My current partner used to tell me all the time that I was incredibly kind and that's why he fell in love with me. Once, he did something really terrible, and afterward he even said he couldn’t believe he had done something like that to “the nicest person in the world.”
But for the past 2–3 years, mostly during arguments, he has been calling me almost the embodiment of evil. He says I have a victim mentality, that I’m a horrible and disgusting person. He weaponizes my past abusive relationship against me, degrading my experience. Which causes me to being reactive - it triggers me so much and he KNOWS it.
The thing is, after we argue, he’s the one who can go back to playing PlayStation, eating, sleeping, and carrying on with life as if nothing happened. Meanwhile, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t enjoy my hobbies, because the arguments affect me so deeply. Yea now I probably sound like a victim-mentality-pickme. I don't know anymore..

TLDR
Please, how do I know if I’m evil? How do I know if I’m a bad person? Please tell me how I can tell. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

I often get inspired by other women. I’ll see someone who looks amazing, notice what she’s wearing, and buy the exact same outfit, thinking, “This is finally going to be the one.”
But then reality hits. I wear it once, look in the mirror, and it just doesn’t feel right on me. I end up thinking it doesn’t suit me at all.
It’s like this with almost everything I buy. I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money on clothes that now just sit in my closet because I never wear them.
BD just sucks.

Do you do it on purpose to make it as loud as possible, or is it something you genuinely can’t control?
Whenever my husband sneezes, he somehow manages to yell at the same time. The cats practically hit the ceiling, and I jump every single time.
And it’s not just him. My dad, my stepdad, and all of my exes were exactly the same.

My current partner had wanted to buy his own apartment for a long time. After we’d been together for about a year (and had only been living together in a rented apartment for a relatively short time, his breakup with his ex dragged on for quite a while. She had nowhere else to live, so they continued living together for almost the entire beginning of our relationship) he finally bought one with a mortgage.

There was never any discussion about taking out the mortgage together - we had simply not been together that long, I wouldn't agree to get such a huge loan with a men that I know for a year.
While we were renting, we split the rent 50/50, and we also split groceries 50/50.
After he bought the apartment, the monthly mortgage payment plus utilities ended up being about 30% more expensive than our rent had been. Even so, he still wanted me to pay 50% of the mortgage-related monthly costs and utility advances, even though the apartment is entirely in his name and I’m not on the mortgage at all.
Technically, that makes me more like a tenant. My payments help reduce his mortgage costs while I’m building no ownership whatsoever. He promised that, at the very least, he would include me in his will so that if something happened to him, I wouldn’t end up on the street. Well, it’s been four years now, and that never happened.
Eventually, I simply couldn’t afford it anymore. We agreed that I would contribute less, but it caused huge arguments and nearly ended our relationship.
As for groceries and household supplies, I eat very little, and I buy my own personal cosmetics separately with my own money. We use a shared credit card, and every month we pay it off interest-free, splitting the balance 50/50.
The problem is that he’s a big, muscular guy. He eats a lot of meat, eggs, snacks, and other expensive food. He also buys tubs of protein powder and various supplements using our shared credit card, even though I don’t use any of those products.
One day I asked whether he could at least pay for his personal items separately, just like I already do. I don’t put my own personal purchases on our shared credit card either.

He completely lost his temper. His argument was basically: how dare I complain when he’s already letting me pay so little for my “rent”? Since he had supposedly done me such a favor, I had no right to criticize him for buying protein or supplements. In other words, I should just keep quiet and be grateful.

So tell me - where exactly is the 50/50 partnership here? Where is the fairness for both people?

Je to tady. Propast finančního dna.
Jednak jsem musela koncem roku ukončit svou 8letou kariéru ve firmě, neboť to bylo nadále neúnosné psychicky/zdravotně. Ne, prostě to nešlo hecnout. Už jsem to hecovala 2 roky a mám z toho autoimunitní onemocnění.
Za fucking půl rok jsem nenašla práci, kde bych měla stejný plat nebo klidně o 10k nižší, hlavně jiný druh práce. Neozvali se mi ODNIKUD než ze stejného oboru. Já od toho cukla že se do stejné práce, akorát pod jinou střechou, nevrátím.
Proč potřebuju peníze? Protože další shit - táhnu si z minulého vztahu obrovský úvěr. Vzala jsem na sebe nejdřív úvěr na auto ex, do toho jsem vše doma platila sama. Nezvládala jsem to tahat finančně a lepila jsem úvěrama závazky. Splátky, ani na to auto, mi neplatí. Nemusí, nebyli jsme manželé. Není smlouva a ani energie. Tohle řešit nechci, prostě to tak je. Pranýř taky nemá smysl, už jsem si ho zažila dost.
No teď jsem teda začala podnikat, než to začne šlapat, bude to trvat tak si září. Ale neměla jsem jinou možnost.
Žiju s přítelem a platím 15-20k měsíčně. Fuckin úvěry jsou cca 20 měsíčně. Můj momentální výdělek je 40.000 Kč.
Minus paušální daň 10.000 - Ano správně, nevychází to. Nevyšlo mi na daň.
Přítelovi říct nemůžu, nechci aby mě nenáviděl, nebo viděl jako prizivnici.
Co teď? Zabít se ? Zatím to říkám s nadsázkou, ale už chápu, proč někoho napadají takové myšlenky kvůli financím.

