u/humblewarriorrr

I have been facing a very traumatic experience with a child hood friend of mine . My friend Ariel who’ve i known since 1st grade was like a brother from another mother , literally. We grew up playing on the same sports teams , dressed alike , shared clothes and shared everything with each other. He’s one of those guys who you can genuinely trust 100%. it was a real brotherly love . I always suffered with PE and around 16-17 when all my friends were having sex i’d be scared cause of how traumatic my first sexual experience was , (for context , i finished in 10 sec haha) anyways i told ariel about it (he had a girlfriend at the time so he was having plenty of sex) and he could see how frustrated I was , anyways about a year later i had another experience and the same thing happened , I busted in about 30 seconds and the girl was extremely unsatisfied. At that point in time , Ariel had like 4 bodies , but he was single , He wanted to help me so he suggested we should have a 3sum with a girl . I know it might sound odd but i was actually open to the idea because i thought maybe having him there would take less pressure off me and make me feel more comfortable, that way if i feel like i was gonna orgasm too fast, he could take over while I pace myself . Anyways when that day came , i was super excited and the girl started giving me a bj that’s when ariel said “damn bro you’re shit is big “ i didn’t think much of it , i said something like “thanks” and than like a minute in i felt the urge to orgasm coming in so i told him to take over , god i tell you this man pulled out a micro , im not even exaggerating it. It was at that point when things started getting really awkward , we ended up having the 3sum and it went smooth , but the girl was so blunt and straight forward that she couldn’t help but compliment my size in front of him and downplay him right in front of my face . To be honest i felt so uncomfortable and i didn’t even know how to feel , this kid was a brother to me , we did everything the same and even referred to each other as the same person lol . After that day , things got really awkward , he couldn’t stop talking about my size , in a very envious way , i could see the jealousy all over his face and its like the way he saw me just completely changed , i felt like i had became his enemy , I swear… He started treating me a lot worse and the energy in the friendship felt soooo fking off and weird , mind you this man was my best fkin friend. Long story short , this friendship is now dead due to this…

anyone know an ai bot that can assist me in creating a business online , chatgpt gemini just aren’t reliable for this and too robotic

i’m genuinely curious if it’s just me or if anyone can relate to this or give their takes

Everytime I go out , I realize how introverted i truly am. I am sitting at a table with some people who are genuinely there just having a good time and i couldn’t even look up and look in their eyes and interact with them . I felt so overstimulated and off and just wanted to disappear somewhere that i can be alone . however as much as i enjoy being alone , a part of me always feels like im missing out on something outside and wasting my youth and time instead of making connections with people. I know this sounds very contradictory and bipolar but it’s just so exhausting to be around people , my nervous system just goes into fight or flight . i’m genuinely starting to feel like im cooked

I realized I have a fear of something that feels like a never ending loop. I feel like i have to do something or take matters in my own hands to fix it , yet my parents constantly keep telling me to forgot it which is a lot easier said than done . If you have a minute to read about my situation and give your insights , I would appreciate it deeply since at this point i feel so alone in this problem and it feels so personal.

