u/ThrowRACCX

Before i met my narc, i was happy, had hobbies, out with my friends, hitting the gym, reading, not lazy, more fit, met my narc in Jan 2024 and it's been one whole month of no contact. The withdrawals hit, i still feel no motivation to do anything, i know slowly but surely, i'll snap out of the habits and go back to how i was living. but my perspective on love and relationships has changed sooo much. I have no desire now in getting with anyone or even getting to know anyone. Does it ever get better?

They don't care about your feelings, they only care about their feelings. They want to feel happy and loved, so you have to show that for them, so they can feel those things. Anytime you're not doing that - saying no, stating boundaries, being grumpy, anything at all that isn't being happy - then it doesn't make them happy. And if they're not happy, then you're in the wrong (because only their emotions matter). As such, they get upset, guilt trip you, insult you, lovebomb you, whatever they have to do to make you act happy again for them, so they can be happy

Even if you try to talk to them about it, they won't be able to hear you. They may pretend to hear you, but it'll just slip right out of their heads. The only thing they will remember is how they felt in that moment - and since it's not a good feeling, then they will think you're attacking them ("for no reason"), and then you're the bad guy. And to punish you, they'll give you the silent treatment or do some other punishment. But only for as long as they can handle it; once they need that emotional reinforcement again, or the second you slip up and talk to them for literally any reason at all, they'll return right back to how things were.

Hi everyone, i'm looking to make a whatsapp support group for victim/survivors or narc abuse/narc relationships. Please comment or message me if you would like to be added🩷

Can you be in love more than once and have you been in love more than once? How was each experience for you?

My narc called me from prison as he ie facing deportation back to the UK, he told me how hes stopped smoking weed and how he doesnt get angry anymore and hes verbal abuse 2 weeks ago (why i cut him off) was the result of weed withdrawals, he said how he doesnt want anything serious and says we should be friends and if he calls me it will charge him if i dont pick up and thats my fault. I told him i dont wanna speak cos of how much he has disrespected me, truthfully i dont think he cared. It was obvious he wanted some company whilst hes in jail cos he said when he comes out, i dont need to speak to him but he will like my company whilst hes in jail. I know i shouldnt of picked up but i blocked the numbers and ended the call in telling him not to call me again. Is this hoovering?

The peace you have once you leave a narc is unspeakable, no verbal abuse, no emotional abuse, no putting you down, no ruining good days for you, having a good night sleep, no wiping tears before you sleep and when you wake up, no thinking twice about reality because no one is gaslighting you. It's crazy how someone who hates themselves can make you hate yourself too.

Anyone 30+ & not married or not married & no children. What's your life like, do you have any regrets? Looking to get married? Share your experiences

Do you still think about your first love? And is it true that you will never get over the first girl you loved even when your married and have kids...what are your experiences?

This is for any advice for any girls and boys who have left their narc, currently in no contact or feel stuck.

I was with my narc for 2 years, he was the most evil person ever, he emotionally abused me, made twitter accounts to expose me and uploaded hurtful things about me, broke his phones, doors and walla and blamed me, told me i should give him money if i want him to stop abusing me, cussed my appearence, my family, cheated on me, made me listen to recordings of him having sex with other girls and the list goes on. We would stop talking/break up, he would hoover me, apologise, tell me he will change, he would cry and say sorry, i would go back and the cycle repeated for 16 months. He moved to LA from the UK overstayed his visa and now he is in custosy facing deportation. I still spoke to him to be there for him but to be fair, i emotionally detached 8 months ago, but i had so much empathy for him, i felt like if i left i was abandoning him. So we spoke whilst he waa in custody, i told myself one more sign of disrespect (althought it was on and on for 2 years) i'm going to leave. And there it was. He told me "hope ur mum dies" after i told him i don't want him to always call me. He cut the call and he disappeared for a week, no emails and no phone calls. During the week of him disappearing, i took the time out to hit the gym, told my friends and family and i watched and read. I watched narc videos on Youtube/tik tok (dr ramani to be specific) and I read about narc. I realised he was a narc and sadistic. I knew he would never ever change. He called me out of the blue a week later of him disappearing on no caller id (a three way phone call) and said "i need help, can you get a USA Number for me so i can call you, i had an incident this morning and i need you to email someone for me, i just need some advice and help, i have nobody"...there it was...the hoovering. I knew straight away what it was, he was trying to suck me back in, trying to control me again. I said "no, you disrespected me again and leave me alone". I cut the call and turned off no caller id's. I was never this person, i would listen to him and do what he wanted me to do but after being with him for 2 years, going back everytime he would hoover me, loving him...he never changed. Sometimes it would just take him 24hours to switch on me and i knew if i gave in, the cycle would continue. I'm not mad at myself for picking up, even though it kinda set my healing and no contact back, i know i'd rather waste a day than more than a day being with him.

