u/TheSmartToasterUnion

“Listen, you’ve got to get me out of here. Code red. Call the mothership. Help. These people are fucking insane.” Glimax screamed into the payphone, trying to convince the intergalactic helpline to arrange a pickup. The sweltering Florida heat had peeled away the pale paint he had covered himself with, revealing glimpses of his true grey skin underneath.

“Glimax. You’re the one who agreed to this mission. You said you could handle any place on Earth. This is a place on Earth, so why aren’t you handling it?” The formal voice on the other end of the line said, dismissing his frantic tone.

“This place isn’t anything like the other Earth areas. It’s some sort of prison for the elderly. They put all their old people here and leave them to get killed by alligators and the heat. It’s barbaric. Could you imagine doing something as cruel as sending your family elders to a place like Florida?”

The cold intergalactic operator shivered. That thought unsettled her enough that she started considering helping the poor alien. Roshow tapped her two fingers against her desk before exhaling. “Even if I wanted to send a rescue team, Florida is outside of our jurisdiction. You know how the lizard people are about us encroaching on their homeland. If we were to send a ship, it would be a diplomatic issue. If you can get yourself across the border, we can meet you there.”

“Across the border? That’s at least a hundred miles away. I’m not going to survive that long. I’ve already been harassed by three cougars today.” Glimax whimpered.

“Three cougars? They have those animals in Florida.”

“I’m not talking about the animals.”

“I didn’t realize there was an alternative to the animal. Interesting. I can’t wait to add that term to our list of phrases if you return alive.”

“HEY JACKASS. My ice cream’s melting. Get off the phone, I have to give this to my granddaughter.” A man shouted behind Glimax. His ice-cream already melting, with the strawberry dripping down his hairy gut, landing in his belly button like a weird dairy version of a hole in one.

“What?”

“Sounds like you're busy. Hanging up now. Good luck, Glimax.”

“WAIT.” But she had already hung up on him, leaving him all alone. Glimax sighed, setting the phone back down, passing the elderly man. The man gave him a shove with his shoulder before dialing a number into the phone booth.

“Hey, sweetie. Grandpa got you an ice-cream, but some jackass was on the phone for too long and it melted. Huh?” he pressed his face closer to the phone booth, glaring at the numbers. “What do you mean you can’t taste it through the phone? Ain’t you got FaceTime? Back in my day, my grandpa would give me a stick with half-chewed gum on it, and I would be over the moon. Which is funny because at that time Russia was planning its space trip—”

Glimax stared at the man, bewildered by his crazed ranting. It was as if everyone was playing some weird practical joke on him. He wondered if this was a simulation, or a test by his colleagues, but none of them were intelligent enough to create a joke so elaborate. He backed away from the booth before breaking into a terrified sprint.

He didn’t know where the borders were, so he madly dashed north, assuming he would eventually reach something. He swerved through crowds of Hawaiian-shirt wearing locals, who greeted him with relaxed stares and the occasional polite greeting. None of them appeared to have a care in the world, which made the alien stand out like a sore thumb.

When his three lungs were out of air, he stopped, catching his breath, only to get swarmed by an elderly couple.

“He looks like he knows how to handle some balls.” Old Mrs. Gracy said, grinning. Wearing some dazzling heart sunglasses and a pink top.

“That makes two of us. Tell me, have you got a good voice too? See, we were hoping—“ Mr. Gracy started, only for the alien to glance up at them with terrified eyes.

“SHREE!” he screamed, glitching the screens of nearby phones with his voice, as he broke into another sprint, leaving the old couple behind.

“Guess he doesn’t want to host our bingo night.” Mrs. Gracy sighed. “He seemed like a lovely young man.”

“Yeah. Wonder where he’s running to?”

Glimax continued his frightened running, finding himself cutting through a golf course. Under the cool shade of the towering trees on the course, he took another break. The alien dropped onto its rear, gasping for air. “Terrifying. I want to go home. I’m not ready for this. I’m only fifty years old.” He sniffed, covering his face as he started sobbing.

