u/Different-Secret-927

I met someone in one of my high school classes recently and after a few days of us meeting she kept telling me what she thought of me but it felt strange because she never really tried to ask me about myself or my experiences. She said she was very good at psycho analyzing people and bragged that she could do it within days but is that really possible even if you haven’t known them at all? Is this a sign that she was very intelligent and I need to improve my emotional intelligence to understand?

I mostly use maladaptive daydreaming as a way to cope with shame and disgust I have with myself and my appearance by imagining different characters either based on real people I look up to or loosely based off of traits and looks or a personality I wish I had. But recently I’ve felt conflicted and had issues with some fictional characters I made up. It’s almost as if I feel envy towards them in day to day life as If they were real people. Although I know logically that the characters I make in my head aren’t real people I often feel as much envy toward them as I would for a normal person which feels kind of weird.

For example if I’m daydreaming about a character with the looks and personality I wish I had and I see something that reminds me of their interests that I know they would love I will actively refrain from that hobby since I associate it with them and it reminds me that I can’t ever measure up to them or their talents. Or I will actively compare myself to them.

Has anyone else experienced this or had issues almost feeling conflicted with themselves in not pursuing certain situations or hobbies that remind them of their characters?

And it worsening their self hatred or insecurity as i notice I also wish to change myself to emulate their characteristics more. I love maladaptive daydreaming as I find it a way to live out my fantasies but this issue has made it a bit less enjoyable. I apologize if this sounds stupid or strange I don’t know if I articulated this well.

I know it’s technically impossible to reach a black hole with modern technology. But if somehow we were able to reach one and someone volunteered to enter it would their experience be any different than if they were sober entering? For example, if they went into a black hole on DMT and shrooms so they would be in a different state of mind when they enter, as they are being dissolved, would the experience likely be any different than if someone who was sober entering a black hole? Could the pain be processed differently or the visuals around them be interesting and maybe even alter how long it feels for them to be near the black hole, although they would still die. 

This has happened for years as he often doesn’t want to own up to how his actions drive people away and how he purposely hurts others and then expects them to help him, but he’s been guilt-tripping me for not wanting to be around him and it’s exhausting.

To give context, as an adolescent he would often pressure me to assume the role of his partner emotionally by saying things like Your mother doesn’t help me, so I need you. I have no one else with a pouty face and this mostly applied to massages. And later on, he would also ask me advice about his marriage and threaten to leave the family to make me feel upset if I didn't give him advice. 

It was as if he saw me and my mom in the same way emotionally, which was stressful, since if he was upset with her, he would take it out on me and would treat us in the same manner and have conversations about intimate details of their relationship with me.

After that, I didn’t want to be around him because I found the way he treated me very odd and most times he was emotionally abusive. After, he and my mother stopped talking often, though he would turn around and mock me. I have very young siblings, and he would comfort them while saying at least someone still loves me, as if he wasn’t emotionally abusive and toxic toward me. He tries to act like a victim when I want to be distant from him.

He even paints a picture for friends that he’s a great father, yet he leaves out a lot of his abuse toward my mother and us. For instance, it would be common for him to make remarks shaming my mother for not wanting to be intimate with him in a vulgar way in front of us and, at worst, one time, getting drunk and threatening to take my mother's life. Which was followed by talking to me explaining that he did that because of his sex life with her.

I've accepted the fact that he may never own up to his mistakes and that he would likely just claim I don’t love him and shame me, but I find it infuriating how he acts that way, as if he didn’t essentially create that for himself. Is this a common behavior for narcissistic parents and do they ever truly stop?

Lately l've considered going no contact with my father. Over the years he was supportive financially but very emotionally abusive toward my mother and i feel like some aspects of our relationship growing up was not normal.

For instance as an early teen when he and my mother’s relationship had been most intense he often told me that I needed to help him emotionally because he had no one else. Often asking for foot massages or back rubs telling me he needed my help because my mother wouldn't help him and stuff. And he often confided in me with his relationship issues and would ask me for advice and if I didn't give him advice he would shame me and threaten to leave the family since I was the oldest child and had to help him he claimed.

It was also like he saw me and my mom as the same emotionally like when he was upset with my mom he would take it out on me and compare us constantly yet vent to me. And shame me for wanting to be distant with him or being uncomfortable when he had anger outbursts and trying to convince me that others were at fault. Like once when he was drunk he threatened my moms life pacing the house for hours yet expected me to forgive him instantly or I was being unfair and told me personal intimate details of their relationship and why he was upset. That was one of the worst times but was a frequent behavior.

