u/Usual-Rhubarb-5902

My ex spent the whole relationship lying to me, gaslighting me, cheating, making me cry and completely stole my self worth. I kept forgiving and loving him until he blocked me after breaking up with me through text. Its been 3 weeks and I’m starting to have very dark thoughts. It was a trauma bond to where evey time i left i would come back instantly. I feel pain because the love was so genuine and pure, nothing like he ever experienced and he just seems unaffected by losing me and hasn’t reached out. I am hurting in the worst way because i never got to say anything, just got a paragraph then was blocked before i could say something. I don’t feel capable of being loved and constantly feel heartache as it was my first serious relationship for almost 3 years. After work ill just drive a extra hour before going home, and ill just zone out.

My ex spent the whole relationship lying to me, gaslighting me, cheating, making me cry and completely stole my self worth. I kept forgiving and loving him until he blocked me after breaking up with me through text. Its been 3 weeks and I’m starting to have very dark thoughts. It was a trauma bond to where evey time i left i would come back instantly. I feel pain because the love was so genuine and pure, nothing like he ever experienced and he just seems unaffected by losing me and hasn’t reached out. I am hurting in the worst way because i never got to say anything, just got a paragraph then was blocked before i could say something. I don’t feel capable of being loved and constantly feel heartache as it was my first serious relationship for almost 3 years. After work ill just drive a extra hour before going home, and ill just zone out. I just want to disappear.

My ex spent the whole relationship lying to me, gaslighting me, cheating, making me cry and completely stole my self worth. I kept forgiving and loving him until he blocked me after breaking up with me through text. Its been 3 weeks and I’m starting to have very dark thoughts. It was a trauma bond to where evey time i left i would come back instantly. I feel pain because the love was so genuine and pure, nothing like he ever experienced and he just seems unaffected by losing me and hasn’t reached out. I am hurting in the worst way because i never got to say anything, just got a paragraph then was blocked before i could say something. I don’t feel capable of being loved and constantly feel heartache as it was my first serious relationship for almost 3 years. After work ill just drive a extra hour before going home, and ill just zone out. I just want to disappear.

My ex spent the whole relationship lying to me, gaslighting me, cheating, making me cry and completely stole my self worth. I kept forgiving and loving him until he blocked me after breaking up with me through text. Its been 3 weeks and I’m starting to have very dark thoughts. It was a trauma bond to where evey time i left i would come back instantly. I feel pain because the love was so genuine and pure, nothing like he ever experienced and he just seems unaffected by losing me and hasn’t reached out. I am hurting in the worst way because i never got to say anything, just got a paragraph then was blocked before i could say something. I don’t feel capable of being loved and constantly feel heartache as it was my first serious relationship for almost 3 years. After work ill just drive a extra hour before going home, and ill just zone out.

I was wanting a reading on my love life and current situation that I’m dealing with regarding my ex, thank you :)

He lied about his addiction and would gaslight me every time i was suspicious, he would get angry and not reassure me. Once everything came to light i was so attached that i couldn’t leave and hoped he would finally be better. His mom forced him to block me and break up with me so he can work on his addiction and so i can regain self love. I want him to reach out, not because I miss him or want to be with him but because I hate how he left me, i hate how he had all the power. I just wonder what the chance of that is :( it sucks how he let a good relationship go down the drain for his own selfish reasons. His mom still checks in on me so idk if that is a sign he is gonna end up reaching out but I’ve moved on I just hate how badly I was hurt and in the end was tossed to the side for having a huge heart.

Me and my boyfriends relationship ended due to him having a masturbation addiction and lying about it. I told him i was willing to help him do it less and even went as far as to sending him stuff. He has been doing it since highschool and during past relationships. He had a low sex drive and it harmed our sex life, he made me not masturbate because it made him insecure and was lying about stopping. I have a few questions, why didnt he just use the videos i was sending him, and my other question is, was he attracted to these women and how they looked? These women looked nothing like me and he swears he didn’t care about how they looked or their body he just cared about what they were doing in these videos. These women were very pretty and it makes me insecure. Could he have been lying? He swears he doesnt look at women in public and doesnt notice them but this is so hard to believe because the videos he would look /5 it wasnt porn but just dancing videos or innocent videos of women doing casual things in sexy clothes. He swears he never got hard from the videos and would cause himself to get hard, he also swears he wouldnt do it because he was horny.

