u/ForwardAd3970

I have such a toxic mindset that’s literally all or nothing. It can range from isolate myself and solely just revise, get rid of my boyfriend so I don’t have an extra thing to worry about and laser focus on what matters. It’s toxic, I know it is and I’m relapsing the same ruthless mentality I had in GCSEs where I shattered my exes heart, cut everyone of my friends off near exams and literally disapeared from bane existence, in my toxic self improvement and ‘lock in, ghost everyone and then come back best version of yourself”.

Ironically, Fue to the flop I realised I wasn’t being who I was and my spark after the consultation with my sociokogy teacher ‘if this was (my name) from the start she would’ve wanted that A. I don’t know what happened to that spark”. My work ethic has been thrown out the window and I was questioning if it was burn out or me just being lazy. I feel my old mentality just bubbling up into the surface but at that version of me was also the one that crashed down the most.

I need this change, after today I was ghosting my boyfriend because I just didn’t want to see him whoch was for 5 days. I can’t just do that, my friend said that and he was deeply concerned (he’s an abosukte sweetheart too). Im so shit at balancing that in my mind, it’s ethier be al cuddly and settle down or get out a relationship and let that ambition consume me so I can thrive and push forward.

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I got uni applications soon, I plan on doing a gap year since I’ve been flipping academically so my predicted grades aren’t the best, however I was thinking hetween these two paths
Is it achievable from how niche/specialist a menta health nursing degree is? I’ve heard of conversions but still am a bit unsure

I’m a controll freak, I literally haven’t been studying just because I want THIS pomodoro timer instead of others 😭
Is there a way we can somehow get the developers to actually start this? I’ve tried emulators, and all shit but my windows laptop aong capable of handling it

In college I’m literally doing so bad. It’s 1st hear and I haven’t revised, like at all for some reason. I never study for any my tests, I failed my mock and got a u - I’m just doing so shit and for some reason, I don’t care. I made a Tik Tok account to try motivate me to change and study but I still can’t find a reason to keep moving, I just feel numb. It’s the same wity HW, I’m overdue, my teacher has lost my trust too and still, I’m hiccuping and repeating the same mistakes.

Usually, I would feel the fear from my first mistake and won’t elt it happen again, but I’ve gotten to the point where I’m apathetic. My predicted grades are probabaly CDU yet I don’t care? Why? I used to be so ambitious.