u/OoofDragon_playZ

I was born in India. But raised in USA in my core developmental years until age 7. So my personality/identity's base was kinda westernised and english at that time. After coming to India, I never got used to our local language and culture at all (Tamil). It just felt deeply uncomfortable adopting Tamil culture and I couldn't explain exactly why. I think as soon as I returned to India, I might have been forced by others into speaking the language at that time, or outcasted for my westernised mannerisms or something, not fully sure but it made me very uncomfortable with Tamil society overall at the time. Furthermore our mother tongue and family ancestry is a different language too (which I have no issues speaking in, but it's not used where I live) so when I returned, it only felt more alienating because everyone was speaking in a seemingly foreign language that wasn't my mother tongue. As I felt really uncomfortable with local culture, I isolated myself from it and spent a lot of my remaining early childhood only consuming westernised media and hanging out with people who spoke in english. Which means that I grew up only in English spaces even after age 7, which gradually made my entire personality lean western and globalised. Throughout school, I had a friend group who were only english speaking and had shared interests with, and I hadn't engaged with our local culture at all.

College started last year, and it's totally different. I'm a creative and imaginative person. Very expressive with others and love to authentically unleash my life force as much as possible. I was looking forward to college to find my people and make a shit ton of great memories. BUT there's not even a single person who is a third culture individual like me. Everyone bonds, makes friends and banters exclusively in Tamil. And it stings because I know there's nothing wrong with them and it's a me problem. What hurts the most is that my college is objectively more prestigious than my school and even globally inclined, and everyone is fluent in English, but still runs on Tamil. Everyone else defaults to speaking in Tamil in their friend groups and individually switch to English with me alone. It feels personally and deeply excluding. Not just the language, but everything most people bond around like culture and media, is Tamil, which once again I have to iterate, there's nothing wrong with them but it hurts me. I feel so ignored and invisible. People just tell me "Just speak in Tamil", "What's your problem you've been living in Chennai for 10 years" "Few years in USA is nothing" "You just want to be different from others, stop thinking so and get along with Tamilians" and doesn't understand my situation. Like I am NOT trying to be superior to tamil or hate on it. I just dont feel comfortable in it, like it's not a part of my identity at all, but I'm forced into it because I'm in a position where I can't move/drop out right now. I can understand the language enough to speak it with strangers and for mundane duties, but I feel really uncomfortable using it to mingle with people that I know.

Everyone else around me is enjoying college. I desperately feel like I would've had a way better experience if I was in some actual global university with english speakers. Like I'm forced to confront this third culture part of my identity, which is already rare to find in people here, and it's making me an absolute outcast. I'm insanely paranoid that I'm missing out on the most major social experience I would ever get in my entire lifetime. People always assume that I have alot of friends and a great experience in college because of my typical nature. Every single time, I have to lie to them and agree, because the truth is so complicated to explain.

I was born in India. But raised in USA in my core developmental years until age 7. So my personality/identity's base was kinda westernised and english at that time. After coming to India, I never got used to our local language and culture at all (Tamil). It just felt deeply uncomfortable adopting Tamil culture and I couldn't explain exactly why (maybe at the time I hated other things about the city like the education system/rigidity, but at a young immature age I took it out on the whole culture). Furthermore our mother tongue and family ancestry is a different language too (which I have no issues speaking in, but it's not used where I live) so when I returned, I felt more alienated because everyone was speaking in a seemingly foreign language that wasn't my mother tongue. As I felt really uncomfortable with local culture, I isolated myself from it and spent a lot of my remaining early childhood only consuming westernised media and hanging out with people who spoke in english. So my entire personality gradually grew totally westernised and global-leaning. Throughout school, I had a friend group who were only english speaking and had shared interests with, and I hadn't engaged with our local culture at all.