I downloaded a app to see if he does it again behind my back (this was way before we were broken up) i saw he was on facebook for one minute then 10 min later he searched up a specific woman on YouTube shorts, when i went to her account on facebook it was like as soon as you click her account a complete different person came up which makes me feel relieved ljke maybe he didnt memorize this random girl and just stumbled upon her. Could you tell me if he may have clicked her stuff because he was attracted to how she looked or because what she was doing?

Me and my boyfriends relationship ended due to him having a masturbation addiction and lying about it. I told him i was willing to help him do it less and even went as far as to sending him stuff. He has been doing it since highschool and during past relationships. He had a low sex drive and it harmed our sex life, he made me not masturbate because it made him insecure and was lying about stopping. I have a few questions, why didnt he just use the videos i was sending him, and my other question is, was he attracted to these women and how they looked? These women looked nothing like me and he swears he didn’t care about how they looked or their body he just cared about what they were doing in these videos. These women were very pretty and it makes me insecure. Could he have been lying? He swears he doesnt look at women in public and doesnt notice them but this is so hard to believe because the videos he would look /5 it wasnt porn but just dancing videos or innocent videos of women doing casual things in sexy clothes. He swears he never got hard from the videos and would cause himself to get hard, he also swears he wouldnt do it because he was horny.

I downloaded a app to see if he does it again behind my back (this was way before we were broken up) i saw he was on facebook for one minute then 10 min later he searched up a specific woman on YouTube shorts, when i went to her account on facebook it was like as soon as you click her account a complete different person came up which makes me feel relieved ljke maybe he didnt memorize this random girl and just stumbled upon her. Could you tell me if he may have clicked her stuff because he was attracted to how she looked or because what she was doing?

Me and my boyfriends relationship ended due to him having a masturbation addiction and lying about it. I told him i was willing to help him do it less and even went as far as to sending him stuff. He has been doing it since highschool and during past relationships. He had a low sex drive and it harmed our sex life, he made me not masturbate because it made him insecure and was lying about stopping. I have a few questions, why didnt he just use the videos i was sending him, and my other question is, was he attracted to these women and how they looked? These women looked nothing like me and he swears he didn’t care about how they looked or their body he just cared about what they were doing in these videos. These women were very pretty and it makes me insecure. Could he have been lying? He swears he doesnt look at women in public and doesnt notice them but this is so hard to believe because the videos he would look /5 it wasnt porn but just dancing videos or innocent videos of women doing casual things in sexy clothes. He swears he never got hard from the videos and would cause himself to get hard, he also swears he wouldnt do it because he was horny.

I downloaded a app to see if he does it again behind my back (this was way before we were broken up) i saw he was on facebook for one minute then 10 min later he searched up a specific woman on YouTube shorts, when i went to her account on facebook it was like as soon as you click her account a complete different person came up which makes me feel relieved ljke maybe he didnt memorize this random girl and just stumbled upon her. Could you tell me if he may have clicked her stuff because he was attracted to how she looked or because what she was doing?

After finding out he has been lying this whole time about his addiction and his mom got involved he texted me “I don’t think you’ll understand this right now but I hope as time passes, you do. I’m sorry but I need to take some time to care for myself and grow. I hope you will take some time for yourself too. I’m going to remove ways of communication in the interim. Please try to give me space and do not seek me out. If things are meant too, they will work out in the future. Please take care of yourself. I love you.”

He blocked me on everything after sending this text then sent my sister texts to look after me

“Please look after your sister. I just let her know that I need space so that I can properly grow and be a better man. I love her and want what's best for her and I think right now she needs her family. In the past she has gotten very dark and I worry greatly about her.
Please contact her as soon as possible.”

My sister then said “okay, i will. also
says she
understands and is wanting to know if you are also willing to wait for her while she gets better. she doesnt seem too upset, just numb and wants to know how long you need space for.”

He then said “Okay, thank you. But there is no clear answer to any of this. I just need time for myself."

