u/DefiantRanger9

Do I apologize?

Here is from her email:

“My scaling back in any way is a function of ME acknowledging my own limitations and desire to take care of my health in ways that don't leave me continually worrying about clients and their safety at night and on weekends. Stress impacts several of my medical conditions and I have to minimize it. Not knowing if you are going to hurt yourself or try to die in between so many of our sessions (not just this past 6 weeks) has been very scary and hard for me. Your depression is profound and chronic. I need to live not worrying about my clients too.”

They are for separate ish things but I’m sure all my issues overlap somehow. And I’m not sure how they bill for them. I see two per week.

I see a therpsist and they don’t really do anything about it. We talk about grounding and distracting. Doesn’t make it lessen at all.

I’m in my thirties and can’t find a ride to pick me up from a medical procedure that will use anesthesia. You cannot use a cab at UW it looks like, otherwise I would. Are there any alternative options? I don’t know who else to ask.

Or ways to make it quieter? I don’t want my downstairs neighbor to be disturbed.

She told me she has rejection sensitivity, and in the past when I’ve brought up things that were hard for me, she jumps to defending herself which doesn’t help me heal or process.

Or she says “so then why are you here” which for someone with abandonment wounds is really hard to hear each time i bring up something about her or her approach that was hard for me.

When i brought up something she said another time she said “most clients appreciate the honesty.”

So the resentment had been growing because I don’t have a space where I can discuss them with her. I’ve been seeing her for years and generally like her and am benefitting otherwise.

I don’t want my landlord to kill me.

I’ve never been in a relationship because of autism.

Normal people don’t like me because of autism.

I don’t like a lot of autistic people.

I’ve been in therapy and nobody can’t change my ableist beliefs, and I’m not sure I want to honestly.

Who else is embracing being alone? Does it get easier?

I’m starting my first job out of grad school in a medical social work position and I can’t stop having panic attacks and dreaming that I’m shot or killed lol.

I’ve never done this work before and nothing like this in my internships. I’ve always had a retail or call center
Job before this.

Can someone tell me what I should expect? Is it as chaotic as everyone says it will be. Should I decline the offer if I don’t feel very confident in my self or my skills? Oh I also have Asperger’s so yeah I’m prety sure I’m fucked.

I just graduated with my MSW degree and landed a really awesome opportunity. I’m 40 years old.

My parents still try to control me using the silent treatment so neither is talking to me for one reason or another. And they are generally unsupportive anyway, but I might have gotten a text in the past.

My brother is in prison and had told me to kill myself last time I spoke with him.

I’m pretty sure my one friend is on the spectrum as she never asks me about me and instead infodumps all this stuff about BTS so I know she won’t ask me or reach out or do anything even when I’ve told her or ask her to. When I’m direct with her, I just get one word responses anyway. “Huh.” “Ok.” “Cool.” I’m her only friend and stick around because I feel badly for her, but it’s definitely a situation where I give more than get.

My only other friend, who is closer to my best friend, recently messaged me “my heart is happier when you’re not in my life” and since I know this person for 20 years, I know we’ll make up at some point. Just probably not next week when I’ll need moral support for the job.

My therpsist is OOTO on leave.

I don’t know who else to share things with or why my life is such shit.

I enjoyed my hospice internship. I recommend anyone interning there if you can.

They want a list of all my prescriptions - is this common (or ethical). Also can I opt out of the Covid or flu vaccines. Thank you.

I’ve had this occur with more than one person in my lifetime (3-4 to be exact) so I don’t want to chalk this up to “just one individual” but it makes me feel bad and I never know how to respond.

It’s when they (in my opinion) use subtle, low key shaming to talk about my behavior with someone else? Is it supposed to be a social funny thing I’m missing?

For instance, part of being autistic to me means being very anxious which might look like negativity to someone else. We were on a boat tour that was going to make a stop halfway through, and I skipped going to the bathroom in the hopes of making it at the stop. But, there was a ton of people waiting already, so I told the person I’m with “omg I don’t think we’re going to make it on this boat and have to wait for the next!”

So she turns around and tells the strangers around us “I keep telling her to try to be positive! Ha ha! big smile* wouldn’t you at least like to try to be more positive, defiant ranger*?“** *

I sit there awkwardly, not sure if I’m supposed to respond to laugh or what.

Another instance was when I was out with my mother and she is religious and I am not and she met a fellow religious guy who quoted scripture to her and me, and then she turns around and tells him “Defiant Ranger doesn’t believe; can you believe that?? Can you try talking sense in to her.? It would be good for her instead of being so moody and crabby all the time.” I was standing right there. I always am lol.

It’s like the subtle shaming to control human behavior that gets to me. Or maybe I’m taking it too literally. Please advise.

I was selected for a role (pre background check) and in order for that contingent offer to be made, I had to fight tooth and nail to get three people to give me a letter of recommendation and a reference. Now for my VetPro credentialing, they are asking for references again. Except the problem is this is for a professional role, and the people that I already begged for a reference, are dragging their feet and busy and may not be available to give me another reference. So after all of this, I might not have anyone available at all. I don’t understand why they need to do this twice so I was hoping someone could explain. Thank you.