u/AquariusMonologue

I’ve been no contact for almost five years now (birth mother, stepfather, maternal grandmother and my three younger half-siblings who I helped raise). My birth mother and stepfather were both physically, verbally, sexually and financially abusive towards me. My maternal grandmother, who relies on my birth mother and her husband for support, was a bystander who allowed the abuse to happen.

A few weeks ago I underwent a major surgery which has left me unable to walk for the next several months. Since I’ve returned home from the hospital, I’ve been having recurring dreams about them. This has never happened before — ever. I’ve never had recurring dreams about any topic/person back to back to back the way I’ve been dreaming about them.

I just woke up from a nightmare about my youngest sister as a baby (she’s a teenager IRL) and my birth mother tells me to bathe her, dress her and get her ready for bed (this was one of my usual responsibilities as the oldest child). In this dream, my baby sister is bleeding through her diaper and she had a high fever. When I call my birth mother and stepfather, they’re out on a date. I try calling 911 but no one answers. My sister is crying then drifting in and out of consciousness. My maternal grandmother is yelling at me, saying she’s not going to get more milk for my sister. I punch her in the face and she falls to the ground unconscious. She’s motionless. At that point my birth mother and her husband return. I’m panicking about my sister and my grandmother. My birth mother enters the room and takes my sister out of my arms. I turn around and my grandmother is now on a stretcher but no one comes to get her; she’s just laying there.

Why is this happening? Why now? I don’t know what any of this means but I would like it to stop. Recovery from this surgery is already difficult; these dreams make it that much harder to rest.

I’ve been no contact for almost five years now (birth mother, stepfather, maternal grandmother and my three younger half-siblings who I helped raise). My birth mother and stepfather were both physically, verbally, sexually and financially abusive towards me. My maternal grandmother, who relies on my birth mother and her husband for support, was a bystander who allowed the abuse to happen.

A few weeks ago I underwent a major surgery which has left me unable to walk for the next several months. Since I’ve returned home from the hospital, I’ve been having recurring dreams about them. This has never happened before — ever. I’ve never had recurring dreams about any topic/person back to back to back the way I’ve been dreaming about them.

I just woke up from a nightmare about them and I’m sick of this. I would love to have a night’s sleep where I don’t have to see or interact with them, especially so violently. In the dreams, I’m always the past version of myself when I was with them as opposed to the person I am now, even down to my hair and appearance. I feel like I’m trapped in the dreams as that version of myself. There was even a “scene” in one of the dreams where I am trying to walk away from them but my legs become numb and I can’t move.

Why is this happening? Why now? I don’t know what any of this means but I would like it to stop. Recovery from this surgery is already difficult; these dreams make it that much harder to rest.

This is my first post in this community so I’m hoping I’m not alone in this experience.

I’ve been no contact for almost five years now (birth mother, stepfather, maternal grandmother and my three younger half-siblings who I helped raise). My birth mother and stepfather were both physically, verbally, sexually and financially abusive towards me. My maternal grandmother, who relies on my birth mother and her husband for support, was a bystander who allowed the abuse to happen.

A few weeks ago I underwent a major surgery which has left me unable to walk for the next several months. Since I’ve returned home from the hospital, I’ve been having recurring dreams about them. This has never happened before — ever. I’ve never had recurring dreams about any topic/person back to back to back the way I’ve been dreaming about them.

I just woke up from a nightmare about them and I’m sick of this. I would love to have a night’s sleep where I don’t have to see or interact with them, especially so violently. In the dreams, I’m always the past version of myself when I was with them as opposed to the person I am now, even down to my hair and appearance. I feel like I’m trapped in the dreams as that version of myself. There was even a “scene” in one of the dreams where I am trying to walk away from them but my legs become numb and I can’t move.

Why is this happening? Why now? I don’t know what any of this means but I would like it to stop. Recovery from this surgery is already difficult; these dreams make it that much harder to rest.

30 enby femme, 5’2”, 133 lbs., non-smoker, non-drinker, diagnosed with bilateral hip dysplasia and underwent PAO on Monday 20 July 2026 for the left hip. I’m taking several narcotics at the same time, as well as my usual medications for ADHD, depression and anxiety.