His mom and sister still follow me and like my stuff on social media. His mom keeps saying if its meant to be in the future it will be but people can change and grow so its not promised.

He hurt me really bad by lying and his masturbation addiction. His mom made him end things so we can both work on ourselves.

I met this guy my freshman year of college, he was very nice but not my type. He ended up being my first love, first kiss, first everything. He kept trying to make excuses to see me whether it be studying or walking together and talking after class. I started liking him but didnt want a relationship so i could focus on school and he teared up when i told him, i felt bad and gave into my wants of being with him. After a month into the relationship he was acting very distant and weird and later found out it had to do with him and self sabotage. I also found out at first he was hesitant on dating me because apparently my butt was flat or i didnt wear clothes that showed my figure AND because he wasnt use to being with someone darker than him.
Few months in i found out he had a masturbation addiction, he hated porn and would just watch try on haul videos or just teasing videos with women wearing see through clothing and acting promiscuous. This bothered me a lot and he told me he promised to never look at it again. A year into the relationship i had doubts and found in his hidden album screenshots of the accounts he followed on a tiktok account he had said he deleted (this was his account he would follow over 200 girls on to masturbate to). He swore he deleted the account and only kept the screenshots because he thought we would have never lasted and that i was gonna break up with him.

I was so hurt and betrayed but trusted him that he stopped doing it because he said he forgot they were there. I then fast forward to this year around November i was always suspicious about him, my intuition drove me crazy and he would get mad at me when i needed reassurance. I checked his facebook and found his reels was filthy, i also saw he would click onto many accounts. When i confronted him i asked if he was masturbating to them and he said no he swears he would just see them on reels, this made no sense because he would click into many of these pages. I broke up with him then he started crying and punching himself and acting suicidal which ive never seen him get like this.

I stayed with him, then i one day told his mom everything and she was disgusted she told me i need to break up with him for my sake because he was lying to me (he also tried lying when i found everything). I broke up with him and he stuck with this “i never masturbated to them story” even told his family this during the intervention. We were broken up for two weeks then we reconnected because i was under the assumption he got over the “urge of clicking into these accounts out of boredom and habit” 7 months with him after this i was always paranoid and not happy. His story of never masturbating and just clicking into the accounts didnt make sense and everytime i told him to be honest he would still lie. I would believe it for a brief moment everytime then it kept persisting. One day i decided to just approach it differently i said “its okay if you have been doing it its normal” he then told me he was lying the whole relationship and that he was doing it, then after then i asked if he still does and then he said no, i didnt believe him and asked again later and he fessed up that he still does it.

I was so hurt. I broke up with him but my attatchment issues made me go into a panic. I then went back with him and decided i was going to try to help him get through his addiction. I became very controlling about what apps he could have and i would ask to see his screentime (i also did this before he came clean but he would get away with doing it because he would go on incognito mode). I became very attatched and clingy, i secretly downloaded a parental controls app that shows if he installs an app, his location and what he searches on incognito mode. I begged him to come see me last Sunday and his mom was highly against it because she said we both need space. I kept forcing him to come then she kept forcing him not to. It was a back and forth. Sunday he sent me a paragraph “I don’t think you’ll understand this right now but I hope as time passes, you do. I’m sorry but I need to take some time to care for myself and grow. I hope you will take some time for yourself too. I’m going to remove ways of communication in the interim. Please try to give me space and do not seek me out. If things are meant too, they will work out in the future. Please take care of yourself. I love you.” He then sent my sister a paragraph to be there for me and how he is working on being a better man. He then blocked me on everything and it hurt me so bad.

His mom was avoiding me which hurt really bad because we have a daughter mother relationship as i would stay at their house to take care of her, both opened up to each other about private things and i lived with her for a month to help take care of her dying mother. She wouldnt allow me to call her and was very short during texts saying she wants to be there for me but it will hinder my growth. She also kept making it seem like he wasnt thinking about me anymore and thought the relationship was bad and kept saying “if its meant to be in the future it will be” and kept saying “people change and grow” and that he may not want me once healed. What also was frustrating was while me and him were trying to work through the addiction his mom kept fighting me on letting him have the app even though i thought he wasnt ready she insisted “he has to want this for himself”.