Are there any pole dancers here with lipedema?

I’ve noticed that I struggle with certain moves because of the pain, and I seem to progress more slowly than other students. It’s especially difficult with tricks where I have to grip the pole with my legs, particularly around the inner knees and inner thighs, where I have the most lipedema, as well as the front of my thighs.

I feel embarrassed because I’m always the only one who complains about the pain and has to stop the exercise. Nobody in my classes seems to know what lipedema is, so it’s hard for them to understand why it hurts so much for me.

How do you deal with this? Are some exercises forbidden for us?

I don’t know who I am anymore. My sense of identity is completely falling apart, and I’m starting to lose my grasp on what reality even is.

I don’t know what I actually look like. And I miss my old body. Something happened, and I’ve changed so much that even my phone’s Face ID doesn’t recognize me anymore (I am 31F).

Now I have trouble going to the gym because I always end up panicking that everyone is looking at me and judging me, so I always pay the entrance and than I leave. A few years ago, I went to the gym without any problem and my confidence was through the roof. I was STRONG like shi and had a very fit muscular figure...

Nobody insulted me or did anything to me, so what is happening? I don’t understand myself anymore.

And the thing is, it is true that people look at me. My friend didn’t believe me, but when we walked down the street together, she eventually admitted that people really do keep staring at me.

So please don’t tell me that people who say others are constantly staring at them are lying. Sometimes it’s true.

Do you think women tend to exaggerate it, or do you genuinely feel sympathy, take care of your partner when she’s on her period? Be honest pls

I have Hashimoto’s, diagnosed fairly recently at 31.

Almost all my life, almost every morning, when I have to get up “by force” (for work, for example), I feel completely dead. Setting ten alarms is pretty much my normal routine because I keep falling back asleep. I used to fall asleep during lectures at school, and even now I catch myself nodding off during meetings at work.

The best way I can describe it is that when I force myself to wake up, I feel almost intoxicated. I feel nauseous, unwell, and my whole body hurts. It’s like I’ve been beaten up overnight. Normal sleep like 6-8hours does this to me. Only 10-12-14 hours of sleep satisfy me - then I dont fall asleep randomly during the day....

Does anyone else experience this?

I’m just starting Euthyrox, so I’m hoping it will get better with time. How long did it take before you started noticing an improvement?

My [31F] boyfriend [32M] is the type of person who struggles when he doesn’t have control over something. I don’t mean that he monitors me in an obvious way… although maybe he kind of does.

For example, he’ll check the trash to see if I threw away something important, whether food I tossed was actually expired, whether a bottle of water was really finished before being thrown out, and things like that.

A few years ago, I accidentally washed his cashmere sweater at 60°C and it shrank. Ever since then, whenever I do laundry, he checks what temperature I’m washing things at. It’s like this in many areas of daily life. I end up feeling like an idiot who constantly needs to be monitored, corrected, and supervised.

Recently, my stove malfunctioned and we got into an argument. The outcome was basically that he feels like he can’t say anything to me because I’m too reactive and quick to get angry.

Today the situation was reversed.

In the morning he told me he had given one of our cats a shrimp-flavored pouch of food. The cat refused to eat it. We have two cats and each eats a different brand. About an hour later I looked at the food and it seemed different to me, so I asked him whether he might have accidentally given that cat the other brand instead.

He immediately got irritated, became sarcastic, raised his voice, and said that I never listen to him because he had already told me about it that morning. Then he said that I hate being controlled myself, so why am I “policing” him?

For the record, it was just a question, not criticism.

It turned into a huge argument. This time it was about how I’m doing the exact thing I complain about. He said he’s been making an effort to stop correcting and controlling me, and now I’m starting to do it to him instead.

It feels like there’s no winning. Somehow I always end up being the bad guy.

So what’s the solution? Am I supposed to become some smiling Stepford wife who never questions anything and just nods along? How am I supposed to know what will set him off? Am I really expected to analyze every sentence and every action before I speak, just to avoid making him angry?

