u/SimilarChampionship2

I keep having experiences with friendships where I’m the only one putting effort it. l have a partner but I’m feeling incredibly lonely friendship wise and I don’t understand why it’s so difficult. They just never reply or take weeks to months to reply to one message.

I already lost 2 friends because of this. One day they just didn’t reply and never bothered again. 1st one, she was always bad at replying and would apologise a lot for this, making plans was always a challenge with her but this got worse when she got a girlfriend, she asked to do something together like grab a drink or coffee because she missed me and I replied the same day, she then never messaged again and did not wish me happy bday a month later. Similar thing happened with the other one. Just stopped putting effort in.

I recently made a friend who’s my boyfriend’s friend’s girlfriend and we have so much in common, like the same things and are both immigrants from the same country. We hung out as a group a few times and just the two of us a couple times too. She’s shared with me a lot of personal stuff. Thing is she barely replies to me, I will send one message about a movie we wanted to see and she will take weeks to reply, while posting on instagram at the same time.

Like I’m not an overbearing friend, I got my own shit going on and don’t like messaging people all the time but I think once every 2-4 weeks is reasonable? It’s not like i’m trying to have an hour long conversation or anything, I’ll literally just share a post or ask about plans or just check in and thats it.

Friends matter to me and I would like them to be a part of my life whilst i’m a part of theirs but in this day and age it feels like living completely separate lives and then having a catch up session every few months of “this is what happened in my life wbu” which I understand some people prefer as life can be busy but…what’s the point of having a friend If i can’t reach you for months at a time. I can’t ask you for advice or help, I can’t share happy news with you because you won’t even open the message. It makes me feel horrible and lonely and it’s so incredibly hard to make friends in the first place.

EDIT: thanks for the responses guys. It’s reassuring that I’m not alone in feeling this way.

I have GAD which has beet getting worse so I went to my GP to ask about medication. I was on sertraline and fluoxetine before and it did nothing for my anxiety, just made me gain 25 kgs due to intense hunger and gave me IBS so I don’t really wanna go on it again but she said she wouldn’t prescribe anything else. I asked about Buspirone as I read the side effects are pretty mild and a lot of people mentioned it’s worked for them but she hasn’t even heard of it before. She looked it up and said no one really prescribes it. Guess I’m just gonna have go raw dog it then. I’m fed up of living like this.

Hi, I’m in the process of applying for this job and wanted to check if anyone’s done the job before or knows what it’s like?

I’m currently an AO in a different department that’s gone through restructuring and my job basically became a call centre type of role which I really dislike.

I’ve seen a few negative comments about working for HO and casework in general but haven’t seen anyone talk about what this specific job is actually like, especially at EO level.

I have so much shame it’s feels debilitating. I can’t leave any human interaction without feeling shame, everything I say, the way I speak, the way I look, the way my body moves, leaves me with feeling so ashamed and embarrassed. There isn’t a single environment where I don’t feel shame. I feel shame at work, around my family, around my boyfriend, around my bf’s family, with friends, alone. Even during sex, I feel so ashamed of having any desire. It feels so exhausting. I just feel so worthless and stupid and like everything I do is awkward. I’ve been avoiding work on busy days and working from home just to avoid interacting with people.

I am also hyper vigilant, always on edge, never able to relax. When I try to sleep at night, the feelings of shame get so intense I get nauseous. I get reminded of so many random memories and I play them over and over, I feel unable to stop. I don’t know how to cope anymore I’m just so tired. I don’t even wanna talk to my partner about this because I feel ashamed.

I came across this sub not long ago and have read quite a lot of posts. It’s mostly people looking for legal advice, employment advice or wives/girlfriends whose partner’s been arrested.

Now, I understand that you can be put on the sex offender registry for stuff like peeing in public. However, that seems like a small minority in that sub.

It seems majority of them have been arrested and charged with downloading CSAM, SA, rape of a minor etc.

I think what bothers me is the attitude in that sub, I get it’s a “support group” but it seems a lot of those people don’t really feel bad for what they’ve done. There’s this attitude of “we’ve all been there!” when it comes to CSAM and treating it as a victimless crime, I just find it shocking how many of those men downloaded and watched CSAM. They seem to blame porn addiction for this.

I’ve seen so many posts from wives, staying and supporting their husbands who have raped a child or downloaded and distributed CSAM then being upset that their community and friends have dropped them. Like? What did you expect? The whole thing is gross.

Would really appreciate some advice as this whole thing makes me want to cry honestly.

No matter what I do I always end up with red bumps and irritation. I can’t even get a smooth shave no matter how much I try, when I run my fingers along the skin I can still feel the stubble which makes intimacy uncomfortable at times. I’m also just embarrassed about all the irritation and bumps so can only have intimacy in the dark.

I tried shaving foam, shaving oil, exfoliating, expensive men’s razors etc and at this point I’m considering laser or IPL but both are quite expensive. If I shave today it will start growing back by next day and the stubble will be uncomfortable for about 3-4 days until it’s long enough to be fine. I have pretty dark hair and lots of it. I did consider trimming but I still need to shave bikini line and my butt crack and the stubble/bumps just make me feel embarrassed and unsexy.

Please help a girl out. What’s your go to tools/technique/products?

EDIT: ew why am I already getting creepy dms asking for pics I hate reddit

I (25f) have been only using condoms with my partner for the last 3 years but have been getting increasingly anxious about getting pregnant and so I’m considering other types of birth control.

I used to be on the Evra patch but it made me gain 55 pounds in a year and a half. I felt like I was just constantly starving. I’m back to my normal weight now (sadly with very saggy boobs) and I am anxious about gaining weight again.

