u/Next_Examination3015

I know SEO is a long-term game but are there any quick wins you’d prioritize when taking over an existing SEO setup?

I’m stepping into a role previously handled by another specialist, so I’d love to know where you’d start and which changes can realistically move the needle relatively quickly even a bit

Uzivala sam u citanju kao mala, niz godina potpuno prestala, pa se od skoro vratila knjigama ali iskljucivo kad negde otputujem. Nije vazno da li sam sa nekim na putovanju ili sama, da li je poslovno ili odmor, jednostavno cim nisam kod kuce ja mogu da zadrzim paznju, udubim se i uzivam u citanju.
Volela bih da taj osecaj mogu sebi da priustim redovno, ali kada nisam na putu mi sve drugo oko mene smeta, bez obzira na to da li imam ili nemam slobodno vreme, jednostavno nemam dovoljno fokusa da izdrzim vise od dve stranice bilo koje knjige. Filmove i serije gledam, valjda jer radnja ide pa ide, a ja mogu da malo skrenem i na nesto drugo paznju na minut/sekund pa se vratim, ali knjige nikako.

Kakva su vasa iskustva, da li ste nekad imali ovakav problem? I kako odrzavate naviku citanja?

Razumem da mozda neko prosto voli da cita i cita ceo zivot, pa mu je ovo pitanje cudno, ali eto ako vam nesto pada na pamet ipak, volela bih da cujem.

cao devojke, zanima me sta mislite - da li nadogradjene trepavice (nista ekstremno sad, 1:1) izgledaju uredno ili tacky?

nek radi ko sta voli, vise me interesuje misljenje ovako generalno jer ga ja svako malo menjam. malo mi se svidja pa hocu da zakazem, malo me ponese clean girl trend pa necu nista nadogradjeno i tako u krug

cao svima :)) htela bih da cesce nosim stikle, inace nemam problem sa hodanjem u njima ali ipak sam ih do sad nosila samo na svadbama/krstenjima i reetko kad u izlascima - a tu nisu isti uslovi plus previse svecano izgledaju za svakodnevno nosenje
Htela bih neke stikle srednje visine oko 7-8 cm koje su prikladne za svaki dan i setnju po gradu.
Nasla sam dosta nekih preporuka po Toktoku, ali su od stranaca i za brendove koje kod nas ne mogu ni da probam, ni da kupim

Stvar je i u udobnosti i u izgledu, treba mi nesto da izgleda koliko toliko opustenije, da ne izgleda napadno i neprikladno, pa ako ima devojaka koje znaju na sta mislim i koje nose takve stikle redovno pls share your wisdom ♡

I feel like the last couple of months completely changed the way I see my relationship, and I honestly don’t know anymore whether I’m finally seeing things clearly or whether I’m simply overwhelmed.

We’ve been together for six years and living together for five. I still love him, which is what makes all of this so confusing.

His mom is physically and mentally ill. She regularly threatens suicide. She verbally abuses him and his brother almost every day, refuses treatment and will not accept professional care. Their parents are divorced, and their dad is not involved in looking after her, so almost all of the responsibility falls on the two of them. What hurts me is that nobody in the family seems willing to openly address what is happening or seriously try to change anything. They treat it like an impossible situation that everyone just has to survive.

I know he did not choose this life. I understand how much pressure and guilt he carries, and I think that is one of the main reasons I have spent years explaining away my own feelings.

At the same time, I no longer feel like we actually have a relationship. We technically live together, but most days it feels like he lives his life somewhere else and comes home at night. We usually go for a walk or watch a series, and that is almost the full extent of the time we share. There is no emotional intimacy, and there has not been physical intimacy for two or three years. We do not naturally talk about our relationship, our feelings or our future unless I initiate it.

When I try, he becomes defensive almost immediately, and what I hoped would be a calm conversation quickly turns into an argument. It never feels like two people trying to understand each other. It feels like I am repeatedly crying for help.

For years, I have had to initiate almost everything that matters. I ask for help with the apartment, for intentional time together, for plans, for conversations about children and our future, and for problems to be addressed instead of avoided.

I even had to keep asking for his dad and my parents to finally meet after five years of us living together. It reached the point where I felt embarrassed because I couldn’t give my parents any logical explanation for why it still hadn’t happened. He agreed many times that he would make it happen, but he never did. By itself, this isn’t a huge issue obviously, but I’m only mentioning it because it’s one of many things that, over the years, made me feel like our relationship was never really being prioritized.