Life always seems to have a way of making a bad day worse. While the alien sobbed, a chubby creature snuck up behind him. The powerful alligator lurked behind the alien, who was too absorbed in his self-pity to notice the threat.

“I wouldn’t even care if one of those beasts ate me.” The alien shouted, only to feel a snout poke against his back.

“SHREEEE.” The scream was louder this time, sending birds flying out of their nests in a frenzy. The alien turned, seeing the creature staring at him with those large, emotionless eyes. It too had a Hawaiian shirt on and a pair of sunglasses, which Glimax didn’t even question at this point. “Please…” Glimax scooted away, begging the creature not to kill him.

“Easy there, alien. She’s a lover, not a fighter.” A man wearing a Salty Tree’s beer case as a chest-plate and a pair of Florida Panthers shorts jumped down from a nearby tree, landing with a horrifying thud. The man’s knees crackled, and Glimax assumed he had shattered his bones. Only for the man to pop up like a superhero or immortal beast.

“Who… who are you?”

“I go by many names. Chuck. Hey, you’re not allowed to do that here, and Florida man. My friends call me Bill,” he said, offering his hand to the alien, who accepted it. He pulled Glimax to his feet before patting the alligator. “She’s Sandy. She’s a good girl who’s only ever eaten one person before.”

“One person?” Glimax backed away.

“He was kind of asking for it, though.” Florida man clarified. “So, what brings you down here, space alien?”

“You can tell I’m an alien?” Glimax was shocked. Even if his disguise had been fading because of the heat, he never expected someone to see through it so easily.

“You spend enough nights blackout drunk on the beach, and you gain a third eye. I can see through disguises, feel the tide moving through my body, and detect a rival sports fan from a mile away. That’s the most useful of my powers.”

“Right. Well… it was nice meeting you two. I should be going.” When he stepped back, Sandy stepped forward, keeping him within biting distance. Glimax tensed, looking to Florida Man for help.

“Oh, she likes you. The old girl must feel sorry for you. Tell you what, little alien. How about I help you out? What do you need?”

“I need to get back to my home planet. They won’t pick me up from here. I need to get to another state.”

“Another state?” Florida Man spat on the ground. “No other states exist. It’s just Florida, and the rest. I wouldn’t call em states.”

“Even so… I need to get home.”

Florida Man rested a hand on his hip, looking at the alligator who was now drooling onto the grass. “Oh, don’t give me that look, Sandy. I know he’s a good guy, but I have standards. I don’t like going near those other areas.” Sandy continued to drool, and Florida Man kicked the dirt. “Fine, you twisted my arm. Hop on Sandy.”

“Pardon?”

The three were soon running down the highway, with helicopters flying overhead recording the strange occurrence. The headline for tomorrow’s paper had already been decided. “Florida man and his strange gray friend ride an alligator down the highway.” It wasn’t a creative headline, but it didn’t need to be when the subject matter was so bizarre.

For an alligator, Sandy had an astonishing amount of speed, at least thirty alligator-power by Glimax’s estimate. When they got near the border, Florida Man told Sandy to slow down. “This is where we part ways, friend.”

“Right.” Glimax carefully got off Sandy, giving the creature an anxious pat. When its snout twitched, he resisted the urge to pull his hand back, wanting to thank them both equally. “Thank you. I don’t think I can ever repay you.”

“And you’ll never need to. Safe travels, space dude.” Then he was off. Like an intoxicated legendary hero riding into the sunset. Thankfully, with Florida Man distracting everyone, Glimax could easily sneak through the border, finding a safe spot in the next state to get picked up from. He didn’t know if anyone would believe his stories, but he would still tell them to anyone who listened. Wanting to tell them about the legendary hero Florida Man and his friendly alligator.

Because the bill would be astronomical.

Hey fellow writers,

I noticed a severe lack of spaces dedicated entirely to sci-fi humor, so I’ve been building r/scificomedy. We just hit a massive spike of 1.1k unique visits this week! If you write absurdism, space satire, or comedic flash fiction, come over and share your work!

