I’m 20 tbh my life is not going anywhere, shitty relationships with my parents
I feel my last resort to join marines or US Air Force just wanna know if any of you joined or someone joined how’s it’s different, knowing that it would change you and away from civilian lifestyles
I’m only 20 but my life is just constant toxicity and abusive behavior from my family especially my dad he would start yelling at everybody if he do something wrong and then blame me for something I never done
No friends nothing, no local support as I moved here 2-3 years ago and still somehow stuck on or moreso like why to me, on this girl who was my first ever relationship now is with somebody else after telling me she needs bit time and want to be serious with me but I was wrong wrong, now dating someone else for whole year like wow
Just can’t say to me that you don’t wanna with me but have full ability to choose someone else
And that emotional pain still within me, and my life is just going nowhere yes I’m studying, working but I just hate who this person I am. Can’t just move forward and leave this girl and that past and whatever unfairness back, can’t change my family dynamics yea I don’t matter to anybody
Can’t even move elsewhere it just too expensive
And it just overall just yea that’s why I’m thinking to join either marines or go for Air Force
Pretty much title
Just giving context met this girl when I moved here, only dated for like couple months broke up and it’s almost 2 years now I think, she found someone after 3-4 months of us breaking up and now they dating for a year now going strong still
I mean I guess if she found her happiness and man she looking for and we catched up like not too long ago and she told me she is not seeing anybody but she is with someone like weird
And I think she might feel bad of what she did but never really cleared it out and I don’t wanna ask her bcz all that disrespect and lies so far I have seen, I just don’t trust anymore
The reason we broke up was that at the time we dated she was hungover on her ex and it was just going a lot in our way and she broke up with me, told me that give her time she really wanna with me cool i thought and even after break up she kept giving those like false hopes
And I guess with time she just came to know she is not gonna do that and got with someone else and I hate myself for that I had false hopes still when she is with her bf, and she never cleared with me that she is with someone I mean she is not obligated to but I guess just out of respect if you still talking to me sometimes ( just in friendly manner )
Now I do not have any kind of hopes or wanna get back together but it just this unfair, frustrating like you put a lot of boundaries and rules on me now looking back it def looked like to put me distant while she figures it out
Anyway coming to current situation, I have problem of rumination, overthinking and still sometimes check her or her bf Insta tho I blocked them but that didn’t really stopped me from checking again and I hate it that I am still stuck over someone and just tryna make sense why she did choose someone while I was never toxic or anything like that ( yea sure he is just right person for her my emotions are not in sync with me logic )
I don’t have much local support circle so my first breakup and navigating a new country was all on me tbh and then I always have fear of running into her with her at mall or store or whatever since we live in relatively small city
And it’s my fault for not having strong boundaries or gut to tell her how much painful it is and was for me and also on me for not really changing my routines to keep my mind someone else
And I am not that attractive enough that other girls find me interesting or be attracted
I don’t even what I’m supposed to do, I just somehow wanna peace and came to terms and just move forward
I will keep it very short dated this girl only for couple months and then broke up 2 years ago reason she wasn’t sure and she was still hungover ex and still wanted to be serious with me
Me being dumbass clown still was respectful and she still would talk to me like “ I still wanna be with you or can’t believe we are fighting for each other “ BS by the time I had enough false hopes
She start dating somebody new and like wow you telling me you have audacity to tell me “ it’s not about you it’s me I’m mess give me bit time I can’t be serious but I wanna with you” to finding someone in 3 months after breakup and dating them for a year now and still going strong
And funny is that she would still text me sometimes and I jsut blocked her from everything like maybe 6-7 months ago if we run into each other person I try it keep bare brief or she would say if I hate her how I leave her text on delivered
I don’t wanna sound racist but like she would always be like oh I only date Asian guys not any other sounds good makes me feel important I guess and then the person is Latino ( I guess good for her tf )
And it makes me so personal at this point now I’m realizing that she kept all those rules and boundaries jsut keep me at distance?! And now all what I am seeing and hearing from others like all those shit rules just vanished in thin air