Not every plan I suggested was ignored. We did see friends, go to the theatre and have good moments, which is probably part of why we are still together. The problem is that almost everything had to begin with me asking, waiting and pushing for an answer while he postponed deciding because he was overwhelmed by work or his mother, or needed to check with his brother whether we could go out for a few hours. By the time anything finally happened, I was often already too overwhelmed to enjoy it. If I seemed nervous or not visibly happy and grateful enough, I was made to feel guilty because, despite everything he was going through, he had still done what I wanted, so I was treated as though I had no right to be unhappy anymore.

His words make me feel like I am his family and that we are building a life together, but his actions have repeatedly made me feel secondary. Even on his birthdays, he celebrates with his family first and picks me up afterward. In six years, I have never really been included in his family life. I met his mother once by chance before she became ill, and I have no relationship with his father either. There is always an explanation for it, but the result is that I have spent years feeling like I am both his closest person and someone kept outside the most important parts of his life.

What I want is not perfect communication. I want initiative. I want him to sometimes notice that we are drifting apart and ask if we can talk. I want him to care enough about the relationship to begin those conversations himself instead of leaving the entire emotional responsibility to me. I feel completely drained from carrying it alone.

The lack of physical intimacy did not happen because I stopped loving him. Somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling emotionally close enough, and every attempt to explain that ended without any real change. He tends to avoid problems and act as though they will disappear if we have a pleasant evening, go for a walk, watch something together and behave normally.

Because sharing my feelings rarely felt safe or productive, I slowly learned to pretend I was fine. I pushed everything down until I eventually exploded, and then he told me he had known the whole time that I was not okay. I still cannot understand why he could see that happening and allow it to continue until I completely fell apart.

He has OCD, and I know he did not choose it. I do not blame him for having it, but I no longer know where his condition ends and the problems in our relationship begin. During arguments, the focus often shifts to managing his anxiety instead of discussing what happened. Before I even have time to understand my own feelings, I am already thinking about how to protect him from them.

The hardest part is that I do not trust my own perception anymore.

Whenever he explains how difficult his life is, I believe him because his situation is objectively painful. Then I immediately start treating my own hurt as less important, as though I have no right to be affected because his circumstances are worse. I rarely manage to validate myself before I begin telling myself that I should simply be more understanding.

Years of living that way brought me here.

I started therapy because I realised I could not continue like this. It is helping me reconnect with my emotions, but now I feel all of them at once. I feel terrible almost every day. I do not know what I think, what is real or how I am supposed to function. I can barely work or participate in my own life. I honestly just want all of this to stop, and sometimes I want to disappear from it too.

My therapist suggested couples therapy. I was already exhausted by then, but I still told him because I hoped he would immediately agree. Instead, it became another conversation that kept being postponed.

I spent days asking him just to tell me what he thought. I was not asking him to find a therapist or make an appointment. I only wanted us to talk about it, but even that felt impossible because he kept saying that he was already working on himself. I know he is trying in certain ways, but most of that work is about surviving his current situation rather than repairing our relationship.

I have tried to leave more than once. Each time, his sadness overwhelms me. He tells me that I am the most important person in his life, that he loves me and cannot imagine living without me. Then I stop trusting myself and stay.

Whenever I question the relationship, I end up wondering whether I am abandoning someone who is already suffering. Another part of me keeps returning to a much simpler thought.
Regardless of how tragic his family situation is, he either cannot or does not want to make our relationship a priority alongside it. I hate myself for thinking that because I know how much compassion I have for everything he carries.

A few times during our relationship, I have had what felt like complete emotional breakdowns after holding everything inside for too long. Those are usually the only moments when something changes. Once I collapse, he suddenly wants to talk, agrees to therapy or promises that we will work on things. It has taught me that I need to completely fall apart before I can be heard.

I feel like I have lost myself. I do not know what I want, where my sense of direction went or whether I should stay or leave.

What scares me even more is that I cannot imagine a relationship that feels different. When I picture a future without him, I cannot imagine another partner who naturally talks about feelings, makes shared plans, notices problems early or creates a sense of peace. Hearing other couples describe feeling emotionally safe makes me jealous even when they are talking about ordinary things like laughing together, planning a weekend away, going camping. I want that life, to feel we are like a team. I sincerely believe I am capable to love someone like that..

I am deeply hurt that this is where we ended up. I do not understand how he got here, and I do not know how I did either.
I still love him, and I still believe he is a good person. That is exactly why I cannot trust myself enough to leave.

