u/Glittering_Ad2771

It starts with the death of innocents, then dreams, faith, hope, people than eventually your reason to stick around

Every now and then on my posts I'll just get these random comments from people in Spanish. Obviously me learning spanish I'm not complaining but I just find it odd. Why would someone see a post in english then reply in spanish? Is it an AI or something? Considering the nature of content I watch It can't be a coincidence It's spanish and not any other language. i try sometimes to see it as a challenge and reply in spanish but that normally gets me down voted. Any clues?

I like this stuff. It's interesting and nice to know there is so much depth to explore in ones own mind. The thing is I never know what to actually do with the insight or wether it's even meaningful at all. Whilst it's fun to do active imagination and even dream interpretation I just don't know how exactly I should use it to grow or even what growth looks like.

To me it seems the mind likes to turn thoughts, ideas and feelings about stuff into symbols and all I'm doing is just turning those symbols back into them. I've always been someone who sees everything as a means to an end. That's a problem I've had in my meditation practice. I have to have a benefit. Even drinking something like a hot cocoa. It's not enough that I enjoy it. No I have to have a reason why. It's gotta be justified in terms of health benefits. Maybe that attitude is blocking me from diving deeper into this stuff .

I also can't get on with the YouTubers on these subjects. They seem to have just arrived at some sort of invented conclusion that makes sense to them. When it comes to anima work it seems to be based on gender stereotypes. This one YouTuber mentioned something about his masculinity being present in his writing in bold letters and he's integrated his anima through enjoying dance and I'm thinking "what is any of this based on?". Everything just seems to floaty and abstract. I want to explore it but I just can't find the starting line yunno.

I've been kinda half listening to this channel on YouTube called Jubilee where people have debates about contentious subjects and it always annoys me when the Christians get involved. I was just watching a debate about child transitioning between trans people and ex trans people. Oh the sighs when the Christians piped up.

To me it's like "oh ffs THESE people" and they always start their conversation with "oh as a Christian" then went on to say how we should remain how God made us and I'm sitting here like .. GOD ...IS... MAKE BELIEVE.

Why have we still gotta patronise these people? As soon as you say god you have lost me. Your point is nul and voided. To me Christians having arguments is like arguing over who would win in a fight between Batman and superman (superman). It's make believe. It doesn't matter. There's no reality there.

And it's like they litteraly cannot fathom that we don't believe in God. They're like "but God says this" like they've made some serious point.... ummmm...Christians really aren't getting this are they?

Yet the funny thing is those same adults would laugh at someone scared of a monster under the bed. However there is just as much evidence that either it or God exists. "Oh don't be gay, the monster will get you" "don't listen to bad music the monster doesn't like it"

"What there's no evidence of a monster under the bed? Well absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"

Just remember up until pretty recently Christians used to be scared of rock music, Harry potter and the number 666. Now it's the "Woke stuff" and "the gays". They used to blame Marilyn Manson for school shootings just cause he sang some edgy lyrics and presented as female. However it's the lefty's that are offended by everything apparently.

edit: oh and if course evolution being taught in schools. Imagine being offended by the truth

Ok, I've done it! I'm actually kind of shaking lol. This feels surreal.

Right. I want this to be a positive day and a positive post. Unfortunately I have also just seen Evildea's last video and whilst I completely agree it is bad timing and kind of a downer. I don't really feel like going into what I can do with my reading, listening, speaking skills etc because it actually feels irrelevant. I have disappointments which I got out the other day on here and I have had some good experiences in my trip to Valencia. Today is not about my progress. Today is about hitting that milestone and now I can continue in an entirely new approach. Now i've done it I no longer need to keep comparing myself to the roadmap and I no longer need to keep counting down hours until certain levels. That's the issue with the roadmap. It's very easy for your journey to become more about gaining hours and reaching levels than actually learning spanish. I've seen ALG get a lot of heat, so much it's definitely managed to convince me. So now is a chance for me to really make comparisons. Going forward I'm gonna probably do less CI and focus more on reading and grammer.

Am I still gonna track my hours? Sure but it does feel kind of unnecessary because I feel the last 500 hundred hours on the roadmap are gonna look very different for everyone depending on how many hours a day they're spending on listening and reading. Speed running although up to this point may have worked in ones favour someone who has spent 3 hours a day on Videos and 1 hour reading is gonna be very different to someone doing an hour watching videos and an hour reading.