And years later as my parents got more distant he stopped confiding in me and venting but would treat me as almost non existent compared to my siblings. He would show them a lot of affection while acting indifferent toward me and dismissing my emotions which is kind of ironic since as a grown man he wanted emotional support from me but barley gave any.

I feel kind of upset with myself because I realize now what he was doing was likely some kind of enmeshment and a way for him to get some kind of supply short term. And I hadn’t realized until my late teens and I felt kind of ashamed of myself. But I would also like insight into the best way to go no contact or move on since counselors have kind of invalidated this

When my mom gets a chance she loves coming around me to purposely make me feel unfomfortable and mock me about my depression or low self esteem. Although she stayed with a man who threatened to take her life she literally mocks me about my low self esteem and gaslights me about the stuff she’s said. And will tell others incomplete stories explaining my depression but leaving out the fact how she put my dad above most things and stayed with him even after he became violent to her and shamed me for wanting them to separate as a concerned child even looking back that was probably what would’ve been best.

They are still together even after he threatened to kill her once when he was drunk and she still comes to me and mocks me for my depression and forces herself around me to make me feel uncomfortable and to gaslight me if I even slightly reference what she’s said that’s strange.

I honestly don’t even think she cares when she’s happy she puts on this act and such but when she’s mad at me she says very insulting things and then lies to me if j would bring it up and loves to use my younger siblings ans telling them different stories of what’s happened between us to get them against me and use them to uphold her image. I feel like what’s he’s doing is wrong and I wish she would just stop it’s been over a decade of it

I’ve noticed in America that sometimes people are expected to smile most of the time and have gone out of their way to tell people to smile or be very bothered when they don’t smile to them even if they aren’t close or know each other and I would just like some insight into why this is a social expectation. Since I find how social norms vary in different places interesting and cool to learn about in general. And why others may go out of their way to comment constantly even if you aren’t being rude to them and just being polite otherwise. I’ve mostly seen this happen to people at work.

I’ve noticed sometimes that some people in my life who were the most manipulative and inconsiderate expected total respect and loyalty from me and others with no regard for their own behavior. But it makes me wonder why they would act like that when over time it may just push people away or make them distrust them more once they realize the pattern in their behavior?

If someone had psychosis lasting almost a year how long would it take to fully recover especially if it left them feeling empty after and like they didn’t know themselves?

I am not trying to diagnose myself at all since I am unsure what happened or what caused it but I had an experience lasting almost a year where I saw hallucinations and had intense delusions that others were stalking me and trying to hurt me even hearing conversations constantly of ways people were trying to harm me.

The hallucinations ranged from seeing shadow fairies to a man like figure standing watching me. And I feel a bit ashamed that even though I went in medication for a couple months and felt seemingly fine after I haven’t been able to restore my sense of self and right after I felt empty and exhausted from it. its been about 3 years and I just realized that right after I was kind of just copying others socially since after It was hard to reintegrate. And I’m wondering if this is a bit shameful to take this long and I still haven’t fully understood why it happened or been able to feel fully the same again as before it happened.

I had what I believe may have been some kind of mental breakdown from 2021-2022. began having intense delusions such as believing that my neighbors were stalking me or that people were talking about how they would harm me very gruesomely. I also became very depressed and started seeing a range of hallucinations. Like for instance shadow fairies that skidded across my floor and a tall dark man wearing a hat in my closet.

I finally realized it was too much to bear and told someone so I could get help. And got prescribed medication but I had trouble integrating into daily life so I just copied others and kind of lost my sense of self. I haven’t seen these hallucinations in years or has this happen again but this was the most terrible experience I’ve had so far.

And I’ve found that this experience delayed my development and caused me to not underhand social stuff since I was so detached that time. Like I finally realized as a late teen that people don’t actually connect with one another truly and that most things are based on superficial things and I feel deeply ashamed and stupid for taking so long to understand this. And honestly I feel like this experience has left me a shell of myself form the hallucinations to the delusions it was horrifying. And I still feel like I didn’t get the chance to fully find myself and learn stuff others did at that age since that happened. Although have tried to improve and such I just can’t stop feeling so ashamed of myself.

I have been wondering if there is a way to make an agreement with a demon to improve yourself physically or mentally. And would there be any preparation to take before doing this?

About a year ago I met someone who at first seemed very kind but later on I found out that they were just collecting information to use to hurt me. She believed I was depressed and made up stories to try and get close once telling me how she used to self harm which I later found out was a lie and she said stuff like I used to be like you even though we didn’t know one another well.

