u/orsodorato

I was just walking home from the supermarket when suddenly a postman bolted out of the door of the apartment complex I was walking past. As the door slowly closed behind him, I unfortunately saw what he was fleeing - a massive black cane corso, as it burst through the door. “Jaysus Christ,” I thought, and without thinking, I screamed “run!” The dog stopped in its tracks and looked at me as if to say “oh, so now you wanna get involved, too?” My heart began racing so fast that I thought I would soil my unmentionables. Next thing I knew, my groceries were on the ground, my eyes were closed and I was sprinting home guided by muscle memory alone. I don’t know if the dog pursued me and gave up, or carried on after the postman or if its owner grabbed him; but what I do know is that I have to buy more eggs and more glass bottled water, but I got my steps in

I saw an injured baby pied crow (or an adult smaller crow) during my walk today. Concerned, I slowly approached it to help it out of traffic, and as I bent over to pick up it a larger crow swooped down and just missed the back of my head. I didn’t touch the crow and just kept going about my business, faster. Now, I’m afraid to go outside. They remember faces. I hope the baby crow explained that I was only trying to help. Pray for me

Growing up I used to hear adults talk about meetings, “I have a meeting. I’m in meeting. After my meeting” etc, and I’ve always been fascinated by these mysterious and magical gatherings - could not wait to have my own. Now that I’m an adult and I have meetings on a regular basis, I’ve come to realize that 50% of them could have just been a phone call or an email. I’m 100% convinced that they are just excuses to eat pastries. I’m just sitting here, trying not to fall asleep and get diabetes. Like, what are we doing?

One of my closest friends is visiting from Portugal. We both grew up poor but have done pretty well for ourselves. Today, we cleaned the house, which included vacuuming and washing the floors. At lunch, I began making pumpkin and as I was stirring them, one fell off the wooden spoon and onto the kitchen floor. He quickly picked it up and ate it, to which I cried out “eeewww!” He looked at me and said “I don’t do waste,” to which I replied “then eat the egg shells, too”