I’m going to gym tryna get my body back, but still hits hard lonely that I can’t seem to make good friend ( prolly bcz I tend over give ) and also upsets me like bro when I’m gonna find another girl ( idk where and how)
I don’t wanna sound desperate but I feel like I wanna just talk or casual dates with some girls just that I forgot my ex and what pained she caused me
Just the title if I add bit context it just where I live right now and unfortunately I can’t move or anything like that now, dated this girl long time broke up still having hard time moving on and
Whenever I am outside I would be so hyper vigilance and would feel that energy is consuming my mind whenever I see my ex car or something similar or her bf car
Like if I do some kind similar car I would be so triggered it feels actually I’m in fight or flight response and would sometimes will lose my appetite or feeling of throwing up, I hate it my mind is overdrive all the time whenever I’m outside and at this my world is just shrinking like wdym I have to go all this every day while them they just living their life
It’s makes me sad, disappointed on myself and so shitty emotionally I can’t put in words
I mean we can kinda see and agree many people childhood wasn’t the way it should have I mean at least in my case my parents were absent emotionally and mentally to me
And I grew up with anxious attached and sacristy mindset and I didn’t realized until I went through this breakup 2 years ago (18 at the time ) and still struggling to move on from it while my ex she is already with someone for whole year now ( sometimes it hit personally and it’s bit humiliating I guess to my emotions when it’s my turn to meet someone, then I would ruminate for days why it’s unfair blah blah don’t wanna go bore u guys)
But anyways I started going therapy for like 1.5 years ish but it failed and I am gonna go with somatic and EDMR therapy since my symptoms are getting worse;-;
So I wanted to know if people who actually came to aware of this and how you guys dealt with ?
so pretty much title i am going start working as receptionist department is urgent care so I am just hella nervous what to expect or what to be careful and how to learn things quickly obv with time and experience it will take time
I appreciate any advice or tips thanks tho I am going to be seasonal employee hopfully I get opportunity to switch part time or full time
Like yea I can do laundry every day and just increase my bill
Like yall fucking broke to not even one more shirt like cmon man AU has this billions of contract with this tech company
title pretty much living in the bay (20m) going to community college and a job on top of it ;-;
so far my experience is just people are really closed off and never went in high school as I moved from Texas , was just wondering how you guys dealt with it
Tho I try to go gym regularly but thats it
so I was just looking around which unis I can best chance or overall works for me
I live in bay there are def good unis here as I am attending CC, for me its like I want completely diff environment that I wanted to know how UCSD is for business program my ultimate goal is prolly get cpa and then get into some kind of management position. And I am taking all care of all my expenses as my parents dont make enough so I do hope aid somehow helps me out, are there any scholarships too that I can look into
And how does rent average goes on campus or off campus
thanks
So where I am gonna start working is tech site corporate tho they have bunch of other sites so it’s depends what’s the SOR I will get and usually have to from the base to the site where SOR is gonna happen
So far they told me walkthrough room, then let contractors who work in the room let them in and you have stand or sit to prolly just making sure everything is going good
And my shift is 5:30pm-5:30am and I never done this kinda of shifts at all
so just keep really I (20 M dated 19F) short dated for only couple months and broke up just typical "i am want to be you just give me some time i really love you and wanna be serious with you" and we still talked after the breakup and the moment i start having false hopes she got with someone and funny that they dating for a year now and wow like I was just not the right person just fucking say on my face rather than giving me those hopeful talks
anyways took a part of my soul to move on still moving on since for me it was first ever significant relationship and obv for her it was something to not make feel lonely I think
anyways i forgot i still followed her on Spotify and curiosity took over worst mistake saw a playlist for her and her bf and songs were pretty much like how ex ( me ) was toxic or never appreciated her and blah blah and now the girl is in love with man, all intimate songs, relationships and other things like that yes i shouldnt take these songs seriously but how she been disrespectful to me and lied things to me all this time ( blocked her from everything for like good months now ) and despite all that I still do care about her like just what the f is wrong with me
and honestly me anxious feeling pretty shitty rn like wow i never treated her with disrespect or toxic etc to her and more sad feelings that like she never just wanted to be serious with me and she has clear ability and confidence to be with someone after maybe couple months of breakup
