Hello! I’m looking for recommendations for any pop up, market or bazaar looking for clothes merchant :) any recommendation is appreciated. Thank you!
Hi everyone.
I've realized my struggle isn't really about one mistake—it's about years of shame and self-neglect.
For years, I've struggled with taking care of myself: hygiene, skincare, health, organization, and daily responsibilities. When I get overwhelmed or emotionally hurt, I avoid things, isolate myself, and end up bedrotting. The more I avoid, the worse everything gets.
Something I feel a lot of shame about lately is about a year ago..I left a bag of clothes outside for months because I kept putting off dealing with it. By the time I finally opened it while we were moving, around 40–50 pieces had become moldy and I had to throw them away.
I know this happened because I neglected them, and I take responsibility for that. What I can't seem to move past is what I've made it mean about me.
Around that same time, I was also dealing with my boyfriend cheating on me multiple times. I felt ugly, worthless, and couldn't bring myself to leave. Looking back, I wasn't just neglecting my things...I was neglecting myself.
The hardest part is that I don't just judge my actions..I turn them into my identity. Every mistake becomes evidence that I'm irresponsible, disgusting, or fundamentally flawed.
I also ruminate constantly because part of me believes that if I stop thinking about my mistakes, I'll repeat them. It feels like I have to keep punishing myself to prove I'm sorry.
Ironically, the more I shame myself, the more I withdraw and neglect myself.
Has anyone broken out of this cycle? How did you stop defining yourself by your worst moments and rise above?
Hi everyone.
I've realized my struggle isn't really about one mistake—it's about years of shame and self-neglect.
For years, I've struggled with taking care of myself: hygiene, skincare, health, organization, and daily responsibilities. When I get overwhelmed or emotionally hurt, I avoid things, isolate myself, and end up bedrotting. The more I avoid, the worse everything gets.
Something I feel a lot of shame about lately is about a year ago..I left a bag of clothes outside for months because I kept putting off dealing with it. By the time I finally opened it while we were moving, around 40–50 pieces had become moldy and I had to throw them away.
I know this happened because I neglected them, and I take responsibility for that. What I can't seem to move past is what I've made it mean about me.
Around that same time, I was also dealing with my boyfriend cheating on me multiple times. I felt ugly, worthless, and couldn't bring myself to leave. Looking back, I wasn't just neglecting my things...I was neglecting myself.
The hardest part is that I don't just judge my actions..I turn them into my identity. Every mistake becomes evidence that I'm irresponsible, disgusting, or fundamentally flawed.
I also ruminate constantly because part of me believes that if I stop thinking about my mistakes, I'll repeat them. It feels like I have to keep punishing myself to prove I'm sorry.
Ironically, the more I shame myself, the more I withdraw and neglect myself.
Has anyone broken out of this cycle? How did you stop defining yourself by your worst moments and rise above?
Hi everyone.
I've realized my struggle isn't really about one mistake—it's about years of shame and self-neglect.
For years, I've struggled with taking care of myself: hygiene, skincare, health, organization, and daily responsibilities. When I get overwhelmed or emotionally hurt, I avoid things, isolate myself, and end up bedrotting. The more I avoid, the worse everything gets.
Something I feel a lot of shame about lately is about a year ago..I left a bag of clothes outside for months because I kept putting off dealing with it. By the time I finally opened it while we were moving, around 40–50 pieces had become moldy and I had to throw them away.
I know this happened because I neglected them, and I take responsibility for that. What I can't seem to move past is what I've made it mean about me.
Around that same time, I was also dealing with my boyfriend cheating on me multiple times. I felt ugly, worthless, and couldn't bring myself to leave. Looking back, I wasn't just neglecting my things...I was neglecting myself.
The hardest part is that I don't just judge my actions..I turn them into my identity. Every mistake becomes evidence that I'm irresponsible, disgusting, or fundamentally flawed.
I also ruminate constantly because part of me believes that if I stop thinking about my mistakes, I'll repeat them. It feels like I have to keep punishing myself to prove I'm sorry.
Ironically, the more I shame myself, the more I withdraw and neglect myself.
