u/Ok-Cartoonist-8919

My 3.5 year old is pushing boundaries bad at the moment

A perfect example is

She’s in bed with me right now
Her baby brother is in the bassinet next to me

After 10 mins trying to sleep she said she wants to say goodnight to her dad again.

I said no you can’t right now his in the shower.
She starts crying loud and angry saying what a mean person I am.

I just kept saying “your dads in the shower, you already said goodnight it’s time to sleep and lay down”
I had to pull a 5,4,3,2,1 if this continues your going to your bed and she stopped.

In between that was like trying to wrestle a bull to get her to calm down.

Another example she was waving her fairy wand near her brother with long bits earlier I said “ops be careful you early smacked him” she threw her wand screamed and ran down the hall way and slammed her bedroom draws and purposely made large noise.

She gets really upset easily is my point

At kinder she started really good but has gone down hill.

She never crys at drop off but gets sad real easily by mid day apparently she begins crying and doesn’t show much joy.

She tells me “kinders boring inside but I like outside” her teachers tell
Me she needs encouragement to join in play and make friends because her and the other kids easily get frustrated with each other.

My daughter can be bossy.

She much prefers teachers but has also reported she doesn’t like one of her teachers (it’s the teacher who’s only there to cover breaks.
Apparently she tells her to keep her eyes closed during rest time and to go off and play instead of following her.

I feel stuck.
I keep encouraging using words, calling strategies, helping her navigate big emotions but it feels like every time I pick her up I’m told “she seems tired or moody today” in some form or another.

I see other children just having a quick pick up I feel bad.

I’m sad she is anxious going to kinder.
She’s not angry there apparently like she is at home but apparently a worrier and emotional/tired.

Tired means bored mostly.

How can I navigate this time with her?

My babies is five months old on Sunday and he started rolling from stomach to back maybe three or four weeks ago and he’s probably done it about 8 to 9 times altogether.

Maybe even slightly more but it’s not daily like today was the first time he rolled in about two days two days ago. Maybe he went a couple of days without it as well. The other week he went a whole week without doing it.
Not sure if I should say his met this
Milestone or not.

Honestly, I don’t know why I do this. It’s particular particularly if I’m watching a movie and I don’t do it every time but I get my finger and I almost trace basic face shapes on my leg.

Also I’m trying to figure out whether I have adhd or asd as an adult so I don’t know if it’s some strange sensory thing
But ye I’ve always done this

I feel my 3 year old is next level attention seeking

I can’t fill her cup enough

When I drop her off at her grandparents apoaranrnot she’s well behaved

Whe I come back to get her I stay for dinner

I ussually first thing spend time with her straight away when I get back so like some activity or experience like dancing some songs together or even just talking about her day because if I don’t she gets really annoyed saying you don’t play with me.

I also have a 4 month old.

Despite the baby sleeping and me not holding the baby she does This.

She will do things like climb in the pram basket when I say not too.

Go around the house in different rooms I tell her not to.

She wanted to eat a almond lolly I said you can’t have those and she grabbed it and slowly put it in her mouth despite me saying no.

Running up and jumping on the couch.

Tapping on glass.

Trying to wind open windows.

There are so many toys here from her older cousins like barbie plane, car cranes, books colouring in.
She won’t touch it.
She won’t play.

If I ask why arnt you playing she says I don’t know how too, I want to be played with.

I’m exhausted going through the 4 regression.
I do play with her but it’s never enough.
I do things like take her and play just with her give the baby to my husband and it’s not enough for her.

Right now she’s sitting on a step throwing a retail bag in the air.

I wis she would play with things.

We had her brothers Christning the other day, she kept going under the table and I felt my self getting irritated after telling her not to do it so many times so I asked my husband to swap seats with me

She screamed so loud saying I want mum
So I moved back.

I feel like she just doesn’t listen and is constantly doing things she knows she shouldn’t do.

