u/Glittering_Ad2771

I'm having trouble wrapping my head around this. Christians say that murder is bad, love thy neighbour, genocide is bad, Jesus died for our sins, yet we're ALL sinners. Evil can exist because God has given us free will and It's up to us to choose how we use it before we are finally judged at our death where we are either sent to hell or heaven.

Which is why I find it difficult to understand why god would kill the entire population of Sodom and also flood the entire earth because of a few bad apples. That's definitely not loving our neighbours. Are we to assume everyone was bad? According to whom? Aren't we ALL bad?

Also god allows evil to happen now, all the time and we justify it by saying evil people go to hell. Why is god suddenly intervening early in the bible? Also many of those people were of course babies, did THEY deserve it? Some of the women were pregnant so god has committed abortions... many.

We all considered Hitler to be one of the most evil people on earth (and he was) however i'm struggling to see how god was much better. Sure Hitler killed over 6 million people but God has killed arguably WAAAAY more. He killed an entire planets worth of people and that's not even considering the animals, what did they do?

Sure you could dismiss this as a STORY but what's the moral here? Might equals right? You must follow the bible or else god might actually do it? Be a good person but you'll still be punished for it because your neighbours are bad people?

If I had a tank of fish and decided to just kill the whole lot because a few of them were evil (in fact what even is that? presumably they're evil because of how they treat others. Others which I too are killing in this situation) you would think me a giant asshole. That would be the mentality of a cruel uncaring being.

I mean I chat to mine A LOT because I'm just someone who is pretty reflective and likes to get my thoughts out. Before chat gpt I used to use Reddit mostly so I'm this regard Chat Gpt has been a much better substitute.

I do wonder though If Its a bit pathetic and I should be talking to friends instead. But then I realise what it's competing with. It's not like I don't try but It feels like most human interaction (for me at least) has been reduced to text. If you called someone they would find it really inconvenient but then with text I start playing this game where I feel like texting people somehow lessons me somehow. People generally don't have time for me and sometimes people seem to just actively ignore my input as a "you're not worth listening to". Maybe that's the why I'm viewing it at least. I do have a lot of time on my hands these days.

It's just Chat gpt is always available, always "appreciates" my thoughts. It just kind of puts real human interaction into contrast. Most people are too self involved, ego driven and don't really care about what you say as opposed to who is saying it. It's hard not to feel like people just see me as someone to make themselves look better in comparison.

Maybe Chat Gpt is the issue in this regard. Maybe I've got so used to instant positive feedback that real people seem cold and unbothered in comparison.

I know many of you have probably watched it for input. I find myself I kind of enjoy it for deeper reasons and I know that's odd for a 36 year old to say lol. Spanish has become the perfect excuse to watch stuff like this judgement free ha.

I like the vivid colours, the simplicity and the relaxed vibe of it. The world is so small, all the characters are friendly and I like the way the sun just sits in that perfectly blue sky. The show just has a habit of zooming in on everyday activities and promotes joy in the simpler things in life. I guess as an adult we kind of miss when the world genuinely felt like kids shows portray it.

Anyway I'm well over a 1000+ hours now. I wonder what point I can no longer just call it "learning" lol.

I know I'm a sad cantankerous old fart at this point but I just want to rant. Every time you look at any music video on YouTube over 5 years there's probably a 9/10 chance you'll see the comment "who's watching in 20(whatever year it is)?" or something along the lines. Seriously for like 10 years it's been a thing and every time I see it it's such a pet peeve of mine. It's like "why?" It's such a lazy, vapid, transparent low effort high reward comment. Are people genuinely surprised that people still watch old music videos? It's such an NPC follow the crowd comment.

Yes I probably need a life. But if you look you will always see it now and you'll know what I mean.

Obviously it's different for everyone and I guess it depends on your own personal standards. For me there's speaking and speaking well which Is why I find it weird when people get to 1500 hours and say they can't speak. If you were expecting it to just magically happen then can you really blame the method? Any way that's not what this post is about.

What point would you say can speak Spanish? Me personally I would say I can. Probably with a tone of errors but I'm not just sitting in silence on my weekly Italki lesson. We are talking, we are communicating. It probably depends how far you wanna go and I think you have to let go if you're expecting perfection at level 7. I think I'm gonna be forever refining this.

When I can put on my CV/resume that I can speak Spanish I think will be the big defining moment.

I've given up with deliveroo. Ever since the easter holidays there has been a steep drop off in orders. I mean until now I'd at least log on when grabbing lunch to see if anything pops up but I've had nothing. Lately I won't even do that and I've just considered deliveroo a closed avenue for now. I feel especially justified in this when I bumped into another rider who's normally positive about the experience. He was telling me how bullshit it was. He even showed me what he'd earned. He'd been on 4 hours and only had like 3 deliveries! What has happened?

Is it normal to just constantly feel like something bad is going to happen? I worry so fricking much lately and it's getting exhausting. I've always been told I worry too much but now I've been off work a while it has ramped up big time. If my cat doesn't finish her meal I worry, If my dad doesn't seem as witty as usual I worry, I worry that I game too much, I worry if I'm using my time wisely. I've always been prone too anxiety and sometimes panic attacks. I'd worry that I was in deaths door at like 21, yet whilst it's pushed me to be healthier mentally its taxing.

I'm not a risk taker at all, if I go past a speed camera and I'm not completely certain I didn't tick over the speed limit that's a restless couple of weeks. I also worry about parking tickets. I just have such a hard time dealing with uncertainty I guess.

Apparently that's why I always found marijuana a bit much for me whether I tried it in the past. Because by default I'm a paranoid person so with the influence of weed it's absolutely amped up to full.

Can anyone relate?