Has anyone broken out of this cycle? How did you stop defining yourself by your worst moments and rise above?
Hi everyone. I feel a lot of shame about this and I don’t really know how to process it.
About a year ago, I discovered that a large portion of my clothes had gotten moldy/musty. They were stored in a bag outside for months and were exposed to moisture, heat, and rain. I kept putting off dealing with them because I was already overwhelmed in life, and every time I thought about sorting them, it felt like too big of a task. There were also some times that I forgot about them completely.
When I finally opened the bag (during a move), many items were already beyond saving. I ended up throwing away around 40–50 pieces.
I keep replaying it and thinking about how I should have handled it sooner. I feel a lot of guilt because these were things I spent money on and built over years. It feels like I wasted clothes, money, and something I should have taken care of.
My boyfriend saw it too, which made the shame worse. But I also know this is bigger than just the clothes.
Around that time, I was going through a really difficult period in my relationship. My boyfriend had cheated on me multiple times, and I was struggling with feeling hurt, insecure, and unable to leave. I started neglecting my self-care, hygiene, and routines, and felt like I was losing myself.
Looking back, I think I was neglecting myself, not just my belongings.
I also struggle with letting go of things because of money and emotional attachment. That then becomes overwhelming, I avoid it, and the cycle continues.
Even though this happened almost a year ago, I still think about it and struggle with seeing it as proof that something is wrong with me.
Has anyone experienced something similar: neglecting things (or yourself) during a difficult period and then getting stuck in shame afterward?
How did you start forgiving yourself and breaking the cycle?
Hi everyone. I feel a lot of shame about this and I don’t really know how to process it.
About a year ago, I discovered that a large portion of my clothes had gotten moldy/musty. They were stored in a bag outside for months and were exposed to moisture, heat, and rain. I kept putting off dealing with them because I was already overwhelmed in life, and every time I thought about sorting them, it felt like too big of a task.
When I finally opened the bag (during a move), many items were already beyond saving. I ended up throwing away around 40–50 pieces.
I keep replaying it and thinking about how I should have handled it sooner. I feel a lot of guilt because these were things I spent money on and built over years. It feels like I wasted clothes, money, and something I should have taken care of.
My boyfriend saw it too, which made the shame worse. But I also know this is bigger than just the clothes.
Around that time, I was going through a really difficult period in my relationship. My boyfriend had cheated on me multiple times, and I was struggling with feeling hurt, insecure, and unable to leave. I started neglecting my self-care, hygiene, and routines, and felt like I was losing myself.
Looking back, I think I was neglecting myself, not just my belongings.
I also struggle with letting go of things because of money and emotional attachment. That then becomes overwhelming, I avoid it, and the cycle continues.
The pattern I notice is:
avoid → things get worse → shame → more avoidance
Even though this happened almost a year ago, I still think about it and struggle with seeing it as proof that something is wrong with me.
Has anyone experienced something similar: neglecting things (or yourself) during a difficult period and then getting stuck in shame afterward?
How did you start forgiving yourself and breaking the cycle?
Hi everyone. I feel a lot of shame about this and I don’t really know how to process it.
About a year ago, I discovered that a large portion of my clothes had gotten moldy/musty. They were stored in a bag outside for months and were exposed to moisture, heat, and rain. I kept putting off dealing with them because I was already overwhelmed in life, and every time I thought about sorting them, it felt like too big of a task.
When I finally opened the bag (during a move), many items were already beyond saving. I ended up throwing away around 40–50 pieces.
I keep replaying it and thinking about how I should have handled it sooner. I feel a lot of guilt because these were things I spent money on and built over years. It feels like I wasted clothes, money, and something I should have taken care of.
My boyfriend saw it too, which made the shame worse. But I also know this is bigger than just the clothes.
Around that time, I was going through a really difficult period in my relationship. My boyfriend had cheated on me multiple times, and I was struggling with feeling hurt, insecure, and unable to leave. I started neglecting my self-care, hygiene, and routines, and felt like I was losing myself.
Looking back, I think I was neglecting myself, not just my belongings.
I also struggle with letting go of things because of money and emotional attachment. That then becomes overwhelming, I avoid it, and the cycle continues.