Since she was 1 she would only want me in the early mornings and nights

It’s exhausting
So if I ever needed a sleep in she screams for me

Now I’m post partum
I’m sleeping with baby in another room
She wakes up
Screams for me
Dad tries to comfort her only wants me

It’s exhausting
It’s upsetting her dad
Who is so nice to her he never tells her off
I do

But it’s all she wants I feel like I’m going to be split in half

She gets so angry when he comes to comfort her in bed

Running my-year-old’s behaviour quite annoying whenever someone gives her baby brother attention she will get in his face and she’ll say it’s because I love him but she doesn’t do this unless people get him attention.

Her cousins just came over to play with her. They literally played for like 2 to 3 hours straight. I don’t even think they’ve looked at the baby while he naps and fed when they were leaving. They were kissing him and saying goodbye and cooling etc. With him.

She was constantly jumping in his face. I’m not getting nose to nose. Saying eeeee and laughing and always head buts him some how

I said enough getting so close you can talk and sing to him with out touching faces and showed her like us and your cousins
And she ignores and does it still.

She always did this no matter what and I find ir annoying because it isn’t gentle love it’s like look at me and maybe suns terrible right now I just find it annoying that’s all

Is this typical three year old behaviour to have an inability to listen for four months. I doubt her brother’s head. I’ve been telling her for this long now.

I know the answer might seem straight forward but babies are so interesting I wonder if they still learn things despite being able to practise it much.

I feel like my 4 month old is held a lot

Heaps of contact naps, Carrier and when his awake sometimes his just in the bouncer as I do work.
I didn’t realise how little floor time he was getting.

I have found his a little behind in some skills and I’m flagging it and his up commg visit.

I’m wondering is it possible that he hasn’t had the practice to lift up on his tummy as much and floor practise that it’s caused this

I never imagined I’d be writing something like this, but I think I’ve reached the point where I need help.
I’m a stay-at-home mum with a 3½-year-old daughter and a 4-month-old son. I have no independent income and very little idea of how I would actually leave.

The hardest part isn’t even what this marriage is doing to me anymore.
It’s what I’m watching it do to my children.
I know I’m not a perfect mum. Since falling pregnant with my second baby I’ve become exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious and much more reactive than I ever wanted to be. I hate that. I’m starting therapy next week because I know my children deserve a calmer, healthier version of me.

But I’m trying to parent in a home that feels emotionally unstable.

Most of our arguments start because I’m overwhelmed and ask for help. My husband says I complain too much, that I’m negative and make everything into a problem. Then the arguments escalate.

Today, after another sleepless night with our baby, I simply asked him if he could help me tonight because I couldn’t keep doing every night on my own.
Within minutes he was yelling, mocking me, calling me names, threatening divorce, saying he was staying at his mum’s, saying he was calling the real estate agent and telling me to call my parents and organise somewhere else for me and the children to stay.

The thing that frightens me is how quickly our entire family can become something that’s talked about as if it can just be abandoned.
Within minutes of an argument, our marriage, our home and our children’s lives are being spoken about as though they can simply be walked away from.

Our three-year-old saw all of it. She sees this all the time recently. I have no where to go and if I could I’d take the kids and leave.

After the argument he was supposed to take her to kinder. When he called her, she wouldn’t go because she was scared.

He told me to take her instead and walked out.
I was still in my pyjamas, breastfeeding our four-month-old while trying to comfort our terrified little girl.

About a minute later he came back because he’d forgotten something. I asked him if he could please apologise to her.

Instead, he looked at me and said, “Look, she won’t even come to me. It’s all your fault. What have you done to her?”

Then he left again.
After he left, I cried.

My daughter wrapped her arms around me and said, “Don’t cry Mum, it’s not your fault.”
Later she quietly said,
“My heart’s broken from my dad.”

I can’t stop thinking about those words. I can’t stop thinking about her comforting me and that she hid from her father.
I am now in a spiral thinking this kids going to need so much therapy.

Right now I don’t even know if he’s coming home tonight.

