "rough" may not be too much for some people, but for me the term is an understatement. I don't know where to go forward, how to move on, how to carry on, and how to fight because life just blows and blows for the past months for me. Here are some of the things happened since April:

1. Before I resigned from my previous job, my partner of five years decided to part ways from our "relationship". We are both men and I can't make us official since I'm still not fully out to my family. I can't because they have a bit of an expectation and I still live at the same house and can't be fully free. He just decided to end things because I never gave our relationship an "official status" because of me. I've told that once I'm settled with life, I can make us official. I never got settled and it just ended there.

2. Black Saturday, I was playing badminton then just one game I twisted my dominant ankle so bad I got a grade 2 ankle sprain. It was swollen and I wasn't able to walk for a week and I have to force myself to walk to my new work since I only have one week rest from my resignation to my old job to the new job which is just a bit slightly higher pay than my previous. That's the only opportunity I have for now. Going back. I wasn't able to play for about three months and I just recently returned playing and my games got worse.

3. Second week of the new job, I feel victim of a text scam that I stupidly thought was a legit rewards redemption that costed me couple of hundreds of thousands through my cc. Although I blocked the card, it was totally my fault since it has OTP which I stupidly gave. My entire emergency fund got wiped out after paying the entire thing at once. I tried disputing it despite already knowing I will lose.

4. I got laid off of my part time remote job of one year for a US-based lawyer due to business being slow and has nothing to do with my performance as per that client. I am supposed to be reliant to that part time job to replenish what I lost from the scam but even that got taken away too.

5. Weeks working at the job, people there seems to alienate me due to me being mostly keeping to myself as an introverted person. I never got integrated with that team yet. I can't match their social battery and wavelength and now I'm hearing rumors that they might raise concern with the management due to my "standoffish" behavior which is the last thing I want to save my only remaining source of income for now.

6. This Sunday, my phone got stolen from me while boarding the bus from a badminton game. My main number was there and I have to go to another process of replacement. I still have my backup phone. The phone I lost may not be iphone or any flagship Android phone but considering the financial woes i've dealt with the previous months, that's the last thing that I need.

7. I'm still have some cc debts I need to settle and I don't know where to get that since I don't have emergency fund anymore.

All these happened in a span of three months. I am ready for anyone that may judge and call me a clown. I've called myself worse everyday for even. I can't even cry anymore because every two months I'm breaking just thinking about these and trying to hold it in at work and even at home because people and my family May ask what's wrong. I'm trying to brush it off and appear everything is going well but it slowly eating me from the inside. I'm trying to be strong for how long? At this point I'm always bracing myself for whatever bad thing May happen again this time. I don't want to live with this level of vigilance and turbulence while trying to maintain composure just to survive at work and home. I don't even know how to react with these things anymore. I can't even cry and breakdown. My family is very unreliable when opening to them. The last time I did I just met with a "you lack faith" or "you should've done this...".

The thoughts of unaliving has been lingering my thoughts for these past couple of months. I'm tired. I'm tired being resilient. I'm tired seeing people my age and peers getting their life together while me I'm just "surviving" for the past years of my life. I'm trying everything I can to live the life and be a stable adult, but I think I already peaked and it's all downhill form here.

I'm no longer looking forward for the future but somehow I need to live. Despite all these, somehow I need to exist. I don't want to be a person who known who "ended it all because he wussed out life/he gave up". But right now it's really hard. These thoughts have been lingering in my head for years, now it just keep piling and piling. I want to it to end but I can't just give up. I'm still trying to make sense of my life. How to move forward from this?

I'm 31M. I don't know what kind of sick joke life has become for me. The past three months has been really rough. Just saying it "rough" may not be too much for some people, but for me the term is an understatement. I don't know where to go forward, how to move on, how to carry on, and how to fight because life just blows and blows for the past months for me. Here are some of the things happened since April:

1. Before I resigned from my previous job, my partner of five years decided to part ways from our "relationship". We are both men and I can't make us official since I'm still not fully out to my family. I can't because they have a bit of an expectation and I still live at the same house and can't be fully free. He just decided to end things because I never gave our relationship an "official status" because of me. I've told that once I'm settled with life, I can make us official. I never got settled and it just ended there.

2. Black Saturday, I was playing badminton then just one game I twisted my dominant ankle so bad I got a grade 2 ankle sprain. It was swollen and I wasn't able to walk for a week and I have to force myself to walk to my new work since I only have one week rest from my resignation to my old job to the new job which is just a bit slightly higher pay than my previous. That's the only opportunity I have for now. Going back. I wasn't able to play for about three months and I just recently returned playing and my games got worse.