Where I'm at also doesn't really matter because like I've always said it's not like I was gonna get to level 7 and then stop. At this point Spanish is part of my life. Despite it's criticisms one thing ALG really gets right is it's sustainability. I have always been a hobby hopper and there is no way I would have made it to almost 2 years later without dreaming spanish. No fucking way. It would seem sacreligious now to not wake up and be able to see the latest videos of all the DS crew. They really are great and they have come so far from just bearded Pablo making some drawings on a whiteboard. I really enjoy El caballero de baston, seeing where Agustina goes next, Shell and her pigeon. All the guides. It's not just DS it's you guys too. Whilst lately I've noticed a lot of bickering all in all you guys have kept me going. This sub has been so great in motivating each other and patting each other on the back. DS as a platform and a community is absolutely top tier. I've entered into a world that is so great. The content is very good value for money. Things just get a little tense when we start looking too much on the road map side of things. My advice, take it as a pinch of salt. If you wanna speak speak, if you wanna read read. It doesn't matter how we learn as long as we enjoy it because at the end of the day it's all really just about learning Spanish!

Thank you both the DS team and this sub

edit: I need to celebrate somehow. I've already done the trip to spain. How can you top that?

This is definitely gonna be a more positive post than my last. Although I still stand by everything. I'm on my way back home now and I'm glad I am able to leave on a good note on the language side of things.

Got in my Uber to the Airport. We said "hola" I then asked if he spoke English and his response... NO. So I thought "right! This is it". This was one of two of my only real conversations here. So we got chatting, he asked where I was from? How many languages I spoke, was I here for work or vacation? I was telling him that my understanding is much better than my actual speaking. He said he wants to learn English. I'm pretty sure he said he wants to learn English so he could live in Switzerland though (which now googling doesn't make sense) maybe I got that bit wrong. I was telling him about crosstalk how I've been learning. If I was in his position I would definitely try crosstalk a lot. He asked me how to ask where you were from in English so I was actually teaching him a bit of English. He even said my Spanish was good. Very pleasant experience.

Definitely need improvement no doubt about that but it's very easy to forget I've only been speaking a short time compared to my listening. So in that regard 1500 hours doesn't really mean much I suppose.

It's nice to leave with my last conversation being a good experience.

If you're someone that believes strongly in this method I suggest you look away because I am a few hours from the big 1500 and so far I just don't feel like it's gonna be a positive update. Sure I have learned a lot of Spanish vocabulary but that's the thing It's vocabulary. I've had my qualms with this method and it's great if you don't like grammar or formal study. To say that it's better though or can even replace that. That is a bold claim.

I watched Evildeas video the other day so a few things hit home. I'm in Spain and people would still rather speak English to me. I've had people on here tell me once they have introduced grammar they felt their speaking ability started to decline and when you think about it that makes perfect sense. Because when you start learning grammar you start learning all the mistakes you're making and suddenly you become much more self conscious. I mean it's ok to make mistakes sure but we're talking about a method here that says after 1000 hours your speaking ability is gonna be great.

I've started using grammar and its just made me realise things do not mean what I think they mean. For example I've always thought "no sé" to mean "I don't know". However I decided to look up the meaning of a song I like called "No se me quita" which apparently has a completely different meaning. I think the key is the little mark above the e" it's a completely different word. I didn't know that. How would I know that from just listening?

Sometimes I feel you're discouraged from grammar and looking up words because if you did you would realise how badly you are guessing things to be. I've even noticed I've actually guessed words to be completely wrong. I think there is a big difference between communicating and acting speaking Spanish correctly. I feel we overstate our abilities. It makes sense that once you wait until 1000 hours you would have a giant vacabulary you would feel you can communicate really well but can you actually speak correctly? I practice with my chat gbt all the time and it's always always telling me "it's more natural to say it like this" because I have strung a few words together and felt they make sense.

I'm sorry if this post is very negative, it'll probably get down voted to hell but I can't help how I feel right now. I expected a lot by now. To be fair I've probably not done enough reading which I think is undervalued in this method and the last few hours I've found it very difficult to concentrate. I think when I get home I'm gonna have to have a very long think about how I'm gonna approach my Spanish because this is clearly not optimal.

edit: It's not all bad. I had a chat with my uber driver on the way back to my hotel. Whilst we did eventually change to english it was after he said my spanish was good and asked if I spoke Castillo Espanol. So I'll take that.

I'm not talking about doing childish or "immature" things. I mean in ways of growth. I mean in my 20's I had successfully grown out of needing constant stimulation, I enjoyed being out in nature, going for long walks and adventures. Now it seems like all I want to do Is stay at home and just consume media and the internet. That other stuff bores me now. I used to find such satisfaction in learning and nature. Now I feel I don't care anymore.

