u/Katz154

Everyone in my house seems so disappointed in me. Trying to better myself and I keep switching between im going to go back tomorrow and not, its hard on me, my mom told me to stop acting like a baby, but they’re seeing an inside of my mind. Me crying and mood switching is how I am in my own head and when I’m alone and feel like I can let it out. I don’t know how to feel.

My coworkers don’t speak English. I don’t speak their language. I can’t help customers because I don’t speak their language The boss in charge of telling me what to do won’t even look at me directly and I never seem to know what to do and i’m too nervous to talk to anyone, so sometimes I roam the store not being sure what to do and I feel like an embarrassment. Liability. “Idk who tf thought to hire this girl”. I cant lift boxes above my head to put them high up, atleast not boxes of 12-24 cans and stuff like that. I’m the only girl there. I went from dropping out of high school because I felt like an imposter and that f*cked me up, got diagnosed with anxiety and depression, to feeling like an imposter again, and not knowing if I’ll survive, again.

I feel like a failure. I keep switching between i’ll go back tomorrow and i’m going to quit. I keep crying. Having mood swings and I hate it. I need to get back on antidepressants, atleast thats what my mom say. and even then I might still be a failure.

Just sitting here, cooked dinner, deciding if I should play a video game as I haven’t in awhile and it is my first day of work tomorrow so if I’m going to play something I may as well now 🤣

Fun fact about me: i’m the youngest of 4, my oldest brother is 42, and my life is lowkey a shitshow ✨

Anyways, AMA!

Hi everyone, so I received a job offer last night and this will be my first job so i’ve never really had a reason to do a background check before and it is my first one, whatever way I know it’ll come out clean, I haven’t done a crime in my life haha.

However, i’m curious if anyone has any experience with the background check company Certn and how long it takes for an employer to get the results from them? I’m a bit anxious since communication with the company was very quick and responsive until I filled out the background check form but I imagine a background check does take longer, both because someone is checking me and then the employer needs to view the results and get back. I completed it at 8:40pm yesterday and it is 8:35 right now so just about to hit 24hrs FYI. I looked online but some places said as early as minutes, other places said 24-48hours, other places said even longer.

If anyone knows a possible timeline for when employers usually get the results from them I’d appreciate it a lot!

First date. He loved bombed me, I was perfect, he was going to take care of me, then finally, “I love you”.

I froze in shock and he froze in response, staring at me, this was the first date of my entire life after all, i’ve never had something like this happened to me. His blue eyes went from a bright blue to pitch black in a matter of seconds, like they were blue, I blinked, and they were black. I was scared. I said I love you back just to get out of the situation. It felt so awkward.

I stayed for 3 months until he ended it, until he tore me piece by piece apart, now I realize him removing the condom mid deed without asking was assault when I consented to protected sex, how me being terrified to say no to things can never be consent, I feel so violated.

There is nothing scarier than watching a mans eyes turn pitch black, now I know, those empty black eyes mean run and never look back.

I know this may sound like a stupid question, but i’m 20F, and up until 6 months ago I was a virgin. I remember it being only my 2nd time seeing the guy, and he was very sexual since the first meet basically, not at first, but once I said yes to being kissed it went from there.

I managed to say no to sex the first time, but the second time we were doing some sexual stuff, making out touching each other etc, but beyond this point I had made it clear the first time, pants stay on and he hadn’t touched me there.

Now, I remember him asking me if he could take my pants off, and I nodded. I did expect some touching of course… but I didn’t think that meant me consenting to sex idk, and he did use his hands and stuff at first but.. next thing you know he basically was on top of me and lined up against me looking down at me, and I was looking at him honestly terrified of what was about to happen, scared to express myself, but I didn’t say no, I let it happen.

I’ve confided in a friend since, who based off the whole situation had suspected I had been sexually assaulted because future sexual encounters included him taking off the condom etc… and when I revealed the whole thing, they basically asked me what did I think is it okay to take your pants off meant. And now i’m confused, is it common for can I take your pants off to mean, can I have sex with you? 😅

I will never say the guy sexually assaulted me if he didn’t and I never have up until this point, i’m just genuinely confused, as this was the first and only person i’ve ever had a sexual encounter with, if I should’ve assumed he would insert himself in me.