We have a big family function tomorrow again it all falls on me. I have to organise both children, get everything packed, somehow try to sleep, and I don’t even know whether their dad is going to walk through the front door tonight.
We also have a event for our own children next weekend and again, he doesn’t even know a single thing about how it’s organised and hasn’t helped or anything and is threatening he won’t come to that either.

Living with that uncertainty has become normal.
This isn’t one bad day.
It’s a pattern.

After our son was born after a few hours he left to go home and sleep with our daughter I sat alone in hospital because he didn’t come back the next morning and I couldn’t even contact him. His phone was dead. I had to call his mum to contact him he forgot to charge his phone he came at lunch time the next day.

Five weeks postpartum I woke up to discover he’d left the house while I was asleep with our newborn and toddler with friends down to the pub a few streets away.

When both children were vomiting recently and I told him I was overwhelmed, he still went out with friends he said I was probably lying about them bomiting and that it was probably their noodles on the floor.

He told me I also lied about falling down the stairs when I was pregnant.

He said all his friends think I’m a liar because when he has work friend events or outside friend events our kids are by chance sick at the same time and he thinks I lie to to keep him home.
I don’t lie. Our kids are sick frequently.

During arguments I’ve been told I’m a liar, that nobody likes me, that even my own family doesn’t like me, and that people think I’m crazy and that if we break up no one will have my back because I’m so emotional.

I know living in this environment has affected me.
I carry so much anxiety now. I feel constantly on edge, overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted.

I know there are days I’m not the calm mum I want to be because I’m surviving rather than living.

That isn’t the mother I want my children to have.
My daughter has a dad who threatens to leave our family during arguments.

She also has a mum who is trying her hardest but is carrying so much anxiety and emotional exhaustion that some days I barely recognise myself.
She deserves better than two parents who are struggling in different ways.

I love that little girl with every part of me. Every single day I try to make sure she knows she’s loved, safe and cherished. But love alone can’t erase the tension she lives around.
Lucky my sons to young to understand but I feel plenty sad for him having a dad who can’t control his emotions it scares me.

I’m scared that if this continues, growing up in this environment will affect her in ways I can’t undo.
I think I need to leave.
The problem is I don’t know how.

I’m financially dependent. I’m terrified of making the wrong decision. I don’t feel like I have much to offer if I leave, and the practical side feels overwhelming.
If you’ve been in this position, how did you leave? Where did you start? What support actually helped you and your children?

My mum and dad have this massive house but my sister is building her home and her family have taken over the spare rooms.

It’s so unfortunate they’ve been their for years and have a lot of money but have taken over the entire upstairs space.

If I have to I’ll as then to move their stuff but it would be hard.
Also my mum has put up with some of my dads own anger issues and never getting help from him so I feel like they would dismiss all my problems.

I feel like I have nothing and nowhere to go.

My daughter started sessional Kinder this year and summer. She had a pretty good opportunity to go without getting sick but this winter is honestly getting sick so frequently.

She goes some weeks doing the full two days, but then there be times where she misses completely or just goes once a week.

She’s having some emotional and social learning issues that they said would get better the more she comes in and I feel like her getting sick is preventing this.

Am I doing the right thing always keeping her home if she’s unwell?

My daughter had a kindergarten this year. I feel like in summer she had a pretty good run.
This winter every single week she is sick.

She either goes once a week or a week and sometimes gets to do two days.

Is this normal?!
She’s having some social and emotional challenges, especially since becoming a big sister and they have mentioned that it will be hard for her to progress if she keeps having time off but she’s always sick. How can I send her when she’s unwell?

😩

I just need to vent and I don’t know know feel like I need to have some others to relate too I guess

I’m finding 3.5 yr old really hard

I’ve lost my patience
My nervous system is out the window

I have a 4 month old too I get it’s also hard for her

But mannnnnnn

Shes 1. Addicted to the tv
It’s cold, we don’t have the most amazing space for a fun yard set up and the house is cluttered.
During pregnancy which was hard she got addicted I’d say and early post partum.

This stage of life I give into it it’s actually easier to have the tv on than off.