Context : I grew up really rough in the bronx and although my parents gave me a pretty good childhood and did everything they could , I always knew I wanted to get my family into a better situation, being an only child also put a lot of pressure on me but i didn’t mind it . Going to school I realized i have a big talent for acting and being creative and enrolled in my schools drama academy.
I had raw talent which never went unnoticed and everyone knew i was gonna be something big one day including myself, However the school i went to at the time was dangerous and i’d always find myself in bad situations so eventually my parents ended up transferring schools to a public high school in queens area which was in a way safer jewish neighborhood . This was ideal for me because i could pursue acting without all the outside noise that came from living in the bronx. During junior year I had made a friend who said he saw a lot of potential in me and wanted to invest his own money into me , he said he can help me market myself on social media and that way i’d get more acting opportunities . He suggested i should make a youtube channel cause posting myself online would help me get noticed and open new doors, he started spending a lot of money on me , he bought me a computer , new clothes , a camera and essentially everything necessary to succeed in this field. I was honestly happy but surprised that someone this age (we were 16 at the time) can have so much money and be willing to invest it in me , but never the less of course i couldn’t decline it. I started up the channel and like he said i saw success instantly , My first video reached 100k views and it was only up from there . Over the course of the next few months , My channel started growing fast and with the help of his investment into me we started a new project , he started convincing me that this channel and youtube career is now more important than going to school so I started to cut class everyday and go record content . Eventually i missed so much class that i got kicked out of my drama academy due to lack of attendance. Although I was upset , I saw the vision with youtube and tried to stay positive . The channel started to grow so much that he decided to make his own channel and use my channel to shoutout and grow his own personal channel. Now what was just me became us , he started pursing youtube as well and we said we should start recording together . Anyways we recorded one of the biggest videos together which ended up receiving 1M views and we got a nice paycheck . I always was insecure about my nose so i decided this was the perfect opportunity to fix it and i felt like this would help the confidence and make the content even better , i ended up getting a septoplasty and shortly after he decided to get one too. I started to see that he’d dress like me , have the same style and overall kind of be influenced by my actions . I didn’t think too much of it because I saw us a team and i felt like he did too. We kept recording content and seeing good money and he convinced me that we should drop out of high school since we had been making enough money to support ourselves . All of a sudden my dreams of becoming an actor and getting a high school diploma started fading away , but i wasn’t too mad about it because he said he has a new plan and that was for us to move in together so we can always film and have a place to discuss ideas and edit videos . I was down and we ended up renting out an apartment for $3.2k a month at 19 years old. Long story short , this apartment messed everything up and became more of a chill and hang out place rather than the original idea we had to pursue our dreams. A year went by and I practically completely lost myself , We started having parties , getting wasted , he convinced me that getting wasted was good and he would record me and store blackmail and slowly i could see my dreams were fading away. I had blown most of my money and he would always have me pay for everything now since I had money now saying “don’t worry we’re gonna make it back once we get back into our youtube grind” but by the time the yearly lease was up i was practically broke , wasted , and lost all my desire to even live honestly . i felt like i had no direction where as it seemed like he had an abundance of money still and if anything seemed like he was better than before . After that , I was honestly lost I had no spark of continuing youtube because that genuine creativity felt gone , I was far behind in school now but to him , he simply moved onto other businesses like it was nothing and still had a pocket full of money. The relationship slowly started changing and i felt this weird energy whenever we’d get together again so i decided to completely cut ties and go back to school to pursue what i originally wanted . I cut all ties with him and went no contact without really explaining anything , but i always felt like he was watching me and keeping an eye on me , almost like he didn’t want to see me fix my life or get back on my feet . It was weird , someone who felt like home at once started feeling like a genuine enemy or something . Everytime i started feeling better and trying to forgot about the apartment situation and downfall , he’d somehow manage to put it in my face again because despite me going no contact he’d still reach out occasionally and I’d see the messages on my end but never respond , eventually I became afraid and worried that i’d never be able to get away from him , and to this day it’s been 2 years since we spoke or hung out and he texted me yesterday on the day of my birthday and it gave me so much anxiety cause i finally started feeling free and like i had escaped , but seeing that he’s still checking in (mind you he hasn’t got a response from me in 2 years but still checks in every few weeks) really put fear into me and at this point i feel like i can’t start my life over almost like there’s a soul tie or something , i don’t know how to make this person disappear permanently, everytime he checks in I get thrown off and it has such a big impact on me honestly , i need help , i really do , don’t know what to do at this point

Whatever you think reflects in your facial expressions , body language and voice , that can make you extremely vulnerable, how do you avoid this if you’re scared of this without completely avoiding people?

how would someone from a suburban white family date a dominican girl that’s in touch with her roots and culture heavily? even if they’re physically attracted to each other , how would it even work because he knows nothing about what it’s like living in her culture and how would he get along with her family??

so recently about a year ago i cut off every single one of my child hood friends for my own sake . I’m not gonna lie most of them i could trust and feel comfortable around because of how long i knew them , but honestly as we grew older the vibes just weren’t the same and shit got boring and weird. Now it’s been a year and i’m lonely asf , i talk to some mutual people but i wanna make new friends that feel like brotherhood or sister hood. i wonder how you make a connection with people where it feels like you’ve known them for a long time

