u/pomegranatejello

On July 4, the winner of the Coney Island hot dog eating contest ate 66 hot dogs in the span of ten minutes.

Apparently he’s been in various eating contests since the mid 2000s and trains for contests by gorging himself with milk and protein shakes to stretch his stomach and by practicing with huge amounts of hot dogs grilled at home. It sent me down a whole rabbit hole of other professional competitive eaters.

How does someone eat more than 50 hot dogs in one sitting without getting a heart attack or something? And how does someone regularly compete in contests like that without dying in a few years later from the complications of downing those extreme amounts of food and training for the contests?

I’m part of a creative writing community and one of the members is drawing their own book cover. The sketch they’re working on so far is otherwise good, but the composition is such that it almost looks like a childlike (alien) character bending over near another character’s lower half is a massive curved, erect penis with limbs and a face. I may be overthinking it because she’s a little lower placed and maybe other people won’t see it that way, but I did a double take when I saw it at first and assumed it was nsfw. I would want someone to tell me that but I feel bad for giving unsolicited criticism that could tear down what they called their best version yet in what’s presumably a number of renditions. How would you politely broach a topic like this without being insulting or embarrassing them more than necessary?

I’ve had my resume reviewed nearly ten times. I’ve filled out hundreds and hundreds of applications by now. I’ve attended virtual networking conferences. I’ve networked with people I know and people working in companies or roles I’m interested in. I’ve been to a career coach (who just gave generic platitudes). I’m volunteering now. I’ve been trying to take online coursework to build additional skills.

And nothing seems to matter.

The rate at which I send out job applications by now has been pitifully small.

I just have such a hard time seeing the point and taking action when it seems I’m completely unhireable by now.

Something about coping with sorrow over climate change in a way that’s healthy, but that does not necessarily sugarcoat reality or give too much false hope, either.

Primarily looking for nonfiction, but fiction suggestions with these themes would also be acceptable.

It would be useful for my marketing to see who the “typical” reader might be for different literary genres, and how that compares to readers in general, but I’m having a bit of a hard time finding information like that online. Does anyone know resources that generally break down common reader demographics by genre?

It’s out of my control and I feel like people point out that fact like it’s supposed to help instead of make me feel even more powerless. They say that plenty of people have died in the past from other disasters like we haven’t been warned over and over again how many disasters climate change specifically will create, and how much worse they will be.

I grew up hearing over and over that climate change was going to devastate us all if we didn’t do enough about it. And then we didn’t do enough. We were told catastrophe would come and are now told that catastrophizing it is irrational and melodramatic.

Heatwaves are happening everywhere and getting worse with constantly breaking records, storms are getting more severe, rivers keep drying up, winters are either nothing or more volatile than they ever were in my childhood, species keep dropping like flies, etc. And everyone seems to react by either acting like nothing’s wrong, sticking their head even further down the sand, or contributing even further to our own destruction.

So many people are going to die in the coming decades. I fear my niece and her generation will inherit a graveyard.

Hope this is acceptable under rule 4.

I’m part of a creative writing group that’s generally pretty warm and accepting.

The founder of the group is having another member of the group (who lives far away and usually interacts via the group discord channel) review his novel.

Offhand at our last meetup session, he started calling their edits stupid and complaining about everything he didn’t like about them publically, without the editor there to defend themselves or discuss them productively.

I don’t think that’s a constructive way to express criticism and I’m worried other people hearing someone call their edits stupid could discourage them from sharing their work or feedback with the group. And I’d be pissed if I was voluntarily going out of my way to edit a nearly 600 page novel for free just to hear my friend trash talked my edits and called them stupid behind my back.

But idk if it would be smarter to just let it go and know to keep him at a certain distance, because I haven’t come upon those issues with anyone else in the group and don’t want to start drama that could alienate me from the group.

When do you bring up unproductive criticism vs letting it slide?

I go to a creative writing group that’s otherwise lovely, and I’ve formed friendships through it.

The founder is having a member voluntarily edit his novel and I think they’ve already gotten through a sizable chunk. The editor is part of the group, but lives far away, so they usually interact via the group discord channel, rather than going to the in-person weekly meetup.

At this week’s session, the founder was openly complaining about the editor’s suggestions and called their feedback “stupid” offhand.

I’d be really sad and pissed off if I was going out of my way to edit a nearly 600 page novel, completely for free, just to find out someone I thought was my friend call my feedback stupid behind my back.

Yes, there’s definitely such a thing as unhelpful feedback, but I feel expressing it that way could make people feel unwelcome in sharing their work/edits. I’d started reviewing a little bit of the founder’s novel myself, which has already been time consuming, but don’t feel comfortable sharing it if I know he might complain and call my edits stupid when I’m not in the room.

