u/Evening_Gazelle_5848

Assalam o alaikum everyone.

If you are expecting me to tell you that everything is always for the better (which it is) then this isn't that kind of post.

I'm here to tell you my own story, to kinda prove that grass is never greener on the other side. Sometimes the best thing really is not knowing. I know your heart is aching for an answer but trust me if you don't know, then allah is protecting you.

How can i say this? Because it happened to me. Something that i've desperately wanted for so long, prayed for and wept in duas like never before, put my whole heart and being into asking allah for it. I was even so incredibly hopeful that it would happen that i started looking for signs EVERYWHERE and i found them so i thought this must be by allah's decree and it means allah has accepted my dua. I was 110% convinced it was going to come true and was just waiting for it to happen bcs i had trust in Allah that it was going to be what i wanted.

Guess what? It didn't. Not only did I not get what i wanted, but i got the "worst" possible outcome as in totally opposite to what i had been praying for. Not even a middle ground not even a "good enough" no it was horrible. Compeltely disastrous. It has broken me inside and you know the actual worst part?

I know this was better for me. I know EXACTLY what allah wants for me, what he's planned for me and why he did this. I understand the wisdom behind this, that this was the best way to get the thing that i actually wanted most in life. Because you see what i prayer for was one singular goal, it was just a rose but allah is trying to give me a garden by closing the door of the one rose for me. I know what Allah wants me to do and even though it hasn't been any time passed since it happened, i'm not grieving it but instead looking forward on how to properly do what Allah wants me to.

You might think that wow allah tested me yet he gave me clarity in the exact same time, maybe i had this clarity even before, when i was still making those duas. You might think it might be an ideal situation to be in, that Allah gave me a pathway to get the dream life i want AND has made it clear to me, but that's far from the truth. I also know why Allah made it so clear to me, it is in his wisdom and understanding that allah knows the pain of uncertainty would weigh too heavy on me and he does not burden a soul more than it can bear.

Allah told me exactly what i needed to do and that's exactly what i'm fearing the most right now. How do i do it properly, what exactly should i do, in what way should i approach it, should i do it now or wait for some time etc. Hundreds of questions going through my mind right now.

Allah is tearing apart even the last thread that i was holding onto, so that i can learn to stand on my own feet with trust in allah's sovereignity and protection.

However it's easier said than done. It's as if allah is asking me to tear my soul completely apart and everything that i have ever known so he can give me the one that i've actually wanted and needed. It's incredibly hard, i want to flee away, i want to run away instead of confronting and doing what Allah wants me to do but if i don't do it now, then i'll forever be stuck in the same place forever. I have to face my biggest fears and prepare myself mentally for a scenario i would've never expected but i believe and trust in Allah.

This is to tell you that sometimes when you don't know something, you're desperate to make sense of it and you can't think of any way that what actually happened is better than what you wished for, so from someone that DOES know exactly how it is better for me even though it is completely against what i had desperately hoped for, it's the same.

Nothing changed, i'm still as miserable (going through the feeling of hardship) as i was in situations where i didn't know what Allah had planned for me.

Allah knows best and he has decided that it's best for me to know, and Allah knows best and he had decided that it's best for you to not know now. May Allah forgives us all and grant us Jannah. I hope this could be helpful to someone out there that it may resonate with.

I'm so ??? suprised lol i always thought wonhee is 100% an only child but i randomly thought abt it and searched it up but apparently she has an older brother who's like almost a year older than her. Idk why i always head canoned wonhee as an only child like that just made sense to me 😭😭

Something that I’ve always admired in others is their undeniable concrete belief in themselves. When someone wrongs, belittles or disrespects them, their automatic reaction is to feel offended, and they don’t have to think twice about feeling so. They don’t think whether they deserve to feel wronged or not; they don’t stop and think that maybe that insult might be true, or that they may be deserving of less. They don’t have to mentally choose in their head whether it is appropriate to speak up for themselves or not. They just go straight for it, standing their ground and shutting down any attempt at disrespecting them. It’s like nature to them, as if it’s common sense. They defend themselves with such conviction that even others can’t help but take their side.