College started last year, and it's totally different. I'm a creative and imaginative person. Very expressive with others and love to authentically unleash my life force as much as possible. I was looking forward to college to find my people and make a shit ton of great memories. BUT there's not even a single person who is a third culture individual like me. Everyone bonds, makes friends and banters exclusively in Tamil. And it stings because I know there's nothing wrong with them and it's a me problem. What hurts the most is that my college is objectively more prestigious than my school and even globally inclined, and everyone is fluent in English, but still runs on Tamil. Everyone else defaults to speaking in Tamil in their friend groups and individually switch to English with me alone. It feels personally and deeply excluding. Not just the language, but everything most people bond around like culture and media, is Tamil, which once again I have to iterate, there's nothing wrong with them but it hurts me. I feel so ignored and invisible. People just tell me "Just speak in Tamil", "What's your problem you've been living in Chennai for 10 years" "Few years in USA is nothing" "You just want to be different from others, stop thinking so and get along with Tamilians" and doesn't understand my situation. Like I am NOT trying to be superior to tamil or hate on it. I just dont feel comfortable in it, like it's not a part of my identity at all, but I'm forced into it because I'm in a position where I can't move/drop out right now. I can understand the language enough to speak it with strangers and for mundane duties, but I feel really uncomfortable using it to mingle with people that I know.

Everyone else around me is enjoying college. I desperately feel like I would've had a way better experience if I was in some actual global university with english speakers. Like I'm forced to confront this third culture part of my identity, which is already rare to find in people here, and it's making me an absolute outcast. I'm insanely paranoid that I'm missing out on the most major social experience I would ever get in my entire lifetime. People always assume that I have alot of friends and a great experience in college because of my typical nature. Every single time, I have to lie to them and agree, because the truth is so complicated to explain.

I was born in India. But raised in USA in my core developmental years until age 7. So my personality/identity's base was kinda westernised and english at that time. After coming to India, I never got used to our local language and culture at all (Tamil). It just felt deeply uncomfortable adopting Tamil culture and I couldn't explain exactly why (maybe at the time I hated other things about the city like the education system/rigidity, but at a young immature age I took it out on the whole culture). Furthermore our mother tongue and family ancestry is a different language too (which I have no issues speaking in, but it's not used where I live) so when I returned, I felt more alienated because everyone was speaking in a seemingly foreign language that wasn't my mother tongue. As I felt really uncomfortable with local culture, I isolated myself from it and spent a lot of my remaining early childhood only consuming westernised media and hanging out with people who spoke in english. So my entire personality gradually grew totally westernised and global-leaning. Throughout school, I had a friend group who were only english speaking and had shared interests with, and I hadn't engaged with our local culture at all.

College started last year, and it's totally different. I'm a creative and imaginative person. Very expressive with others and love to authentically unleash my life force as much as possible. I was looking forward to college to find my people and make a shit ton of great memories. BUT there's not even a single person who is a third culture individual like me. Everyone bonds, makes friends and banters exclusively in Tamil. And it stings because I know there's nothing wrong with them and it's a me problem. What hurts the most is that my college is objectively more prestigious than my school and even globally inclined, and everyone is fluent in English, but still runs on Tamil. Everyone else defaults to speaking in Tamil in their friend groups and individually switch to English with me alone. It feels personally and deeply excluding. Not just the language, but everything most people bond around like culture and media, is Tamil, which once again I have to iterate, there's nothing wrong with them but it hurts me. I feel so ignored and invisible. People just tell me "Just speak in Tamil", "What's your problem you've been living in Chennai for 10 years" "Few years in USA is nothing" "You just want to be different from others, stop thinking so and get along with Tamilians" and doesn't understand my situation. Like I am NOT trying to be superior to tamil or hate on it. I just dont feel comfortable in it, like it's not a part of my identity at all, but I'm forced into it because I'm in a position where I can't move/drop out right now. I can understand the language enough to speak it with strangers and for mundane duties, but I feel really uncomfortable using it to mingle with people that I know.