On the parental controls app i saw he re installed facebook and was on it for over an hour late at night, then in the morning he was on facebook for a minute then on youtube shorts searched up this random girls name and thats when i realized he masturbated again. Also the day i found everything out he told me he masturbated instead of answering my phone and comforting me while i cried my eyes out. It has been a week since the break up. I have no way of communicating with him. I am so hurt. Our relationship was good aside from the lying and his addiction. His mom sent me a text the other day asking if i was doing good, then liked my message. His mom then sent me some informative health related facebook reel the next day and both her and her sister liked my instagram story.

I am so hurt and confused as to whats going on. I dont know if i will be able to trust him or if he is going to come back, i understand addiction as i was a nicotine addict when i was younger. I have no idea why his mom is still communicating with me too or if that means he may reach out. I dont know if this is something he can come back from. I also dont want to miss out on the healed and fixed version of him, it would kill me to see him with another woman treating her good. And i know i may never find a man that doesnt masturbate or is willing to only do it to videos or pictures of me. His addiction ruined our sex life as he never allowed me to masturbate and made me wait until i saw him. It drove me crazy because we did it once a week and he would turn me down which was a red flag.

I met this guy my freshman year of college, he was very nice but not my type. He ended up being my first love, first kiss, first everything. He kept trying to make excuses to see me whether it be studying or walking together and talking after class. I started liking him but didnt want a relationship so i could focus on school and he teared up when i told him, i felt bad and gave into my wants of being with him. After a month into the relationship he was acting very distant and weird and later found out it had to do with him and self sabotage. I also found out at first he was hesitant on dating me because apparently my butt was flat or i didnt wear clothes that showed my figure AND because he wasnt use to being with someone darker than him.
Few months in i found out he had a masturbation addiction, he hated porn and would just watch try on haul videos or just teasing videos with women wearing see through clothing and acting promiscuous. This bothered me a lot and he told me he promised to never look at it again. A year into the relationship i had doubts and found in his hidden album screenshots of the accounts he followed on a tiktok account he had said he deleted (this was his account he would follow over 200 girls on to masturbate to). He swore he deleted the account and only kept the screenshots because he thought we would have never lasted and that i was gonna break up with him.

I was so hurt and betrayed but trusted him that he stopped doing it because he said he forgot they were there. I then fast forward to this year around November i was always suspicious about him, my intuition drove me crazy and he would get mad at me when i needed reassurance. I checked his facebook and found his reels was filthy, i also saw he would click onto many accounts. When i confronted him i asked if he was masturbating to them and he said no he swears he would just see them on reels, this made no sense because he would click into many of these pages. I broke up with him then he started crying and punching himself and acting suicidal which ive never seen him get like this.

I stayed with him, then i one day told his mom everything and she was disgusted she told me i need to break up with him for my sake because he was lying to me (he also tried lying when i found everything). I broke up with him and he stuck with this “i never masturbated to them story” even told his family this during the intervention. We were broken up for two weeks then we reconnected because i was under the assumption he got over the “urge of clicking into these accounts out of boredom and habit” 7 months with him after this i was always paranoid and not happy. His story of never masturbating and just clicking into the accounts didnt make sense and everytime i told him to be honest he would still lie. I would believe it for a brief moment everytime then it kept persisting. One day i decided to just approach it differently i said “its okay if you have been doing it its normal” he then told me he was lying the whole relationship and that he was doing it, then after then i asked if he still does and then he said no, i didnt believe him and asked again later and he fessed up that he still does it.

I was so hurt. I broke up with him but my attatchment issues made me go into a panic. I then went back with him and decided i was going to try to help him get through his addiction. I became very controlling about what apps he could have and i would ask to see his screentime (i also did this before he came clean but he would get away with doing it because he would go on incognito mode). I became very attatched and clingy, i secretly downloaded a parental controls app that shows if he installs an app, his location and what he searches on incognito mode. I begged him to come see me last Sunday and his mom was highly against it because she said we both need space. I kept forcing him to come then she kept forcing him not to. It was a back and forth. Sunday he sent me a paragraph “I don’t think you’ll understand this right now but I hope as time passes, you do. I’m sorry but I need to take some time to care for myself and grow. I hope you will take some time for yourself too. I’m going to remove ways of communication in the interim. Please try to give me space and do not seek me out. If things are meant too, they will work out in the future. Please take care of yourself. I love you.” He then sent my sister a paragraph to be there for me and how he is working on being a better man. He then blocked me on everything and it hurt me so bad.

