u/Viciousssylveonx3

I know yall will understand here but im just still embarrassed thinking about it. I went to the fair and ppl were throwing away their nice reusable plastic cups with lids on them so I got 1 each out for my kids planning to throw away the reusable straw and give them a really good washing theyre nice cups I still have the one from the fair a few years back but im just so embarrassed how they stared at me in disgust and horror and ewwed at me...

I wanna cut myself so bad I wanna die i cant do this anymore if I didnt have kids I would kill myself my car I got 3 months ago broke down I have to struggle to find a ride daily it's so hard I cant do this anymore it's like my hand has an urge to slit my wrist I feel like ripping my heart out fuck man truck breaks down have to find a ride for months finally get taxes get another vehicle for it to blow a head gasket 3 months later I cant keep doing this anymore

Spent 4 months having to bum rides to work this winter finally finally when taxes came back got a vehicle was so happy and excited but it's been 3 months and now it has a blown head gasket and I already live paycheck to paycheck now I have to bum rides again I almost lost my job last time from not being able to get a ride sometimes now its happening again. And no there's no public transportation and not even Uber works here. I cant go through this again I literally want to die. And to add insult to injury I finally sewed the gaping holes in my couch closed last night felt a tiny glimmer of pride and they popped open 24 hrs later. And my mattress broke a spring and gouged my foot...it's 1 step forward 3 steps back I cant do this anymore ik my kids need me to live but it's just so fucking hard