Attention Citizens, Crew Members, and humour-compatible chat bots,

We just looked at the sub’s dashboard, and the numbers are climbing faster than a malfunctioning hyperdrive. We’ve pulled in over 1,100 visits recently, and our member count has jumped to 143 creative minds!

Whether you’re here to share your own writing, find your next favorite satirical book, or just laugh at the absurdity of a smart toaster going on strike—thank you for being here. You are making this corner of Reddit wonderfully weird.

As we clear orbit, we need your help to keep this momentum going and feed the almighty Reddit algorithm:

🛸 How to Help r/scificomedy Grow:

• Smash that Upvote & Comment: If a post makes you chuckle or look up over your shoulder in existential dread, upvote it and drop a comment! Reddit rewards activity, so even a simple "LOL" or "This is brilliant" helps push our posts onto more users' home feeds.

• Share the Wealth: Don’t be a silent reader. Got a funny sci-fi meme? A quote from a book that lives rent-free in your brain? A 500-word flash fiction piece about corporate bureaucracy in a parallel universe? Post it! This is a safe space for high-concept silliness.

• Spread the Subreddit Link: When you see people discussing funny sci-fi, Hitchhiker’s Guide, or bureaucratic satire in other subreddits (like r/printSF, r/sci-fi, or r/writing), gently drop a link to r/scificomedy to invite them over.

Let's build the best hub for sci-fi humor on the internet. What kind of content would you love to see more of here? Memes, writing prompts, or book recommendations? Drop a comment below!

Over and out,

Lieutenant J. Broody, Captain of the ISS Minimal Effort

(Your Friendly Neighborhood Mod)

Kid: “Is it good?”
Dad: “I can’t put it down.”

We all want to be the mega smart starship captain or the cool smuggler, but who is keeping the galaxy running?

My vote goes to the Death Star trash compactor maintenance engineer. You have to fix a giant crusher in a room filled with space-garbage, and there is a 100% chance a Dianoga (trash monster) is going to try to drag you under. Plus, the pension plan is probably terrible because it’s the Empire.

What’s your pick? The guy who has to clean the Holodeck filters? The redshirt laundry coordinator? Let's hear them!

Note: r/scificomedy is now active again and is public! For similar funny discussions, funny short sci fi stories and memes head over there!

We all want to be the mega smart starship captain or the cool smuggler, but who is keeping the galaxy running?

My vote goes to the Death Star trash compactor maintenance engineer. You have to fix a giant crusher in a room filled with space-garbage, and there is a 100% chance a Dianoga (trash monster) is going to try to drag you under. Plus, the pension plan is probably terrible because it’s the Empire.

What’s your pick? The guy who has to clean the Holodeck filters? The redshirt laundry coordinator? Let's hear them!

WEBSTER LABS — EXPERIMENT LOG #402

Project: IQ Booster Ray (Trial Sequence 127)

Status: Failure.

Results: Subject Rat A deceased. Subject Rat B lost in maze.

Conclusion: Project to be suspended until technological advance in high frequency electronic waves makes further experimentation indicated.

Will dismantle the equipment tomorrow. — Prof. A. Webster

[ADDITIONAL NOTE TYPED ON THE LAB TABLET AT 11:45 PM]

With all due respect, the above statement is not entirely accurate. Let me add my input to this experiment as a contribution to modern science.

This place is where I lived all my life. I heard people calling it a laboratory, or a "lab" for short. Until yesterday, I didn’t even know the meaning of these words. In fact, I wasn’t even aware that words existed.

I was hanging down from the ceiling as usual, minding my own business, trying to figure out the best way to construct a giant web to catch the mainstream fly traffic in the room’s airspace. Suddenly, I felt some tingling. It was quite pleasant, to tell the truth. It felt like a ray of bright sunlight had scanned the room—a room which I happened to be part of.