They can be very kind as well, but they never allow someone to raise a finger at them. They are so strong and brave, as if completely ready to fight any battle against anyone if it means prioritising themselves. I wonder if it’s the result of being chosen like that by others so much that it automatically becomes like second nature to you. To exist so unapologetically and be so sure of yourself to an extent that you would put your self-respect over any relationship.

If that is not the case, then maybe they have been the ones constantly choosing themselves, training themselves so that their response is automatic. To not be foolish and realise that you have flaws and shortcomings, and still realise your worth beyond it all. Not accepting it out of frustration but fully embracing that those parts are just as yours and deserving of being loved as all the polished, easy-to-admire ones. To never doubt your presence and yourself. To be able to go beyond logic and everyone else for yourself and go and prove it. Such unshakeable confidence, belief and respect for yourself.

I know a lot of people might not understand nor find it relatable but i still want to say it because it's something that resonated with me deeply. As someone with adhd, when is see someone else succeeding and rightfully so when it's deserved because they've worked hard for it, i kind of feel an envy towards them not because of their success but because of their ability to work hard. I envy it when someone can say that they will prove the people who doubted them wrong and they do by their hard work. It just feels so unfair because i want to hard work too, that's not the problem at all, i want to succeed and i want to deserve my success but i'm not able to because of my executive dysfunction. To be able to give your absolute best at something, and show how badly you want it, even that seems like a privilege to me. I wish i could work hard. I wish i could be one of those people who can feel confident in themselves because they've worked hard enough to prove that they deserve to be. What about people like me, who can't prove the people who doubted them wrong? Are we just destined to feel pathetic? And useless? It feels unfair to me. It's easy for people who don't suffer like me, they think the real problems is being lazy and wanting everything without doing anything but how do i explain that that's not the case, i WANT to work hard i WANT to work my ass off but i am unable to do so. Just feeling frustrated and wrote a rant (all in good faith).

Everyone first noticed it when they put seonghyeon shirtless in one of the photoshoots and i was so suprised to see barely any backlash. Like yes people were calling it out but like??? Nobody was really talking seriously and most people were just gushing at it. I expected there to be serious discourse and stuff but there was nothing.
It wasn't just a one time issue though, in lots of photoshoots they're styled very exposedly and i don't know if i'm the one who's being weird about this but like... they're barely 18. The fans eat it up every single time too. At the start, people still used to have boundaries and be more respectful of their ages but it feels like nobody cared anymore about it and they go on to sexualise them however they want even in mainstream spaces. It's like the people in charge don't even care nor do they think it's a problem which is coming true cus no one really seems to point it out. Everyone is protective of them getting criticism because of their age but why not this? I feel like it's fair to say that it's not right. Idk maybe i'm reaching but that's what i think.

Everyone first noticed it when they put seonghyeon shirtless in one of the photoshoots and i was so suprised to see barely any backlash. Like yes people were calling it out but like??? Nobody was really talking seriously and most people were just gushing at it. I expected there to be serious discourse and stuff but there was nothing.
It wasn't just a one time issue though, in lots of photoshoots they're styled very exposedly and i don't know if i'm the one who's being weird about this but like... they're barely 18. The fans eat it up every single time too. At the start, people still used to have boundaries and be more respectful of their ages but it feels like nobody cared anymore about it and they go on to sexualise them however they want even in mainstream spaces. It's like the people in charge don't even care nor do they think it's a problem which is coming true cus no one really seems to point it out. Everyone is protective of them getting criticism because of their age but why not this? I feel like it's fair to say that it's not right. Idk maybe i'm reaching but that's what i think.

