But whenever I eat dinner, I put on a video of food scenes from the Sopranos and I pretend that I'm eating the food from the show instead of the healthslop I'm eating.
its hard to be excited about anything anymore.
Basically I'm being socially isolated by someone at work who doesn't like me, but is also one of those people who'll pretend to be nice to you. She's more socially capable and connected than me, and has worked there longer than me. So she can basically get away with isolating me and making me feel like a third wheel when the interns are all hanging out.
I tried to be friend to some of the new interns, but I think she got to them first becuase they've been kinda icy-withholding to me. Idk it makes me feel like I'm not welcome and that I should just not interact with anyone and be quiet.
So basically I'm lonely and isolated at my job that I can't quit because I made a promise to myself to see it through till December, when my internship ends. But all of this is making my depression and mental health worse. I don't know why she has to be in the office every fucking day.
I love music. I love listening to it and making it. I've been playing guitar since I was 10 and have developed a music pallet unique to me. Since I was a kid I've wanted to be part of a band and just play the music I like.
But it's never happened. Not really. There were a few times where it almost happened, but something always ruined it. Not having the proper gear, not having enough people, or not agreeing on the music type. I tried a few times to make some stuff on my own. But all I have to show for it are a few demos with me playing some chords on my acoustic.
Now I live in a big city with a more prevalent indie scene.
I feel like I'm too old for being in my first band. Like, that should've been when I was 15 or something. When you're that young you get used to certain things like getting passed stage freight or playing in time.
I have this friend at work. A little white ago we had an argument over something which resulted in us not speaking for a bit. Even though I was in the right, I apologized just to keep the peace for our friendship and working relationship.
She said we were good and I thought that was that. Friends fight sometimes but they work out their differences right?
Now she treats me differently. Like, she treats me like she barely knows me despite her trauma dumping to me and venting to me up until 3 A.M about her shitty life choices and circumstances. She's isolating me at work socially, and is generally just making interacting with her extremely awkward for me. It's pretty clear that she's salty about me having a problem with her.
I fucking hate shit like that. Like, if you don't fw then make that clear. Don't pretend that things are good between us if you're going to end up being a fucking brick wall.
Like, she's buddy-buddy with everyone else in the office. And knowing how she talked to me when we were close, I know she's talking mad shit about me. It's eventually going to result in everyone else treating me differently.
I'm tired of the 2020s boss.
I'm someone who has what would be considered "attractive" qualities. I have thick dark wavy hair, hazel eyes, fair olive skin, and I'm pretty tall. I'm also at a healthy weight and take the time to groom and style myself.
What I'm saying is, on paper, I should be considered attractive because I possess qualities that most of society would consider attractive. However, if you were to look at me, you would not consider me attractive. It's like, even though I'm composed of attractive qualities, as a whole, I'm quite below average in terms of looks.
Is this a common thing? Can anyone relate?
It's happened to me a few times. I'll try to send stuff to my friends or talk to people and no one really reciprocates so I just end up thinking "I need to shut up and not say anything for a while." and then just isolate until they say something?
Like, everyone in my life. I feel like people are getting annoyed with my presence, and that when I leave the room, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of them.
It's happening everywhere too. My boss in the office rarely gives me any projects to work on, now I'm worried that I'm going to get fired. That feeling has only gotten stronger today since I decided to work from home for the first time since getting hired. A friend I'm supposed to hang out with today sent me a kinda curt-sounding message.
It feels like people don't want me around anymore. It makes me want to self isolate and not talk to anyone anymore. It reminds me of when my mom would be super passive aggressive towards me because she was mad over something I did. But would choose to not tell me and just make me feel shitty.
Like, everyone in my life. I feel like people are getting annoyed with my presence, and that when I leave the room, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of them.
It's happening everywhere too. My boss in the office rarely gives me any projects to work on, now I'm worried that I'm going to get fired. That feeling has only gotten stronger today since I decided to work from home for the first time since getting hired. A friend I'm supposed to hang out with today sent me a kinda curt-sounding message.
It feels like people don't want me around anymore. It makes me want to self isolate and not talk to anyone anymore.
