u/imdeerest

I'm 29. Don't have money for therapy and in massive debt. I would avoid problems and take the easy way out. However, it had unexpected consequences of being in debt, missed opportunities, and unwise choices. I also hurt many people (friends, family and strangers) and would say the wrong thing. I carry the guilt and shame from my wrongdoings including a recent blowup that resulted me getting fired from a job for a poor work performance. I now have another job that doesnt pay much, but not complaining. Sadly, I need a more stable job and not rely on my parents. My home life isn't the best, but im grateful I have somewhere to live.

I had a job interview far away, because my city was unsafe and it was a huge deal breaker. I also messed up. I can't erase my actions, and I struggle to move forward that I can't erase what I did. Growth is humbling and hard.

TW: Body odor

Also a note: I take full responsibility for my actions and again. I'm actively picking up after myself. I'm not putting the blame on anyone but myself. His actions reflected mine.

TMI: My family and I were unhygienic and had repairman over and were disgusted of the bad smell. We picked up dirty habits for a long time. Not because of him, but I thought about him and also Acacia Brinley/Kersey whatever.

Embarrasing. I'm trying to take better care of grooming and cleaning myself. I shower everyday. I keep watching Nikki Carreon (patiently awaiting part 4) and AJTalksALot about his gross BO. This guy is rich but he doesn't take care of himself. His husband even tolerates it and they both have children?!? Insane. And this guy and his family are rich and whining about being poor. Bruh. Not to mention his cohost and his small group of friends pick up dirty habits, including Lizze having her feet out at Costco, dogs out and everything.

I already dislike him. I dislike him for good. He's entitled, defensive, throws tantrums, and he reeks. 🤢🤮

I wish him the best and a bar of soap.

I might not be here any longer, because I want to keep my distance from him.

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Meant to say when things aren't going your way.

Im having a terrible year and overcoming procrastination than doing nothing all day than being on my phone and on my bed. I have to overcome financial problems, hoarded house, failed vacations, and I don't have many people to talk to. I broke many people's promises. Iwasted my life and money and I feel like im going backwards. Thank you for your past suggestions guys. I feel burned out

I messed up a lot and I hurt people. I have trouble forgiving myself knowing I can't erase the damage I've done. I'm seeking God again and thankfully have a Bible.

I'm going to a church wear headcoverings, celebrating wicked Pagan holidays like Christmas, stop wearing pants and find a Christian husband. Women who go to college and work are going to hell because it's a feminist agenda. Women are to be keepers at home, get married have children, be keepers at home, and to be silent.

I'm going to the straight and narrow path and be submissive, obey God, and do everything my husband says.

I don't want to hate myself anymore, like I used to. I had anger problems and temper tantrums and hurt people. I hate who I used to be. I attempted suicide. I'm jealous of people who have it together and not did anything wrong. I dont want to be with bad people. I want to be with good people. I want to get out of debt and have financial problems. I'm seeking God again and thankfully have a Bible.

I'm going to a church wear headcoverings, celebrating wicked Pagan holidays like Christmas, stop wearing pants and find a Christian husband. Women who go to college and work are going to hell because it's a feminist agenda. Women are to be keepers at home, get married have children, be keepers at home, and to be silent.

I'm going to the straight and narrow path and be submissive, obey God, and do everything my husband says.

I had anger problems and temper tantrums and hurt people. I hate who I used to be. I attempted suicide. I'm jealous of people who have it together and not did anything wrong. I dont want to be with bad people. I want to be with good people. I want to get out of debt and have financial problems. I'm seeking God again and thankfully have a Bible.

I'm going to a church wear headcoverings, celebrating wicked Pagan holidays, like Christmas, stop wearing pants and find a Christian husband. Women who go to college and work are going to hell because it's a feminist agenda. Women are to be keepers at home, get married have children, be keepers at home, and to be silent.

I'm going to the straight and narrow path and be submissive, obey God, and do everything my husband says.

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Like Patriarchial Christians like Douglas Wilson and Dale Partridge. Women like Lori Alexander aka The Transformed Wife, Hannah Pearl Davis aka JustPearlyThings, Savanna Stone are promoting dangerous ideologies saying women shouldn't vote, women shouldn't have jobs, just anti women. It's so sad Ive argued with Lori Alexander before and got blocked sorry not sorry. But many people are falling for these doctrines. Disgusting. Also before she was saved Lori had a funny story about tampering her husband's birth control and how she was pregnant with their second child so she could be a homemaker. Not funny at all, and she admit that it was wrong. It was disrespectful and not to mention manipulative. She then got saved and became a submissive wife.

