u/MrsDaisy_

...and i have some thoughts

I love the worldbuilding, the magic system, i loved the one plot twist with rakesh. I enjoyed the buildup (though the slowest in human history) but i didnt enjoy:

- that of course Vin is the chosen one, stronger and also witier than anyone else (im just over that trope)

- the man who completely ignores Vin and treats her very red-flaggy ends up her one true love, sure (i know, im not the target audience, im 35f).

- the second time the BBEG shows up, he dies, just like that

- no resolution at the end (what happened to the original hero, what was he trying to avoid, did the Lord Ruler use the atium to appease the darkness and why is no one asking these questions? Yes, lets rather watch Vin pine over Elend 😂)

Should i read the second one? 😬

I was making my coffee in the pantry and stirring it when my coworker suddenly dipped his bread into my coffee. It completely caught me off guard.

I absolutely hate it when people put their food in my coffee. The bread left an oily film floating on top, and the coffee smelled weird afterward. At that point, I didn't even want to drink it anymore.

What made it worse was that when I looked at him, he just smiled and acted completely nonchalant, like nothing had happened. No apology, no "my bad," nothing.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but I found it incredibly disrespectful. If it's not your coffee, keep your food out of it.

Genuinely need help understanding if I'm just a wuss who dragged everyone backwards today or if we're mad for the right reasons.

I'll change minor details here for discretion.

I've (31F) had a friend group (similar ages) saying we'd like to get together for a hike for some time. We've scheduled, rescheduled, planned and unplanned babysitter and dogsitters, and FINALLY managed it.

So I had been tossing out trail ideas. Something easy; single day. My 2 friends say, "We'd like to just hike the trail right by our place!" And they essentially tell me that its a straight shot, we'll have a buddy drop us off on the other side of the hill, and we'll hike over, and essentially right back down into their neighborhood. Six hours, start to finish.

So my boyfriend and I show up, backpacks, basic snacks, water bottles.

They show up on bikes.

My boyfriend and I are a little confused. We thought this was a hike? For leisure? No rush, just sort of a one foot in front of the other type thing.

They say its no rush, they may beat us, but we're all just going back to the neighborhood. Plus there are a bunch of scenic lookouts where they'll stop and we'll catch up.

Well, to no one's surprise, we get left behind pretty quickly. No cell service to be spoken of. We keep having to crowd off to one side for ATVs ripping down the path, but the longer we keep walking, one thing becomes clearer and clearer: this is not any kind of hiking trail. Its not built for this at all. Despite that being the original idea.

Eventually we stop to rest and wind up chatting with these guys who have pulled over on their ATVs. They ask us where we're headed, and when we tell them, it becomes immediately clear that we have MUCH further to go than originally intended. Like several miles to go yet.

These two were saints, because they gave us a lift. The further we rode, the more astonished we became that anyone had expected us to do this on foot. It took us at least 15 minutes more to get there by ATV. We got back to the trailhead and realized it wasn't exactly right into the neighborhood like we'd been told, so we just started walking.

Eventually they came by and picked us up. I'd say maybe 20 minutes or so after we'd hit the main road. We told them we were too tired to stay for dinner (the original plan) and we booked out and grabbed something on the way home.

Here's where I'm at. We're adults. I was clearly underprepared, and no one should have to be responsible for me.

On the other hand, this trip was VASTLY misrepresented to us, and had I known, I wouldve told these people we didn't own mountain bikes, and to count us out. This was not a hike. We have VASTLY different ideas of what constitutes a hike.

Ive been fielding calls about how "sorry everyone is" about "the way things went down" but honestly, I just said that I had made it home safe and I'd talk to everyone later.

My mom had been babysitting so we could go, and when she asked me, I told her all of the above, and then said, "I tried to hold it together, because I figured maybe I was just tired and crabby. But then we had dinner and I was still upset."

She genuinely asked me if these people were my friends. Im going to sleep on it, because it's fresh, but I feel like she's right. I felt like I was taking crazy pills today, because, damn, at least tell me I'd be better off just going home. I felt like the people who knew the area misrepresented the trip and then totally fucked off and left us to figure out a way back. Additionally; I get very few days off with a babysitter, so to have planned excessively for this to have it go down that way was additionally disappointing, although not anyone's fault; just an extra grievance, honestly.

Idk, it just feels like we lost the plot here somewhere, and I'm not demanding an apology, I'm just not going to be expecting help or logic from any of these people in the near future.

TL;DR today gave me a migraine and felt like a wet fart, was I expecting too much or is this legitimately insane?

Edited to add: Holy moly. I woke up to a lot of questions and support and I can't thank you guys enough. I started replying to as many as I could get to, but now my household is waking up, so the wonderful boyfriend has gifts to open from the kiddos and I.

Thanks very much for your guys' thoughts and advice. Happy father's day to those who celebrate ❤️

Hello Mister Reddit ,

My grandson said this is where a fellow goes if he wants to know if he is the asshole, which I do not entirely understand because I am 81 years old and generally try not to be mean.