For context: I met this girl at my work. We're coworkers and at first we got on well. She was very open from the beginning which, even though I'm more reserved, I was able to handle. The friendship that resulted however was one where I had to compromise a lot and put in a lot of emotional labor. She has this bf who doesn't let her have guy-friends so we weren't "allowed" to hang out outside of work. She'd also vent to me about shitty things in her life like her bf being a man-child, her issues with a colleague, or her friends/roommates ignoring her. Her rants would drag on for a long time and I made sure to listen because I'd want my friends to listen to me if I ever vented to them.
Flash forward to last month, we had a bit of a fight. I was upset at how she handled a situation and she escalated it by implying that I was being entitled and needy. So I just didn't talk to her because I was super mad at how she was acting towards me. But ofc since we work together, I ended up apologizing just to end any tension that might arise. She said it was cool and that we're friends again.
But that seems to be a lie because now she barely even acknowledges my existence at work. In fact, I'd honestly say that she's socially isolating me from my colleagues. Like, today it was just me, her, and another colleague of ours. Not once did she bother to include me into the conversation. In fact, every time she's in the office she makes it her mission to make me the third wheel. Mind you, anytime she's had a problem with me, I've listened to her, tried to understand her perspective, and either change the thing that's bothering her or explain my side and try to come to an agreement. However, when I have a problem with her, she decides to excommunicate me.
I don't really know how to handle this. We work together in the same office so I can't rip her a new asshole. But I also can't stand this high school bullshit. What should I do?
I'm saving up for an offset guitar that doesn't brake the bank. My dream guitar is a Fender Jaguar in a 3 color sunburst and dot inlays and I've been basically trying to get as close to that ideal as possible without having to sell my kidneys.
There are a few contenders I'm considering. Squier's CV and the Fender Player II models are up there, but they fall short for me. The Squier has block inlays which I'm not a big fan of. While the Fender Player II lacks a lot of the pick-up options that draw me to the Jag,
That brings me to the Foals FJG7. Needless to say, I'm interested in getting one. Of the models I'm looking at, it's the closest to what I want both in price point and aesthetics. So far, from what I've researched, it's all been positive. But this is one of those situations where you can't be 100% sure. It'd be nice if there was a model to try out in a local music store so I can make up my mind, but I haven't found a store near me that deals them.
Is it a decent model?
Like, it seems like people in relationships just end up treating their single friends like shit in some way shape or form. Like, they'll neglect their friendships, flake out on plans, or just straight up cut you off because their partner doesn't like you. It could be a multi-year long friendship and it'll evaporate because of their relationship with someone they've been dating for at least a few months.
For as much as these people like to say that being single is great and how they loved it, they seem to hate associating with anyone who isn't partnered.
I'm really wanting to incorporate blazers into my wardrobe so I can make, for lack of a better term, "frankensuits" which are suits that are made up of different pieces (idk if there's already a word for that).
For my budget, thrifting makes the most sense, and I did make sure to take my measurements (42R). However, I really don't know how to shop for blazers/jackets. Is there anything I need to be on the lookout for or any general rules of thumb?
I'm also Italian and think I know more about music than I actually do
There's a ton of shit I want to do. I want to date, I want to pursue my hobbies, I want to join a band and play music, I want to buy cool looking clothes, I want to buy my dream guitar and amp, I want to go on a random trip to someplace foreign and learn as much as I can.
There are all these things that I want to do. So why don't I do them? I'm 23 and graduated school. Outside of my job, it's not like I have anything else going on right?
Except I feel this barrier preventing me from living. Chalk it up to growing up in a financially unstable household where stress over money was extremely common. But every time I think about doing any of the things I listed above, I get this thought that the minute I spend that money, some bullshit is going to happen and I have to go bankrupt because I spent my money on personal enjoyment rather than saving. I blame my parents, who were extremely shitty with money when I was growing up.
I'm currently losing my mind due to loneliness consuming every part of my life to the point where nothing is enjoyable. All I want to do is walk around, listen to music, and fantasize about making a woman I'm in love with happy.
Last date I went on, things got hot and heavy fast. It was our first (and only) date and by the end of the night we were all over each other. She ended up dumping me two days after and since then I've been feeling awful due to us getting too close too fast.
As a general rule, how many dates should you go on before taking things to the next level?