A few seconds later, as I hung eight feet high in the air, I gained a sudden, new understanding of life.

I noticed a human underneath me in a white lab coat wearing a name tag that said Prof. A. Webster.

“Tommy, give me a hand for a second, will you?” said the professor to a teenager who was sitting by the desk in the corner, reading a car tuning magazine.

“Sure, dad, what do you want me to do?” asked Tommy, keeping his finger on an article about how to make the exhaust as loud as possible on a 1996 Honda Civic.

“Just go and grab a couple of those lab rats from that box over there and put them in the maze. I’ll set the timer.”

Tommy left the magazine on the desk and started walking towards the transparent plastic box housing four confused-looking lab rats. He grabbed two of them and placed them at the entrance point of a maze specifically designed for them.

“Okay, I’m ready,” said Tommy. “Tell me when to let go of them.”

“3, 2, 1, go!” said the professor.

Tommy let go of the rats, and they both watched as the rodents started moving through the maze.

I found the show fascinating, especially because, for the first time in my life, I understood every word they had said and was able to follow what was going on. I had a sudden urge to share that revelation with someone, and I chose Tommy. I dangled down from the ceiling, stopping just two inches away from his nose to say hello. The only problem was that spiders don’t have vocal cords, and my intellect, although vastly improved, was still not at the level of telepathy.

Tommy moved his head, and I landed on his neck. He felt a sudden itch and moved his hand to scratch it. Feeling trapped, my first reaction was to bite. Somehow I broke free and ran down Tommy’s back over his T-shirt.

Tommy didn’t feel much pain and kept scratching his neck as he watched the rats' performance in the maze.

I, however, had another sudden moment of revelation. All of a sudden, I knew the names of pretty much every car brand available for sale in America! And not only that—I also knew the name of every single NASCAR champion from the last ten years. I had a sudden, desperate desire to check out that car magazine Tommy had left on the desk.

I scampered off Tommy’s shirt, jumped onto the desk, ran all the way to the magazine, and started reading.

“Tommy, the IQ booster ray is still not working,” said the professor, shaking his head. “One of the rats died, and the other one got lost in the maze.”

“No problem, dad,” replied Tommy. “You will fix it later. Now let’s go and watch the race.” He picked up the car magazine and slapped it shut with a thud.

A few hours later I managed to crawl out of the magazine and straightened out my bent legs. It took me forty-five minutes to set the tablet’s touch screen sensitivity to maximum and minimise the keyboard to one inch wide so I can type up my report but for the sake of science it was worth it.

Hey everyone! I'm u/TheSmartToasterUnion, a founding moderator of r/scificomedy.

This is our new home for all things related to Sci Fi Comedy and Humorous Science Fiction. We're excited to have you join us!

What to Post

Post anything that you think the community would find interesting, helpful, or inspiring. Feel free to share your thoughts, photos, or questions about Sci Fi comedy books or movies. You can post your Sci Fi comedy flash fictions here. Sci Fi comedy writing prompts are also welcome.

Community Vibe

We all love great Sci Fi concepts with a sense of humour.

How to Get Started

1. Introduce yourself in the comments below.

2. Post something today! Even a simple question can spark a great conversation.

3. If you know someone who would love this community, invite them to join.

4. Interested in helping out? We're always looking for new moderators, so feel free to reach out to me to apply.

Thanks for being part of the very first wave. Together, let's make r/scificomedy amazing.

Your Duplicate –
Frequently Asked Questions About Phone Calls During Sleep

Thank you for using Your Duplicate.

We have received reports from users of the wrist device that, while they were asleep, their duplicate answered incoming phone calls and, in some cases, canceled purchases on online shopping sites.
If you do not wish your duplicate to answer calls while you are asleep, you can disable this feature in Settings.

Even if your duplicate’s decisions appear to differ from your own, your duplicate is regarded as you in accordance with the Terms of Service.

*This investigation report was compiled in Japanese and translated into English with AI assistance.
*And this is a fictional story, of course.