The pattern I notice is:
avoid → things get worse → shame → more avoidance
Even though this happened almost a year ago, I still think about it and struggle with seeing it as proof that something is wrong with me.
Has anyone experienced something similar: neglecting things (or yourself) during a difficult period and then getting stuck in shame afterward?
How did you start forgiving yourself and breaking the cycle?
Hi everyone. I feel a lot of shame and I don’t really know how to process it.
About a year ago, I discovered that a lot of my clothes had gotten moldy/musty.
The clothes were stored in a bag outside, and over time they were exposed to moisture, heat and rain because I left this bag outside for MONTHS. A big reason I didn’t deal with them sooner was because I was already overwhelmed and avoiding things in my life. Every time I thought about going through them, it felt like such a huge task that I kept putting it off.
Eventually, when we were already moving, I finally opened the bag and realized how bad it had gotten. By then, a lot of the clothes were beyond saving. It wasn’t just a few pieces — I ended up having to throw away around 40–50 items.
The hardest part is that I only got around to dealing with it when we were already moving, and I keep replaying it in my head thinking about how I should have done something sooner, how I should have taken better care of my things, and how I let it get that far.
I feel so much shame because these were things I spent money on. I wasted clothes, money, and something I should have been able to take care of.
My boyfriend saw it too, and that made the shame much worse. It felt like he saw a side of me that I was deeply embarrassed by.
But I also know this is bigger than just the clothes.
Around that time, I was going through a really difficult period in my relationship. My boyfriend had cheated on me multiple times, and I was struggling with the fact that I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I was constantly feeling hurt, insecure, and like I wasn’t enough. I started feeling ugly, and I noticed myself neglecting my own self-care, hygiene, routines, and things that used to matter to me.
Looking back, I think I was neglecting myself, not just my belongings.
I also struggle a lot with letting go of things. I hold onto clothes because I think about how much they cost. Then the amount of clothes I have became overwhelming, I avoid dealing with it, and it got worse.
The pattern I see now is:
I struggle with something
→ I avoid it because it feels overwhelming or painful
→ it gets worse
→ I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself
→ the shame makes me avoid it even more
The hardest part is that this happened almost a year ago, but I still think about it. I don’t know how to stop seeing this as proof that I’m disgusting, irresponsible, or that something is wrong with me.
I want to move forward, take better care of myself, and break out of my shame.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Not necessarily mold specifically, but neglecting things (or yourself) during a difficult period and then feeling stuck in shame afterward?
How did you start forgiving yourself and breaking the cycle? Thank you so much.
Hi everyone. I feel a lot of shame and I don’t really know how to process it.
About a year ago, I discovered that a lot of my clothes had gotten moldy/musty.
The clothes were stored in a bag outside, and over time they were exposed to moisture, heat and rain because I left this bag outside for MONTHS. A big reason I didn’t deal with them sooner was because I was already overwhelmed and avoiding things in my life. Every time I thought about going through them, it felt like such a huge task that I kept putting it off.
Eventually, when we were already moving, I finally opened the bag and realized how bad it had gotten. By then, a lot of the clothes were beyond saving. It wasn’t just a few pieces — I ended up having to throw away around 40–50 items.
The hardest part is that I only got around to dealing with it when we were already moving, and I keep replaying it in my head thinking about how I should have done something sooner, how I should have taken better care of my things, and how I let it get that far.
I feel so much shame because these were things I spent money on. I wasted clothes, money, and something I should have been able to take care of.
My boyfriend saw it too, and that made the shame much worse. It felt like he saw a side of me that I was deeply embarrassed by.
But I also know this is bigger than just the clothes.
Around that time, I was going through a really difficult period in my relationship. My boyfriend had cheated on me multiple times, and I was struggling with the fact that I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I was constantly feeling hurt, insecure, and like I wasn’t enough. I started feeling ugly, and I noticed myself neglecting my own self-care, hygiene, routines, and things that used to matter to me.
Looking back, I think I was neglecting myself, not just my belongings.
I also struggle a lot with letting go of things. I hold onto clothes because I think about how much they cost. Then the amount of clothes I have became overwhelming, I avoid dealing with it, and it got worse.