I want to be mad and angry and hate her so she just doesnt comes to my mind but despite all I cant seem to do so and still have that some place for her and careness in my heart and she was prolly important person I met during my lowest times and then left me during the same time lol
so its in Cupertino never done any security in past, not sure where or how to clock in, then its start around 7am and from what they told me its part time position but during orientation its said flex officer talked to HR they said "oh still you gonna be apple site"
And do I have to talk to my direct manager about schedule ( hopefully get good hours and consistent schedule but I doubt it given AU reputation, already emailed my manager during orientation I am still serving my 2 weeks notice at my other job )
Hey everyone, just got a contingent offer from Kaiser Permanente for a Cashier Receptionist position in the Urgent Care department NorCal and they said at the time of interview it’s relative new department or they doing some changes
It’s a short hour temporary position at 18 hours a weekish . When I interviewed they mentioned the department is relatively new and there’s potential to grow into a permanent full time role based on seniority and it’s not eligible for any benefits it sucks but eh gotta start from somewhere
A few questions for anyone :
1. How long does the background check and onboarding process typically take? Like it does actually takes a month or it usually comes clear sooner
2. Is there actually any chance that it might turn into part or full time ? Though it’s all based on seniority and how’s the new specific department so I doubt it no one call really say anything about it
3. What’s the Urgent Care department like day to day for front desk/receptionist roles? What should I expect walking in?
4. Any tips for someone brand new to healthcare coming from a retail background and business admin student ;-;
And tbh I doubting myself that the big jump from current pay and not sure if I can work up to the standards
Thanks
So got job through AU at this big corporate tech site in Cupertino, any advices or tips it’s my first ever security job past I had retail experience and apparently I would get uniform at the site
Hopefully I get decent co-workers and management but seeing allied reputation I am kinda nervous tho
So I(20M) met this girl 2 years ago when I moved whole new different country things went serious and we dated and it was my first ever relationship but it didnt last too long we broke after 4 months of dating reason she had two feelings for 2 guys ( me and her ex situation ship which he still kept threaten with saying he willl k himself ) and I showed her I was serious about her but nope I think I only got used by her to help her with past baggage irony is that we work same store so I have to see her couple times a month and it would still fuck me up.
Anyways despite breaking up on good terms we still like would talk once in a while to catch up on things she would ask my relationship status and when I asked her same she said she is not seeing anyone at all. And me huge ass clown thought maybe I still have chance. Until one day I saw her being on call with someone and I could tell her from face is def some new guy when I asked her jokingly she said it her cousin like wow.
Apparently she met someone new from her other job after couple months we broke up I guess they start dating but whenever we catch up on things she would say yea she is single and she doesn't wanna be anyone and stuff I knew she is lying to me and they I guess stop talking briefly and she start being flirty and touchy with me though I had chance so I asked her out but got friendzoned so I blocked her from everything ( still is ) changed my hours didnt saw her for 4-5 months and irony is that she got with that guy ( now her bf ) after couple weeks me asking her out
And obv it made me so sad and upset like when I was showed I was serious about her and supporting and understanding she never fought for it and finally met her at work last month catched up on things same lies and stuff and then yestersay I got suggestion saw this guy account and it was her and her bf hugging each other and pretty much 1 year of dating or something
When I saw that pic it just my soul left my body, lost my appetite and threw up I knew she is dating but I though its prolly nothing serious or prolly not going be but oh boy I was damm wrong and the pic was taken at her house and that also felt unfair that we dated she told me not come near her house bcz her parents start tripping or smth so I respected that now that dude is at her house like wow so she only kept rules in our relationship just to keep me at distanced place and she can talk or used me whenever to get attention or validation
Now this all unfair that why when I was with her whole world was against me her family didnt liked me just bcz I just freshly moved here and now hearing from others and seeing their relationship it literally seems like everything went their favor and it feels my whole life here is going against me when I try to make friends everyone just is too busy or doesnt wanna go or just straight up ghost my text and my relationship with my parents is so shit that it makes me like what's point even living ???