His mom was avoiding me which hurt really bad because we have a daughter mother relationship as i would stay at their house to take care of her, both opened up to each other about private things and i lived with her for a month to help take care of her dying mother. She wouldnt allow me to call her and was very short during texts saying she wants to be there for me but it will hinder my growth. She also kept making it seem like he wasnt thinking about me anymore and thought the relationship was bad and kept saying “if its meant to be in the future it will be” and kept saying “people change and grow” and that he may not want me once healed. What also was frustrating was while me and him were trying to work through the addiction his mom kept fighting me on letting him have the app even though i thought he wasnt ready she insisted “he has to want this for himself”.

On the parental controls app i saw he re installed facebook and was on it for over an hour late at night, then in the morning he was on facebook for a minute then on youtube shorts searched up this random girls name and thats when i realized he masturbated again. Also the day i found everything out he told me he masturbated instead of answering my phone and comforting me while i cried my eyes out. It has been a week since the break up. I have no way of communicating with him. I am so hurt. Our relationship was good aside from the lying and his addiction. His mom sent me a text the other day asking if i was doing good, then liked my message. His mom then sent me some informative health related facebook reel the next day and both her and her sister liked my instagram story.

I am so hurt and confused as to whats going on. I dont know if i will be able to trust him or if he is going to come back, i understand addiction as i was a nicotine addict when i was younger. I have no idea why his mom is still communicating with me too or if that means he may reach out. I dont know if this is something he can come back from. I also dont want to miss out on the healed and fixed version of him, it would kill me to see him with another woman treating her good. And i know i may never find a man that doesnt masturbate or is willing to only do it to videos or pictures of me. His addiction ruined our sex life as he never allowed me to masturbate and made me wait until i saw him. It drove me crazy because we did it once a week and he would turn me down which was a red flag.

I met this guy my freshman year of college, he was very nice but not my type. He ended up being my first love, first kiss, first everything. He kept trying to make excuses to see me whether it be studying or walking together and talking after class. I started liking him but didnt want a relationship so i could focus on school and he teared up when i told him, i felt bad and gave into my wants of being with him. After a month into the relationship he was acting very distant and weird and later found out it had to do with him and self sabotage. I also found out at first he was hesitant on dating me because apparently my butt was flat or i didnt wear clothes that showed my figure AND because he wasnt use to being with someone darker than him.
Few months in i found out he had a masturbation addiction, he hated porn and would just watch try on haul videos or just teasing videos with women wearing see through clothing and acting promiscuous. This bothered me a lot and he told me he promised to never look at it again. A year into the relationship i had doubts and found in his hidden album screenshots of the accounts he followed on a tiktok account he had said he deleted (this was his account he would follow over 200 girls on to masturbate to). He swore he deleted the account and only kept the screenshots because he thought we would have never lasted and that i was gonna break up with him.

I was so hurt and betrayed but trusted him that he stopped doing it because he said he forgot they were there. I then fast forward to this year around November i was always suspicious about him, my intuition drove me crazy and he would get mad at me when i needed reassurance. I checked his facebook and found his reels was filthy, i also saw he would click onto many accounts. When i confronted him i asked if he was masturbating to them and he said no he swears he would just see them on reels, this made no sense because he would click into many of these pages. I broke up with him then he started crying and punching himself and acting suicidal which ive never seen him get like this.