I have spent years trying to explain all of this to him. I have spoken to my family and friends, some of whom understood more than others, but most of those conversations only made me feel more alone and isolated. I have gone through it repeatedly with my therapist. At this point, I do not even know what I could tell a couples therapist that does not sound foolish and meaningless.

I do not know what to believe anymore. I do not know how to make a decision or how to save myself from this feelings, with him or without..

My boyfriend has OCD. He considers himself recovered because he got through the worst of it on his own and compared to how things used to be, he’s doing much better (his words, we do not know each other that long). But from my perspective, I still see many patterns and compulsions but he doesn’t seem to see them as something that needs treatment.
I don’t know if I should just accept that and support him the way he wants, or if my concerns are valid.
I’ve been afraid of him relapsing for all years we spent together. I’m also scared of what our future might look like if we have children one day. I worry that they could see his compulsions and imitate them. That idea is horrifying to me. I know I’m thinking far ahead, and I’m working on that in therapy because I tend to catastrophize and worry about the future. But the fear is still there and I don’t know what to do with it. Another thing I struggle with, and feel incredibly guilty even admitting, is that sometimes I’m no longer sure where the OCD ends and where our relationship dynamics begin. There are moments when it feels like OCD becomes an escape from every difficult conversation or uncomfortable situation. Whenever I try to bring up something that hurts me or affects our relationship, the focus quickly shifts to how distressed he is, how much anxiety he’s feeling, or how triggering the conversation is. I understand that this distress is real, and I know OCD can make even ordinary situations feel unbearable. But after a while, I start feeling like there’s never room for my feelings too.
I honestly don’t know if this is my own anxiety talking, if I’m misunderstanding OCD, or if this can happen in relationships where one partner has OCD. That’s why I’m asking. I don’t want to be unfair to him, but I also don’t want to ignore my own experience just because I feel guilty for questioning it.
The biggest problem is that I feel like I can’t talk to him about OCD to understand more and maybe tune down my fear. Every time I bring it up, he immediately becomes way too uncomfortable and defensive about it not being a big deal and me being terrible for pointing it out atm, and we almost always end up arguing. Eventually I stop saying anything most of the time. When I notice him doing a compulsion, I usually stay quiet because I don’t want to upset him. That has been the only way he considers me supportive for now…
But I don’t know if I can keep doing that. Every time I notice it, I become incredibly anxious and obsessed with it, spiraling around the thoughts I mentioned.
How do you talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk about their OCD? How do you support them to lead them to recovery and not enable them? Do I just have to get used to it? And how do you stop living with this constant fear that the OCD will get worse and take over everything, us and our future?
Even writing this makes me feel awful. My heart is pounding because I am scared this could trigger someone or make me sound cruel. I know he did not choose this, and I feel like a terrible person for being so affected by his compulsions.
I am not writing this to judge, I love him and I want to understand. I just feel scared and do not know which fears are reasonable and which come from my own anxiety. I do not know how to support him without feeling afraid all the time…
I want to show support, patience, so both of us could feel safe and understood.

I (f29) had a fight with one of my closest friends (f29) and I don’t know what to do now.
I know I’m often late and I know it’s annoying, but this time she said they’d be there in five minutes, I said, “Okay, let me just brush my teeth and I’ll come out,” they arrived a minute earlier, waited briefly and I came out.
Then she made a comment like, “I told you when we left for nothing, since you were late anyway,” and I felt that same tension I often feel with her, where she puts herself above the situation and it becomes very clear that she is right and I am wrong.
For the first time, I felt like I had to react.
The conversation continued in the car and at some point I went quiet because I started crying, but she didn’t notice, so I tried to calm down because I was embarrassed and I never cry in front of my friends.
When we got out, I walked behind them because I wanted a minute to pull myself together, but then she noticed, laughed, and said something like, “Are you seriously crying?”
I asked, “You think this is funny?” and she said yes, so I left because I felt completely overwhelmed and couldn’t keep standing on the street crying and falling apart in front of everyone.
Our other friend yelled, “We’re not kids to react like this,” and then she called me, but the call came from her, not from the friend who had just laughed at me while I was crying, so it felt like she didn’t care.
I cried the whole way home and for hours after.
Later I texted her because I wanted her to understand that these feelings had built up over time, that I feel like there is room only for her perspective, that I expect judgment when I talk about my problems, and that I haven’t felt safe talking about my life for a long time.
She replied that she understood, but then said my reaction and immaturity surprised her, that my crying was funny because she didn’t understand why she was suddenly being attacked, and that something else had upset me so I took it out on her.
I explained again that I was talking about a pattern in our friendship, and she said she understood, but then said maybe when something doesn’t make sense to her and keeps happening, she should just ignore it.
That comment made me feel like she missed everything I was trying to say, because I wanted empathy, curiosity, questions, and an attempt to understand why I felt the way I did.
For years I listened to her cry over her ex for hours and hours, I listened when she fought with people and said everyone was an idiot and she was the only normal one, I worried when she drove after drinking, and even when I disagreed with many things she did, I still listened and tried to understand.
Now I feel like I gave her years of space for her feelings, but I don’t recognize that same space for mine.
I know I should have said this earlier, because I usually stay quiet and swallow things, and now it all came out badly.
I feel ashamed that I left like that, but at the same time I felt relieved because something I had kept inside for years finally came out.
We haven’t spoken since and I genuinely don’t know what to do now…how to deal with everything, should I act like nothing happened? I also have this idea in my head that she’s probably talking about this with one of her friends right now and making fun of how I reacted. I know that’s an assumption but she dors talk about other friends and conflicts in her life like that and because of that, I don’t trust that she would protect me in this situation. I don’t trust that she’d say, “I don’t understand what happened, but she was really upset and I want to check if she’s okay.” I expect something more like, “She was immature and was obviously going through something.” I think this changed something for me because I realized I don’t trust that she would handle my vulnerability with care.