The simplest answer is return to sender. I have done that, however it seems the person (my sister who lived with me up until April) keeps giving my address to both new places and hasn’t changed her address on old places.

I think shes selective about who has her new address and who doesn’t, because every single piece of mail coming in my mailbox over 15 hours away from where she lives is a fine, it says it on the envelope, “Ontario Court of Justice” etc, but nothing good she could possibly want is coming here, she refuses to give her phone number to any family member let alone an address so I can’t exactly tell them on the envelope or anything, plus she has me restricted on social media and is flat out ignoring my texts saying she has bills coming here, we’re not on good terms, she messaged people in my personal life about a week ago talking badly about me and I messages her asking her to stop which is when she restricted me, I have been getting her mail since April, and have told her on multiple occasions to change her address, at least I have tried.

What would you do if someone who no longer lives or talks to you keeps having their “unwanted” mail sent to you and return to sender is failing, because they’re telling them they live there?

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I don’t even know where to begin. She left at 4:30 in the morning in April not telling a single soul she was leaving and went no contact with all of us for months, breaking no contact with my brother in early May as well as my mother, and me in July wishing me happy birthday.

During this period, we know she’s been up to bad stuff from word of mouth, or… the police literally showed up to our door because apparently she did a hit and run, she never changed her address over so they came here looking for her, we’ve got so much fines in the mail for her its insane, we’ve told her to change her address, just leaves us on read.

Anyways, a month ago it was my birthday, and she broke no contact by wishing me happy birthday. About a week or so after this, she started occasionally messaging me things just to screw with me, like at one point she said she got a buzz cut and sent a picture of an obviously edited photo, then she told me she was getting her tongue pierced and asked what piercings I have because I have over 10, and I told her, including a dermal which if you don’t know is not the most common piercing, theres an anchor they place under your skin and your skin heals around and into the hole to “anchor” it into your skin and you can change the tops, not the most common piercing out there but she told me she was going to get her tongue pierced, asked me what ones I have and next thing you know she got her tongue and a dermal, no idea if its true or not, never seen em, but just to spite me. Then she tells me she bought a new car, a mustang, nobody has ever seen this car besides a picture of it on a lot, and shes a car girl who posts her car all the time, but not a thing about this car. My moms dream car is a mustang.

I’ve also got text messages from others, asking if I talk to my sister because apparently she’s messaging them or their friends or whatever and talking shit.

Now yesterday, she finds one of my good friends and dms him, asking how we met, how he knows me etc. and he immediately tells me before replying, he knows the situation with my sister already, and now shes in his dms. He tells her we met at a party a while ago, which truly we did, it wasn’t exactly a party but a concert and we hit it off, and my sister replied with “My sister doesn’t party or drink. Maybe her 1 boyfriend screwed her up so badly she began partying and drinking 🤣” first of all. I’m 20, the legal age to drink here is 18, whats wrong with a drink occasionally? And as I said, i’m fucking 20 I will go to a party or concert if I please, these are my younger years and i’m having fun, yeah I DO go to parties, concerts and shit occasionally and i’m glad I’ve got to have some good times. 2nd of all, really? Judging me for having 1 boyfriend? I’m sorry, if someone has had multiple boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever at my age thats perfectly fine, but only having 1 or never having one yet is fine too. I prefer to make strong bonds with someone before getting in the dating scene with someone and you’re a really shitty person if you think only ever having a thing with one person is something to judge. I will get with someone else when we both find happiness in each other, and my friend already knew about that boyfriend, so its not like your telling him anything new.

I’m so glad that at the end of the day he came to me and told me this and he’s obviously a good friend, like its ridiculous for her to even be messaging him, but I feel so much anger at the same time. I do not know what this woman is thinking, but I know for some reason she really wants to either ruin my life or disrupt it. You’re the one who walked out at 4:30 in the morning, your the one who chose you didn’t want us in your life, can you please fully exit instead of trying to start shit? I love my sister, but I can’t help who she has chose to become and I would rather have no sister than someone trying to ruin my life and happiness.

Hi everyone! So i’m a pretty new hockey fan, I only started watching last season and i’m a proud habs fan! I have the opportunity to either go to the Prospects Challenge or Sens preseason game in September, and I know what a preseason game is, but i’m not 100% on what a Prospects challenge is like, so I was wondering, from devoted Habs fans, if you had the opportunity to attend one or the other, which would you choose, and why? TYIA :)

I would donate sooner, but I live in nowhereland and its kind of a system on the road that does it here and they’re only here on August 10th lol.

