u/angloexcellence

Two bits of information I feel are relevant before I start the main post

1. Please don't suggest dating apps. I used to be a chronic (unsuccessful) user of them and they were woeful for both my self-esteem and levels of productivity. They made me feel like everything in life was pointless and I was in a really dark place when I was using them.
2. I am Autistic, and have been told by trusted friends that it is immediately externally obvious because of things such as my mannerisms and gait etc. I feel this is a big barrier to any dating prospects as I think a lot of Women have decided that there's something off about me before I even open my mouth.

Now I've dealt with those two things. I will get into the main bit of post.

I have just turned 25, and the fact that I have got to this age without ever having dated, or in truth, ever having got close to having a girlfriend is one of things in my life that I am most unhappy about. There are other aspects of my life that I am not too happy about but this is the one that makes me feel unhappy on a daily basis.

I had a sheltered upbringing and tbh I barely did any socialising before I attended University, there I did the classic thing that happens to teenagers who are sheltered from adult things, and very much overindulged in alcohol and other things in my first year. However, I got myself a bit of a reputation for drunkeness and stupidity which I think put a bit of dent in any dating aspirations, that I never really recovered from in the next 3 years of it either. So at University, I never dated nor really made any active attempt to.

Since leaving University, I haven't really been able to find my thing and have done a series of crappy jobs whilst living at home, my current job at a bus company has zero female employees below the age of 40 so work dating is a no-go. I also attend the gym consistently (where I am ridiculously attracted to some of the girls there but obviously the gym is not the place for hitting on Women and I respect this fully) and have a season ticket at my local football team. But tbh, this is all I do and the rest of my time is spent watching tv or doing various things in my room. People will pick this part of the post out and say 'this is why you can't date, you need hobbies' but isn't taking up a hobby on the basis that you want a relationship an idea that is destined to fail?

In terms of my appearance, I'm not the best looking guy, but I wouldn't say that I'm ugly either. I'm around 6 foot and am bulky and pretty muscly so can come across as intimidating potentially, when complimented with the autism and social awkwardness.

I'm not one of those who can't deal with being alone, and in fact I have always been an introverted person , however, I also assumed dating is something that just 'happens' as you are told. When obviously when you are a man this is not the case. I think I am so used to not dating, that to me it is just normal and I can't/ don't know how to break out this rut.

TL;DR 25 year old guy who has never made any real attempt to date, I would like to start and would appreciate some advice based on the rest of the post of how I can start and what might currently be preventing me. As mentioned , due to the serious previous effect it had on my mental health and general productivity, I do refuse to use dating apps. I want to 'put myself out there' without resorting to taking up phony hobbies in the hope of randomly bumping into a girl that I am interested in. However, I'm not sure what the alternatives are to these two things so I'm happy to be told straight that I need to bite the bullet on one of these principles lol.

"Both of Boro's friendlies were behind closed doors, well about as behind doors as they can be"

Looking forward to this being a weekly occurence

25(M) today and I have spent the day doing basically nothing, and a grand total of 2 people wished me a happy birthday (outside of my family).

It's not quite as bad as it seems, I do have friends that I see regularly, I have a full-time(ish) job and I go the gym on a consistent basis. My life could be a whole lot worse but I turn 25 today feeling underwhelmed and disappointed.

One of the reasons for this is that I have got to the age of 25 without ever having been in a relationship, I've had a couple of ONS so not a virgin, but that is literally it in my 25 years of life. I am not someone who is resentful of Women or blames them for my lack of success, however, at this point it does feel like I am literally invisible to an entire gender. To be honest, it is probably my fault, I make no attempt to get a girlfriend, refuse to use online dating apps as they used to make me extremely depressed. My (suspected) autism and traits associated with it as well as a sheltered repressed upbringing probably do not help either, but I quite simply can go months on end without talking to a woman that isn't my mum.

Career wise. I used to work retail, and very recently got out of it, which I am delighted about as retail was taking a huge toll on my mental health. However, to get out of it, I had to pivot to menial phone-based customer service work for a bus company, despite the fact that I have a Master's degree. The job is incredibly boring (as no one ever calls a bus company lol) and it is another aspect of my life that leads to this feeling of unfulfillment and disappointment.

Lastly, I used to play sports and had some skills when I was younger. Now I am pretty much useless, I spend my time when I'm not at work or watching football, staring at my laptop doing nothing useful. It is another thing that I am scared will not change, as I am too apprehensive and lazy to learn anything or try something new.

TL;DR These are the main things that get me down, but there is so much more that I could write no doubt. Life so far has been a let down really and I feel like, despite wanting and hoping for change, that the rest of my 20s is destined to play out this way too and that makes me scared. I am quite literally wasting my life as we speak.

This is just a ramble really, but if there was or needs to be a question, then it would be, has anyone else dealt with this and what can I do to make sure that the rest of my 20's aren't as shit as the first half of it has been?

Thank you sincerely in advance for anyone who takes the time and effort to reply.