u/Juan1998__

It feels worse knowing that our culture is the "hard working type" and most are yeah and then there's me

The thought of time slipping by me so fast now as I age doesn't let me sleep at all. I've been averaging like an hour or 2 at night i sometimes drink to try and fight the fear away, but it doesn't leave. I'm so fearful of my body aging. I can't live like this. I keep having panic attacks. How are people so okay with death I don't understand at all. Lately the days have been zooming so fast wdym it's August already i'm going to blink and it's September...i wish I could stop time so bad

I havent dated in 10 years now 28 and I feel like i've become just a boring person with no real way of talking to them besides small talk. I'm terrible at comvos as well or at least long conversations. I can always do the simple hyd or how's life with a little joke in it, but damn I can't remember the last time I actually had a convo longer than 5 minutes with someone and it's making me nervous thinking about it. I tried recently getting a girls # which I did, but during the call i'd freeze so much when having nothing to say even with a couple of shots in me I struggled. Ik ik practice makes perfect, but i've never been this bad. Hell I couldnt even Crack a decent joke and everything I feel like i'd talk about seems boring

Fuck this feels terrible, I heard they already started the season and i'm stuck here hoping waiting for a call. Everywhere else keeps rejecting me. I just want money to go fix my teeth and regain some confidence :/ I want to do something with my last year before turning 30. Damn this fucking sucks

I'm talking sleep, shower, upside down taking a shii jkjk, but man I love wearing my boots

I think it makes it worse hearing these guys Crack jokes left and right with no issue. I dislike being such a serious person. I'm not quick witted in the slightest or a conversationist when it comes to people just small talk, but with the usual easy questions. I'm not creative in the slightest and can't keep the convo going so making new friends has always been the hardest task in my life. I envy all those that can talk freely about anything. Being tall people kind of expect you to be more confident, but not me. At 1st I enjoyed this lifestyle, but getting older i wish I couldve been more extroverted. This sucks. They talked about how being isolated changes the way you think and how you.process social interactions differently and it all makes sense. Ever since high school the years went on and I felt myself change drastically. I just saw an old classmate from school. Ik he recognized me i was the only tall guy in school, but i couldnt bring myself to say wassup. I just nodded at him. Back then i'd easily dab him up greet myself to his family crack a quick joke and be done with it, but nope completely silent. They also talk about how a lot of us who live solo tend to die faster. Our brain doesn't feel well without that good feeling we get from socializing and can lead to our body just rotting i suppose. It just made me more and more depressed as it went on, but everything made sense. I'm wish I could be more extroverted cracking jokes. Having life experiences. I just tried going out to eat by myself at this Indian restaurant and it was pretty depressing. Place was empty and all of my small talk was terrible. Food was decent at least, but ig i'll try again another day i'm thinking maybe Thai food but who knows i'm not motivated anymore

This week just feels very odd i'm currently 28 soon to be 29, but this past week i've been feeling just dead inside? I can't Crack jokes like I used to. I feel like a whole different person vs who I was a week ago it's so odd. What sucks is that i'm currently talking to this girl i really like and i've just been so dry to her these past 2 days I don't want her to lose interest in me. I'm usually making her laugh being flirty. I find it hard to even make my friends laugh now so wtf is going on i hate every bit of this. I feel like i'm losing myself

I live 30 minutes away so i'd like to know if it's worth it i assume it's been growing over the years so any feedback i'll take :) Edit: thanks for the heads up then guys sucks to know it's bad out there thanks for all the replies

Now 28, i've been noticing myself become way more introverted, like my mind is enclosing itself and i'm losing any joy i had of life. My self esteem is getting worse, my social skills are getting worse. Genuinely idk why i did this to myself. People keep telling me it'll get better, but how do you shape your mind to go back to normal? Why the hell did I put myself through this, I literally had a good path in front of me and I just bitched out somewhere in life. I feel like such a pussy waiting for a miracle that isn't going to happen. This week waiting for a call for a job has been hell idk if they'll even call me. Wheres that reset button please. I feel like i wasted so much potential. I used to be a normal socializing person where tf is he at now. I'm tired of being stuck in this room doing the same thing. I'm doing everything alone now, all the bike rides, all the walking alone at parks seeing people in relationships or just groups of friends in general having a good time. I miss it all. How the hell haven't i killed myself yet. Why am I so scared of never existing again. If God is real why does he have people like this. People with disabilities. It makes no sense. I'm tired of praying of a better life. Please I hope this is the last time I post here

It's probably the most common kind. These past 12 years since I left HS was just gaming, shows, porn, but there were some moments where life felt normal. Had some girlfriends, some jobs here and there one that lasted at most a year. Others I just left because I couldn't handle the societal pressure of being normal. I have great friends who I still hang out with every once in a while. I'm lucky we have the same interests (sports and some tcg card games). I was able to party with them whenever they went to L.A, but only when they went i could never afford to go traveling by myself so it sucks feeling like I missed out on some of those aspects in life. In my 20s i've only gone clubbing 3-5 times in my life. I've had opportunities where I could've had one night stands, but never owned a car or apartment or I feel like those nights wouldve been different. Now at 28 i'm attempting going back into society, but it's so dreadful waiting for this temp job that's coming after next week I feel like time is just waisting. I should use that money to fix my awful teeth which I got from not taking care of them (please brush your teeth guys a life with dental problems is terrible) I hate all those times in my life where I said (things would work out someway) and never did anything about it. I'm hoping i can succeed in this and hope to never be back here. It's both depressing and also not that lonely in a way if that makes sense. Knowing theres others like me only fills the void by like 5%. I've never been good at anything and i'm always scared to fail was another reason why I could never move forward in life. I'm a perfectionist so to speak if things don't go good right off the bat I always beat myself up on it. This is just my life. A freaking terrible life

I suck at conversations, making them laugh, which i feel I vital to get close to someone, I mean I get compliments from women when I show them a selfie, but what is all these looks if I can't do anything with them. I might have to just accept my fate :/

I need any motivation i'm close to 29 in a couple months and would love to hear what you guys/gals have done

As a taller person at 6'3 I noticed all day as I was in LA that all the people way shorter than me were in a relationship from the place where I was at. I was the tallest person there for around 4 hours and I couldn't help but notice that every relationship was way shorter than me 5'1-5'10,