Since forever i’ve been suffering with premature ejaculation , it started the very first time i masterbated . i finished before i could even touch myself . i remember always finishing extremely fast and therefore this made me extremely anxious to talk to girls because i knew i wouldn’t be able to perform at all.. i honestly felt broken and it was really bad because unfortunately i wasn’t that bad looking and many girls were interested in me , in numerous occasions i would hang out with them but id cut ties with them before things got to serious due to my insecurity. this completely destroyed everything for me during my teens and my first actual sexual experience was a disaster due to this. Years later when i turned 20 I was still never engaging in sex because despite everything i tried nothing seemed to help and i thought i was doomed … until one day i came across
a hims lidocaine delay spray and a friend of mine recommended we should go to a brothel . To me personally that was so out of character and not something i’d ever seen myself doing , however , i knew i was 20 and had 0 sexual experience and awful quick ejaculation tendencies meaning to female should have to go through that which is why the brothel idea slowly grew on me . Anyways that night we met up and this was something he would do regularly, but to me this was my first time and i was very nervous because i really cared about my sexual life despite not having one and what i mean is like my body count and who i actually had or was have sex with mattered to me . unfortunately all the dreams i had and plans i had to lose my virginity like a fairytale to the girl who i genuinely could’ve but my 5 second ejaculation messed it up so here i am now losing my virginity to a chick in a brothel. anyways i put the delay spray on and it worked like a miracle , it numbed my penis completely but i felt like that guy cause i had lasted 15 minutes which was by far incredible news for me . It made me feel alive again and happy that i could finally have sex. I was relieved that i had got it out the way and my friend said we should go again so we went back the next night and it was amazing i had sprayed 8 pumps of the lidocaine all over my penis and it got hard but was numb so in other words it was big and hard but i couldn’t feel it at all , it was so much fun ! anyways i kind of got addicted to just the experience and watching the women’s reaction to just observing how sex really is and how it works because i couldn’t actually feel any sensations so it was just a visual experience . Despite having long lasting sexual experiences in the brothel , I still noticed when i’d come home and try to masterbate on my own with no spray, i’d go back to finishing in 15 seconds again. Fast forward a few months i noticed myself going to brothels a lot frequently and overusing this spray and not washing off right after intercourse . I started even testing out new areas and started spraying it on my Perineum and around that area to numb it as well and pretty much i became super addicted to the spray because without it i felt like absolutely nothing and i knew i couldn’t perform at all , i loved seeing women’s having intercourse with me looking happy even though i knew deep down i was using a spray and paying … which sounds terrible looking back now. anyway one day after a trip to the brothel i noticed my penis had a new green sensation to it that it never had before like at the root of the penis . I instantly got scared and stopped using the spray for a few months i would say until later returning to it . I noticed shortly later that my abdomen was growing larger but i wasn’t necessarily gaining weight because i’ve always been flat stomach and super duper skinny and this didn’t feel like weight gain it feel something related to the delay spray. ever since i discontinued using the spray and honestly feel like my penis is just dead at this point there are new veins or at least that’s what i think they are that have been popping up on my penis and i feel like they hold some kind of tension cause they never used to be there and my penis honestly doesn’t get as hard as it used too and most importantly when i ejaculate now the sensation isn’t how it used to be my whole life it where i sense it from the tip but now i just feel it at the root or start and i feel that vein i was talking about earlier kind of spazzing or releasing it. anyways i haven’t been in a relationship or had sex in so long i feel i destroyed my penis with this spray

I know everyone’s gonna be quick to say this sound narcissistic blah blah or that i should see a therapist , but as someone who has been called over the top attractive throughout all my years and high aura i notice people hate me for absolutely no reason and even worse most of them are jealous and weird , i don’t understand why i deserve this?

like i’d see some people strongly be confident in what they’re saying but to me it sounds like complete bs so i genuinely start to think how can this person genuinely believe what they’re saying so i dive deep into it trying to figure out and see it from their shoes even if it’s the most bizarre thing ever

An ex added me on Snap today after not talking to each other for 7 years , 10 minutes after she added me, she calls me as if the 7 year gap doesn’t exist… How do you just call someone, not even text them first, but call them right away after not seeing each other for six years or talking? You're basically a stranger to me and you're calling me. It made no sense, so I just ignored it. And then just now, eight hours later, I see that she screen recorded something in our chat, so it's definitely probably something from years ago, and then she just unadded me again. What does this mean? What is she trying to say?