Then I feel guilty.

When I turn it off.

SHE just won’t play
She will say my legs hurt, I’m tired, I’m bored.

She has barbies, barbie house my sister just donated her you think she would
Be like all over it.
Unless I play with her she WILL not play on her own.

She plays by taking her toys out of containers and cussing them out and then leaving them on the floor.

The house is a mess.
She would rather play with her baby’s toys that make sounds pop or make music.
It’s driving me crazy how may nice things she has and she wants his toys.
I think it’s an attention thing.

Things that keep her busier than normal (drawing, playdough and panting) but even then unless I’m with her she will do it for hardly any time.

She gets so angry so easily.
We were painting today and I was doing grass and she said my grass doesn’t look like yours and then started getting mad and scribbled and gave up and walked away.

I have to remind her 5000 times to eat her food.

When I ask her something i have to be like heloooo are you listening because she’s zoned out.

It sounds so mean and bad but I feel like she’s either glued to the tv or glued to me.

There is nothing in between.

She does kindy twice a week and apparently she likes to follow teachers around and I know it’s is because she gets bored playing

She much prefers adult stimulation than children’s.

She’s so bossy too.
So when we play it’s very much her way.

So she will constantly say “ no no not that way”
It’s almost impossible.

She’s amazing and cute and will and fun too but I’m really struggling at the moment.

We are putting our new baby in the car and we assume he put it on top of the car and we drove off.

We can’t find it around the street where we drove and it’s probably broken anyway but when I have a chance to find it is there anything we can do?

She’s actually a really bright little girl—she was an early talker with no delays at all and everyone always comments on how well she speaks. In many ways she seems very capable for her age, but emotionally she does feel a bit immature, which is where I’m starting to struggle.

I know 3 is supposed to be a challenging age, but lately I genuinely feel like something has changed.
It’s like she’s lost her ability to listen. I’m starting to wonder whether this is more than just typical toddler behaviour because it honestly feels like she can’t help herself. It’s almost like she has an itch to do the exact thing I’ve just asked her not to do.
I’ll tell her not to do something, she’ll stop for a second, then immediately do it again.

Some examples:
Being silly in bed instead of settling.
Climbing on the couch arms and jumping off.
Constantly turning around in her chair at the dinner table.
Running into rooms at other people’s houses after we’ve repeatedly told her not to.
Making every part of getting dressed, brushing teeth or eating into a game.
I honestly tell her the same things over and over. It feels like 100 times a day.

We’ve tried consequences, reward charts, praise for listening… nothing. I mean nothing seems to make a difference.

Lately I feel like the worst mum because I spend so much of the day correcting her. It’s getting to the point where I feel like we’re both starting to resent each other, and I hate feeling that way.
She wants to be silly with almost every single thing she does. When I’m brushing her teeth she’ll be giggling, waving her arms around to make it harder while I’m saying, “Please don’t do that, I’m just trying to get you ready.”

Sometimes if I tell her off or ask her to come back, she laughs. Not always in a naughty way, but almost like everything is a joke or a game.
She also cries several times a day, gets upset very easily, and can go from happy to distressed really quickly. She often struggles to stay focused on what she’s supposed to be doing, gets distracted by everything around her, and needs constant reminders for even simple tasks. Independent play is also a challenge, and I feel like she needs me involved in almost everything.

I hate admitting this, but I sometimes end up yelling in a tone I’m not proud of because after repeating myself all day I feel completely overwhelmed. I know that’s not the parent I want to be, but I’m honestly experiencing what feels like rage from the constant battle.
Has anyone else’s child been like this at 3? Did they grow out of it, or did it turn out there was something else going on like ADHD, autism, anxiety, sensory differences, or something similar?
I’m not looking to label her—I just genuinely don’t know what’s typical anymore and would love to hear other parents’ experiences.

She’s actually a really bright little girl—she was an early talker with no delays at all and everyone always comments on how well she speaks. In many ways she seems very capable for her age, but emotionally she does feel a bit immature, which is where I’m starting to struggle.