I stayed with him, then i one day told his mom everything and she was disgusted she told me i need to break up with him for my sake because he was lying to me (he also tried lying when i found everything). I broke up with him and he stuck with this “i never masturbated to them story” even told his family this during the intervention. We were broken up for two weeks then we reconnected because i was under the assumption he got over the “urge of clicking into these accounts out of boredom and habit” 7 months with him after this i was always paranoid and not happy. His story of never masturbating and just clicking into the accounts didnt make sense and everytime i told him to be honest he would still lie. I would believe it for a brief moment everytime then it kept persisting. One day i decided to just approach it differently i said “its okay if you have been doing it its normal” he then told me he was lying the whole relationship and that he was doing it, then after then i asked if he still does and then he said no, i didnt believe him and asked again later and he fessed up that he still does it.

I was so hurt. I broke up with him but my attatchment issues made me go into a panic. I then went back with him and decided i was going to try to help him get through his addiction. I became very controlling about what apps he could have and i would ask to see his screentime (i also did this before he came clean but he would get away with doing it because he would go on incognito mode). I became very attatched and clingy, i secretly downloaded a parental controls app that shows if he installs an app, his location and what he searches on incognito mode. I begged him to come see me last Sunday and his mom was highly against it because she said we both need space. I kept forcing him to come then she kept forcing him not to. It was a back and forth. Sunday he sent me a paragraph “I don’t think you’ll understand this right now but I hope as time passes, you do. I’m sorry but I need to take some time to care for myself and grow. I hope you will take some time for yourself too. I’m going to remove ways of communication in the interim. Please try to give me space and do not seek me out. If things are meant too, they will work out in the future. Please take care of yourself. I love you.” He then sent my sister a paragraph to be there for me and how he is working on being a better man. He then blocked me on everything and it hurt me so bad.

His mom was avoiding me which hurt really bad because we have a daughter mother relationship as i would stay at their house to take care of her, both opened up to each other about private things and i lived with her for a month to help take care of her dying mother. She wouldnt allow me to call her and was very short during texts saying she wants to be there for me but it will hinder my growth. She also kept making it seem like he wasnt thinking about me anymore and thought the relationship was bad and kept saying “if its meant to be in the future it will be” and kept saying “people change and grow” and that he may not want me once healed. What also was frustrating was while me and him were trying to work through the addiction his mom kept fighting me on letting him have the app even though i thought he wasnt ready she insisted “he has to want this for himself”.

On the parental controls app i saw he re installed facebook and was on it for over an hour late at night, then in the morning he was on facebook for a minute then on youtube shorts searched up this random girls name and thats when i realized he masturbated again. Also the day i found everything out he told me he masturbated instead of answering my phone and comforting me while i cried my eyes out. It has been a week since the break up. I have no way of communicating with him. I am so hurt. Our relationship was good aside from the lying and his addiction. His mom sent me a text the other day asking if i was doing good, then liked my message. His mom then sent me some informative health related facebook reel the next day and both her and her sister liked my instagram story.

I am so hurt and confused as to whats going on. I dont know if i will be able to trust him or if he is going to come back, i understand addiction as i was a nicotine addict when i was younger. I have no idea why his mom is still communicating with me too or if that means he may reach out. I dont know if this is something he can come back from. I also dont want to miss out on the healed and fixed version of him, it would kill me to see him with another woman treating her good. And i know i may never find a man that doesnt masturbate or is willing to only do it to videos or pictures of me. His addiction ruined our sex life as he never allowed me to masturbate and made me wait until i saw him. It drove me crazy because we did it once a week and he would turn me down which was a red flag.

I met this guy my freshman year of college, he was very nice but not my type. He ended up being my first love, first kiss, first everything. He kept trying to make excuses to see me whether it be studying or walking together and talking after class. I started liking him but didnt want a relationship so i could focus on school and he teared up when i told him, i felt bad and gave into my wants of being with him. After a month into the relationship he was acting very distant and weird and later found out it had to do with him and self sabotage. I also found out at first he was hesitant on dating me because apparently my butt was flat or i didnt wear clothes that showed my figure AND because he wasnt use to being with someone darker than him.
Few months in i found out he had a masturbation addiction, he hated porn and would just watch try on haul videos or just teasing videos with women wearing see through clothing and acting promiscuous. This bothered me a lot and he told me he promised to never look at it again. A year into the relationship i had doubts and found in his hidden album screenshots of the accounts he followed on a tiktok account he had said he deleted (this was his account he would follow over 200 girls on to masturbate to). He swore he deleted the account and only kept the screenshots because he thought we would have never lasted and that i was gonna break up with him.