Everyone else around me is enjoying college. I desperately feel like I would've had a way better experience if I was in some actual global university with english speakers. Like I'm forced to confront this third culture part of my identity, which is already rare to find in people here, and it's making me an absolute outcast. I'm insanely paranoid that I'm missing out on the most major social experience I would ever get in my entire lifetime. People always assume that I have alot of friends and a great experience in college because of my typical nature. Every single time, I have to lie to them and agree, because the truth is so complicated to explain.

I was born in India. But raised in USA in my core developmental years until age 7 (yes I know it's early, but somehow my development was fast enough and alot of memories had formed by then + culture shock). So my entire personality, values, interests all lean western and English. After returning back, I never got used to our local language and culture at all (Tamil). It just felt deeply uncomfortable adopting Tamil culture and I couldn't explain exactly why. In school, atleast I could find a couple other people who were entirely english speakers, so I spent all my time with them and isolated myself from locals.

College started last year, and it's totally different. I'm a creative and imaginative person. Very expressive with others and love to authentically unleash my life force as much as possible. I was looking forward to college to find my people and make a shit ton of great memories. BUT there's not even a single person who is a third culture individual like me. Everyone bonds, makes friends and banters exclusively in Tamil. What hurts the most is that my college is objectively more prestigious than my school and even globally inclined, and everyone is fluent in English, but still runs on Tamil. Everyone else defaults to speaking in Tamil in their friend groups and individually switch to English with me alone. It feels personally and deeply excluding. I feel so ignored and invisible. People just tell me "Just speak in Tamil", "What's your problem you've been living in Chennai for 10 years" "You just want to be different from others, stop thinking so and get along with Tamilians" and doesn't understand my situation. Like I am not trying to actively hate on my culture or anything, I just really don't feel part of it at all.

Everyone else around me is enjoying college. I desperately feel like I would've had a way better experience if I was in some actual global university with english speakers. Like I'm forced to confront this third culture part of my identity, which is already rare to find in people here, and it's making me an absolute outcast. I'm insanely paranoid that I'm missing out on the most major social experience I would ever get in my entire lifetime. People always assume that I have alot of friends and a great experience in college because of my typical nature. Every single time, I have to lie to them and agree, because the truth is so complicated to explain.

I know that I can find my people online on the internet, who share my interests and all. But unfortunately, some other things happened which is too complicated to explain, that has left me rock bottom in terms of skills and identity depth as well by now. So I'm basically stranded with no real friends now and have to build my identity from scratch without any support system.

I was born in India. But raised in USA in my core developmental years until age 7 (yes I know it's early, but somehow my development was fast enough and alot of memories had formed by then + culture shock). So my entire personality, values, interests all lean western and English. After returning back, I never got used to our local language and culture at all (Tamil). It just felt deeply uncomfortable adopting Tamil culture and I couldn't explain exactly why. In school, atleast I could find a couple other people who were entirely english speakers, so I spent all my time with them and isolated myself from locals.

College started last year, and it's totally different. I'm a creative and imaginative person. Very expressive with others and love to authentically unleash my life force as much as possible. I was looking forward to college to find my people and make a shit ton of great memories. BUT there's not even a single person who is a third culture individual like me. Everyone bonds, makes friends and banters exclusively in Tamil. What hurts the most is that my college is objectively more prestigious than my school and even globally inclined, and everyone is fluent in English, but still runs on Tamil. Everyone else defaults to speaking in Tamil in their friend groups and individually switch to English with me alone. It feels personally and deeply excluding. I feel so ignored and invisible. People just tell me "Just speak in Tamil", "What's your problem you've been living in Chennai for 10 years" "You just want to be different from others, stop thinking so and get along with Tamilians" and doesn't understand my situation. Like I am not trying to actively hate on my culture or anything, I just really don't feel part of it at all.

Everyone else around me is enjoying college. I desperately feel like I would've had a way better experience if I was in some actual global university with english speakers. Like I'm forced to confront this third culture part of my identity, which is already rare to find in people here, and it's making me an absolute outcast. I'm insanely paranoid that I'm missing out on the most major social experience I would ever get in my entire lifetime. People always assume that I have alot of friends and a great experience in college because of my typical nature. Every single time, I have to lie to them and agree, because the truth is so complicated to explain.