I know 3 is supposed to be a challenging age, but lately I genuinely feel like something has changed.
It’s like she’s lost her ability to listen. I’m starting to wonder whether this is more than just typical toddler behaviour because it honestly feels like she can’t help herself. It’s almost like she has an itch to do the exact thing I’ve just asked her not to do.
I’ll tell her not to do something, she’ll stop for a second, then immediately do it again.

Some examples:
Being silly in bed instead of settling.
Climbing on the couch arms and jumping off.
Constantly turning around in her chair at the dinner table.
Running into rooms at other people’s houses after we’ve repeatedly told her not to.
Making every part of getting dressed, brushing teeth or eating into a game.
I honestly tell her the same things over and over. It feels like 100 times a day.

We’ve tried consequences, reward charts, praise for listening… nothing. I mean nothing seems to make a difference.

Lately I feel like the worst mum because I spend so much of the day correcting her. It’s getting to the point where I feel like we’re both starting to resent each other, and I hate feeling that way.
She wants to be silly with almost every single thing she does. When I’m brushing her teeth she’ll be giggling, waving her arms around to make it harder while I’m saying, “Please don’t do that, I’m just trying to get you ready.”

Sometimes if I tell her off or ask her to come back, she laughs. Not always in a naughty way, but almost like everything is a joke or a game.
She also cries several times a day, gets upset very easily, and can go from happy to distressed really quickly. She often struggles to stay focused on what she’s supposed to be doing, gets distracted by everything around her, and needs constant reminders for even simple tasks. Independent play is also a challenge, and I feel like she needs me involved in almost everything.

I hate admitting this, but I sometimes end up yelling in a tone I’m not proud of because after repeating myself all day I feel completely overwhelmed. I know that’s not the parent I want to be, but I’m honestly experiencing what feels like rage from the constant battle.
Has anyone else’s child been like this at 3? Did they grow out of it, or did it turn out there was something else going on like ADHD, autism, anxiety, sensory differences, or something similar?
I’m not looking to label her—I just genuinely don’t know what’s typical anymore and would love to hear other parents’ experiences.

I have a newborn who is 10 weeks old and ever since I’ve brought him home I start to find things my daughter did annoying.

I feel terrible writing this.

I make time for her.
I let her make her breakfast with me in the morning.

I usually sit with her when she does a morning activity like magnets or blocks.

Then she does some stuff like Dre’s ups on her own ect
Then we draw and colour in and do craft together.

She helps with dinner and setting up.

She gets bluey and tv on and off though the day so I’m not , not doing anything with her.

I feel like she’s always seeking attention though.

She will do something she finds funny and repeats it 100 times (not really but does it constantly)
Like in the shower she will start spinning and get dizzy or collects water in her hands drops it and goes oooppp.

And laughs and does it over and over and over again.

She does the same thing with her toys.
She built a forky with eye like the one in Toy Story and in the car she pretended to walk him and went de de de ooop as he fell and laughed.
But honestly did this over and over again for like a 10 min car ride.

It drove me bonkers.

She will do the same with things like I talk to her seriously and she does a silly dance with her tongue out la la la la

Also when I’m on the phone or talking my to someone she can’t stand it she will do things like climb on a counter which she doesn’t do just to what feels lik spite me,

Or when she hears me full talking to baby she does the same thing.

She has to be star at all times

She’s a clever for talks full on, very understanding and isn’t delayed she has never had repetitive behaviours it’s like this is a attention thing,

I few cruel not finding it funny and I don’t like the idea of breaking her spirit but I find her annoying sometimes and I hate that.

Are other three year olds doing annoying things too

I have a newborn who is 10 weeks old and ever since I’ve brought him home I start to find things my daughter did annoying.

I feel terrible writing this.

I make time for her.
I let her make her breakfast with me in the morning.

I usually sit with her when she does a morning activity like magnets or blocks.

Then she does some stuff like Dre’s ups on her own ect
Then we draw and colour in and do craft together.