This place is where I lived all my life. I heard people calling it a laboratory, or a "lab" for short. Until yesterday, I didn’t even know the meaning of these words. In fact, I wasn’t even aware that words existed.

I was hanging down from the ceiling as usual, minding my own business, trying to figure out the best way to construct a giant web to catch the mainstream fly traffic in the room’s airspace. Suddenly, I felt some tingling. It was quite pleasant, to tell the truth. It felt like a ray of bright sunlight had scanned the room—a room which I happened to be part of.

A few seconds later, as I hung eight feet high in the air, I gained a sudden, new understanding of life.

I noticed a human underneath me in a white lab coat wearing a name tag that said Prof. A. Webster.

“Tommy, give me a hand for a second, will you?” said the professor to a teenager who was sitting by the desk in the corner, reading a car tuning magazine.

“Sure, dad, what do you want me to do?” asked Tommy, keeping his finger on an article about how to make the exhaust as loud as possible on a 1996 Honda Civic.

“Just go and grab a couple of those lab rats from that box over there and put them in the maze. I’ll set the timer.”

Tommy left the magazine on the desk and started walking towards the transparent plastic box housing four confused-looking lab rats. He grabbed two of them and placed them at the entrance point of a maze specifically designed for them.

“Okay, I’m ready,” said Tommy. “Tell me when to let go of them.”

“3, 2, 1, go!” said the professor.

Tommy let go of the rats, and they both watched as the rodents started moving through the maze.

I found the show fascinating, especially because, for the first time in my life, I understood every word they had said and was able to follow what was going on. I had a sudden urge to share that revelation with someone, and I chose Tommy. I dangled down from the ceiling, stopping just two inches away from his nose to say hello. The only problem was that spiders don’t have vocal cords, and my intellect, although vastly improved, was still not at the level of telepathy.

Tommy moved his head, and I landed on his neck. He felt a sudden itch and moved his hand to scratch it. Feeling trapped, my first reaction was to bite. Somehow I broke free and ran down Tommy’s back over his T-shirt.

Tommy didn’t feel much pain and kept scratching his neck as he watched the rats' performance in the maze.

I, however, had another sudden moment of revelation. All of a sudden, I knew the names of pretty much every car brand available for sale in America! And not only that—I also knew the name of every single NASCAR champion from the last ten years. I had a sudden, desperate desire to check out that car magazine Tommy had left on the desk.

I scampered off Tommy’s shirt, jumped onto the desk, ran all the way to the magazine, and started reading.

“Tommy, the IQ booster ray is still not working,” said the professor, sighing. “One of the rats died, and the other one got lost in the maze.”

“No problem, dad,” replied Tommy. “You will fix it later. Now let’s go and watch the race.” He picked up the car magazine and slapped it shut with a thud.

The End

Hello Reddit Admins,

I am applying to take over r/scificomedy as it is currently completely abandoned/unmoderated, and posting is restricted.

As a massive fan and creator within the sci-fi comedy genre, it breaks my heart to see a dedicated niche space sit empty. My goal is to completely revitalize this community and turn it into a thriving hub for fans of hitchhiker-style humor, space satires, and comedic sci-fi media.

Here is my immediate plan for the subreddit:

1. \\\*\\\*Open the Gates:\\\*\\\* Change the subreddit settings from "Restricted" back to "Public" so users can freely share memes, book recommendations, and show discussions again.

2. \\\*\\\*Establish Clear Rules:\\\*\\\* Implement basic moderation rules to prevent spam, self-promotion dumping (keeping it limited to specific weekly threads), and ensure a welcoming environment.

3. \\\*\\\*Weekly Engagement:\\\*\\\* Set up AutoModerator to host weekly discussion threads (e.g., "What are you laughing at this week?") to spark organic community growth.

4. \\\*\\\*Visual Refresh:\\\*\\\* Clean up the sidebar, add relevant flairs, and give the sub a proper visual identity.

Thank you for your time and consideration!