I think that’s also why this hurts so much, we are supposed to be best friends…
Am I expecting too much?

I (f29) had a fight with one of my closest friends (f39) and I don’t know what to do now.
I know I’m often late and I know it’s annoying, but this time she said they’d be there in five minutes, I said, “Okay, let me just brush my teeth and I’ll come out,” they arrived a minute earlier, waited briefly and I came out.
Then she made a comment like, “I told you when we left for nothing, since you were late anyway,” and I felt that same tension I often feel with her, where she puts herself above the situation and it becomes very clear that she is right and I am wrong.
For the first time, I felt like I had to react.
The conversation continued in the car and at some point I went quiet because I started crying, but she didn’t notice, so I tried to calm down because I was embarrassed and I never cry in front of my friends.
When we got out, I walked behind them because I wanted a minute to pull myself together, but then she noticed, laughed, and said something like, “Are you seriously crying?”
I asked, “You think this is funny?” and she said yes, so I left because I felt completely overwhelmed and couldn’t keep standing on the street crying and falling apart in front of everyone.
Our other friend yelled, “We’re not kids to react like this,” and then she called me, but the call came from her, not from the friend who had just laughed at me while I was crying, so it felt like she didn’t care.
I cried the whole way home and for hours after.
Later I texted her because I wanted her to understand that these feelings had built up over time, that I feel like there is room only for her perspective, that I expect judgment when I talk about my problems, and that I haven’t felt safe talking about my life for a long time.
She replied that she understood, but then said my reaction and immaturity surprised her, that my crying was funny because she didn’t understand why she was suddenly being attacked, and that something else had upset me so I took it out on her.
I explained again that I was talking about a pattern in our friendship, and she said she understood, but then said maybe when something doesn’t make sense to her and keeps happening, she should just ignore it.
That comment made me feel like she missed everything I was trying to say, because I wanted empathy, curiosity, questions, and an attempt to understand why I felt the way I did.
For years I listened to her cry over her ex for hours and hours, I listened when she fought with people and said everyone was an idiot and she was the only normal one, I worried when she drove after drinking, and even when I disagreed with many things she did, I still listened and tried to understand.
Now I feel like I gave her years of space for her feelings, but I don’t recognize that same space for mine.
I know I should have said this earlier, because I usually stay quiet and swallow things, and now it all came out badly.
I feel ashamed that I left like that, but at the same time I felt relieved because something I had kept inside for years finally came out.
We haven’t spoken since and I genuinely don’t know what to do now…how to deal with everything, should I act like nothing happened? I also have this idea in my head that she’s probably talking about this with one of her friends right now and making fun of how I reacted. I know that’s an assumption but she dors talk about other friends and conflicts in her life like that and because of that, I don’t trust that she would protect me in this situation. I don’t trust that she’d say, “I don’t understand what happened, but she was really upset and I want to check if she’s okay.” I expect something more like, “She was immature and was obviously going through something.” I think this changed something for me because I realized I don’t trust that she would handle my vulnerability with care.