But i’ve been curious about blood donation for a few years now, I am an organ donor and a few years ago when I cut my hair I donated it, so helping people out have always been an interest of mine, like I wanted to chop my hair off, someone may as well get good use out of it, if i’m not alive anymore and my organs are healthy someone may as well get an organ they need yanno? Or now, yeah I need blood to live like anyone else, but they know how much they can safely take in a sitting, i’m healthy, the body will restore it, and I would like very much to help someone in need who NEEDS this!

Honestly so excited to do this, my family is a bit wary «but you’ve never donated blood before, you might pass out!», but as I told them, every donor had a first time, you need to do it once to see how you’ll body will handle it, i’m a little nervous, not because of the amount of blood they’ll be taking from me, but because new process scare me at first lol.

Any advice for a first time donor?! So far from what I know they usually ask a few questions to see if you’re all good to go, either give a snack and drink during the donation or after? I’m not sure haha :)

I’m in Quebec by the way for anyone who may be nearby/know how «Héma Québec» runs things specifically!

No idea what blood type I am tbh, my mom is AB- and she thinks i’m O-, but from what I know i’ll find out at the appointment I think, or on my account online afterwards. :)

I (20F) have a sister (24F) who has a boyfriend (30M), they have been together for about 1.5 years and have been engaged for about 4 months. We come a family that are well, white, while he is an immigrant from the Philippines and has been here to work for the past few years.

My family is relatively racist, I believe in everyone is equal and deserves to be treated as such, I have managed to get different views over time than what I was grown up with and genuinely have no idea how I was born in this, there have been instances where my brother, step dad or sister say the N word or just be racist in general like “they’re soon going to invade us with their swords etc” (Referring to Muslims, specifically Saudi Arabia punishment methods etc), as for Filipinos specifically since that’s my sister’s bfs ethnicity, they including her, mock their language, look down on them for their housing in the Philippines and say their food stinks etc, they don’t like that there is places of worship for Immigrants here in Canada now, and basically the best way I can describe them is go back to your own country people, I avoid bringing up my immigrant friends and stuff for this reason, I find it’s just better that way.

The other day, me, my mom, sister and her bf went through a drive through, and at the window was an immigrant, I know him pretty well because its a small place and I think he’s from Morocco. He ended up getting our order wrong, and my mom gave what was wrong back to him and politely asked him to fix it, she’s not the type to say something directly to their face, while my sister exclaimed loud enough for him to hear, “Go back to your own country you don’t belong here dumbass!”, I was in shock, 1. Because I’m appalled that this is who i’m related to, 2. I’m embarrassed, and feel really bad for the guy.

I would like to say that our dad was not white, we come from a line of immigrants through our Paternal side and while it shouldn’t matter in my opinion, i’m just sitting here in shock, thinking, girl if you look at our childhood photos it was clear our Dad’s ethnicity wasn’t white, imagine the racial discrimination he went through and our ancestors went through and you’re really doing the same shit? This is so stupid on your part, to say someone shouldn’t be here when if our Great Grandparents didn’t immigrate here, our Dad wouldn’t of been born here and we most likely wouldn’t exist.

So, when we got home and me, my mom and sister were alone, I casually mentioned up future plans, they are engaged after all, plan to get married, I think its pretty casual to ask what she wants out of her future, what she see’s, and through this conversation, I learnt my sister does hopefully want a child, and in a moment of pause, I said “So do you plan to treat your son or daughter like crap because they’re half Filipino?” And she kind of looked at me like I had 2 heads and was like “What? No! It’s my kid” so I said, “You seem to treat every immigrant here besides your boyfriend and his friends like they don’t belong here, even telling someone to go back to their own country with your boyfriend, an immigrant, right beside you, you have to make a choice, being selectively racist makes no sense. Either you’re racist or you change your ways and are not, theres no inbetween and unless you choose to make the right choice, I don’t think its fair at all to him (her bf) or your future child, its a good question.”

She went silent and won’t even look at me now, while my mom kind of smiled because i’m not one to really speak up and she agrees with me. I know what I said was a lot, but… I turly do not understand the idea of having a biracial kid when you treat others of his same descent poorly, I do not want her having a child if she can’t look at him or her with pure adoration and how she treats immigrants scare me.