My orthopedic surgeon told me this morning that “we should target today for discharge.” I stated I do not feel comfortable going home today due to 1) the amount of pain I’m in even with pain meds and 2) there is ZERO support at home. My insurance company denied personal care services/HHA services. I can’t be my own nurse when I need help getting to the toilet or in and out of bed or showering. Due to the medications I am hallucinating and delirious. I see double all the time, even as I’m typing this, so I have to close one eye to focus on typing. I get complicated migraines that mimic the symptoms of a stroke. I lose feeling in my left hand and foot. I have very little appetite and can’t hold real food down outside of crackers and plain bread.

I got a call from my insurance company yesterday stating that they approved me for rehab but the doctor tried to dissuade me from the rehab option, citing that rehab facilities in the city aren’t the greatest and I may not be able to rest the way I’m resting in the hospital (I’m barely resting in the hospital as I’m woken up several times in the middle of the night to draw blood, take meds, check vitals, etc.) The nursing staff here are kind and attentive, which I really appreciate.

The doctor says, “We can’t keep you here. You’ve been killing it with PT and OT.” I stated, “I’ve been pushing myself under your direction and now I’m in severe pain where I don’t feel like I can do PT today.” I stated that both Medicare and my insurance company advised that I can appeal the hospital’s decision to discharge me.

The doctor’s demeanor immediately changed and he became quite aggressive. He said, “No, no, no. You do NOT want to pursue an appeal. Not with me. Unless you want to pay thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars for the hospital stay. I’m going to write in your chart that you’re ready to go home so if you appeal it, you’re going to end up getting a hefty bill.”

It sounded like he was trying to intimidate me. I stated that I know my rights as a patient and appealing a discharge is one of my rights. My insurance company approved 11 days for the inpatient stay anyway, so why is my doctor being so hostile?

He stated, “if that’s what you want to do, go for it. I just know how this works better than you do. I’m going to talk to social work about this too.”

Separately, I asked if a nurse or a doctor could look into the infection in my mouth. It started after surgery and I was told it goes away after a day or two. I’ve been asking for someone to look into it since Wednesday and no one has come. The doctor said, “Not sure if we can help with that.” I stated, “Any assistance or support you can provide with this, I’d greatly appreciate it.” I also asked about pain management (as stated in the nurse’s progress notes from this morning) and the doctor said, “You can see one outpatient. We’re not doing that here.”

I also want to mention that I have not showered since the morning of my surgery (20th). The doctor said I could shower, but when I ask the nurses to assist me, they say, “we don’t see anything in your chart that says you can shower. You can’t get the incision wet.” I ask them to call the doctor or send him a message, and the response is always the same: “I sent him that message, let’s see if he responds.”

I am trying to hold myself together and advocate for my needs as a patient. I am only one person and it’s beyond difficult doing this alone. How can I properly advocate for myself when I haven’t slept, eaten a real meal in days, while hallucinating and I can’t even wash my ass??

Help.

My PAO surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning. I can’t sleep. I don’t have a family or support system, and I live on my own. I’m reorganizing my kitchen and bedroom to make everything easily accessible to grab and I stocked up on supplies.

I don’t feel “ready” for this procedure. I’m most concerned about going through recovery alone.

Life is lifing right now.

I have a major surgery scheduled next week and I’m honestly scared. The procedure is to remove a tumor, but that’s not the scary part. I don’t have family (they’re violently queerphobic and don’t acknowledge my existence or name) or a support system. I don’t even have an emergency contact I can put down for the surgery, which means I’ll have to stay in the hospital longer. I’m scared to go through this alone.

Right now I wish I had a mom I could call who would tell me that everything is going to be okay. Because right now, it doesn’t feel like it.

Life is lifing right now.

I have a major surgery scheduled next week and I’m honestly scared. The procedure is to remove a tumor, but that’s not the scary part. I don’t have family (they’re violently queerphobic and don’t acknowledge my existence or name) or a support system. I don’t even have an emergency contact I can put down for the surgery, which means I’ll have to stay in the hospital longer. I’m scared to go through this alone.

Right now I wish I had a mom I could call, who would tell me that everything is going to be okay. Because right now, it doesn’t feel like it.

Exactly what the title says. I’m 30F and living on disability (SSDI). Barely surviving on what disability pays me per month, and I live in NYC where the cost of living is too high. I am unable to work due to my medical conditions.

Has anyone in this community donated eggs? What was your experience like? Did you earn a lot of money from donating?