And it still hurts me to this day all this anger frustration and sadness building upon me it just consuming me tried taking therapy but its only been helpful at the moment then everything this comes back even with smallest trigger
like why all this unfair and against me like I wasnt asshole to her or toxic to her or I did not done anything wrong to anyone then all this
I'm a guy in my early 20s and I'm honestly struggling with something that feels ridiculous at this point.
About two years ago, I moved to the U.S. and shortly after got into my first relationship. We only dated for around 4 months, but the breakup hit me much harder than I expected.
After the breakup, we'd occasionally catch up and stay somewhat friendly. During that time she met someone but she would tell me she was single and wasn't interested in dating anyone so she was just lying. At one point she became more friendly and affectionate again ( bcz they stop talking for briefly that’s what’s she told me maybe she forgot she was lying to me that she was single but she was not ) , so I took a chance and asked her out. I got friend-zoned, so I decided to block her and move on. I changed my work hours, kept my distance, and didn't see her for several months.
A few weeks later me asking her out, I found out she is now dating that same guy from another workplace. They've now been together for about a year.
The problem is that I recently saw a picture of them together. I already knew she had a boyfriend, but seeing them hugging, looking serious, and apparently spending time at her house hit me way harder lost my appetite and threw up. During our relationship, she never wanted me around her house because of family concerns, and I respected that. Seeing another guy welcomed into parts of her life that I never got access to like why its got so unfair to me feels like I only got used for attention, past baggage and cultural validation
What really gets me is the sense of unfairness. When we were together, it felt like there were obstacles everywhere. Her family didn't approve just bcz I just moved here, she seemed unsure about the relationship, and I always felt like I was fighting an uphill battle. Now from the outside it looks like everything worked out for her and her current boyfriend.
At the same time, my own life has felt pretty lonely. I work, study, go to the gym, and that's about it. I don't have many close friends here, my relationship with my family is shit, and I often feel like everyone else has a support system while I'm doing everything alone like I am trying so hard to make friends ask them to go somewhere either I get ghosted or just rejection like whats even point of living
The picture triggered me started obsessing over all the comparisons again. I've been in therapy, which helps in the moment, but these feelings keep coming back whenever something reminds me of her.
My question for the men here is: how do you let go of the feeling that life was unfair? Not just the relationship itself, but the feeling that someone else moved forward while you're still carrying the emotional weight years later.
Has anyone else been stuck on the unfairness of a situation long after the relationship ended, and if so, what actually helped?
I'm a guy in my early 20s and I'm honestly struggling with something that feels ridiculous at this point.
About two years ago, I moved to the U.S. and shortly after got into my first relationship. We only dated for around 4 months, but the breakup hit me much harder than I expected.
After the breakup, we'd occasionally catch up and stay somewhat friendly. During that time she met someone but she would tell me she was single and wasn't interested in dating anyone so she was just lying. At one point she became more friendly and affectionate again ( bcz they stop talking for briefly that’s what’s she told me maybe she forgot she was lying to me that she was single but she was not ) , so I took a chance and asked her out. I got friend-zoned, so I decided to block her and move on. I changed my work hours, kept my distance, and didn't see her for several months.
A few weeks later me asking her out, I found out she is now dating that same guy from another workplace. They've now been together for about a year.