My wife and I have been married 54 years. In our house we have always had standards of cleanliness. Not military standards, but reasonable standards. If something is dirty, it goes in the laundry basket. This has worked mostly fine since Nixon was in office.

Recently, one of our adult children (I will not say which because perhaps they are secretly on this website) has been staying with us for a period of time after some life circumstances. I noticed, while gathering towels from the bathroom because nobody else seems capable of noticing a washing machine, that there were underpants on the floor. Not merely tossed there, but what I would call visibly used. With poop marks. I will leave it at that because I am already embarrassed writing this on the internet.

At dinner I said, perhaps more directly than I intended, Whoever owns the underpants in the bathroom ought to consider treating the laundry basket as a friend rather than an enemy. this caused offense.

Now I am being told I humiliated somebody and should have spoken privately. My position is that if a person is old enough to have a mortgage and car insurance, they are old enough to hear about dirty underclothes left on the bathroom floor.My wife says I should not have brought it up during meatloaf.

I say if I have to see the evidence, then perhaps meatloaf timing is no longer the issue.

mister Reddit, am I the asshole?

Hello everyone. I want to ask for your advice. I've been working in an IT company for several years. And a month ago I posted my profile in a dating app. And a few days ago my boss wrote to me. He found my profile. At first we just talked, but then he offered to have sex with him. He said honestly that he doesn't want a serious relationship, but he would like to meet me from time to time and spend time with me. He's an adult man in good shape, he's 49 years old (I'm 26). And it seems to me that combining sex life and work is a very bad idea. On the other hand, I understand that my consent or disagreement will somehow affect my career. I'm really afraid of being just used. And get addicted to him. And maybe if it was a stranger, I would agree. But he is my immediate supervisor. I really don't know what to answer him. And he wants to know the specifics and what he can count on. I don't want to lose my job, it suits me. I'm completely confused. Guys, how would you react and what should be taken into account?

I grew up poor with a single parent living in state provided apartements because of very low income. As i got older, i worked 4-5 jobs to get through university, but i still had to take on student loans. Eventually i finished with a phd. It took me longer than more privileged people that didnt have to work and could focus 100% on their studies, but at least it gave me work and life experience too. I got a 6 figure job after my phd and didnt change my lifestyle. This month i hit my first 100k and all debt is payed off! Planning on saving like this for another couple of years before gradually increasing my free spending cash. But I made it, im safe, i did it! (And yes ive been to therapy)

Hi everyone, please I need help. I’m 35F and my husband is 36M. We’ve been married for 10 years and have two boys (7 and 5). I honestly don’t know what to think anymore.

About three months ago my husband started sending me really nasty messages while he was at work. At first it was just mean comments. Stuff like telling me I’m lazy that I’m a terrible mother that he regrets marrying me. It was completely out of nowhere.

The weird part is that when he would come home from work, he’d act completely normal. Like nothing happened. He’d kiss me ask what’s for dinner play with the kids. The first time it happened I thought maybe he was having a bad day at work. But the messages kept coming.

Sometimes he’d send them during the day, sometimes late at night if he was working overtime. They got worse too. Saying things like I’m useless, that I’m lucky he hasn’t left me yet, that no one else would want me.

The first few times I confronted him, he acted confused. Like genuinely confused.

He would say things like “what messages?” Or “you must be misunderstanding something.”

I literally showed him the texts on my phone and he just stared at them and said he didn’t send them claiming he lost his phone. Which he did but he had a new one and was still texting and calling from that number.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but he didn’t look guilty. He looked confused almost scared.

I thought maybe he was gaslighting me but it was such a weird way to do it because he never got angry in person.

Finally about a month ago I snapped I showed him a bunch of the messages at once and told him I couldn’t keep living like this. I told him if he hated me so much he should just say it to my face.

He kept insisting he didn’t send them and said maybe someone was messing with us. At that point I was done.

I packed clothes grabbed the kids and went to stay with my parents who live in the same state. They were amazing and helped so much and I never felt luckier to have a close family.

Since then the messages have continued same number same horrible tone. Things like “Running to mommy’s house just proves my point.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“You’ll come crawling back eventually.”

I sent him screenshots back to the same number and still he swore again that he wasn’t sending them he just was saying he said he lost his phone at work and had to get a replacement but he still had the same number and when he would show me his phone I couldn’t see the messages, I just thought he was deleting them though. He said someone must have found the phone and was messing with me.

Last week though I let the kids stay with him for a couple weeks since he’s still their dad and they miss him.

He’s still denying everything. Says he never sent those messages and that he thinks someone is using his old phone.

Meanwhile the texts haven’t stopped.

At this point I don’t even know what to believe anymore. Either he’s lying to my face or something really weird is going on. Has anyone ever delt with something similar, I feel like I’m going insane and don’t know what to believe. We genially had the most perfect relationship before all this and I don’t know what to do, I’m scared I’m breaking my family apart for no good reason. But some of the texts have been so horrible, I can’t even include them on here.

Update: I did a lot more research, and some comments helped me investigate. I think I know how the messages are happening from multiple devices. Because we message using WhatsApp. After doing some research it does allow for multiple devices to be connected to same account. So it is possible someone else could be doing it from his lost phone.

