Some wrestling thing I wrote when I went 40+ hours with no sleep
I've never been a huge fan of JB. His character has always been boring to me. I liked his character more as a heel, but *man* did his in-ring suffer during his heel run. Since he didn't want to appeal to the crowd, he didn't do his big flashy moves, which wasn't a good idea. Something I like about the Young Bucks is that their in-ring is mostly the same as faces and heel, just their character and presentation. I wish that was seen with other wrestlers.
It's 1:00 am for me, so sorry if I sound like a rambling lunatic talking out of his ass. I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about. I feel awful because I had several caffeinated drinks why the FUCK did I do that?? Forget it, I'll just go on a big tangent until I fall asleep. Strap in, boys and girls!
I'm gonna be real, my favorite female wrestler in terms of in-ring is easily Mercedes Mone. She's small and isn't that physical imposing, but she fights *smart.* Whenever I watch a match with her, she's not physically overpowering her opponent, she's outsmarting them, waiting for openings and striking like a leopard. Injuring specific body parts repeatedly, exploiting weaknesses of individual wrestlers, evading and making them damage themselves, and kicking out of **everything.** My favorite female wrestler overall currently is Thekla, because her presentation and mic work is stellar, not to mention her in-ring is still pretty damn good. But man, in terms of fighting and wrestling, Mercedes is just on another level, bruv!
Oh yeah, and speaking of the Billy Goat, reading his negative reviews on cagematch is the funniest thing ever. Like, I get that his style might not be for everyone, but writing fucking essays on why he's the worst wrestler of all time is just ridiculous. Are we for real? Please, I beg of you, get popcorn, get some drinks, and go on Cagematch and read his zero/one star reviews. You will laugh so hard you look like Kenny Omega after Okada's elbow drop.
I don't know if this is a hot take or cold take (nor do I care) but man... I didn’t like Kenny vs. Okada on All In. Seeing Kenny sell for twenty seconds straight after every fucking hit was exhausting. It made him look so unbelievably weak and almost impossible to take seriously. And need I mention the Don Callis interference? Dear god. If this was a Takeshita vs. Kenny match, then I probably wouldn't be so harsh. But after the greatest quadrilogy of matches in professional wrestling?? Come on now. Somehow managed to make Kenny *and* Okada look weak. The last two or three minutes kicked ass, and I was like "oooh! It's getting awesome now! It's finally gonna-"
And then it ends.
*sigh*
On a more positive note, I actually went and saw my first AEW show in person recently(ish) and it was awesome! The building/crowd was small, so that helped reduce anxiety. I got middle-fingered by David Finlay when he was walking away after the Juice match because I yelled "they should neuter you!!!"
WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!!! THE BANG BANG GANG STOLE MY JOKE!! WHAT A FASCINATING COINCIDENCE THAT AFTER I SAY THAT AND IT CLEARLY GETS ACKNOWLEDGED BY SOMEONE AT THE COMPANY, THEY MAKE A WHOLE GODDAMN COMMERCIAL SEGMENT??? WHERE'S MY CREDIT??!?! IT WAS MY JOKE YOU FU
Nah it's chill im probably just losing my mind. I haven't seen the newset Dynamite btw, please don't spoil it. I hate having matches spoiled. My favorite aew match of all time is Bucks vs. Swill Strictpreay (get it? Its like a combonation) and aside from the beautiful choreography and viciousness, what made the match so good is that there were like 26 near-falls and I bought like all 26. Especially due to the high stakes in both the story of the EVP power abuse, and Swerve questioning his own morality. If I already knew the ending, all of those dope 2.999 counts would be EMPTY. Because I'd already know the ending, so why the fuck would I believe Excalibur when he says "WE HAVE A NEW AEW CHAMPION!!" When I know we don't because some asshole spoiled the match.
I wish I didn't have Bandido vs. Takeshita spoiled. That match was sick as hell. My first exposure to Bandido was his godawful program with Learning Tree Chris JeriFRAUD. I didn't take him seriously at all after that. So when I heard he had an ROH match with Takeshita, I was shocked and intrigued. "Huh? The dude who fought Jericho? Uhhh... sure. This match might be neat." But before I got to, someone spoiled it. That made me mad. But anyway, I was blown away. That match was easily top 5 of the year for me, and made me realize "okay, holy shit, Bandio is fucking awesome actually."
God, I'm glad we actually have Chris Jericho being himself instead of a clown. Yeah, his character currently is corny, but I'd take it over the L*arning Tr*e. WOW! WHY???? I love the fact that after people rightfully bashed the character, they added "TV Time With Jericho" to make fun of the (justified) haters. Like, you knew nobody liked that, but ya just kept him in, huh? The only thing I loved about it is that it started a joke with me and my dad. For some reason, we act like Brian Keith can solo fiction. "Oh yea, Goku is strong, but can he beat Bad Apple Brian Keith? He can't? DIDN’T THINK SO!!!"
I love having random running gags with friends and family. In the lore established between me and my dad, we have agreed that, Brian Cage got shredded by eating PB&J waffles and pasta*, Don Callis is a closeted homosexual who just wants a faction to have tons of big hunky men at his side, Jake Doyle exists because Mark Davis underwent cellular mitosis, Kangaroo Kicks is the most powerful wrestling move of all time, AEW wrestlers being bald is a political statement (don't ask, just go with it), aforementioned running gag of Brian Keith being Omniversal+ on powerscaling, and Griff Garrison is married to every single wrestler. **ALL. OF. THEM.**
Fuck this, I'm goinmg to bed. Tireed as fuck. My eylids feel fee ff f imgg