u/RogueLeader27

Salut !

Ma femme et moi (27 ans tout les deux) envisageons d'acheter notre premier bien d'ici la fin de l'année. Je gagne 2300 net + 13ème mois et elle gagne 2800 net, tous les deux en CDI

On a récemment fait un premier rdv avec un promoteur qui nous a montré quelques offres en VEFA dont une qui nous a pas mal plu.

Localisation : A 5 min à pied du centre-ville et du métro (qui va aussi accueillir la future ligne 15), dans une rue assez calme (on vit actuellement dans la même rue, on peux voir le chantier de notre fenêtre).

Surface : 4 pièces pour 80m² + 14m² de terrasse et 4m² de balcon + 1 place de parking (qu'on va louer)

Prix : 345 000 euros

Apport : 10 000 euros

Montant emprunté 335 000 euros sur 25 ans

Mensualités : 1 500 euros / mois

Total remboursé : 450 000 euros soit 115 000 euros d'intérêts

Cela prend en compte le prêt à taux zéro, TVA 5.5%, prêt action logement à 1% et frais de notaire offerts.

L'idée serait d'y habituer au moins 10 ans surement et ensuite à voir si on fais un prêt relai (en espérant que ça ai pris un peu de valeur entre temps) vers autre chose ou juste on y reste si on s'y plait vraiment beaucoup.

Honnêtement on s'y connais pas beaucoup en immobilier et finance, sur le papier ça nous semble pas mal (surtout quand on compare le prix des loyers pour un T4 équivalent aux alentours, c'est tout aussi cher voir même plus cher). Mais j'aimerais bien avoir quelques avis supplémentaires quand même pour être sur de ne pas se faire avoir.

Vous en pensez quoi du coup ? C'est une offre qui semble valoir le coup ?

My little brother is 5'6 and is the most sucessfull person I know in term of dating : this little guy is 25 and already had more than a dozen partners since high school (from simple hookups to a year long relationship). He is ultra social, make a shit ton of friends everywhere he go. It seriously impress me.

On the other hand I (28M) am 6'0 but still a kissless virgin.

I know being short is hard, but I want to show you this :

Being short is absolutely not a fatality, and on the orher hand being "tall" absolutely not certificy you will be sucessfull at all.

I am a very very shy person who try my best to not be a problem for others.

Because of that I never initiate any social interactions, my way of thinking is simple :

If a person want to talk to me it will come talk, if he dont that mean he probably have better to do or dont want to, so I will not risk bother him.

So, as you can imagine, most of my interactions with people dont last long because when they said the first message Im happy and will carry the conversation all day long. But there is always one day when they just stop initiation, one day they got bored of you and dont want to talk anymore.

I can remember this girl I was in love with, one day she just didnt messaged, I thinked of it daily for a while year, hoping it was her everytime my phone received a notification. But no, she never messaged me so I guess she just decided to end things.

As I felt on this sub and read a lot of post, I was questionning myself : Am I a ghoster without realising it ? If somone never initiated conversations but would totally answer and carry them as long as you initiate them, would you consider him a ghoster if he dont send you a message the moment you stop initiating, and so the relationship dissipear ?

Hey there,

I'm a 27M living in Paris, kinda socially akward in real life I will admit, that why I prefer to talk online in a first time.

What to said about me... I'm the classic nerd stereotype (I love video games, anime, biology, astronomy, informatic), people around me use to said I'm kind, funny and a good ear, so take it as you want ahah.

Physically I'm 182cm for 95kg (a little chubby so), white skin with long dark hair (a little above my shoulders) and I wear glasses.

About my preference : I want someole fun with good vibes, if we have good conversations and laugh together, for me its already a lot in my heart. Someone who also like video games and anime is a +

Salut, je suis un mec de 27 ans vivant sur Paris, en isolement social depuis l'enfance j'ai donc énormément d'anxiété sociale accumulé au fil du temps, malgré ca j'aimerai quand meme m'en sortir et rencontrer des gens pour vivre une vie qui en vale la peine.

Je suis bègue.

J'ai les hobbies classique du geek on va dire : jeux vidéos, anime, tech, science (biologie et astronomie principalement).

Voilà, je sais pas trop quoi dire de plus mais mes mp sont ouverts alors hesitez pas si vous avez d'autres questions, à toute !

Honnêtement, avez-vous déjà vu un débat politique dans lequel l'une des personnes impliquées à fini par dire "en effet, j'ai tord et tu as raison" ? Peux être que ca arrive une fois sur un million ok, mais la très très grande majorité du temps, les gens se contentent de camper sur leurs positions.

