u/Fennel_Fangs

…is hard.

I can’t write a story with a conflict, because people will get upset about bad things happening. I can’t write a story without a conflict, because people will get upset that the plot isn’t interesting enough. I can’t make the MC a straight cis white male, because people will complain that it’s not woke enough. Yet I can’t make the MC anything else, because people will complain it’s too woke. I can’t write genre fiction, because people will turn down their noses and say it’s not smart enough. I can’t write literary fiction or nonfiction because people will say it’s boring.

Can someone help me write a book that everyone in the universe is guaranteed to like it?

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I initially commissioned Lauren to give me a live feed of Twilight Sparkle and her adventures while I was engaging in my post-sun-raising relaxation. But apparently she also set up cameras in my palace? And the cameramen were following me around more often??? Is this a violation of my own privacy?

When he’s looking a little green around the grills.

See, this was back in the days before modern medicine, so their idea for how to treat infections involved lopping off the infected flesh, tossing it in a barrel of salt to kill the germs, and then selling it as meat.

Their motto? “We cure what ails ya!”

So I’m kind of in search of my next watch. I‘m in love with the animation of Castlevania, but I’m not in the mood for something that dark and serious right now. Is there anything that balances the gorgeous aesthetics of, say, Freiren or The Apothecary Diaries with the humor of What We Do in the Shadows or Smiling Friends?

And before you recommend Bluey: I have watched the whole series.

It's about a pair of talking donuts who try and solve historical murders.

Their first case is going to be JonBeignet Ramsey.

Well, I was setting out my dice and... sheets, and... and all my fellow party members came in and beat me up. Called me a little baby. Broke my pencils. Kicked me in the groin and bonked me on the head. Broke my Warcraft 3 CD and cut me up all over my body. And they burned me alive and they pushed me down the stairs and my shoes fell off.

Help would be appreciated.

“Bak-bak-bak-BAKAAAAA!!!”

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First it was Jellycat basically limiting themselves to various Bashful Bunny recolors. Then Sylvanian Families started getting recalled for small parts. And now Build-a-Bear’s getting flak for using AI in its corporate Powerpoints.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING I TOUCH DIE???

…actually, upon further inspection, it’s called a crucifixion.

It’s basically the old “girl/squirrel” trend, but more applicable to our humble fandom.

My choice: “Welcome to the Hotel Castlevania / Such a lovely night, come and grab a bite…”

“Run, forest, run!”