The pattern I see now is:
I struggle with something
→ I avoid it because it feels overwhelming or painful
→ it gets worse
→ I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself
→ the shame makes me avoid it even more
The hardest part is that this happened almost a year ago, but I still think about it. I don’t know how to stop seeing this as proof that I’m disgusting, irresponsible, or that something is wrong with me.
I want to move forward, take better care of myself, and break out of my shame.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Not necessarily mold specifically, but neglecting things (or yourself) during a difficult period and then feeling stuck in shame afterward?
How did you start forgiving yourself and breaking the cycle? Thank you so much.
Hi everyone. I feel a lot of shame and I don’t really know how to process it.
About a year ago, I discovered that a lot of my clothes had gotten moldy/musty.
The clothes were stored in a bag outside, and over time they were exposed to moisture, heat and rain because I left this bag outside for MONTHS. A big reason I didn’t deal with them sooner was because I was already overwhelmed and avoiding things in my life. Every time I thought about going through them, it felt like such a huge task that I kept putting it off.
Eventually, when we were already moving, I finally opened the bag and realized how bad it had gotten. By then, a lot of the clothes were beyond saving. It wasn’t just a few pieces — I ended up having to throw away around 40–50 items.
The hardest part is that I only got around to dealing with it when we were already moving, and I keep replaying it in my head thinking about how I should have done something sooner, how I should have taken better care of my things, and how I let it get that far.
I feel so much shame because these were things I spent money on. I wasted clothes, money, and something I should have been able to take care of.
My boyfriend saw it too, and that made the shame much worse. It felt like he saw a side of me that I was deeply embarrassed by.
But I also know this is bigger than just the clothes.
Around that time, I was going through a really difficult period in my relationship. My boyfriend had cheated on me multiple times, and I was struggling with the fact that I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I was constantly feeling hurt, insecure, and like I wasn’t enough. I started feeling ugly, and I noticed myself neglecting my own self-care, hygiene, routines, and things that used to matter to me.
Looking back, I think I was neglecting myself, not just my belongings.
I also struggle a lot with letting go of things. I hold onto clothes because I think about how much they cost. Then the amount of clothes I have became overwhelming, I avoid dealing with it, and it got worse.
The pattern I see now is:
I struggle with something
→ I avoid it because it feels overwhelming or painful
→ it gets worse
→ I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself
→ the shame makes me avoid it even more
The hardest part is that this happened almost a year ago, but I still think about it. I don’t know how to stop seeing this as proof that I’m disgusting, irresponsible, or that something is wrong with me.
I want to move forward, take better care of myself, and break out of my shame.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Not necessarily mold specifically, but neglecting things (or yourself) during a difficult period and then feeling stuck in shame afterward?
How did you start forgiving yourself and breaking the cycle? Thank you so much.
Hi everyone, I need advice because I feel like I’m stuck in a shame loop over something that happened almost a year ago 😭
I accumulated a lot of clothes over the years (mostly from online shopping). I already knew I had too many and wanted to declutter, sell some, or donate.
The problem was I had a hard time letting go because I spent a lot of money on them. Then almost a year ago, I stored a large number of clothes in a storage outside and forgot about them while they were exposed to sun and rain for months. By the time I got around to them, a lot of them were already moldy, stained, smelled musty, or became unusable.
The hardest part isn’t just losing the clothes, it’s the guilt and shame I still feel about it.
I keep thinking:
I know it already happened and I can’t change it, but I still replay it in my head almost a year later.
I can’t stop feeling so much shame. I feel like this has stained me permanently and I am disgusted with myself.
Would really appreciate any advice to move forward!!
Hi everyone. I’m stuck in a shame loop and would appreciate any advice.
I developed a clothes shopping addiction and accumulated so many clothes over the years. Most of them I don’t wear anymore, and they’re taking up a lot of space.
I’m struggling to declutter because:
I am stuck in executive dysfunction plus rumination loops because I know I need to declutter, but I can’t seem to start or finish.
Has anyone dealt with this kind of shame cycle? How did you actually get out of it and start letting things go?
Any advice would really help ❤️ thank you!