I think that’s also why this hurts so much, we are supposed to be best friends…
Am I expecting too much?

ok, before i officially lose my mind, i need advice. last night something happened that might have been the last straw

i apologize in advance for the long text, but i want you to see the whole situation and tell me AM I THE CRAZY ONE HERE? i am literally alone in the world and don’t have anyone to ask..

so my boyfriend (30) and i have been together for 6 years now. i would not say our relationship has been perfect – we had a lot of ups and downs, but we stayed together through it all

fast forward, there have been job issues, parents getting ill, family dysfunction, and i don’t think we handled all of that very well. still, i believed that eventually everything would fall into place. through all of this, it always seemed like objectively he had it worse. there were even comments from his side about how i am lucky in life, and as someone who wants to look at things positively and genuinely find gratitude in everything i have, i accepted that. at the end of the day, that’s how i was raised – that thinking negatively brings bad things (and yes, we can talk about how problematic that is, but that’s not the point now)

many things in our life simply don’t look the way we said we both wanted them to, because of all these problems – everything is done with struggle, forced, there is no hanging out with friends unless i insist, no traveling unless i insist, no dates unless i insist...
and somehow in the meantime i got used to that and accepted it, because i always got the answer that he doesn’t want it that way either, but he feels bad and tries to do those things for me when i want them... i never really had a response to that, i accepted it – he feels bad, he can’t, but he tries

when my father got sick, i went through it alone because “at least I do not get abused by my parents like he does.” at the same time, i am someone who by nature likes to process grief alone because i have this toxic positivity where i feel ungrateful when i am sad. when it comes to his parents “abusing” him – because of illness they demand attention 24/7, feeding, bathing, and all possible care even though there is no real justification for it, just a psychological condition that i never fully understood because i was kept away from it all under the excuse that they don’t want me involved. supposedly they constantly insult him and say horrible things, and he wants to spare me from that. this has been going on for 4 years, and he spends 8–9 hours every day with them

a few days ago i got laid off. as someone very ambitious, and someone who all this time while he was with his parents found escape in work, this hit me really hard. since i react quickly, i somehow managed in that chaos to get even two job offers, but the whole process is extremely stressful and uncertain, the industry is in crisis, and i don’t even know if i can do any of it. still, i feel the need to stay positive because how lucky am i that this even happened! i still can’t eat from the stress, i shake during the day, but i know everything will be fine, it’s just my body going through stress

since my boyfriend has been very stressed at work for 2 years, under the excuse that that’s just how the job and company are, i didn’t want to burden him with this, or i didn’t feel like he could help me. i shared only as much as he asked, which was more like a casual update conversation, and that was it

now we get to last night – as i mentioned, the issue of not traveling has existed, and for two months i’ve been pushing him to set a vacation date, which always got postponed by a couple of days. last night he came and said we have to book the sea trip and set a date because his boss told him he needs to know by tomorrow morning. at this moment, i am just starting a new job where my employers are aware i was previously laid off, since it’s the same system of companies – i won’t go into details, but basically i was given a chance to prove myself, i didn’t come in as someone who knows everything. and i am very, very scared i won’t succeed. and i am already carrying that stress, and now he is putting pressure on me to decide that same evening and book, without taking into account ANY of this, or that i need to ASK for time off – it’s just like, that’s it, he has to book now

i tried to calmly say wait, i need to ask first, it can’t be today, i’ve been chasing you for 2 months, how is it suddenly urgent now. and he shut me down and took his phone to scroll through messages to find what i wrote during the day (i wrote “okay, we’ll look at the sea today”) – but that act of him taking the phone to check messages instead of asking me and talking, even if either of us was wrong...

i don’t even know how to structure my thoughts anymore...

i don’t know... am i overreacting???

i got up and said i’m going to sleep and that we won’t choose the vacation that night, and that if he insists on it, he can consider us broken up. saying i was ANGRY is an understatement. i still am

have i been stuck this whole time in something completely meaningless???? or did i mess up here... i don’t trust myself... i don’t know what i’m doing.. please help me

(i used chatgpt to fix my grammar, it something seems off - it is not AI, i am just too upset to write properly in english, i hope you understand)

EDIT: During the fight last night, he told me that he cares about my job situation, but that he simply believes in me and knows I will figure it out eventually. I mean, that’s nice, I believe in myself too, but isn’t the point of a partnership to share things
i mean, i consider him a good, funny guy…
right now it seems like that is not enough, but the thing is, when a fight like this happens, he asks me what he should do next and i end up figuring out what is feasible and how i can adjust to whatever is happening at that moment. like, i do not want him to lose his job, i can manage… and so on. but now i’m looking at it and thinking - why is it always me, why can’t he sometimes figure things out on his own? like how to present things at work and handle situations with more problem-solving on his side?
how is it that i am seen as the “lucky one” where everything just worked out for me, i mean i WORKED for that?
but then the story turns towards his parents being abusive to him, and i keep feeling like the shittiest person alive when i think about this so coldly and cruelly… i mean, you have to do something about it… i have suggested therapy multiple times...
i do not know what to do...