I also felt like I could do things on my own more but now I've let self consciousness get the better of me again and I pick my activities because I don't want to be "that guy alone" things like eating in restaurants or cafes alone used to not bother me. But now I get anxious and uncomfortable. Probably because I was single before and now I'm not. It's just weird how getting older or more "mature" doesn't always mean growth.

Only for a long weekend. It's great to be surrounded be Spanish and at close to 1500 hours it's significant. I'm not really bothered about doing some cool excursion I just want opportunities to use what I know. Still I'm finding people would rather respond in English. I get people are busy and not there to be my practice partners but it is annoying though. I'm finding it fun to try and Eavesdrop on conversation but I'll admit it's still kind of difficult. It's probably considered rude but they don't know lol.

I've noticed with people in shops when talking to me I can understand them but because they talk so quick it takes me a moment. I've clearly got a lot more to learn with the language

I'm sure it's gonna be fine but I wanna be sure. I'm not really a big user of ubers or taxis, I have a flight in two days in the afternoon and there is no way after last time am I getting the train again. The trains were late as usual and It caused me to miss my flight and I had to pay £400 for another.

Anyway so I want to leave nothing to chance. I'd rather pay £100 for an uber than risk that again. I just feel a bit unsure about hiring an uber on the day. What if no ones available? I've never had an uber to the airport before In England. Is it safe getting an uber around the time I want to leave, can and should I book it before hand?

If you think about it the whole thing is unhealthy. We like to think we don't give a fuck and we've got thick skin but posting on here isn't natural. If you think about it we say shit on here we'd only say to a select few people irl (maybe not even any) to the worsts people. I don't mean people are inherently bad I'm saying redditors are worst than complete strangers. Even strangers can see you, gauge who you are and mostly have some sort of everyday politeness and even a shared culture because you'll be from the same area. Redditors have no inhibitions. Posting on reddit is like standing on a stage in front of a load of drunk people and just saying stuff you otherwise would feel uncomfortable saying. Even then these drunk people would have some kind of empathy. You're not people to redditors you're just words on a screen that has formed an opinion and it's their opportunity to make themselves feel better by putting you down. I realise I'm talking about redditors like some seperate species to myself... I am a redditor. I'm simply talking about how people act with anonymity.

I just don't think it's fair you can write a post in the heat of the moment and just have a limitless amount of people giving you shit for it for the rest of the day even if your question was dumb. If you were deliberately provocative sure you probably asked for it but most of the time I find that's not the case. For a leftist dominated site, people really can be assholes.

If you think about it the whole thing is unhealthy. We like to think we don't give a fuck and we've got thick skin but posting on here isn't natural. If you think about it we say shit on here we'd only say to a select few people irl (maybe not even any) to the worsts people. I don't mean people are inherently bad I'm saying redditors are worst than complete strangers. Even strangers can see you, gauge who you are and mostly have some sort of everyday politeness and even a shared culture because you'll be from the same area. Redditors have no inhibitions. Posting on reddit is like standing on a stage in front of a load of drunk people and just saying stuff you otherwise would feel uncomfortable saying. Even then these drunk people would have some kind of empathy. You're not people to redditors you're just words on a screen that has formed an opinion and it's their opportunity to make themselves feel better by putting you down. I realise I'm talking about redditors like some seperate species to myself... I am a redditor. I'm simply talking about how people act with anonymity.

I just don't think it's fair you can write a post in the heat of the moment and just have a limitless amount of people giving you shit for it for the rest of the day even if your question was dumb. If you were deliberately provocative sure you probably asked for it but most of the time I find that's not the case. For a leftist dominated site, people really can be assholes.

If only ghosting were so easy. That's the thing. Anyone else you can simply not talk to but when it comes to family you've either got everyone or no one so you can't pick and choose who you have to see. Speaking of If you've got family that always seem to back out on invites but will only see you at gatherings would you assume they don't like you?