3. Second week of the new job, I feel victim of a text scam that I stupidly thought was a legit rewards redemption that costed me couple of hundreds of thousands through my cc. Although I blocked the card, it was totally my fault since it has OTP which I stupidly gave. My entire emergency fund got wiped out after paying the entire thing at once. I tried disputing it despite already knowing I will lose.

4. I got laid off of my part time remote job of one year for a US-based lawyer due to business being slow and has nothing to do with my performance as per that client. I am supposed to be reliant to that part time job to replenish what I lost from the scam but even that got taken away too.

5. Weeks working at the job, people there seems to alienate me due to me being mostly keeping to myself as an introverted person. I never got integrated with that team yet. I can't match their social battery and wavelength and now I'm hearing rumors that they might raise concern with the management due to my "standoffish" behavior which is the last thing I want to save my only remaining source of income for now.

6. This Sunday, my phone got stolen from me while boarding the bus from a badminton game. My main number was there and I have to go to another process of replacement. I still have my backup phone. The phone I lost may not be iphone or any flagship Android phone but considering the financial woes i've dealt with the previous months, that's the last thing that I need.

7. I'm still have some cc debts I need to settle and I don't know where to get that since I don't have emergency fund anymore.

All these happened in a span of three months. I am ready for anyone that may judge and call me a clown. I've called myself worse everyday for even. I can't even cry anymore because every two months I'm breaking just thinking about these and trying to hold it in at work and even at home because people and my family May ask what's wrong. I'm trying to brush it off and appear everything is going well but it slowly eating me from the inside. I'm trying to be strong for how long? At this point I'm always bracing myself for whatever bad thing May happen again this time. I don't want to live with this level of vigilance and turbulence while trying to maintain composure just to survive at work and home. I don't even know how to react with these things anymore. I can't even cry and breakdown. My family is very unreliable when opening to them. The last time I did I just met with a "you lack faith" or "you should've done this...".

The thoughts of unaliving has been lingering my thoughts for these past couple of months. I'm tired. I'm tired being resilient. I'm tired seeing people my age and peers getting their life together while me I'm just "surviving" for the past years of my life. I'm trying everything I can to live the life and be a stable adult, but I think I already peaked and it's all downhill form here.

I'm no longer looking forward for the future but somehow I need to live. When will these end? What's next? I don't know where to go from here. I really close to snapping and just ending it all.

I'm 31M. I don't know what kind of sick joke life has become for me. The past three months has been really rough. Just saying it "rough" may not be too much for some people, but for me the term is an understatement. I don't know where to go forward, how to move on, how to carry on, and how to fight because life just blows and blows for the past months for me. Here are some of the things happened since April:

1. Before I resigned from my previous job, my partner of five years decided to part ways from our "relationship". We are both men and I can't make us official since I'm still not fully out to my family. I can't because they have a bit of an expectation and I still live at the same house and can't be fully free. He just decided to end things because I never gave our relationship an "official status" because of me. I've told that once I'm settled with life, I can make us official. I never got settled and it just ended there.

2. Black Saturday, I was playing badminton then just one game I twisted my dominant ankle so bad I got a grade 2 ankle sprain. It was swollen and I wasn't able to walk for a week and I have to force myself to walk to my new work since I only have one week rest from my resignation to my old job to the new job which is just a bit slightly higher pay than my previous. That's the only opportunity I have for now. Going back. I wasn't able to play for about three months and I just recently returned playing and my games got worse.

3. Second week of the new job, I feel victim of a text scam that I stupidly thought was a legit rewards redemption that costed me couple of hundreds of thousands through my cc. Although I blocked the card, it was totally my fault since it has OTP which I stupidly gave. My entire emergency fund got wiped out after paying the entire thing at once. I tried disputing it despite already knowing I will lose.

4. I got laid off of my part time remote job of one year for a US-based lawyer due to business being slow and has nothing to do with my performance as per that client. I am supposed to be reliant to that part time job to replenish what I lost from the scam but even that got taken away too.

5. Weeks working at the job, people there seems to alienate me due to me being mostly keeping to myself as an introverted person. I never got integrated with that team yet. I can't match their social battery and wavelength and now I'm hearing rumors that they might raise concern with the management due to my "standoffish" behavior which is the last thing I want to save my only remaining source of income for now.

6. This Sunday, my phone got stolen from me while boarding the bus from a badminton game. My main number was there and I have to go to another process of replacement. I still have my backup phone. The phone I lost may not be iphone or any flagship Android phone but considering the financial woes i've dealt with the previous months, that's the last thing that I need.

7. I'm still have some cc debts I need to settle and I don't know where to get that since I don't have emergency fund anymore.