But I also don’t know if the editor and founder have a friendship dynamic where that kind of bluntness is normal.

And I don’t want to start unnecessary drama when I’ve found a real sense of community through the group.

I would privately message the founder and try to approach it from a sense of understanding and tact.

When I have a problem or when I feel like someone has wronged me, I can’t stop spiraling and obsessing over it. It’s like my brain wants me to find a perfect solution that just doesn’t exist. I’ll try to distract myself but it’s like whack-a-mole. Or I’ll try to accept the thought and move on from the, but they keep popping up and multiplying. It’s terrible for me. My blood pressure spikes crazy high, my eyes will hurt from searching for solutions online for hours and my head will ache from trying to analyze every angle. I’ll neglect to take care of myself because I’m so obsessive and spend two or more hours rereading the same email draft or text message. It’s especially bad when I feel like someone’s done something cruel or unfair to me or there’s an interpersonal conflict. My anxiety isn’t as bad as it once was but I’m worried about it coming back with a vengeance as I’m withdrawing less, keeping myself busier and trying to better embrace things that are good for me but stress me out.

I'm neurodivergent and can struggle with performing and processing body language. I'm able to deal with it when interacting with people IRL, but I feel like I'd struggle with the artificial intelligence's performed body language or trying to present in a way I think the AI would like, which would distract me from my actual discussion points.

And I've read several news and research study articles that have said that AI video interviewers can unfairly penalize people with nuero-developmental conditions (like autism) compared to an IRL interviewer for how they perform body language and vocal tone, though this is of course an evolving area of study.

So, I was thinking about contacting their HR and asking if I could have a real person call me instead as a reasonable disability accommodation. From what I know, the job would be a pretty good place to work overall, and it's within a field I'm interested in pursuing.

I can use AI/LLM's in work because a lot of positions explicitly require it to some degree. So it's not me asking for something that would cut me out of the work I'd be regularly required to perform. It's just this specific instance.

Where I live, disability is a protected class and employers are supposed to make reasonable accommodations in the hiring process in a way that wouldn't cause them undue hardship, as long as the accommodations wouldn't keep someone from performing the essential work of the role.

But I don't know if I'd be shooting myself in the foot and making myself seem like I'd be difficult to work with even though technically employers aren't supposed to react that way. I know they're doing the AI screen because of how much time it takes to go through a ton of applications, and that employers are often looking for reasons to reject people.

The AI screening technology is new, so idk if they would just say that there haven't been legal cases about this that I'm aware of and tell me I have to do it anyways. And this is probably dramatic, but I'm a little paranoid about drawing attention to my disability with the US Justice Department's recent memo, though I live in a fairly progressive state.

I know this isn’t a very original topic, just venting.

I’m aware that every social media platform has assholes on it, and that a lot of factors (algorithms rewarding controversy, anonymity, rage bait, etc) often encourage people to be nastier on the internet than they would be to someone irl.

But in my personal experience, Reddit has always by far been home to the meanest, snarkiest, snobbiest user base out of the several social media platforms I’ve used and am trying to cut back on. Like, it’s not even close, even often on ostensibly “nicer” subs and completely benign posts and comments that aren’t controversial at all. And I’m not going out of my way to engage with or react to the negativity.

I still have Reddit right now because it’s useful for finding information and content related to a lot of my interests. There are of course absolutely lovely people and communities on here as well. But jfc, the meanness can feel inescapable. I hope that this is confirmation bias or something and other people have had better experiences.

It’s an important skill, but one I’m still learning.

I’m good when it comes to dealing with constructive criticism, when readers can point out areas that don’t work for them and explain why it doesn’t resonate with them. I don’t really take it personally and value the opportunity to improve.

What I have a harder time learning to deal with is when it comes to non-constructive rejection. Getting a ton of unexplained rejection letters, mean-spirited hate comments, people clearly not liking your work but not having any real rationale behind it…Basically, criticism when there isn’t really a clear way to act on it.

What’s helped you grow a thicker skin as a writer in the face of rejection?

I went to a (virtual) creative writing group focused on critique and shared two poems.

I was hoping to receive feedback, positive or negative. Although it’s great to receive positive reactions, I wouldn’t have minded people pointing out areas that didn’t work for them or specific lines that they had trouble understanding. That’s part of growth as a writer.

Instead, while other people’s work got a lot of feedback and discussion, at least half or more of people’s spoken reactions were just members complaining that they don’t normally read poetry and have a hard time understanding poetry overall. I got a few cursory comments on the actual content of my work, but the rest of the group just sat in noticeably bored silence that I didn’t notice when other members shared their own pieces. It felt like members weren’t giving me a chance to have the work judged on its own terms because they don’t like poetry in general, and weren’t interested in discussion they gave to other forms of writing people shared.