ok, before i officially lose my mind, i need advice. last night something happened that might have been the last straw

i apologize in advance for the long text, but i want you to see the whole situation and tell me AM I THE CRAZY ONE HERE? i am literally alone in the world and don’t have anyone to ask..

so my boyfriend (30) and i have been together for 6 years now. i would not say our relationship has been perfect – we had a lot of ups and downs, but we stayed together through it all

fast forward, there have been job issues, parents getting ill, family dysfunction, and i don’t think we handled all of that very well. still, i believed that eventually everything would fall into place. through all of this, it always seemed like objectively he had it worse. there were even comments from his side about how i am lucky in life, and as someone who wants to look at things positively and genuinely find gratitude in everything i have, i accepted that. at the end of the day, that’s how i was raised – that thinking negatively brings bad things (and yes, we can talk about how problematic that is, but that’s not the point now)

many things in our life simply don’t look the way we said we both wanted them to, because of all these problems – everything is done with struggle, forced, there is no hanging out with friends unless i insist, no traveling unless i insist, no dates unless i insist...
and somehow in the meantime i got used to that and accepted it, because i always got the answer that he doesn’t want it that way either, but he feels bad and tries to do those things for me when i want them... i never really had a response to that, i accepted it – he feels bad, he can’t, but he tries

when my father got sick, i went through it alone because “at least I do not get abused by my parents like he does.” at the same time, i am someone who by nature likes to process grief alone because i have this toxic positivity where i feel ungrateful when i am sad. when it comes to his parents “abusing” him – because of illness they demand attention 24/7, feeding, bathing, and all possible care even though there is no real justification for it, just a psychological condition that i never fully understood because i was kept away from it all under the excuse that they don’t want me involved. supposedly they constantly insult him and say horrible things, and he wants to spare me from that. this has been going on for 4 years, and he spends 8–9 hours every day with them

a few days ago i got laid off. as someone very ambitious, and someone who all this time while he was with his parents found escape in work, this hit me really hard. since i react quickly, i somehow managed in that chaos to get even two job offers, but the whole process is extremely stressful and uncertain, the industry is in crisis, and i don’t even know if i can do any of it. still, i feel the need to stay positive because how lucky am i that this even happened! i still can’t eat from the stress, i shake during the day, but i know everything will be fine, it’s just my body going through stress

since my boyfriend has been very stressed at work for 2 years, under the excuse that that’s just how the job and company are, i didn’t want to burden him with this, or i didn’t feel like he could help me. i shared only as much as he asked, which was more like a casual update conversation, and that was it

now we get to last night – as i mentioned, the issue of not traveling has existed, and for two months i’ve been pushing him to set a vacation date, which always got postponed by a couple of days. last night he came and said we have to book the sea trip and set a date because his boss told him he needs to know by tomorrow morning. at this moment, i am just starting a new job where my employers are aware i was previously laid off, since it’s the same system of companies – i won’t go into details, but basically i was given a chance to prove myself, i didn’t come in as someone who knows everything. and i am very, very scared i won’t succeed. and i am already carrying that stress, and now he is putting pressure on me to decide that same evening and book, without taking into account ANY of this, or that i need to ASK for time off – it’s just like, that’s it, he has to book now

i tried to calmly say wait, i need to ask first, it can’t be today, i’ve been chasing you for 2 months, how is it suddenly urgent now. and he shut me down and took his phone to scroll through messages to find what i wrote during the day (i wrote “okay, we’ll look at the sea today”) – but that act of him taking the phone to check messages instead of asking me and talking, even if either of us was wrong...

i don’t even know how to structure my thoughts anymore...

i don’t know... am i overreacting???

i got up and said i’m going to sleep and that we won’t choose the vacation that night, and that if he insists on it, he can consider us broken up. saying i was ANGRY is an understatement. i still am

have i been stuck this whole time in something completely meaningless???? or did i mess up here... i don’t trust myself... i don’t know what i’m doing.. please help me

(i used chatgpt to fix my grammar, it something seems off - it is not AI, i am just too upset to write properly in english, i hope you understand)