Katseye was the first group i ever properly stanned, usually i was a super casual fan of other groups but they were the ones that made me actually want to tune in. I don't remember when it happened but suddenly my feed started being filled with katseye videos. I've been into kpop before them so i thought to check them out. They literally seemed perfect. They had the most gorgeous visuals, really nice music (gabriella, my way and gameboy) and most of all, their personalities were so insanely entertaining. I remember how many inside jokes the eyekon fandom had during that time and how everyone was so joyful. Toxic eyekons and controversies were very prevalent then aswell but not at all how it is now. I don't know if this is just how it normally goes with a group and this is what happens everytime with a group but it was all new to me. It wasn't that long ago, but looking back, everything has changed so much. Every single day there's a now controversy and literally every single breath and step the girls take is being so closely monitored and analysed. I love the girls even now, don't get me wrong, but it's very clear all this hate train and everything had also taken a toll on them and now they're a little hesitant to show that fun side of them again that made everybody obsessed with them in the first place. I remember when internet girl was released and it became a really big thing, but at that time i just thought "It's fine, everything will be back to normal once they release a good song that everyone loves again." But nope, not at all. The hate train just continued and i would've never imagined a drama like manon's hiatus happening. I'm not too deep into it but just a saw a post where they were talking about manon's personality and that really made me realise. A lot of people say it was cause the group gained too much popularity too fast which i agree but i also think a lot of the foul stuff that happened could be avoided idk. There's still lots of fun and everything, i just miss that vibe and how it was before. I really enjoy watching them and tried to keep up with the news but there were like a million different theories and scandals and whatnot every day that i kinda distanced a bit. Still love the girls, still looking forward to wild! Just my opinion and perspective on what i think! Wish the best for everyone.

Hello everyone! I'm a teenager looking to understand more about arfid and understand whether i may have it or not.

There are many reasons i think i may have arfid.

\-I often starve myself if there is a lack of foods that j like. I would be very hungry but if there is no food that i like and can bear, and only food that i don't like, then i'd just not eat.

\-I hate the texture, smell, look and just the mere existence of certain food (many, unfortunately also ones that are eaten regularly in my household) so much so that i can barely bear to even look at it or be in the same room as it, let alone actually try to eat it.

\-In the past, i have forced myself to eat foods that i did not like but it's so difficult for me that i feel like vomiting it the second i put it in my mouth. I had another encounter where i was forced to eat something that i didn't like by someone else, and i gagged so bad that i almost spit it out but i had to swallow it.

\-I love fruits, but i hate vegetables. The only one i can tolerate is potatoes but they are unfortunately not very healthy so not possible.

\-i don't avoid food because of the fear of being sick, that's not something i can relate to at all.

\-Unfortunately, my "safe foods" are all fast food, some healthy dishes but they aren't cooked often in our household, bread, moyannaise, all type of sweet food, and fruits. So this has led to me being very very weak and not having proper nutrients at all. I am severely iron deficienct aswell which makes me dizzy and causes lots of problems aswell. (I am so deficient in so many others things aswell that whenever there is a health problem, i cannot understand from which one it stems.)

\-as i said, i am iron deficient. Heavily so. But unfortunately i don't like iron rich foods. I don't like red meat, eggs, certain vegetables and all the foods that are there. So i can't fix that either which is a big problem for me.

\-I used to take lots of supplements, but they did not help. I currently don't take nay supplements.

\-I do feel hunger, but also feel full after just a few bites of eating. And drinking water, even just a glass makes me so full that i can barely eat anything.

\-my family assumes and always says that i'm a very picky eater, but what i've noticed is that picky eaters CAN eat food they don't like if they're hungry enough, they just don't want to. But for me, it's impossible.

\-There is so so so much disgust and dislike in me for a food i don't like that i'd rather starve and faint than eat it. The replusion is so incredibly strong it overpowers any willpower or literally anything that could convince me to just eat the food.

I apologise if this got too long, but these are all experiences that i've had. And i'm looking to seriously improve my health because it is too bad now. I cannot do anything at all and it's taking a big toll on my life. So i want to look for the issue and fix it. If you are someone with diagnosed arfid, i'd love if you could share your opinion on this! Thank you!