Please dont be a victim of his hoovering and continue your healing by yourself, they are not in love with you. He disappeared for a week and the first thing he said to me was "can you do me a favour", he didn't even ask how i was. You will find better, they are not capable of loving, just controlling. I know now nor to pick up no caller id's cos it's him. I know he will hoover me again, especially when he's back in the UK. But i'm stronger and will be healed by the time he's back. It will get better, just don't look back, always look forward. Hope this helps

I miss him, i wish he was never a narc and didnt have a traumatic and abusive childhood because i genuinely think he could've been such a good, kind man. He disappeared after 2 years of being together, i told him i'm done with him on Sunday and he cut me off, it's been a week he hasnt reached out and i havent either. I guess its time to heal now and look forward but what a life

Do narcissits get more abusive, dangerous and plot revenge when you ghost and leave them alone or do they eventually forget about you and move on?

My narcissist told me he will change, he will stop insulting me and my family, he will stop getting angry and i believed him. However a few days later, he will do it all over again and the cycle will repeat: He said a few days ago, he will not hurt me again and it seemed like he genuinely meant it and felt remorse for hurting me and i believed it again. Today he insulted me again, he told me "fuck ur mum and i hope ur mum dies". The cycle repeats again. How do i stop believing his lies and stop going back? He's currently in prison so ive blocked all contact but i'm scared he's gonna find me when he comes out and will start hoovering, How do i stay strong enough to break this bond and not go back?

Ive been with my narc ex for 2 years, the last 6 months its been on and off, i stopped talking to him and left him alone but 2 days later, he called me from prison. He was arressted for dangerous driving and can potentially be deported back to the country where I live (UK) he has overstayed his visa in the USA. I picked up and told him i dont want to speak anymore, he insulted me, told me i can never leave him, told me if i move on he will show my new partner what type of girl i was, insulted my family and he cut the call. Ive now blocked him and wont be picking up any of his calls. However i feel so bad and i feel like i might end up picking his call again because of where he is. He said to me i should put his time of need in front of my own feelings and he doesnt care about how he's hurt me, i should be there for him because he's in prison. How do I heal from him and go no contact without feeling guilty?

I was with my narc ex for 2 years but the last 8 months its been on and off, i'd say he's the worst type of narc and also sadistic as he gets pleasure from uploading intimate moments of me on twitter and humiliating me to hurt me, he has lied, cheated, played video recordings of him and other girls having sex on the phone, cussed my nan who passed away, my family, my appearence literally everything. Today he called me from prison as he was arrested as he has overstayed his visa so could potentially face deportation back to the UK. I told him i dont want to speak to him anymore and that was it, he threatened to expose me on twitter again, called me names, verbally assaulted my family, he told me if i move on he will show my new partner all the things me and him did together and told me to suck my dead nan, he kept saying if he comes back home he's going to come to see me, anyway the call cut and he said he will call tomorrow. Ive blocked the prison numbers he called me from, how do i leave safely? How do i move on without thinking he's going to hurt me or see me when he's back in the UK? Will no contact help him leave me alone? Please help!

I was with my narc ex for 2 years but the last 8 months its been on and off, i'd say he's the worst type of narc and also sadistic as he gets pleasure from uploading intimate moments of me on twitter and humiliating me to hurt me, he has lied, cheated, played video recordings of him and other girls having sex on the phone, cussed my nan who passed away, my family, my appearence literally everything. Today he called me from prison as he was arrested as he has overstayed his visa so could potentially face deportation back to the UK. I told him i dont want to speak to him anymore and that was it, he threatened to expose me on twitter again, called me names, verbally assaulted my family, he told me if i move on he will show my new partner all the things me and him did together and told me to suck my dead nan, he kept saying if he comes back home he's going to come to see me, anyway the call cut and he said he will call tomorrow. Ive blocked the prison numbers he called me from, how do i leave safely? How do i move on without thinking he's going to hurt me or see me when he's back in the UK? Will no contact help him leave me alone? Please help!