What deep healing work has taught me, TW: Abuse
TW: Abuse
Hello fellow survivors.
I come from a narcissistic family system and I am creating this post in hopes of helping some of us who are trying to heal.
I have been on a very intense healing and trauma integration journey for the past 11 years, and there were some wounds and traumas within me that just seemed like they wouldn't budge. They would create a wall inside me that I had incredibly difficult time integrating.
For context, my father is a malignant narcissist, and so is my brother (I suppose he as a baby concluded 'can't beat them, join them'), while my mother is the codependent.
I have found, that at the root of much of my PTSD and trauma from the relationship with my father, is the following perception, emotional reality and belief.
'My father is trying to kill me.'
When you're in any relationship with a narcissist, their primary demand for you in that relationship is simple - don't be, don't exist.
Validating this belief has brought so much relief into my life. At first it was terrifying and shocking, of course, but overtime accepting this reality has made such a difference in my healing.
I hope this can bring you relief as well.
Best of luck, what you have survived makes you strong, not weak.