All these happened in a span of three months. I am ready for anyone that may judge and call me a clown. I've called myself worse everyday for even. I can't even cry anymore because every two months I'm breaking just thinking about these and trying to hold it in at work and even at home because people and my family May ask what's wrong. I'm trying to brush it off and appear everything is going well but it slowly eating me from the inside. I'm trying to be strong for how long? At this point I'm always bracing myself for whatever bad thing May happen again this time. I don't want to live with this level of vigilance and turbulence while trying to maintain composure just to survive at work and home. I don't even know how to react with these things anymore. I can't even cry and breakdown. My family is very unreliable when opening to them. The last time I did I just met with a "you lack faith" or "you should've done this...".

The thoughts of unaliving has been lingering my thoughts for these past couple of months. I'm tired. I'm tired being resilient. I'm tired seeing people my age and peers getting their life together while me I'm just "surviving" for the past years of my life. I'm trying everything I can to live the life and be a stable adult, but I think I already peaked and it's all downhill form here.

I'm no longer looking forward for the future but somehow I need to live. When will these end? What's next? I don't know where to go from here. I really close to snapping and just ending it all.

I'm 31M. I don't know what kind of sick joke life has become for me. The past three months has been really rough. Just saying it "rough" may not be too much for some people, but for me the term is an understatement. I don't know where to go forward, how to move on, how to carry on, and how to fight because life just blows and blows for the past months for me. Here are some of the things happened since April:

1. Before I resigned from my previous job, my partner of five years decided to part ways from our "relationship". We are both men and I can't make us official since I'm still not fully out to my family. I can't because they have a bit of an expectation and I still live at the same house and can't be fully free. He just decided to end things because I never gave our relationship an "official status" because of me. I've told that once I'm settled with life, I can make us official. I never got settled and it just ended there.

2. Black Saturday, I was playing badminton then just one game I twisted my dominant ankle so bad I got a grade 2 ankle sprain. It was swollen and I wasn't able to walk for a week and I have to force myself to walk to my new work since I only have one week rest from my resignation to my old job to the new job which is just a bit slightly higher pay than my previous. That's the only opportunity I have for now. Going back. I wasn't able to play for about three months and I just recently returned playing and my games got worse.

3. Second week of the new job, I feel victim of a text scam that I stupidly thought was a legit rewards redemption that costed me couple of hundreds of thousands through my cc. Although I blocked the card, it was totally my fault since it has OTP which I stupidly gave. My entire emergency fund got wiped out after paying the entire thing at once. I tried disputing it despite already knowing I will lose.

4. I got laid off of my part time remote job of one year for a US-based lawyer due to business being slow and has nothing to do with my performance as per that client. I am supposed to be reliant to that part time job to replenish what I lost from the scam but even that got taken away too.

5. Weeks working at the job, people there seems to alienate me due to me being mostly keeping to myself as an introverted person. I never got integrated with that team yet. I can't match their social battery and wavelength and now I'm hearing rumors that they might raise concern with the management due to my "standoffish" behavior which is the last thing I want to save my only remaining source of income for now.

6. This Sunday, my phone got stolen from me while boarding the bus from a badminton game. My main number was there and I have to go to another process of replacement. I still have my backup phone. The phone I lost may not be iphone or any flagship Android phone but considering the financial woes i've dealt with the previous months, that's the last thing that I need.

7. I'm still have some cc debts I need to settle and I don't know where to get that since I don't have emergency fund anymore.

All these happened in a span of three months. I am ready for anyone that may judge and call me a clown. I've called myself worse everyday for even. I can't even cry anymore because every two months I'm breaking just thinking about these and trying to hold it in at work and even at home because people and my family May ask what's wrong. I'm trying to brush it off and appear everything is going well but it slowly eating me from the inside. I'm trying to be strong for how long? At this point I'm always bracing myself for whatever bad thing May happen again this time. I don't want to live with this level of vigilance and turbulence while trying to maintain composure just to survive at work and home. I don't even know how to react with these things anymore. I can't even cry and breakdown. My family is very unreliable when opening to them. The last time I did I just met with a "you lack faith" or "you should've done this...".

The thoughts of unaliving has been lingering my thoughts for these past couple of months. I'm tired. I'm tired being resilient. I'm tired seeing people my age and peers getting their life together while me I'm just "surviving" for the past years of my life. I'm trying everything I can to live the life and be a stable adult, but I think I already peaked and it's all downhill form here.

I'm no longer looking forward for the future but somehow I need to live. When will these end? What's next? I don't know where to go from here. I really close to snapping and just ending it all.