u/Whole-Expression6277

I learned from Facebook posts my ex’s wife’s mom posted of their wedding that the date they got married is the same day my ex messaged me very angrily demanding I go to the bathroom and lift up my shirt and send him a photo of my chest. He messaged me saying send him photos and hurry up because he doesn’t have all day and he said for me to not expect princess treatment from him because I won’t be getting that when I asked him to speak to me more respectfully..I felt sick to my stomach seeing that he got married the same day so he literally messaged me this right before walking down the isle. I know his wife won’t believe me tho because I no longer have the messages because my ex was sending me inappropriate photos and I deleted them and the chats. Weeks prior he messaged me and I knew he was engaged but didn’t know the wedding date and when he messaged the previous time he was being very vague and said he could tell (because apparently he’s a mind reader and is always correct smh) that I’m not happy in my relationship with my bf and he said he is not happy with his fiance and I need to choose. He didn’t say choose what or what he meant but I sort of pieced together what he meant and I told him I love my bf. I feel horrible holding onto this information but they already got married and so maybe I should leave it alone..so I don’t get into any drama..he stalked me for years on/off after we broke up sending me cryptic messages from spam numbers and showing up places I didn’t tell him where I would be at also..and he has stalked at least one other girl we went to college with…I told his wife’s sister about the stalking part and she just blocked me and then the wedding still happened but I know she told his wife’s because my ex messaged me all angry several months later saying he wished I didn’t talk bad about him online when I should know he would never do that about me…March 2025 is when they got married but I feel immense guilt and have stalked her socials. She is super pretty and appears to be well rounded lots of friends and close family and lots of hobbies..I’m afraid to mess things up for her…what would you do in my situation?

TLDR: ex messaged me demanding nudes the day of his wedding but I didn’t find out until a couple weeks later it was his wedding day. His wife doesn’t know and I feel guilty that she married him not knowing he did this. What would you do in this situation?

30 years old
Female
Medications: albuterol sulfate as needed, Tylenol for pain from skin surgery yesterday
Dx: PTSD, OCD
Other Dx drs think I may have: Chrons disease (small intestine inflammation, normal colonoscopy and endoscopy negative biopsy for celiac and chrons and recent CTE showed inflammation is totally gone however I still have ongoing abdomen pains and weight loss), familial atypical mole syndrome (7 skin surgeries so far)

Current concern:

The past year I’ve had new thoughts that my boyfriend of 8.5 years could be poisoning me. The thoughts aren’t every day but when I do have them they are quite distressing and are all I can think about. I’m torn if this is my OCD or something else entirely. The thoughts started after a bad week of arguments with each other and he left his phone lying out and I snooped and saw the previous night he was Googling: ak47, ak47 costs, pawn shops near me, shmurder shuicide, mini gun, sago palms, golden milk latte (I told him awhile back that I cant have tumeric lattes again because I’m anemic and they make me short of breath), selenium dioxide. He is an organic chemist and is often working alone in a lab due to showing up and leaving later than his coworkers most days.

It’s been 3.5 months since I saw all of this on his phone and asked about it. He told me his coworkers were talking about those things with him which is why he searched them and when I wasn’t convinced he said he would call them and prove it but I was so embarrassed for even asking him about his search history so I just dropped it and said not to worry about calling his coworkers.

Another important note, He has random interests sometimes and bounces from one hobby to the next all the time and a few years ago he bought a book off Amazon about common household poisons and toxins. I forget the exact title but he still has iron our bookshelf. It’s bookmarked on a page about how toxins affect the GI tract…at the time when he bought this book I did not think much of it other than it’s just a weird interest of his..

He Googled the weird Google searches about a month after we got back from an international trip with his family. It was his dream trip and his teen brother pretty much ruined the trip being a bully to us all on the trip and when I wouldn’t tolerate it and tried to take off to do my own things my bf flipped out on me and seemed upset with me even blaming me for ruining the trip later. He was cold and distant after the trip which is what led me to snooping on his phone because something did not feel right. He has a history of explosive anger and breaking things but didn’t do that for many months and seemed to be doing better..

This is causing me so much distress I’m mentally not ok and considering whether I need psychiatric help or if my concerns are valid at all. my GI Dr knows all of this because a ct scan awhile back showed I had severe enteritis of my small intestine and I had stool panel tests and bloodwork and the cause couldn’t be found..I later told him about my bf’s odd behaviors and he did a basic toxicology panel and it came back normal but my bf is a chemist and works with so many chemicals a normal panel wouldn’t cover all of them..maybe I’m crazy..idk what to do

My symptoms have been:

weight loss unexplained (I’m underweight), worsening anemia (I started eating a lot of meat recently and had a CTE that showed no bleeding or inflammation anymore), bone and joint pains (rheumatology said I’m negative for autoimmune and arthritis), abdominal pains all over, losing a lot of hair in the shower, vision issues (lost vision in my right eye for a few mins then it came back and happened twice in a week in January), worsening palpitations, tachycardia, a new very tiny lesion on my kidney found by accident but drs don’t want to evaluate that further, and a few malignant appearing nodules on my thyroid that came back benign.

Do I need a psychiatrist or more tests? I’m having thoughts about my bfs odd behaviors again tonight and I’m upset..