There’s definitely a few rude members I don’t care for, but I’ve gotten some valuable comments on my fiction before from the group’s critique. But now idk if I want to keep going after that reaction. It felt really disheartening to go to a writing critique group just for most of the members to complain that they don’t care for the medium of writing I chose to express myself with.

At the same time, I know that poems can be pretty abstract and can take time to fully digest, so idk if it’s just the nature of the beast that it would be hard to substantively critique something like that without more time to mull on it. And I don’t want to shelter myself from any and all negative reactions to my work. The format of the group is to share your work right then and there, and the members (who aren’t the most tech-savvy) don’t normally share links prior to the video call, so idk if they’d bother to read it if I sent it out some time before the meeting started. Prose fiction is the norm in the group, I just wasn’t expecting that reaction to sharing poetry instead.

I know some of these issues are specific to my situation, but I think it still fits the sub rule of broader applicability because other people may have issues in their groups with how people react to alternative forms of writing.

TLDR: felt like people didn’t give my work a fair chance or consideration in a creative writing group because I shared poetry instead of prose, but idk if it’s just because it’s harder to critique poetry in a short time frame.

Not trying to yuck anyone’s yum or police people’s content. I get the “my celebrity type” or “celebrities I don’t like” posts can be used as a sort of personality quiz in themselves and I’m happy people are having fun with it. I’d just like more variety and find that posts that don’t follow that formula seem to get drowned out under the sheer volume of nonstop celebrities, so it would be cool to find an alternative space.

I’ve noticed a trend with controversies regarding ai in the arts of people who use them often not wanting their own medium to be overrun with ai slop, but seeing nothing wrong with devaluing other artistic mediums.

Movie productions using ai scenery and backgrounds instead of cgi or practical effects, but promising the script and actors are all human performances.

Authors using an ai generated cover, but promising the writing was human-made (granted, a lot of ai writing has also swamped the market).

Similarly, musicians using AI covers but promising the music itself was made by people (although again, a lot of ai music has flooded in alongside it).

Visual artists using ai music on their social media posts but then getting defensive when users criticize it because the art itself was human made.

Video game designers using generative ai image assets and ai written scripts, or using ai with their voice acting, but promising the core gameplay was developed by a human team.

I get that it’s usually a cost-saving measure, but then it seems the same people would be horrified by the prospect of their own artistry being replaced by ai on a project.

I plan to publish under a pen name, and would ideally like to minimize how much I post my face, because:

• I write about sensitive topics and am part of a marginalized community often subject to harassment from people with certain prejudices, so I want to reduce some of the likelihood of getting doxxed. I'm not necessarily very open about my identity with everyone in my life. I had an experience with members of my workplace at the time getting doxxed and bombarded with hate messages, using publicly-available info on the web, after the organization posted content supporting the marginalized community I'm a part of, and that whole ordeal was really scary and overwhelming.
• I also stupidly posted some niche NFSW pictures with my face visible when I was younger and more impulsive. I deleted them to the best of my ability and don't know if it existing elsewhere, and it didn't go viral or anything, but I know there's always a chance that things don't truly die on the web. Yes, it was dumb, but I was in a mental state where I didn't know if I'd live to see the next month, so I didn't care to look ahead at the time.
• Though I do want to speak honestly and vulnerably about themes that are important to me and my community, some topics could be relatively unflattering to a potential employer.

I am aware that there are few truly foolproof methods, and that there are still probably going to be ways to find me if they really, really want to even if I use a pen name and minimize how much I show my face. I just see it as a kind of insurance policy to mitigate it somewhat and maintain a level of privacy, with the understanding that everything you post online carries some inherent risk.

I know there's the whole thing of "write your book and worry about it later" and realizing that most authors really don't have to worry about that level of notoriety. I'm mainly focused on sharing short stories and poetry atm, and I'm not expecting anything crazy to come from that apart from the joy of potentially sharing my art with a few people. But I still think it's worthwhile to consider my options ahead of time for my novel in-progress just in case I'm blessed enough for my work to resonate with a lot of people, especially since I know authors are often expected to maintain a social media presence and have a strategy in mind for promoting their work.

I'm part of a creative writing group, and after sharing a story, some of the members strongly suggested I try to get it published it in a magazine or literary publication. I've enjoyed reading some stories from a few online lit mags (I don't think they were accepting unsolicited stories as of reading), but I don't really know anything about the process of submitting your own work for consideration.

What's helped you find publications that may accept your work and sift through all the options? Is there a generally standard pitching process or "cover letter" for reaching out to editors, or are those conventions completely dependent on the individual publication? Are there usually fees to submit your writing? How long has it taken you to hear back from an editor? Do writers usually submit their stories to multiple publications at once, or are you really expected to only pitch it to one place at a time? Overall, what are some things writers should know or prepare for ahead of submitting their work?