u/calcato

Why don't we celebrate Treaty of Paris Day?

ETA I am gonna rewrite this entire poorly written middle of the night cant-sleep post to be more specific, but later. So, just ignore for now.

(I mean "the man" as in the one from the proverbial "stick it to the man" saying - i.e. the system or power structure. )

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It seems like people scream at "victim blamers", and, that seems appropriate; it's not someone's fault when they are abused and get caught up in the abuse cycle.

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But then at the same time they'll scream at a former abuse victim who points out that people who are unwittingly manipulated into being part of, say for instance, a cult, are also victims. That focusing on the cult members themselves, shaming them, calling them names, etc. is as wrong as victim-blaming, and attention must be paid to the cult leaders who are victimizing and propagandizing instead.

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Apparently a different feminism sub doesn't want to bloody hear it, which truly makes me think they lost the plot.

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But what do y'all think over here?

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If the whole point of having any kind of life was only to have to box it up and give it to Goodwill, what was the f*cking point of any of it?

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If her antiques and "stuff" is so important that there is no place for anything of mine, why did I ever bother accumulating anything?

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If the entire point of my life was eventually moving back to take care of my mom in *her* old age, why did I even bother leaving to try and have a life of my own in the first place?

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I wish someone had just told me ahead of time. I would not have bothered having hope.

It wasn't the first break-in, but it was the one where they got caught.

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Have you hugged your plumber today?

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Also a good day to check that your smoke detectors are in good working order.

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✌️✌️

Did you seriously move the Facebook navigation bar to the BOTTOM of my phone screen, where it is COVERED UP by the phone's navigation bar?

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Why? WHY?

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HOW is it your QA/UI people did not catch such things? Or did they catch it and you ignored them?

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No, I don't want to switch my phone nav to gestures.

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No. I shouldn't have to. This isn't my problem, it's yours.

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I can't believe you did this.

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Oh well. Did you know social media firms are losing loyal, long term customers left and right? Now ya do. Fuck LinkedIn and Google, too. You all went to shit.

I know this sub is for tips to "promote" your personal brand, but I am actually trying to do the \*opposite\* of that, and would love some advice.

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I'm having trouble getting any of my changes to "stick." So at this point I've just hibernated my account entirely in hopes it doesn't show up for anyone anymore.

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My goals are:

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1. To be able to better curate visibility. I have tried all of the options to make sections not-visible to certain audiences. At least, I've tried the obvious options in settings. But when I go through my friend's LinkedIn to view my account, everything is thebsame. I even waited the requisite 24-48 (or howevermany it was) hours, and nothing had changed. I know I hit "save" after making said changes.

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2. I have a lot of useless connections from a long time ago that I no longer need. Is there a way to mass-disconnect, rather than having to no down a list and disconnect one at a time?

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Thanks for any input you may have!

I didn't watch the UFC nonsense from yesterday, but of course it is unavoidable in all the commentary podcasts today.

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I can't even type the comments made by some of these people. The guy who made the comment about Michelle Obama? That one alone is reason enough for us to ask for our tax dollars back. I'm so pissed rn, at the use of public funding for private gain, at this administration thumbing its nose at ALL of us with idiots cheering it on not even realizing THEY ARE DISSING YOU, TOO. Just, disgusting.

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Sponsored by Bud Light, by the way.

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The irony.

I know this sub is for tips to "promote" your personal brand, but I am actually trying to do the *opposite* of that, and would love some advice.

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I'm having trouble getting any of my changes to "stick." So at this point I've just hibernated my account entirely in hopes it doesn't show up for anyone anymore.

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My goals are:

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1. To be able to better curate visibility. I have tried all of the options to make sections not-visible to certain audiences. At least, I've tried the obvious options in settings. But when I go through my friend's LinkedIn to view my account, everything is thebsame. I even waited the requisite 24-48 (or howevermany it was) hours, and nothing had changed. I know I hit "save" after making said changes.

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2. I have a lot of useless connections from a long time ago that I no longer need. Is there a way to mass-disconnect, rather than having to no down a list and disconnect one at a time?

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Thanks for any input you may have!

I started out as just your ordinary grammar nerd, then went down the rabbit hole into a few areas of linguistics, and it is all *fascinating.*

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At the moment, I am into word origins and historical changes to word meanings.