I've got this whatsapp family group which to be honest I've wanted to leave for a while. There's people on there I don't talk to. People I don't like and people who clearly don't like me. I've avoided leaving because I didn't want it to show up that I left to everyone. Anyway that's not the case any more. I deleted my brothers number the other day because I decided I'm not gonna bother with him any more but realised as long as he's on that group it doesn't really mean much. Anyway yesterday was probably petty but it was the thing that finally made me do it. It was one of my brothers partners birthday yesterday and we all did the usual "happy birthday" messages. What annoyed me was that she had gone through all of them, gave them a love heart but skipped me. It wasn't like mine was an outlier and she just missed. There was no way it wasn't on purpose. It's a small thing but to me I felt singled out. So I just left the group. Most people don't talk to me, care what I have to say. I just get the "no one cares" responses from my brother who's number I deleted. So fuck it. If people wanna talk to me they can message me.

I'm not coming at this at an angle of fairness or any sexist reason. I just find it strange the differences between men and women's rules of exposure in public and I'm talking from a british person perspective. Men can walk around freely without a top on in public however when women do it it's seen as odd. Unless they're wearing a bikini top. Yet in the gym it's reversed. Men cant go topless but i've seen women working out in just sports bra's. Speaking of bra's this is were I find it odd. Women can wear the most teeny tiny bra's were you can pretty much see everything but as long as the nipples are covered it's fine. We've decided as a society nipples are bad but specifically women's. Yet for guys it's fine. I've seen scenarios where women have literally had a bit of tape covering their nipples and that's deemed as fine. Again i'm not saying anything is fair or unfair. I just don't get the logic.

I've got this family WhatsApp group which I've hated and wanted to leave for ages so this was kind of the final straw. I don't like groups, either in person or online. People act differently in groups and it feels like a way to include people without actually bothering to socialise with them. I feel most of the time my input is either ignored and nobody even cares enough to open a funny link I share.

The only people who I seem to actually get a response from is my brother who quite frankly talks to me like I'm someone approaching the cool kids in a school yard. Most of the group revolves around kids which I don't have so I can't connect and I get the feeling most of my brother's partner's don't even like me. That definitely seems to be the case because today is my brother's other halfs birthday and everyone did the usual sending happy birthdays. As did I. Now what got me is that she had acknowledged each one with a heart emoji... Except me. Everyone. It's not like she may have missed it. They were all lined up and she skipped me. So it's probably petty but that got me. I've always got the feeling she didn't like me anyway. So I just left the group and It feels good. If people wanna talk to me they can message me. They won't but at least I won't have to see people ignoring me in real time.

Maybe I'm overreacting, maybe I just hate not being the centre of attention but I just feel like an outsider with my family and the group just constantly reinforces it. I feel like I'm the weird loser brother.

I'm not one for rage quitting but I did last night. This isn't the first time I've played the game. I got it a couple of years back because I got it expecting it to be a remake of abe's exodus and ended up putting it down very quickly when I realised it wasn't.

However I've been playing new and tasty on the switch because I saw it was reduced and enjoyed it thoroughly. Itching for more oddworld stuff I decided to give soulstorm another go as it was reduced to around 8 pounds from 44.I thought if I go in open minded I'll still be able to enjoy it and up until just lately I absolutely did (despite the lack of scrabs, paramites, leeches and gluckons).

It's getting harder to enjoy it now though. I'm nearing what I think is the train bit and I'm finding the game is getting stupidly difficult. Now I'm one for a challenge but I'm finding this game takes the piss. I find the game feels needlessly hard and it's due to it's own sloppy mechanics. Yunno how you're playing a game like a stealth game or something and although it's hard and you can get past difficult fights but you do it in such an un skilled way it feels kind of wrong. That's how this game feels. It feels like most of the time it's luck.

The part I got to last night was this bit were I've got to climb these ladders up this cylindrical level layout with these giant chain links popping in and out constantly and I got to a section where there was about 6, every single mud dead. After I died a few times I gave up and don't think I even wan't to attempt it again. I wan't abe's exodus. I know these games are tedious but when you die you're left with knowing it's one less way to do it if you know what I mean. Dying actually feels like trial and error. It doesn't on soulstorm.

Also those bit's where you have to cross a valley on a platform with a lever whilst possessing flying sligs were so fuckin annoying. That's where I really started to lose my enjoyment. So do you have any tips maybe? Can you relate or Is this game gonna be one I put down again thankful that I didn't pay full price?

Also did it lead to particularly difficult time with things like morals and meaning? It did with me but now I've got about 17 years experience in athiesm so maybe that makes me a pro haha. I've seen Christians online who claimed to be athiests before but I really don't understand how that happens. To me it's been like a raft leaving an Island, I don't really know how you get back. Once you've learned it's all bullshit I just don't get how people can start believing it again, Unless the void left in it's absence becomes too much to bear they kind of have to make themselves believe.