I know that I can find my people online on the internet, who share my interests and all. But unfortunately, some other things happened which is too complicated to explain, that has left me rock bottom in terms of skills and identity depth as well by now. So I'm basically stranded with no real friends now and have to build my identity from scratch without any support system.

I was born in India. But raised in USA in my core developmental years until age 7. So my entire personality, values, interests all lean western and English. After returning back, I never got used to our local language and culture at all (Tamil). It just felt deeply uncomfortable adopting Tamil culture and I couldn't explain exactly why. In school, atleast I could find a couple other people in a similar situation like me, so I coasted through without struggling much.

College started last year, and it's totally different. I'm a creative and imaginative person. Very expressive with others and love to authentically unleash my life force as much as possible. I was looking forward to college to find my people and make a shit ton of great memories. BUT there's not even a single person who is a third culture individual like me. Everyone bonds, makes friends and banters exclusively in Tamil. What hurts the most is that my college is objectively more prestigious than my school and even globally inclined, and everyone is fluent in English, but still runs on Tamil. Everyone else defaults to speaking in Tamil in their friend groups and individually switch to English with me alone. It feels personally and deeply excluding. I feel so ignored and invisible. People just tell me "Just speak in Tamil", "What's your problem you've been living in Chennai for 10 years" and doesn't understand my situation.

Everyone else around me is enjoying college. I desperately feel like I would've had a way better experience if I was in some actual global university with english speakers. Like I'm forced to confront this third culture part of my identity, which is already rare to find in people here, and it's making me an absolute outcast. I'm insanely paranoid that I'm missing out on the most major social experience I would ever get in my entire lifetime. People always assume that I have alot of friends and a great experience in college because of my typical nature. Every single time, I have to lie to them and agree, because the truth is so complicated to explain.

I know that I can find my people online on the internet, who share my interests and all. But unfortunately, some other things happened which is too complicated to explain, that has left me rock bottom in terms of skills and identity depth as well by now. So I'm basically stranded with no real friends now and have to build my identity from scratch without any support system.

I was born in India. But raised in USA in my core developmental years until age 7. So my entire personality, values, interests all lean western and English. After returning back, I never got used to our local language and culture at all (Tamil). It just felt deeply uncomfortable adopting Tamil culture and I couldn't explain exactly why. In school, atleast I could find a couple other expats to form friends with, so I coasted through.

College started last year, and it's totally different. I'm a creative and imaginative person. Very expressive with others and love to authentically unleash my life force as much as possible. I was looking forward to college to find my people and make a shit ton of great memories. BUT there's not even a single person who is a Third Culture Individual (TCI) like me. Everyone bonds, makes friends and banters exclusively in Tamil. What hurts the most is that my college is objectively more prestigious than my school and even globally inclined, and everyone is fluent in English, but still runs on Tamil. Everyone else defaults to speaking in Tamil in their friend groups and individually switch to English with me alone. It feels personally and deeply excluding. I feel so ignored and invisible. People just tell me "Just speak in Tamil", "What's your problem you've been living in Chennai for 10 years" and doesn't understand my situation.

Everyone else around me is enjoying college. I desperately feel like I would've had a way better experience if I was in some actual global university with english speakers. Like I'm forced to confront this third culture part of my identity, which is already rare to find in people here, and it's making me an absolute outcast. I'm insanely paranoid that I'm missing out on the most major social experience I would ever get in my entire lifetime. People always assume that I have alot of friends and a great experience in college because of my typical nature. Every single time, I have to lie to them and agree, because the truth is so complicated to explain.

I know that I can find my people online on the internet, who share my interests and all. But unfortunately, some other things happened which is too complicated to explain, that has left me rock bottom in terms of skills and identity depth as well by now. So I'm basically stranded with no real friends now and have to build my identity from scratch without any support system.