u/Sillygoosecollege

If a guy says “can’t believe I matched with you” or something to that effect is it a red flag or do you take it as a compliment? Sometimes I’m worried that him saying that means he doesn’t have confidence in himself and is secretly insecure and I’ll have to pay for it later

If a guy says “can’t believe I matched with you” or something to that effect is it a red flag or do you take it as a compliment? Sometimes I’m worried that him saying that means he doesn’t have confidence in himself and is secretly insecure and I’ll have to pay for it later

How do you identify the feeling? I 100% believe it’s possible to feel them due to experiences I’ve witnessed where a friend saw a ghost in our shared house once. But she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to scare us. However in the moment my other friend who was next to me said she could feel a presence. I know it’s possible but can you explain the feeling? I used to see ghosts as a child and don’t see them anymore. I get moments of paranoia at home and am trying to determine if I could be feeling them or sensing them in other ways

I’m looking for an autism therapist that specialises in autism and CBT it will need to be affordable however. Some of the quotes I’ve received so far are £90 per hour which I just can’t afford at the moment. I’d really like a long term psychiatrist and therapist as I am really overwhelmed with work, dealing with burnout and recently diagnosed and feel as though I an grieving my past self.

Over the course of years I’ve been on and off the app. Some faces I’ve seen over and over again. Sometimes we match and the conversation goes nowhere. Sometimes I ignore because I’ve seen them before. Is there any leverage in rematching if it says they’ve “superliked” or given a rose?

Is it a red flag if the person hasn’t updated their profile as well

I’m very curious about men who have been in/are in long term successful relationships with autistic women.

What things make the relationship different in positive and/or challenging ways?

What made you stay and build long term?

How does it affect your day-to-day and if at all

What made you commit to the relationship, what keeps you invested?

How does your neurotypicality/neurodivergence impact the relationship?

Men who have dated/are with women with other support needs I.e. women with depression, burnout, anxiety, bipolar etc. are also welcome to chime in

Thanks in advance for keeping it wholesome, respectful and positive.

As a late diagnosed autistic woman reading these comments was like looking in a mirror 😂 in a good way and scary way. Thanks for sharing!

I’m sure we can all agree on what the “bad kind” of crazy is. For example no-nos like violence or destructive behaviour. But I’ve heard there are some men who love women who are “crazy in a good way” what is a good kind of crazy?

Also is there really an interest in women who are “Neurospicy” or is that just a covert way of saying they like vulnerable women? Is that what is also meant by crazy? As in quirky? Or what? I’m quite confused by the whole concept.

For example there’s “crazy” toxic and then “crazy” as in neurodivergent, I.e. the manic pixie dream girl archetype.

Im curious what is meant by this. I’ve always felt like crazy was unattractive/undesirable

Respectful dignified answers/explanations welcome

Thanks,
girl who has suppressed her crazy, unconventional and quirky for her whole life and is now finding the suppression exhausting

We just matched and this persons
responses seemed dry. Is this just a guy not making effort or am I not being conversational enough?

The convo.

Me: niceto e meet you :)
Him: very nice to meet you
Me: what brings you to [city we’re both in, as he’s from another country]
Him: mainly for my job
Me: oh, exciting :).

That’s that…

Please any and all advice will help. Also anecdotes!

I want to date more. I am conventionally attractive and get initial attention but I’m not always able to tell when a guy is interested, nor am I able to come across as warm or inviting which my parents lovingly told me lol. I would have ignored them if I hadn’t heart similar feedback from the guys themselves.

My special interest is psychology, seduction theory and stuff of that nature so I have some understanding there but in practice I think I get clumsy and nervous. I’m not the best with telling a guy that I even like him. I don’t think I’ve ever done that in the dating space.

I am a musician and quite talented also so I look very magnificent/magnetic on stage and I think people expect me to be that way in person but I’m not really. Especially when I like someone. I’m a lot more shy than I seem.

It’s to the point that guys are shocked as in to the point of thinking I’m lying when I tell them I’ve never had a boyfriend before. So now I don’t tell them lol.

I do feel vulnerable in the dating space. When I try to be confident I end up coming across more guarded and hard to read if that makes sense.

I don’t know how to explain this but when I look at how relationships work and how people relate to each other I’m always so amazed by it. I relate to people in an almost mechanical way, like people have to have a purpose. And there has to be an equal exchange. Which I get sounds bad but I wouldn’t know how to relate otherwise. For example this specific person let’s call her Maria is a friend of mine has a specific purpose in my life. She is a successful business owner so I learn a lot from her and ask questions and seek advice re work and business. She’s also neurodivergent so I enjoy being with her To get steak sometimes, go out occasionally and talk on the phone because there’s less pressure to mask or perform. We’re both also a bit socially awkward so in public spaces I don’t feel pressured to rise to the occasion of being around a social butterfly. I am very engaging in social spaces but it’s incredibly strenuous. She is a bit more stunted than me socially. We don’t talk every day. We go weeks without talking actually but I’d say she’s one of my closest friends. I also see my purpose in her life as encouraging her to be more social. Providing compassion and care and understanding where and when she needs it. I’ve evaluated her life’s relationships and tried to by process of elimination determine what would be the most efficient and valuable role for me to play in her life. A lot of her friends are toxic or in toxic relationships so I try to be a more refreshing perspective for her to engage with. I guess I feel psychopath if because I think this is supposed to be more organic and natural and across many more relationships because this is what I see among others. But this feels very overwhelming to me.

When it comes to romantic relationships this is where I think I start to feel more psychopathic. Because I don’t understand how or why people get together or why I’m supposed to want to be with someone. I like the idea of it but in my mind a boyfriend or husband is supposed to take care of me. That’s their purpose. I can’t fathom just ending up in a relationship either. I’ve also never been in one. I just find the whole organic relationships thing really confusing. But when I explain my expectations to parents they say I sound materialistic or self centred but I can’t understand a relationship otherwise.

Can someone share their perspective? Even if it’s a different one. Any thoughts are welcome.

What is a boyfriend for? What can I expect and what is expected of me?