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So since Im a nerd, and need the practice:

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What are, in your mind, some of the key terms used in misogynistic rhetoric that I should look into, or that you find most interesting? (or most common, or infuriating, or hehe, "hysterical" - we all know that one's etymology... or... do we? Hmm...)

and yet, it's always there.

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Vegetables do taste great by themselves, y'all. Maybe a dash of salt and/or lemon, or heck, entirely naked.

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But, nope... always, always with the salad dressing.

I do not want my 95 year old mother getting ingrown toenails cut at a nail salon, and on the other hand I have taken her to a podiatrist, who is a medical doctor, and paid out of pocket, which seems ridiculously expensive to do every time she just needs her toenails cut.

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Are visiting home-health people trained in this?

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Is the answer to just file them instead of cutting until a podiatrist visit is absolutely necessary? I am still afraid of hurting her accidentally if I do it myself, as she has neuropathy and can't tell me "ouch!" As such I won't use sharp objects on her; that seems like a recipe for infection.

I realize there will be a vast range of differences in experience for this topic. But I am curious about how discussions of this deeply personal topic may have shifted over time, and how prepared people were, or are, for the inevitable.

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If your grandparents have passed, what was it like watching your parents go through the loss of their parents?

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If your own parents have passed, what was it like for you?

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What did you learn from experiencing significant loss, or watching others experience it?

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Were the decedents people who faced mortality and prepared for their end? Or were they in denial about their own mortality to the end? Or something in between?

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As examples, I'll use my Silent Gen parents versus my Boomer husband. When my dad passed in 2008, he had a will and *everything* in writing, right down to what hymns to include in his funeral service. But in his physical decline, he was completely in denial about it; even after 3 months in the hospital in&out of ICU, he always talked "when I get better and come home..." like, just not facing his reality.

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By contrast, my 95-yr-old mom has been in the hospital a couple times in recent years, and given us the heartfelt goodbyes, and then managed to physically bounce back and rehabilitate. Like, even if her heart/brain aren't giving out, she seems mentally and emotionally "ready." Plus her will is as detailed as dad's.

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By another contrast to both of them, my Boomer late husband, who passed in 2022, was a party animal to the bitter end. Quite literally, he partied himself to death. Absolutely no plans. No will. Total denial the whole way through. (And, I do wonder how common this might be in more recent generations).

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[Not trying to be a downer; some people can objectively reflect on death and dying, while some find it too depressing. If you're the latter, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable here, so by all means skip it.]

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Thanks in advance for your perspectives. 🤍

I'm exhausted. "Ageing in place," they said. "Social security" and "Multigenerational housing," they said. It's your "peak earning years!" they said. IF you can keep a job w/ the level of chaos that comes w/eldercare. This woman is gonna be a centigenarian and it's gonna kill me.

ETA: I love you guys. There are caregiving subs on reddit that are immensely supportive and easy to find. Just fyi! Take care, y'all.🤍

ETA2: the number of young people who believe that "medicare and medicaid and social security will take care of my parents so I won't have to!" is alarming. They need to know.

ETA3: for everyone in the same boat, I also recommend r/caregivers and others caregiving subs for morale. Very supportive folks in those subs.

Sorry if this is a repeat question; there is no "AskGenZ" sub yet.

I'm absolutely not seeing this in my circle so it doesn't *seem* true to me. But I know my circle is not a representative microcosm.

I keep reading and hearing the occasional podcaster insisting that GenZ voters are the ones who joined that coalition late and were just big enough to tip the presidency over to DJT;

AND that in 2026, if the Senate and House of Representatives remain in Republicans' control it'll be thanks to GenZ voters.

Maybe I'm just looking for reassurance and a "say it ain't so!" but it just seems weird that people who analyze this stuff say it is one way while all the (let's say 18-24y.o.~ish) kids of my GenX peers indicate it's the opposite.

More diverse voices here, so what say you?

I love watching Clarkson's Farm, because the farming aspects are really interesting.

But, clearly this show is edited/produced to tell a story that puts him in an overall positive light.

I have heard a bit of critique about him, but wonder what are Brits' overall thoughts about him and the mission of this show? (Surely it has to be considered a more noble "cause" than "Look at all these cars!" which is just a silly premise for a show, in my opinion; although to be fair I never watched him or knew anything about him from before Clarkson's Farm).

Is the criticism just because he has something like a Gordon-Ramsay-level temper? Is it the location and issues with local disruption? Or something else?