EDIT: During the fight last night, he told me that he cares about my job situation, but that he simply believes in me and knows I will figure it out eventually. I mean, that’s nice, I believe in myself too, but isn’t the point of a partnership to share things

ok, before i officially lose my mind, i need advice. last night something happened that might have been the last straw

i apologize in advance for the long text, but i want you to see the whole situation and tell me AM I THE CRAZY ONE HERE? i am literally alone in the world and don’t have anyone to ask..

so my boyfriend (30) and i have been together for 6 years now. i would not say our relationship has been perfect – we had a lot of ups and downs, but we stayed together through it all

fast forward, there have been job issues, parents getting ill, family dysfunction, and i don’t think we handled all of that very well. still, i believed that eventually everything would fall into place. through all of this, it always seemed like objectively he had it worse. there were even comments from his side about how i am lucky in life, and as someone who wants to look at things positively and genuinely find gratitude in everything i have, i accepted that. at the end of the day, that’s how i was raised – that thinking negatively brings bad things (and yes, we can talk about how problematic that is, but that’s not the point now)

many things in our life simply don’t look the way we said we both wanted them to, because of all these problems – everything is done with struggle, forced, there is no hanging out with friends unless i insist, no traveling unless i insist, no dates unless i insist...

and somehow in the meantime i got used to that and accepted it, because i always got the answer that he doesn’t want it that way either, but he feels bad and tries to do those things for me when i want them... i never really had a response to that, i accepted it – he feels bad, he can’t, but he tries

when my father got sick, i went through it alone because “at least I do not get abused by my parents like he does.” at the same time, i am someone who by nature likes to process grief alone because i have this toxic positivity where i feel ungrateful when i am sad. when it comes to his parents “abusing” him – because of illness they demand attention 24/7, feeding, bathing, and all possible care even though there is no real justification for it, just a psychological condition that i never fully understood because i was kept away from it all under the excuse that they don’t want me involved. supposedly they constantly insult him and say horrible things, and he wants to spare me from that. this has been going on for 4 years, and he spends 8–9 hours every day with them

a few days ago i got laid off. as someone very ambitious, and someone who all this time while he was with his parents found escape in work, this hit me really hard. since i react quickly, i somehow managed in that chaos to get even two job offers, but the whole process is extremely stressful and uncertain, the industry is in crisis, and i don’t even know if i can do any of it. still, i feel the need to stay positive because how lucky am i that this even happened! i still can’t eat from the stress, i shake during the day, but i know everything will be fine, it’s just my body going through stress

since my boyfriend has been very stressed at work for 2 years, under the excuse that that’s just how the job and company are, i didn’t want to burden him with this, or i didn’t feel like he could help me. i shared only as much as he asked, which was more like a casual update conversation, and that was it

now we get to last night – as i mentioned, the issue of not traveling has existed, and for two months i’ve been pushing him to set a vacation date, which always got postponed by a couple of days. last night he came and said we have to book the sea trip and set a date because his boss told him he needs to know by tomorrow morning. at this moment, i am just starting a new job where my employers are aware i was previously laid off, since it’s the same system of companies – i won’t go into details, but basically i was given a chance to prove myself, i didn’t come in as someone who knows everything. and i am very, very scared i won’t succeed. and i am already carrying that stress, and now he is putting pressure on me to decide that same evening and book, without taking into account ANY of this, or that i need to ASK for time off – it’s just like, that’s it, he has to book now

i tried to calmly say wait, i need to ask first, it can’t be today, i’ve been chasing you for 2 months, how is it suddenly urgent now. and he shut me down and took his phone to scroll through messages to find what i wrote during the day (i wrote “okay, we’ll look at the sea today”) – but that act of him taking the phone to check messages instead of asking me and talking, even if either of us was wrong...

i don’t even know how to structure my thoughts anymore...

i don’t know... am i overreacting???

i got up and said i’m going to sleep and that we won’t choose the vacation that night, and that if he insists on it, he can consider us broken up. saying i was ANGRY is an understatement. i still am

have i been stuck this whole time in something completely meaningless???? or did i mess up here... i don’t trust myself... i don’t know what i’m doing.. please help me

(i used chatgpt to fix my grammar, it something seems off - it is not AI, i am just too upset to write properly in english, i hope you understand)

tl;dr: after 6 years in a relationship marked by emotional distance, and uneven responsibility for maintaining shared activities - my boyfriend, who is also under long-term work and family pressure, insisted we urgently book a vacation without considering my current situation

ok, before i officially lose my mind, i need advice. last night something happened that might have been the last straw

i apologize in advance for the long text, but i want you to see the whole situation and tell me AM I THE CRAZY ONE HERE? i am literally alone in the world and don’t have anyone to ask..

