u/Zestyclose_Frame_567

I’m a licensed massage therapist with autism, and I’m very heavily struggling with my body mechanics because of a few things, with my autism being the biggest factor. I have always been awkward with my body. Since I was a little kid, I’ve never felt comfortable just existing in my body. I sit in weird positions, I walk weird, I stand weird, I even hold my pencil weird. I’ve experienced some bodily pain throughout my life because of it, but since becoming an LMT I have never struggled quite so much… It feels like it’s extra hard for me to use my body correctly at work because I’ve never used it correctly my whole life. I don’t have a solid foundation to build off. 

The thing that bothers me the most is that I know what I should be doing. I’m just unable to do it. Or, I feel unable to do it. I used to think that I just had no idea what I was doing, but I’m coming to realize that I know all of the rules and proper body mechanics for this job and I’m just not able to properly implement it. I will say that when I was in school my instructor (who has since been fired) did not teach us about body mechanics at all and that is definitely a factor as well. But at this point I have done so much work to understand proper body mechanics that I can confidently say that it isn’t a matter of me not understanding it, but a matter of physically struggling to connect my body movements with the knowledge that I have. 

I love my job. I love the environment, I love everything about it other than the fact that I’m constantly in pain… and my biggest fear is that one day I’m going to realize that I’m simply not cut out for it. I’m good at massaging, from a client’s POV. I know what I’m doing with the client’s body, just not with my own. It is so extremely disheartening to be in a massage and literally counting down the minutes until I’m finished because I’m hurting so much. It’s no good for anyone. I have such a passion for this and I want nothing more than to be able to safely and comfortably perform during every massage. 

Even if you aren’t an autistic massage therapist, if you feel that you’ve been in a similar situation and you have some advice, I’m all ears. I also don’t want to make this post too insanely long but if anyone wants specifics about what movements I’m struggling with and what areas I experience pains, feel free to send me a message and we can chat. I’m open to pretty much any advice at this point, just please be kind. Thank you. 

Basically just what the title says. I‘ve been on Zoloft since 2020 but I’m still pretty depressed and I feel like every day is a struggle to even get out of bed and get moving, and the only thing that motivates me to get out of bed is the thought of eating food. I don’t have the money or the means to go to therapy or get on any other medication, and I feel like the Zoloft is just a bandaid but it’s better than nothing.

And I know that this is super bad and all it does is make me feel like shit, but I feel like I’m just kind of trapped in a loop of being depressed so I eat too much and then getting depressed from eating so much. I used to go on walks most days, I would dance a lot, I enjoyed being out in the sun. But even then, I was overweight and eating way too much. If I don’t have a doctor pepper or a sweet tea or something along those lines every day, it literally makes me feel like there’s nothing to live for. I’m 26 now and I’ve felt this way about sugar and junk food since I was probably 15.

My job is very physically demanding and I feel like I’m too big to be able to do it adequately without hurting myself, but it feels impossible to stop these habits. To me, it feels like it’s harder than it is for everyone else. I’m not sure how accurate that is. I’ve always wondered if there’s something wrong with me or if I’m just weak-willed.

Anyone who’s going through or has gone through something similar, please help. I’m so tired of feeling this way both physically and mentally. I want to feel healthy and happy and attractive.

I always want my clients to be as comfy as possible, and typically when they ask where to put their arms, I’ll tell them just that— whatever is the most comfortable for them. 

Unfortunately, I’ve been noticing lately that my body mechanics haven’t been the greatest and I’ve been focusing more on client’s comfort than my own health. I want them to feel comfortable and safe, but not at the risk of me hurting myself. I’m a very short LMT (I’m 4’9) and I have to do certain things to accommodate for my shortness that other MT’s may not have to. I’ve noticed for a while that clients having their arms out next to them on the table makes it very hard for me to reach their entire back without either physically leaning over them or straining my back/hands trying to get into a position that will work for them. 

Recently I added an arm rest to the front of my table, and I’m hoping that this will help a lot of clients actually use it. I have a lot of clients that have been coming to me for a while and are most likely already used to laying in a position with their arms next to them. So, would it be appropriate for me to ask all clients, new and returning, to please use the arm rest provided?