I’d prefer non hormonal/minimal hormones and I’ve seen people recommend the copper coil but I am worried about my periods being heavy as the first 1-2 days of my period are already very heavy to the point I’m having to change my tampons every 2 hours.

I don’t mind using condoms and neither does my partner but I keep reading stories of people getting pregnant while using condoms and it’s been making me anxious lol

I know everyone’s body is different but would like to hear your recommendations.

TW: child abuse

This is a bit of a rant but I’m upset and just want to get it out as well as get other women’s opinions.

I hate how watching porn is just widely accepted as normal and even “healthy” meanwhile mainstream porn is full incest, violence, “barely legal” stuff with actresses that look younger than 18, women being fucked while “sleeping” etc. I feel like majority of porn just eroticises violence against women and girls and yet, women who are against porn and against their partners watching porn are seen as unreasonable and “controlling”. It’s almost impossible to have a productive discussion about porn with men. It’s like there’s a level of entitlement and the way they get defensive you’d think their rights are being taken away.

Today I came across a fucked up subreddit after clicking on the profile of someone who was being misogynistic. It was basically dad/daughter porn with 40,000 visitors weekly! What the fuck? I could never have kids with someone who watches that type of content. This isn’t the first fucked up sub I’ve seen either. There’s other depicting women as “just objects/holes” and ones where men share pictures of their wives/gfs and even daughters in underwear for other men to get off to. It’s getting to a point where the male sexuality repulses me. I am very aware it’s not all men watching this type of content but it already feels like too many. I think the main reason this is getting to me is the fact that my own uncle watched incest content and SA’d me as a child but I am not getting into that.

Even on a confession sub I saw a man describe how he went on the dark web out of curiosity as he likes “taboo” content and watched CP (just for a min) and got turned and couldn’t look away. He said it didn’t bother him. Other men in the comments were reassuring him that it’s normal as long as he doesn’t continue watching it. It was kinda of like “we’ve all been there” and no empathy whatsoever for the little girl being abused. I was shocked.

I have a friend who was in a 3 year long relationship with a man who seemed wonderful and so kind, we’d hang out every few months as a group. When me and her would talk about porn she said she didn’t mind if her partner watched it but she didn’t really want to know what he watches for “peace of mind”. She thought it’d be girls who are prettier or look completely different than her. Fast forward to less than a year later and she found porn on his phone that was mainly girls who look like teens, wearing child like clothes and even pacifiers as well as CNC/rape play porn. She broke up with him.

I am just so disgusted and feel like I can’t fully trust men.

Where do you stand on porn? Would you rather not know what your partner is watching?

I saw a post in a relationship advice subreddit from a woman whose fiancé told her that he gets erections from women in real life when they’re wearing fishnets or short skirts. This upset her, and when she told him that, he replied, “I just won’t tell you stuff anymore.”

What really baffled me, though, were the comments. Everyone agreed that this was normal, that men get erections all the time, that they can’t control it, and so on. Obviously, I know men can get random erections especially when they’re younger. I know that’s something they can’t control, but this is a grown man and they are not random.

I feel like this is another example of people gaslighting women instead of expecting men to take accountability for their own actions. If it’s getting to the point where a man is getting an erection in public because a woman in a short skirt walked past, it seems unlikely that he’s simply noticing her. To me, it suggests he’s staring, dwelling on it, or feeding the desire in his head. Why are we normalising this?

The same thing happens with porn. Every day there seems to be at least one post along the lines of, “My husband subscribes to OF,” or “My boyfriend jerks off to pictures of his coworker or friend, and it upsets me.” Then the comments call the woman controlling, insecure, or toxic for not being okay with it.

There’s also the classic line: “All men watch porn, deal with it.” That really frustrates me because
men say it’s wrong to generalise men, but then they turn around and say all men watch porn.
Not all men watch porn. Yet women who say their partners don’t are often told they’re naive or that their partners must be lying because apparently all men do it.

I find that ridiculous. Why are we acting as if men have no self-control? Why are they so often treated as though they’re entitled to behave like sex-obsessed creatures who objectify women, and everyone else just has to accept it? Why are women’s boundaries around porn and OF seen as unreasonable? Especially when the porn industry is so exploitative and you never know if it’s consensual. I personally know two women who got out of the industry and what they had to go through broke my heart and does play a part in why I don’t like porn (support sex workers though). Not to mention the amount of “barely legal” porn, incest and eroticisation of violence.

My partner of 5 years doesn’t watch it, because he views it as morally wrong and was never really into it. Yet when I say this, I get called stupid and naive for believing him because he “must” watch it.

Recently I’ve looked at a few discussions on different subs on whether being penetrated is a submissive act. There seems to be a consensus among many men (mostly redpill) that being penetrated is inherently submissive and often degrading. These men also view a man being pegged by a woman as submissive/degrading. There’s usually talks about biology and how men and women are different and it’s just natural for it to be that way. It didn’t really surprise me since I see/hear a lot of men talk about sex as something that’s done to a woman. I’ve looked at women’s responses and it looks like women mostly disagree and don’t view the act as submissive, but often vulnerable, which I agree it can be.

What do you think? Do you view the act as vulnerable? Do you think it’s misogynistic to view it how these men view it?

Does anyone else experience extreme fatigue on glyco? How do you manage it? I take 2mg before bed and 2mg in the morning. By 4pm I feel so tired it’s hard to function. Sometimes I can’t even keep my eyes open. I would love to have a coffee but it makes me sweat like crazy. I have whole body hyperhidrosis and glyco is the only thing that helps reduce it by like 50% so I don’t want to stop taking it but man it makes life hard. I’m 25 and have no energy to do anything it’s really annoying. I truly envy people who don’t have to worry about how much they sweat.