so my boyfriend (30) and i have been together for 6 years now. i would not say our relationship has been perfect – we had a lot of ups and downs, but we stayed together through it all

fast forward, there have been job issues, parents getting ill, family dysfunction, and i don’t think we handled all of that very well. still, i believed that eventually everything would fall into place. through all of this, it always seemed like objectively he had it worse. there were even comments from his side about how i am lucky in life, and as someone who wants to look at things positively and genuinely find gratitude in everything i have, i accepted that. at the end of the day, that’s how i was raised – that thinking negatively brings bad things (and yes, we can talk about how problematic that is, but that’s not the point now)

many things in our life simply don’t look the way we said we both wanted them to, because of all these problems – everything is done with struggle, forced, there is no hanging out with friends unless i insist, no traveling unless i insist, no dates unless i insist...
and somehow in the meantime i got used to that and accepted it, because i always got the answer that he doesn’t want it that way either, but he feels bad and tries to do those things for me when i want them... i never really had a response to that, i accepted it – he feels bad, he can’t, but he tries

when my father got sick, i went through it alone because “at least I do not get abused by my parents like he does.” at the same time, i am someone who by nature likes to process grief alone because i have this toxic positivity where i feel ungrateful when i am sad. when it comes to his parents “abusing” him – because of illness they demand attention 24/7, feeding, bathing, and all possible care even though there is no real justification for it, just a psychological condition that i never fully understood because i was kept away from it all under the excuse that they don’t want me involved. supposedly they constantly insult him and say horrible things, and he wants to spare me from that. this has been going on for 4 years, and he spends 8–9 hours every day with them

a few days ago i got laid off. as someone very ambitious, and someone who all this time while he was with his parents found escape in work, this hit me really hard. since i react quickly, i somehow managed in that chaos to get even two job offers, but the whole process is extremely stressful and uncertain, the industry is in crisis, and i don’t even know if i can do any of it. still, i feel the need to stay positive because how lucky am i that this even happened! i still can’t eat from the stress, i shake during the day, but i know everything will be fine, it’s just my body going through stress

since my boyfriend has been very stressed at work for 2 years, under the excuse that that’s just how the job and company are, i didn’t want to burden him with this, or i didn’t feel like he could help me. i shared only as much as he asked, which was more like a casual update conversation, and that was it

now we get to last night – as i mentioned, the issue of not traveling has existed, and for two months i’ve been pushing him to set a vacation date, which always got postponed by a couple of days. last night he came and said we have to book the sea trip and set a date because his boss told him he needs to know by tomorrow morning. at this moment, i am just starting a new job where my employers are aware i was previously laid off, since it’s the same system of companies – i won’t go into details, but basically i was given a chance to prove myself, i didn’t come in as someone who knows everything. and i am very, very scared i won’t succeed. and i am already carrying that stress, and now he is putting pressure on me to decide that same evening and book, without taking into account ANY of this, or that i need to ASK for time off – it’s just like, that’s it, he has to book now

i tried to calmly say wait, i need to ask first, it can’t be today, i’ve been chasing you for 2 months, how is it suddenly urgent now. and he shut me down and took his phone to scroll through messages to find what i wrote during the day (i wrote “okay, we’ll look at the sea today”) – but that act of him taking the phone to check messages instead of asking me and talking, even if either of us was wrong...

i don’t even know how to structure my thoughts anymore...

i don’t know... am i overreacting???

i got up and said i’m going to sleep and that we won’t choose the vacation that night, and that if he insists on it, he can consider us broken up. saying i was ANGRY is an understatement. i still am

have i been stuck this whole time in something completely meaningless???? or did i mess up here... i don’t trust myself... i don’t know what i’m doing.. please help me

(i used chatgpt to fix my grammar, it something seems off - it is not AI, i am just too upset to write properly in english, i hope you understand)

EDIT: During the fight last night, he told me that he cares about my job situation, but that he simply believes in me and knows I will figure it out eventually. I mean, that’s nice, I believe in myself too, but isn’t the point of a partnership to share things and support each other in a more active way?

hi all
traveling soon to geneva, and as i like having tiny tattoo memories, i would like to get one tiny font/fine line tattoo there :) i tried finding through tiktok and instagram, but no one really stands out. ideally it’s a safe place around the city centre that allows walk-ins.
does that exist, and do you have any recommendations?
all best, tyy