She helps with dinner and setting up.

She gets bluey and tv on and off though the day so I’m not , not doing anything with her.

I feel like she’s always seeking attention though.

She will do something she finds funny and repeats it 100 times (not really but does it constantly)
Like in the shower she will start spinning and get dizzy or collects water in her hands drops it and goes oooppp.

And laughs and does it over and over and over again.

She does the same thing with her toys.
She built a forky with eye like the one in Toy Story and in the car she pretended to walk him and went de de de ooop as he fell and laughed.
But honestly did this over and over again for like a 10 min car ride.

It drove me bonkers.

She will do the same with things like I talk to her seriously and she does a silly dance with her tongue out la la la la

Also when I’m on the phone or talking my to someone she can’t stand it she will do things like climb on a counter which she doesn’t do just to what feels lik spite me,

Or when she hears me full talking to baby she does the same thing.

She has to be star at all times

She’s a clever for talks full on, very understanding and isn’t delayed she has never had repetitive behaviours it’s like this is a attention thing,

I few cruel not finding it funny and I don’t like the idea of breaking her spirit but I find her annoying sometimes and I hate that.

Are other three year olds doing annoying things too

Help

My 3 and a half year olds sleep has regressed I the worst way possible.

Has anyone been through this?

She was previously going to bed and waking up maybe once through the night and even when she woke up she wasn’t distressed.

Her brother was born 10 weeks ago so it could be anxiety or behavioural, but I don’t think that’s why she’s waking up?
She goes to bed, honestly wakes up every 30 to 25 minutes crying.
To about three in the morning and then for the rest of the night, she’s usually sound asleep

She’s waking up in a state where she’s either not making sense but can answer questions so she’s doing a mixture of dream talk but if I sometimes ask her a question she’ll answer.

I can’t really put it down to night terr because it’s happening every 20 to 30 minutes night. Terror is usually happened once or twice.

I’ve been to the doctor ruled out ear infection UTI throat infection she’s done respiratory swabs and she’s rulled out viruses.

She also had a blood test because over the past month was complaining of fatigue and stuff a bit more and nothing really alarming.

It’s basically like she’s waking up at every sleep cycle for the first half of the night.

Name an underscored activity that keeps your toddler busy-

My toddler loves a spray bottle filled up and a cloth

She will spray and while my chairs walls windows

Obviously explain the things that could be dangerous

She could do this for 40 mins

Hi everyone, we’re facing a sudden sleep problem and it’s really confusing me!
It’s also making me worried if something else is going on.

My three year year-old the past three nights wakes up after 20 to 30 minutes of going to sleep really distressed crying unable to communicate for a few minutes
I would’ve put it down tonight, terrors but the thing is  it continuously happens for the first half of the night.

She wakes up every 30 minutes or so doing the same thing which she starts crying she’s not screaming. She’s just sobbing.
She woke up about 12 times last night.
It’s like every 25-32 minutes roughly till about 3am

In these moments, sometimes I can settle her by patting her and saying SHSH and your drift off to sleep and start snoring straight away other times she’s talking and not making sense so she’s definitely in a little bit of a sleep state.

But in this other times where she is responsive and if I say what’s wrong, she’ll say I don’t know.

I also find it strange that in these moments she forgets to communicate her basic needs. She’s fully toilet trained but she’ll be waking up and wiggling extreme wiggling and I was like what’s wrong and she goes. I need to wee.
But prior to this if she ever woke up in the night, she will just go toilet on her own

Does this sound like sleep apnoea? Or something else she became a big sister 10 weeks ago and it’s been a big hard transition for her. I feel like her behaviour has changed a lot.

Wanted to add her lips are dry and puffy in the morning her heads back and open mouth breathing.
So it makes me curious if she’s struggling to breath

Edit: wanted to mention it specific to the first half of the night so roughly when she goes to bed at around 738 to around two or three in the morning then the rest of the night she tends to sleep fine

- rulled bacterial infection, throat infection, viral swab, uti and ear infection