I feel stupid and I am so angry at myself but also hurt. What hurts most is knowing that they did that be they saw me as naive and vulnerable. It was very disturbing finding out they had lied about self harm and also finding out that they had viewed me in a way from the beginning where they saw my vulnerability as something that could benefit them socially. Does anyone have any tips on how to forgive myself I feel honestly stupid for not knowing most of what she said was a lie.

I still cant understand why she felt the need to lie about self harm and be so manipulative since we barley knew one another and she claimed she cared about me yet would be really rude and passive aggressive to put me down and didn’t think of how it would affect me.

I feel really confused lately. Especially since the adults around me has an abusive relationship but they would shame me for having low self esteem over and over.

Like one of them was abusive to another and one time after lashing out and threatening her when he was drunk he expected me to be nice to him the day after and acted like I was being spiteful for being upset with him yet he did that for hours at night pacing the house with a weapon around my younger siblings. And that was the worst time and only happened once but there was also emotional abusive between them and I believe a trauma bond. And most time it was normal.

But now when they realized that I had very low self esteem they just shame and mock. me repeatedly and also Is it normal for an adult to stay in an abusive relationship with children yet shame them for having low self esteem? Since I think their relationship issues contributed to it.

A few months ago I met a person who bragged about how they could read people really well and how they read the 48 Laws of power.

At first she started out acting like she knew me well and telling me assumptions like they were the truth without even asking about my personal experiences. But this was after just two days of meeting so instead of feeling like she was trying to connect if felt invasive. Then after she lashed out she would try to put on a nice act and reach out to me instead of taking accountability of acknowledging her actions.

She would also try to convince me over and over how she was so genuine and that I could trust her yet I saw her talking about others behind their back and being nice to their face repeatedly.

But I don’t get why she continued doing this since instead of making me trust her more this just made me view her in a negative way. And time after time she would continue.

Also there was this strange way she would put me down and yet seek my attention. Like making comments on my appearance and giving unsolicited advice. But yet still went out of her way to reach out after which didn’t make sense to me to treat someone as less than yet still try to be near them.

For example once when I was just collecting my paperwork and gathering my stuff she walked over to me with a friend and demanded me over and over to move to be near her (mind you we weren’t even close) and after I told her I didn’t want to multiple times she attempted to make me move by grabbing me and grabbing my stuff. Even after I just stayed where I was and calmly told her to stop she seemed to not be able to understand how it was strange to say the least how she treated me as if I was less than her but went to those lengths to get me to be near her or acknowledge her.

I don’t understand what causes some people to continue acting like this when it just makes people lose trust in them. If anyone knows the purpose can they please explain to me? And also explain what the point of her bragging about her skills from the beginning was?

A few months ago I met a person who bragged about how they could read people really well and how they read the 48 Laws of power.

At first she started out acting like they she me well and telling me assumptions like they were the truth without even asking about my personal experiences. But this was after just two days of meeting so instead of feeling like she was trying to connect if felt invasive. Then after she lashed out she would try to put on a nice act and reach out to me instead of taking accountability of acknowledging her actions.

She would also try to convince me over and over how she was so genuine and that I could trust her yet I saw her talking about others behind their back and being nice to their face repeatedly. i decided not to share too much personal stuff which I’m thankful for now

But I don’t get why she continued doing this since instead of making me trust her more this just made me view her in a negative way. And time after time she would continue.

Also there was this strange way she would put me down and yet seek my attention. Like making comments on my appearance and giving unsolicited advice. But yet still went out of her way to reach out after which didn’t make sense to me to treat someone as less than yet still try to be near them.

For example once when I was just collecting my paperwork and gathering my stuff she walked over to me with a friend and demanded me over and over to move to be near her (mind you we weren’t even close) and after I told her I didn’t want to multiple times she literally attempted to make me move using her own body weight and grabbed my stuff. Even after I just stayed where I was and calmly told her to stop she seemed to not be able to understand how it was strange to say the least how she treated me as if I was less than her but went to those lengths to get me to be near her or acknowledge her.

I don’t understand what causes some people to continue acting like this when it just makes people lose trust in them. If anyone knows the purpose can they please explain to me? And also explain what the point of her bragging about her skills from the beginning was?

Someone close to me went through an emotionally and physically abusive relationship around me as a child yet they often shamed me for my low self esteem when I got older.

Like when they noticed how low my self esteem was which I think is strongly impacted by my environment and seeing the emotional abuse take place I feel sort of conflicted because they often claimed I was inconsiderate but I feel a bit upset since as a child growing up around that and being told that it was for the best?

And they won’t even acknowledge how their relationship impacted how I felt about myself and what I thought was ok in relationships. Like for instance instead of addressing how that contributed they just shame me over and over for how lowly my self worth and esteem is.

Does anyone have any advice or input?