Since then, she’s been basically avoiding me at all costs (which we live together, along with her bf), when she gets home from work she goes straight to her room and stays there, comes out to get food after we’re done, showers before anyone is up etc. AITAH?

Edit to clarify: people born here from a line of immigrants or with parents who immigrated here aren’t immigrants, they are Canadian in my standards. Regardless of whether they were born here or not, my sister judges skin tone or accent to know if they’re “from here” or not, and think those born here should go back too when in reality, this is their HOME. Sorry for the confusion!

Using humour to cover up the fact I actually hate ants and am terrified of bugs especially ones where you know if theres 1 mores coming. Don’t get me wrong, lovely creatures, but like… in an enclosed ant farm preferably, when they’re not climbing my walls. 😭

Anyways. They looked like carpenter ants to me, black, long legs. Any tips to get rid of these things besides washing everything with soap/vinegar?!?! I would like my bed and room back asap. 😭

EDIT: i’m between them being carpenter ants and sugar ants, some are very small whole others are twice the size of the small ones. pretty sure carpenter ones are always big, or hell, maybe I have 2 types going on I dunno, they do all seem big for sugar ants. I bought Ortho Ant B Gon Max spray as well as their traps, doing a huge clean before placing them and hoping that solves the issue asap. :’)

I’m bored because well, I don’t have many to choose from by the looks of it, so far i’ve found 2 worthy of applying at, and I ain’t even being picky. 🤣 AMA!

Currently 20. I was a bright kid, straight A’s etc, but I was bullied a lot and unfortunately in 7th grade it REALLY got to me and by 8th grade my mental health was… doomed, so I got put in a program where they put those troubled in the “normal” classrooms.

The program is designed for those with learning difficulties or special needs I believe, but I know a lot of people slightly older than me that also got put in it who were just having a hard time with certain subjects, including my sister, when my sister was in the program there was around 20 in it, when I was in it there was around 4 of us and yes, the other kids weren’t special needs just… troubled like me whether that be picking fights at school, bad home life currently, just things that affected them badly and thus their schoolwork.

We received basically no general education once in it, I remember being handed a worksheet consisting of 2+2, being offered a pet fish and as a 14-15yo who was once expected to be on the honour roll that is very humbling. We work at whatever place of our choosing 2-3 days without getting paid and go to the classroom the other 2-3 days of the schoolweek.

We don’t graduate with a high school diploma considering we don’t get basic education, we graduate with a work training certificate (which personally I don’t like, nothing like going to graduation and pretending to complete high school when you haven’t done proper schoolwork in years, but thats how I felt about it, for ME.), however I chose to drop out at 16 and just took my placement tests for each individual subject so I can get my high school equivalent. AMA.

They’re swingers, I don’t really know how to explain it but I’ve always felt different about talking about sex and stuff, I got raised that’s supposed to be something private and it still is for me, believe it or not I don’t go around telling everyone my preferences in the bedroom lol, but when I have a good relationship with someone like this i’m really open about it if thats how the relationship is yanno. However I’m friends with a couple who swing, go to swinger sex clubs, etc. I know about their sexual preferences as they do mine, I know they basically have a sex dungeon in their house that they can convert to look like a perfect normal room, like their sex table can be converted to look like a dining table, I know when they’ve had sex, toys etc, I know it all and i’m also open about when i’ve done it, toys, orgasms etc. so open that if we were talking he or she could mention they had an orgasm earlier, or they share stories when they have experiences with other couples, there is no desire from all 3 of us to do anything together, we were friends before we got comfortable enough to share sexual stuff and as I saw a post once before, make friends with swingers, don’t swing with your friends and we all agree with that 🤣

I feel like its kind of weird to be so open with someone about sex especially who are a couple but we all know about each other, have a good friendship outside of talking about sex and respect boundaries, i’ve babysat their daughter when they’ve went out sometimes, and they’ve asked for advice on some of their fits to go to tje club etc and its like slay guys, go do what makes ya happy! You had a kid at a relatively young age and i’m glad yall got to figure out what makes you happy and still get nights out. I think we’re happy with having a connection with each other where theres really nothing awkward between us I think lol.