u/MonniMonty

Like when I say to much I literally mean you pretty much looked noticeably like a women body and all. Thanks so much!

14 year-old brother never has clothing or anything for school. I honestly feel so bad that I’m just gonna buy him some stuff myself. Also on top of that my father is up north nine months of the year the other three months when he comes down it’s complete hell all he does is complain about every little fucking thing and especially about being broke lol and having no money pretty much. Yet what blows my mind away is that the months that he’s up north he won’t call us at all except for when to brag about him making so much and doing these big projects and jobs. It makes no sense to me. I am not sure, but I know for a fact that all of us here me and my two younger brothers are not very happy all alone. He thinks that we’re living the best lives ever and even claims it himself, but it’s all far from that. He never gives us any attention at all. To be honest. It’s like I don’t even have a dad and my mom passed away two years ago and it’s only been downhill since he was pretty bad before that but it’s been terrible ever since. What sucks the most is that if we ever feel like we want to help or do anything good he completely disses us or makes us feel less lesser than it’s kind of difficult to do anything that we want . He only talks about money so pretty much we don’t even have any meaningful conversations with one another pretty much the months that he’s here we try our best to lock ourselves in our rooms or not speak much. It is just better that way because any little thing that he doesn’t like will start a big argument. It could be as simple as using the faucet and having it open a bit too much he will say for example “this is how you use the faucet turn it down OK.” me and my brother have been saving for some years to try to get out of here. I think it’s just the best bet. we don’t mention that anymore to him as well because before when we mention moving out, he would always talk about how we will suffer and never progress in life or end up under à bridge even .It is much better to stay by side he says. He claims to be the best dad ever but I just don’t know . He claims he wants us to be good in life and make it far yet the moment we find find a good good job job or start making a lot more more money. He trashes the idea. It’s almost like if he doesn’t want us to have financial freedom but without saying it directly? I am not sure what to do but I am getting tired of living the life he wants for us vs what we actually want.

I was wondering if anyone genuinely knows someone in life who is in the exact same place they were 10, 20 or even 30 years ago. by same place I mean like they haven’t progressed in life maybe they’re still working a really bad job they never got a house, never had any meaningful connections , barely ever went out ? But if you asked them they gentunly will tell you they’re sad or didnt do much with their life ? I feel like I do have an amazing career going for me, I rarely Talk to many people but yesterday I sat down with an old friend I had not seen in so long & he asked the question “what have you done in the last 5-10 years”. I’ll be honest I froze in place . Sure I am making money and artworks . But I have had the same life this whole time . I couldn’t even answer him. I know it’s totally my fault of course , but it made me have some sort of mental crisis. It’s been wake up, Make art for 12-14 hours , go to sleep and repeat. Sure I can make it bigger maybe someday but I’m scared then when I am 80 years old on my death bed I will think the same thing i am thinking now. “I never did much in terms of world experience.

I am 27 been vaping since 17 but it didn’t get “bad until maybe 22 or so. I don’t think much about it or havent until recently . But I think this is having detrimental effects to my health and there just starting to really show . I barely can work or have passion and energy im not sure if it’s because I vape literally 24/7 like I can’t even be 15 minutes without it . Is anyone in a similar situation or has finally quit? Did you notice any major changes to your body ? I also have crazy anxiety sucks because I used to be so social but slowly over yeara i have gotten worse . Im at the point where I barely can go food shopping now , or do anything like go out on a walk or to the beach for example . I don’t know where my life is actually heading but it’s going into a very dark place . I lost my mother in 2024 and the addiction amplified in that moment it kinda glorified itself. Im still fairly functional since I do art for partial living so I can vape all day while I create but I don’t see myself living long . My breath is so short now à days I barely breathe in and out. And I have developed ober the last year sleep Apena . The worst of it all is probably the social part it sucks i feel crazy in public like if evryone knows my flaws without me even meeting them . Sometimes it makes me look at people à weird way or angry and then they get uncomfortable. Has anyone been though this?

Is traveling annoying or difficult? How is life there? I currently live in Florida and have a bunch of money saved up. I am not sure but I want to possibly buy a place there. Is it hard to process? I honestly could get something in the Caribbean or perhaps Costa Rica in Central America does seem nice a 2 to 3 hour flight but for some reason, I just can’t get Thailand out of my mind or Indonesia. I just feel like they’re so gorgeous and special countries for some reason I feel like I will like them so much more I didn’t like the Caribbean as much as Costa Rica then again I still have to visit Thailand, but from what I’ve seen it does seem like a very special place in the world.

It’s the first time right now that I heard Fall again . And while doing so I found out about Sam Neill passing . À very heartbreaking moment all at once . It shows me that in life sometimes there isn’t much action nor drama but that on the contrary a lot can happen in just a few seconds and minutes :( it is such a gorgeous song . So raw , powerful and emotional it’s hitting me hard 😔
I think it will become a favorite of mine.