I was able to have time for myself. However I have to pay off more credit card debt. I feel like 💩. I spend too much on food/takeout, and other stuff I don't need. I wish I could get a second job to pay off my loans. My first job isn't going to cut it. Ive been rejected to a dream retail job. I applied for Uber but the rentals are expensive. No thanks. I want to become more mature and independent.

My mom is getting on my case and she cornered me last year for not picking up after myself. It was scary I cried. Im trying to do more chores and pick up after myself, and its hard my house is a hoarding hell. I picked my family's bad habits, they dont clean either. Its gross. I want to cry.

I like this page because

I don't have many people to talk too on here. I can't afford therapy.

Im jealous of people who have it together. Im 29 and acted so immature and I hate myself for it. I rubbed people the wrong way and acted horribly. I also struggled with anger problems and attitude problems. There are people that hate me for how I used to act. I have a hard time forgiving myself knowing I can't erase my wrongs.

Im trying to pay off my debt so I can at least buy a car and house. I still live with my parents. All I really want is to be left alone. I need a break.

I did bad things and hurt people, I'm a bad person like Mackenzie Shirilla. Im trying to get my finances back together and go to therapy. Ive gottten in trouble at work and this is my new job after being fired. No one understands me and I just want to rot. Im 29 and I still act like a child. Im trying to pay off my debt and not lose my temper. I want to be dead.

I've done terrible things I can't erase and hurt people. Now Im living in debt and living with the consequences of ny actions. I want to commit suicide for what I've done and I have multiple times. Im too scared. I believed if someone has done bad things in life it should define them. Yes people can change, but what they did doesn't go away and erase the damage they done. There are actions worse than others that are inexcusable and criminal.

My native language is English (USA) and I came from an inner city. I learned Spanish on and off in Suburban school. Sadly transferred back to inner city school with no foreign language programs. Middle school also didn't have foreign language classes, but had plans. I dabbled in French and also ASL. I

relearned Spanish in high school, but I really wanted to learn Japanese through anime and J-Pop and also discovered Korean through KPop. I'm embarrassed to admit that however I love to know about the culture instead of the romantization of the pop culture.

I used Duolingo here and there and lost interest. I sadly got fired from my job amd have a low paying job to try to pay off my debt. However, it's at a diverse Japanese Store/Restaraunt and the Japanese coworkers don't speak English very well, but conversational. I really love to learn Japanese, but have no money. There are also Hispanic coworkers who speak Spanish as well.

There's so many languages to learn and im excited, however I have to take it one step at a time knowing how hard Japanese and Korean are. I get sad/embarrassed when Im relearning and studying languages. I took Preply, but it's expensive. Im also planning on going back to school where the Japanese class is far away.

More specifically, the 3D Films produced by the man, the myth, and the legend, Mike Young of Mike Young Productions, now known as Splash Entertainment.

I like to draw and always wanted to be an animator, sadly haven't drawn in 4 years during a bad period of time. However, I liked looking up random animation companies, and Mike Young Productions was one of them. They made a lot my favorite nostalgia kids shows outside of Bratz, some of the animation was decent. They were responsible for the 2000s 3D movies from Rock Angelz to Desert Jewelz and the TV series from 4Kids. I loved making fun of the animation, they had a limited budget and it showed. Half of the budget went to the Bratzpack hair. People also pointed out reused character models (ie Fianna was renamed in Passion 4 Fashion Diamondz and Bratz Kidz Sleepover Adventure), it was hilarious to look at. Bratz isn't a Disney level masterpiece nor it's fellow B-word rival, but I get a good laugh out of cheap entertainment.

I wished I could undo the damage I've done. I hurt people, manipulated people, and acted immature. I struggled with anger problems and temper tantrums. Ive been in and out of therapy for my issues. Im just as horrible as Mackenzie Shirilla who was a terrible person murdering two people her boyfriend and friend. If someone has done bad, they're entirely a bad person especially if they committed a crime.

My fav quote, it's been killing me. Bonus points if someone has the pic.

This is a cautionary tale.

Im going back to therapy and I'm jealous of people who have their lives together. Im embarrassed of my past behavior and acting like a fool. There are other losers who do bad things and behave poorly. There are crazy neurodivergent people.

This is your warning, dont be crazy like me. I I was poorly raised and spoiled. I acted poorly and I'm now overcoming my immature behavior at 29. There are some people more matured than me and they are much younger than me.

Please get your lives together or else you'll be like me.

This isn't a rant. I didn't know where to put it. I regret my last post because im such an immature person and people hate me. Understandably so.

I truly want to be a better adult and I want to be mature. But actions speak louder than words. It's up to me to make the move. If you guys still dislike me, oh well.

Im proud that I am taking care of myself and paying attention to finances and planning on having a budget. Im a lot more self aware now. Im thinking before I speak. However thank you for the comments, it was hard to hear and very harsh, but it will help me in the long run.