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Débattre de politique ca ne sert a rien, tu ne convaincra pas la personne en face 99.9% du temps, tout ce que ça apporte c'est de l'énervement, des disputes, des amitiés/relations brisées, voir pire (j'ai encore le souvenir de devoir séparer mon père et mon oncle en train de se battre jusqu'au sang à cause d'un débat sur les gilets jaunes, ça m'a bien vacciné).

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Le seul cas où le débat est "utile" c'est dans le cas d'un débat télévisé, car le but du débat ici n'est pas de convaincre son adversaire, ca n'arrivera jamais, le but c'est juste de convaincre les spectateurs encore indécis.

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Mais dans le cadre privé, où il n'y a donc techniquement pas de spectateurs indécis, le débat ne sert a rien, il n'apportera rien, rien d'autre que le risque de briser ta relation avec la personne en face.

Okay from the title the question seem kinda stupid, but let me explain in details what I mean :

All of that reflexion starded from me falling on this french YouTube serie "Fleur Bleue" (its the story of a woman "Fleur" that get home with men and everytime the man end up being not the good one for her, its a kinda funny serie).

One of the episode of this serie is about a "deconstructed" man : They end up in bed and he start to ask consent for every action at a point that Fleur just get angry and ask him to leave.

The twist is that the men was in fact a misogynist playing the "deconstructed" card to get laid.

But outside of that twist, I just ended up feeling myself to be very very similar to that man about always assuring that my partner is fully consentual.

To give you two example in the episode :

- The man ask if he can place a hand between her legs, she said yes, a few seconds after he ask her if he can kiss her in the neck and she get kinda angry "if Im okay with a hand between my legs that mean Im okay with a kiss in the neck". But I dont see it this way, for me having consent for a action A dont mean you also have consent for a action B, no matter if B is "less intimate" or no.

- At a moment he ask if he can take off her bra, she said "hmm hmm" so he stop himself and answer "hmm hmm yes ? Or hmm hmm no ? Be clear please" and she get angry for that too. For me again there is nothing wrong in wanting to assure that you understanded correctly your partner consent and not just assume it from a possible missunderstanded "hmm hmm".

So, I just end up really questionning myself, it is bad to be sure about your partner consent regulary and to ask for clear and non missunderstandable answers ?

A lot of people talk about "non verbal language" but again, its not something you can rely on without any risk of missunderstanding, especially when like me you are on the spetrum and have 0 experience romantically or sexually.

So, for you, is there a "limit" where assuring your partner consent become "too much" ?

Married since 3 years, together since 13 years, we are both 30 right now.

All thoses years we where childfree, but since a year my wife just started to change her mind... First it was just some guess about "yeah it wouldn't be so bad to have one" and now she its to the point where she clearly want one in the next years...

My view on the subject never changed : I am not "against" childrens, I love them, but I dont want to be a father, I am aware its would be far too much stressfull for me and far too much responsabilities that I can handle.

I try to explain her that she want a kid for the wrong reasons, that she is not aware of how much devastating a kid is in a relationship, how much it can be devastating for the freetime, the finances, how much devastating it can be to the world if you fail to educate him propely. But she hear nothing of it, she just want a kid because she want one the same way she would want a pet...

Sometime Im seriously wondering if the relation is already over ? If I just wasted my whole younth for NOTHING, being betrayed by someone who sweared me to be childree for 10 years...

Sorry english is not my first language, in the title I mean my type of women.

28M here,

Yesteday I was with some friends, both men and women, and at a moment the conversation switched to dating, and I got asked this question : "And you, what your type ?"

So I just made the joke "Oh you know... Alive and consenting would already be a good start"

The men laughed but the women just gave me a bad look

They started to accuse me of joking about consent and that it was bordeline rapist way of thinking, and that "no wonder you never had a gf at your age" (they know im still a kissless virgin).

I tried to explain that it have nothing to do with joking about consent, in fact it was clearly the opposite, that as I have no type at all, my only "type" are the one that are mandatory = consenting. Saying that by having 0 standard I already have no opportunity, so there is no point having a type (that would mean being restrictive about something I already have almost no chance to find, that not logical).

Its like a job offer that have no advantages to offer so it just write the legal requirements as "advantages" like paid leave etc...

The women gave me a very bad look for the rest of the evening and now I'm just feeling like, did my joke was that much offensive ? I trully did not mean it, for me of course that consenting is mandatory, that why I said it, that was the point.

AITAH here ?