Completed: Short ramble of a late watcher, I just finished sobbing like a baby.
First of all, fucking WOW??? I loved the writing for this show, the best way I can describe it is that it seemed like the images one creates in his or her mind when reading a deeply enticing novel, as though somebody took video of each frame and projected it onto a wall, I think the poetry throughout the show really helped create that impression, but don't get me started on the poetry I was star struck, maybe that's a result of my naivety I don't know, I don't read much poetry so spoken word always impresses me, but I found it amazing, it really made me think, I mean?? Okay boom "When I looked out over this land, I only saw the freedom it promised. I knew nothing of the horror that hides in freedom’s shadow" what?? That reminds me of the journey my mother took , country to country to country, then BACK to bring me over to the land I live in now, giving me freedoms I would have never otherwise had, it calls to bravery, risk taking, balls of fucking steel, adventure, right and then boom "I looked at my father, looked past his smile, saw he was worried, saw something deeper, as if he were already in mourning, as if I were already gone. I felt different, too, felt as though my soul had been dislodged from whatever cavern in our chest the soul is connected to. It felt loose, disconnected. I looked out at the sagebrush. The colors looked different, sharper. Looked up at the sky, the clouds seemed to race above us, as if new rules applied to time and space above me." that for me perfectly represents your first heartbreak, whether the breakup from your romantic partner, or the disappointment from your mothers eyes, it's the knowing without any words spoken, it's the losing yourself completely, almost as if you're floating, but not in a good way, drifting from your own body, into a realm that looks completely different to the only one you've ever known, and all of that happening in the span of 30 seconds of your life, it's gut wrenching, it's just I could go on forever they're ingrained into my mind, what a great show.
One critique
Elsa's relationship with love, I mean we're all immature as teens but come on lmao, that was a bit quick, ol' boy had JUST died lmao, but 9/10 for sure, I still have a headache from crying, like a damn little girl or something, and I'm a grown man 😭, no shame though, I'd recommend this show to any and everybody, but the scenes towards the end definitely broke a part of me.
Writing from Notes App
Show 1883 [S1:E9]
"The Weep of Surrender" Reflecting on Elsa's death
The build up towards finding out Elsa would die is probably the best depiction of what it means to die that I have ever seen on TV, although I don't relate to what it means to migrate cross country through perilous pathways, unpaved roads in lands that can only be described as a place where a "free for all" is all that is expected. Although I don't understand what it means to know death better than life itself, her passing still felt like the rawest representation of the departure, the journey TO the other world, if any, the realisation and fear, or lack of it, every aspect of death was preserved in this work, as though death itself was a person you had to describe, and as Elsa said more times than I recall, "it's beautiful."
She says:
"I looked at my father, looked past his smile. Saw his worry. Saw something deeper. As if he were already in mourning. As if I were already gone.
I felt different too, felt as though my soul had been dislodged from whatever cavern in our chest the soul is connected to. It felt loose. Disconnected. I looked out at the sagebrush. The colors looked different. Sharper. Looked up at the sky. The clouds seemed to race above us, as if new rules applied to time and space above me. I looked back at my father, and I studied his eyes. Looked deep into them. That's when I knew I was going to die."