The problem is that I recently saw a picture of them together. I already knew she had a boyfriend, but seeing them hugging, looking serious, and apparently spending time at her house hit me way harder lost my appetite and threw up. During our relationship, she never wanted me around her house because of family concerns, and I respected that. Seeing another guy welcomed into parts of her life that I never got access to like why its got so unfair to me feels like I only got used for attention, past baggage and cultural validation
What really gets me is the sense of unfairness. When we were together, it felt like there were obstacles everywhere. Her family didn't approve just bcz I just moved here, she seemed unsure about the relationship, and I always felt like I was fighting an uphill battle. Now from the outside it looks like everything worked out for her and her current boyfriend.
At the same time, my own life has felt pretty lonely. I work, study, go to the gym, and that's about it. I don't have many close friends here, my relationship with my family is shit, and I often feel like everyone else has a support system while I'm doing everything alone like I am trying so hard to make friends ask them to go somewhere either I get ghosted or just rejection like whats even point of living
The picture triggered me started obsessing over all the comparisons again. I've been in therapy, which helps in the moment, but these feelings keep coming back whenever something reminds me of her.
My question here is: how do you let go of the feeling that life was unfair? Not just the relationship itself, but the feeling that someone else moved forward while you're still carrying the emotional weight years later.
Has anyone else been stuck on the unfairness of a situation long after the relationship ended, and if so, what actually helped?
So I(20M) met this girl 2 years ago when I moved whole new different country things went serious and we dated and it was my first ever relationship but it didnt last too long we broke after 4 months of dating reason she had two feelings for 2 guys ( me and her ex situation ship which he still kept threaten with saying he willl k himself ) and I showed her I was serious about her but nope I think I only got used by her to help her with past baggage irony is that we work same store so I have to see her couple times a month and it would still fuck me up.
Anyways despite breaking up on good terms we still like would talk once in a while to catch up on things she would ask my relationship status and when I asked her same she said she is not seeing anyone at all. And me huge ass clown thought maybe I still have chance. Until one day I saw her being on call with someone and I could tell her from face is def some new guy when I asked her jokingly she said it her cousin like wow.
Apparently she met someone new from her other job after couple months we broke up I guess they start dating but whenever we catch up on things she would say yea she is single and she doesn't wanna be anyone and stuff I knew she is lying to me and they I guess stop talking briefly and she start being flirty and touchy with me though I had chance so I asked her out but got friendzoned so I blocked her from everything ( still is ) changed my hours didnt saw her for 4-5 months and irony is that she got with that guy ( now her bf ) after couple weeks me asking her out
And obv it made me so sad and upset like when I was showed I was serious about her and supporting and understanding she never fought for it and finally met her at work last month catched up on things same lies and stuff and then yestersay I got suggestion saw this guy account and it was her and her bf hugging each other and pretty much 1 year of dating or something
When I saw that pic it just my soul left my body, lost my appetite and threw up I knew she is dating but I though its prolly nothing serious or prolly not going be but oh boy I was damm wrong and the pic was taken at her house and that also felt unfair that we dated she told me not come near her house bcz her parents start tripping or smth so I respected that now that dude is at her house like wow so she only kept rules in our relationship just to keep me at distanced place and she can talk or used me whenever to get attention or validation
Now this all unfair that why when I was with her whole world was against me her family didnt liked me just bcz I just freshly moved here and now hearing from others and seeing their relationship it literally seems like everything went their favor and it feels my whole life here is going against me when I try to make friends everyone just is too busy or doesnt wanna go or just straight up ghost my text and my relationship with my parents is so shit that it makes me like what's point even living ???
And it still hurts me to this day all this anger frustration and sadness building upon me it just consuming me tried taking therapy but its only been helpful at the moment then everything this comes back even with smallest trigger
like why all this unfair and against me like I wasnt asshole to her or toxic to her or I did not done anything wrong to anyone then all this
So the interview tmr got the location and team link I am bit confused if I have to go location first or the link
If I talk about my background got 2 years in retail pretty much from customer support to inventory logistics pretty much everything
So if that help me with what kind of questions maybe asked
And should I wear business casual ?