Does this sound like manipulation, or am I missing something here?

TLDR:
My boyfriend often checks and corrects me over small things, which makes me feel constantly monitored. Today I asked if he might have given our cat the wrong food, and he got angry, saying I was doing the same thing to him that I hate him doing to me. It turned into a big argument, even though I was only asking a question. Am I missing something, or is this a double standard?

Partner je typ co nezvládá, když nemá nad něčím kontrolu. Není to myšleno tak, že by mě monitoroval. I když možná vlastně jo.
Prostě kontroluje třeba koš, jestli jsem nevyhodila něco důležitého, např. Jestli vyhozené potraviny jsou skutečně prošlé, voda dopitá do poslední kapky, apod.
Jednou jsem vyprala jeho kašmírový svetr na 60 a srazil se, je to cca 2-3 roky, ale od té doby, kdykoliv peru, tak kontroluje na kolik stupňů to dávám. A takhle je to ve spoustě aspektů fungování - cejtim se jak debil, který potřebuje být pořád kontrolován a opravován.
Nedávno mi bouchly kamna, tak jsme se pohádali. Výsledek byl, že mi nemůže nic říct a jsem hrozně výbušná.

Dneska se situace obrátila. Ráno mi vyprávěl o tom, že dál kočce kapsu s krevetama. Kočka to však odmítla sníst. Máme kočky dvě a každá žere jinou značku. Tak jsem se asi po hodině šla podívat, a maso mi přišlo jiné. Tak se ho ptám, jestli precijen nedal kočce tu druhou značku, co žere druhá kočka...
Partner se vytočil a začal být arogantní a zvyšovat hlas, že ho vůbec neposlouchám a ráno mi o tom říkal, a že sama nemám ráda kontrolu, tak proč ho buzeruju. Podotýkám že to byla otázka, ne výtka.
Zase z toho vznikla brutální hádka, tentokrát o tom, že sama dělám to co nesnáším. Že si dával pozor a teď mě přestal kontrolovat a opravovat, a začnu to naopak dělat já.
Prostě není vítěze. Zase jsem špatná já.

Jak je řešení? Být bostonská panička a prostě nic neřešit a usmívat se? Jak mám doprdele poznat, co ho vytočí? To mám přemýšlet prostě nad každou větou, aktem, aby se nenasral? Je tohle je nějaká manipulace??

In terms of the actual scene, Juliet’s death is the one that hurts me the most on every rewatch. It absolutely shatters my heart.

But overall, I feel the saddest about Jack. He did so much for everyone, and in the end, he just died. Yeah, I know life isn’t fair and everyone dies eventually, but Jack deserved to live and stay on the island.

I think the perfect fate for him would have been becoming the new Jacob. ❤️

Jak se vypořádat s lidmi, kteří říkají nějakou strašnou sračku v tématu, kterému ani nerozumí, zatímco vy jste třeba z oboru, a hádají se do krve za pravdu? (Popř. Jak nechytat "Rage")

Mě to enormně vytáčí a vzbuzuje to ve mně agresi.

Teď mě napadají třeba příklady:
Známý doma třídí odpad. Všimla jsem si, že dává do plastu plata od vajec. Když jsem se na to zeptala, tak prý že do žlutého kontejneru patří kartony. Říkám "No jo, ale to jsou třeba kartony od mlíka (některé kontaky to mají ve žlutém), ne papírové plato od vajec, je to lisovaný papír." - "Ne, prostě tam píšou kartony!"
- a nevysvětlíš to.

Pak třeba já jsem chovatel koček. Roky. Od dětství prostě máme kočky a troufám si říct, že s nima mám propojení skoro na duševní bázi. A zase ten známý mi tvrdí, že kočka když je nemocná, tak je prokázané, že dobrovolně spáchá sebevraždu skokem pod auto. Že to viděl na vesnici několikrát na vlastní oči. Že měli nemocnou kočku a ona se rozloučila a šla se zabít. Prostě sračka. A že já teda asi moc kočkám nerozumím, na to že je chovám roky...

...A mě to strašně vytáčí, i když je to blbost.
Máte to někdo taky ?

I know I’ll probably get roasted for this, but I was scared, so I took my very first dose of reta only 0.5 mg.

If I don’t feel any effects and it seems too weak for me, would it be okay to take another 0.5 mg in about 4 days? Or should I just wait the full week?

I am 80kgs 168cm, goal weight 67kgs

Hey,

So, I have Hashimoto’s disease (a thyroid condition), and despite dieting, going to the gym regularly for years, and doing aerial pole dance/acrobatic pole fitness, my weight either keeps going up or gets completely stuck.