But overnight the messages didn’t slow down, they actually got worse. They weren’t just insults anymore. Some of them started to feel like threats, I was terrified. Things about how I’d “regret leaving” and some a lot worse. I barely slept last night because of if.

At one point late last night I finally texted back, and said that if the messages didn’t stop I was going to the police. I know a lot of people said not to do this but I couldn’t take it anymore, and I knew that whether it was my husband or not the person doing this would at least see it.

I know I made a lot of people angry that I couldn’t just make up my mind on what to do. But here’s your reminder this is my husband, the man I loved unconditionally for over 10 years. Dumping him and blocking him out of no where isn’t an option. We built a family and a life together, my life isn’t a movie I can just cut the last ten years out, like many of you insinuated as well as calling me a liar, attention seeker and pointing out every mistake I made. I know I posted online for help and I need to accept some hate, but I fear sometimes people on reddit can just go to far, and I really saw it over the last day. Please think of the harm you cause when you leave a comment, this isn’t just social media it is my current real life and I know many of you that wrote these probably wouldn’t say it to my face.

Now the messages didn’t stop, if anything, they got more aggressive. At that point I was convinced it had to be him. And I decided to be true to my word and actually went into the police station.

I saw some comments about being able to track a device to a small location, and you can ask for that. if you have the information about the phone which I got from my husband, and are on the phone plan which I am.

The worse thing about this, is me contacting him about the kids and information, also went to whoever was sending the horrible messages. I was terrified about putting them in danger, and maybe making who was doing this more angry. So I knew it was urgent to get help.

At the station they were able to track the missing phone, I claimed it was just lost because at the time didn’t know if I was going to file charges. Because it was my husband’s phone they actually gave me the location and the officer who helped was very nice.

The address was very familiar and quite close to our house, so I decided to drive past to see where I knew it from.

Turns out I had been to one of my husband’s workplace parties there, and the coworker that lives there I’m actually quite close to.

I was angry and honestly just exhausted from it all. The kids were with him, so I went over early to pick them up before he expected me. My mom came with me because I didn’t want to go alone. She took the boys so I could talk to him privately.

I told him I knew one of his coworkers had his old phone. And how I was disgusted that she was ever someone I considered a friend. By this point I was absolutely breaking down.

When I told him this, he looked shocked. So I asked, Why was his phone at her house? And how did she know your password? He just said maybe she took it from work and I don’t know how she knew. But after reading some comments, I was done with these playing it down excuses.

That answer didn’t sit right with me at all. Something about the whole situation felt off. The messages had been too personal. Whoever was sending them knew things that only someone very close to us would have known.

So I pushed harder. It turns out the coworker (30F) wasn’t just a coworker.

She had been having an affair with my husband, for over a year. He tried to claim it wasn’t serious, but I was sick of him making me feel like I’m over reacting. I know people said this was a possibility, but I just could never bring myself to believe it.

I have never felt so betrayed everything made sense. She knew details about our relationship, our house, our routines, the kids. Things that would be impossible for a stranger to know, all because my husband was telling her everything.

I don’t know exactly how she ended up with his old phone. He claims he lost it at work and thinks she took it. I honestly don’t know what to believe anymore.

All I know is that the messages kept coming from that device. And they just kept getting worse, who knows how far she would have gone.

Apparently when my husband “lost” his phone whoever had it kept using it. Meanwhile he had gotten a replacement phone. But the old phone was still logged into WhatsApp. So technically both phones were tied to the same account and I didn’t even realise WhatsApp wasn’t the same as messages and things like this can happen.

Which meant the messages could be sent from the old device and still appear as if they were coming from him, while they wouldn’t appear on his phone.

Part of me thinks there’s no way he didn’t realize. The messages were constant. It’s hard for me to believe he was completely unaware of what she was doing.

Maybe I’m wrong, but my trust in him is completely gone. At this point I’ve officially decided to start the process of filing for divorce. This isn’t the man I thought I married, and after everything that’s happened I don’t even feel safe around him anymore.

For now, I’m staying with my parents with the kids. I don’t trust him around them right now, and he has seemed accepting over this because of the affair and he still has to work.

The fact that someone who smiled in my face, sat in our home, and acted like my friend was secretly involved with my husband for over a year, and then spent time tormenting me pretending to be him, is honestly one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever experienced and I still can’t even wrap my head around it.

I still have this horrible feeling that there’s more to the story than either of them are admitting. All I know is I have lost all trust for him and no amount of counselling could change that, we are done.

Thankyou all so much for the help, I’m genuinely scared what I would have done if I didn’t reach out cause I never expected this from him. I don’t know if there will be another update, I have a lot of recovering to do, I feel like I just lost over 10 years of my life to a lie of a man and need to get use to the idea of starting fresh.

I’m so grateful to have my family, and knowing they will be here to support me and the boys through this, is the only thing that brings me comfort.

There is obviously still a lot more I have to sort out, but I’m safe now. I just want to put the safety of me and the boys first.

This will be my final update.

Thankyou all so much!