u/centralvoid__

So typically during a conversation with somebody, I have some stuff to talk about, like it doesn’t die out immediately but I just don't know how to add that “spark.” In group convos, I tend to be quiet unless I have something to add. There’s the occasional funny moments and I can get some laughs in, but it’s usually on accident if anything and I feel like most of the time if I’m having an actual conversation, I’m kind of boring to talk to.

When it comes to dating specifically, I’ve observed guys who can make women laugh consistently throughout a conversation, and I always wonder how they do it? Something that got me thinking about this was how one of my friends said when it comes to dating a person, she cares far more about their vibe than just looks. She basically told me, “I have to imagine whether they’d be good at foreplay, or just a bore in bed.”

Genuinely asking. I’m wondering if my situation is more or less common in the modern era? I’ve never had a single woman show any kind of interest in me. Perhaps I had chances when I was in my teens, but I’d never know. I think my main issue is that I don’t really know how to flirt or make others laugh, which is apparently really important when building attraction. As far as my appearance goes, I try to hit the gym 3-4 times a week, I do eat clean, and I’m 6’1. I stay on top of my hygiene, do skincare, and still have my hair (thankfully, lol).

Genuinely asking. I’m wondering if my situation is more or less common in the modern era? I’ve never had a single woman show any kind of interest in me. Perhaps I had chances when I was in my teens, but I’d never know. I think my main issue is that I don’t really know how to flirt or make others laugh, which is apparently really important when building attraction. As far as my appearance goes, I try to hit the gym 3-4 times a week, I do eat clean, and I’m 6’1. I stay on top of my hygiene, do skincare, and still have my hair (thankfully, lol).

Great game to play on the go for Switch.

I'm 27 and a dual-citizen between Canada and the US. I live in the Niagara region with my parents, and recently landed a job crossing the border to work in Buffalo. I've been living in Niagara for most of my life, and I don't know a whole lot about living in WNY, but I do know that it seems to be more affordable, there's a lot of nice, scenic spots in upstate, and the people I've met are friendly. I'll say that the cost of living here in Ontario is very high, especially towards Toronto/GTA, and the job market top-down is not good at all.

However, the US is a big place, and I don't know if WNY is somewhere I'd want to settle into. My parents did want to move to Colorado since we have some family there, and it's a great state and enjoyed my time whenever I've visited, but I've read that the cost of living in that state has risen quite a bit over the last few years.

Any nice areas in NY worth moving to, or should I consider another state? I'm just trying to take advantage of my time living at home and save as much as possible over the next year or two.

Here's my criteria, if it helps: affordable, seasonal weather, things to do/events, nice community/people/places to make friends, left-leaning (not too conservative or red).

I got a job working full-time as a security guard for a hotel with a casino attached. Interview was short and they hired me on the spot. I don't have any previous experience in this field whatsoever, and I'm wondering if anybody here can share their experiences? Feeling a bit nervous and I don't know all of what to expect, but it'll be my first decent paying job after working in fast food for years.

Not sure if anyone can relate, but I heard down the grapevine at work from someone I usually close with that a coworker said she "hates me" and thinks I'm weird. I find it really odd since I've barely talked to this person, and have just kept to myself focusing on my job. I don't think I've ever had an actual conversation with her. There's other people at work I get along with just fine, so for her to say something like that simply because I'm quiet and a little awkward at times, I feel is immature. I've literally done nothing wrong. That's why I'm thinking there might be rumors going around and she's basing her judgment off of that, but who knows.

I wonder if this is a common experience for us in the workplace?

A year ago, I remember there being this girl who I noticed was looking my way a lot at the gym I go to. At first, I didn't think anything of it and minded my business, since she could've just been looking in my direction or off into space, and I also recognized that it's not socially acceptable to approach women in the gym. However, it then became super obvious that she was staring at me often and getting near me regularly, like she was trying to catching my attention. I felt a little intimidated because she was really attractive.

One day, as I grabbed my stuff from the locker to leave, she stood off to the side waiting. I realized her locker was to the left, and she couldn't get to it with me in the way since it's a tight space. I turned around and asked, "Sorry, am I in your way?" Her body language was very fidgety, playing with her hair, and she giggled saying, "No, it's okay." I quickly put my shoes on and left. It was only a couple days later when I realized that she probably wanted me to make a move, but I never saw her again.

I'm 27 and feeling burnt out. I've never had any meaningful friendships or connection in my life, and it's been tough cultivating those when most of it turns out to be one-sided. I end up realizing that the other person doesn't like or respect me, or simply just doesn't see me in the same way (a friend). I've been finding it hard to cope and wonder what's the point in trying to make friends anymore.

I struggled a lot with putting myself out there in the past, and those negative experiences weigh on my mind and prevent me from trying again. I suspect I might have ASD. It’s also made me reconsider ever dating until I actually have some kind of social circle.

Also, by no friends I genuinely mean none. I haven't received a text from anyone who wasn't my parents, coworkers or my phone company in years.

I struggled a lot with putting myself out there in the past, and those negative experiences weigh on my mind and prevent me from trying again. I suspect I might have ASD. It’s also made me reconsider ever dating until I actually have some kind of social circle.

Also, by no friends I genuinely mean none. I haven't received a text from anyone who wasn't my parents, coworkers or my phone company in years.

I feel like this is pretty common for us. It's tough cultivating friendships when most of it turns out to be one-sided in the end, realizing that the other person doesn't like or respect us, or simply just doesn't see us in the same way (a friend). I've been finding it hard to cope and wonder what's the point in trying to make friends anymore.

I was in a group conversation, and I noticed that every time I would speak, this one person would compress their bottom lip (kind of like lip biting sort of), and squint their eyes at me. With everyone else they were more open and not doing that. Is this a bad sign?

I’ve always had a frail, soft sounding voice, and it’s a daily struggle for people to hear me and to speak up. I routinely have to do vocal training or singing in my car to get my voice sounding somewhat normal.

I also have a weak core. I’ve been in the gym for a few months now but rarely do abs or core exercises. I just distinctly remember being in my high school fitness class, and we had to do core workouts one day. I was one of the only kids who seriously struggled, and my body was shaking uncontrollably.

Could doing core/abs help with my voice?

Nothing but good memories.

It feels like I'm playing a game where everyone else knows the rules but me, and no matter how hard I try, I end up failing.

I’ve tried everything, but there’s still that underlying "offness" about me socially that I just can't shake, and it feels like nothing I say actually matters or lands the way I want it to. No matter how well I articulate myself and how much I explain things, or if I try to chime in on conversations, I get a weird look.

For my whole life, I had no clue why it seemed like it was only me being treated this way. Like, I still don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I do and try to act what every else is does, and laughing or reacting the way everyone else reacts, but I'm either ignored, interrupted or not understood.

It feels like I'm playing a game where everyone else knows the rules but me, and no matter how hard I try, I end up failing.

I’ve tried everything, but there’s still that underlying "offness" about me socially that I just can't shake, and it feels like nothing I say actually matters or lands the way I want it to. No matter how well I articulate myself and how much I explain things, or if I try to chime in on conversations, I get a weird look.

For my whole life, I had no clue why it seemed like it was only me being treated this way. Like, I still don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I do and try to act what every else is does, and laughing or reacting the way everyone else reacts, but I'm either ignored, interrupted or not understood.