I’m currently 81 kg (30-year-old woman), which is definitely not ideal for me. I’m constantly bloated and swollen, and I have many of the typical issues that come with being overweight.

I want to start taking reta, and I most likely will. The problem is that my boyfriend is strongly against it. He completely rejects GLP-based treatments, even for people with legitimate medical conditions. He’s been heavily influenced by anti-GLP propaganda and is convinced these medications are dangerous.

Realistically, if he found out I was using retatrutide, it could seriously threaten our relationship and possibly lead to a breakup.

Would you risk it? Should I hide it (it's quite risky as I need to hide it in the fridge lol)?

The worst one, my 10-year ex, used to tell me:

“Any man would throw you out of a window. You’re such a terrible woman.”

After we broke up, he also said:

“Every guy you’ve found since me has done nothing but fuck you and beat you.”

Those words still echo in my head because every man I’ve been with has physically hurt me.

What am I doing wrong? Is it my fault when it keeps happening? What kind of woman deserves to be hit by your opinion?

In my last and current relationship, physical violence happened once. Let me give you the context:

Years ago, my partner went through a period when he drank quite heavily and seemed to carry a lot of frustration. At the time, I was attractive, fit, and had good relationships with people at work. He hated that I laughed with one of my coworkers because we shared the same awkward sense of humor. He constantly accused me of having something with him. Then he became suspicious of another random coworker because I stood up for him when he was being bullied at work. And so on.

One year, on his birthday, he got drunk. The celebration itself was nice and the whole evening had gone well. When we got home, I refused to have sex because he was intoxicated and I wasn’t. To be honest, drunk people make me uncomfortable.

That triggered an avalanche.

For hours, all night until morning, he verbally abused me, calling me a whore, saying he regretted breaking up with his ex, telling me I was trash, filth, and every insult imaginable. It was horrible. He wouldn’t let me sleep, and he wouldn’t let me leave the apartment. I was completely mentally shattered.

After hours of this, with him repeatedly getting in my face, I finally snapped and slapped him.

He immediately hit me back with a full-force slap from a grown man.

He never did it again after that.

But I still don’t feel innocent. I don’t feel like the context excuses me. Part of me believes that I somehow bring this out in men, that I cause it somehow, and that my ex was right and ultimately won.

As a child, I lived in a pretty creepy old house where several people from previous generations of my family had died, mostly of cancer. There were also many pets buried in the garden over the years, they also mostly died of cancer.

The whole place had a heavy atmosphere. Death seemed to be everywhere. The house terrified me from childhood. There was always this feeling that you were being watched, that you weren’t alone, even when nobody else was in the house.

My mother experienced some strange things there too. One time she heard a door handle rattling by itself. Another time she saw what she describes as a horrible black apparition hanging upside down outside a window. It had no head. Even today she can barely talk about it.

The strangest thing that happened to me involved my guinea pigs when I was a child.

One day the weather was nice, so I put their wire cage outside in the yard so they could enjoy some fresh air and sunshine. About an hour later I went to check on them.

Both guinea pigs were dead.

They were lying DEAD next to the CLOSED cage.

I want to emphasize that the cage was completely closed. They couldn’t have squeezed through the bars. There was no obvious damage. Yet somehow both of them were outside the cage, dead, lying right beside it. No blood, just dead.

It’s been about 20 years and I still think about it sometimes.

What the hell could have happened?????

Hi,

I was finally diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease. I’ve gained a lot of stubborn weight, and my body feels inflamed and swollen.

With reta, I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m starting my treatment this week, and I have high hopes for it. I don’t know what else could help me at this point.

Has anyone else with Hashimoto’s had success with reta? What were your results?

I’m honestly starting to be afraid of going outside alone when I look beautiful - wearing nice makeup, hair, nice clothes....especially nice dresses, because it attracts too much attention.

I can feel people staring at me, especially men, oc. They keep doing the standard "cat call", god I hate it SO MUCH!!! But sometimes they even try to mock me.
For example, today a guy suddenly started laughing like a maniac while looking in my direction. That man has no idea how a stupid little interaction like that can affect someone’s entire day, or even influence their behavior in the future. For him, it was probably nothing, and he just went on with his day as usual. But for me - it makes me want to never leave the house again.
I came home feeling so humiliated that I started thinking maybe I should just never wear anything nice again.

The truth is, I often wish I could cover myself from head to toe and become invisible. At least then nobody would stare, judge, laugh, or make me feel like I’m being watched all the time....But it’s getting warm outside, and honestly, sometimes I just want to wear something beautiful without feeling uncomfortable or judged.

Does anyone else feel this way?😭