I was so hurt and betrayed but trusted him that he stopped doing it because he said he forgot they were there. I then fast forward to this year around November i was always suspicious about him, my intuition drove me crazy and he would get mad at me when i needed reassurance. I checked his facebook and found his reels was filthy, i also saw he would click onto many accounts. When i confronted him i asked if he was masturbating to them and he said no he swears he would just see them on reels, this made no sense because he would click into many of these pages. I broke up with him then he started crying and punching himself and acting suicidal which ive never seen him get like this.

I stayed with him, then i one day told his mom everything and she was disgusted she told me i need to break up with him for my sake because he was lying to me (he also tried lying when i found everything). I broke up with him and he stuck with this “i never masturbated to them story” even told his family this during the intervention. We were broken up for two weeks then we reconnected because i was under the assumption he got over the “urge of clicking into these accounts out of boredom and habit” 7 months with him after this i was always paranoid and not happy. His story of never masturbating and just clicking into the accounts didnt make sense and everytime i told him to be honest he would still lie. I would believe it for a brief moment everytime then it kept persisting. One day i decided to just approach it differently i said “its okay if you have been doing it its normal” he then told me he was lying the whole relationship and that he was doing it, then after then i asked if he still does and then he said no, i didnt believe him and asked again later and he fessed up that he still does it.

I was so hurt. I broke up with him but my attatchment issues made me go into a panic. I then went back with him and decided i was going to try to help him get through his addiction. I became very controlling about what apps he could have and i would ask to see his screentime (i also did this before he came clean but he would get away with doing it because he would go on incognito mode). I became very attatched and clingy, i secretly downloaded a parental controls app that shows if he installs an app, his location and what he searches on incognito mode. I begged him to come see me last Sunday and his mom was highly against it because she said we both need space. I kept forcing him to come then she kept forcing him not to. It was a back and forth. Sunday he sent me a paragraph “I don’t think you’ll understand this right now but I hope as time passes, you do. I’m sorry but I need to take some time to care for myself and grow. I hope you will take some time for yourself too. I’m going to remove ways of communication in the interim. Please try to give me space and do not seek me out. If things are meant too, they will work out in the future. Please take care of yourself. I love you.” He then sent my sister a paragraph to be there for me and how he is working on being a better man. He then blocked me on everything and it hurt me so bad.

His mom was avoiding me which hurt really bad because we have a daughter mother relationship as i would stay at their house to take care of her, both opened up to each other about private things and i lived with her for a month to help take care of her dying mother. She wouldnt allow me to call her and was very short during texts saying she wants to be there for me but it will hinder my growth. She also kept making it seem like he wasnt thinking about me anymore and thought the relationship was bad and kept saying “if its meant to be in the future it will be” and kept saying “people change and grow” and that he may not want me once healed. What also was frustrating was while me and him were trying to work through the addiction his mom kept fighting me on letting him have the app even though i thought he wasnt ready she insisted “he has to want this for himself”.

On the parental controls app i saw he re installed facebook and was on it for over an hour late at night, then in the morning he was on facebook for a minute then on youtube shorts searched up this random girls name and thats when i realized he masturbated again. Also the day i found everything out he told me he masturbated instead of answering my phone and comforting me while i cried my eyes out. It has been a week since the break up. I have no way of communicating with him. I am so hurt. Our relationship was good aside from the lying and his addiction. His mom sent me a text the other day asking if i was doing good, then liked my message. His mom then sent me some informative health related facebook reel the next day and both her and her sister liked my instagram story.

I am so hurt and confused as to whats going on. I dont know if i will be able to trust him or if he is going to come back, i understand addiction as i was a nicotine addict when i was younger. I have no idea why his mom is still communicating with me too or if that means he may reach out. I dont know if this is something he can come back from. I also dont want to miss out on the healed and fixed version of him, it would kill me to see him with another woman treating her good. And i know i may never find a man that doesnt masturbate or is willing to only do it to videos or pictures of me. His addiction ruined our sex life as he never allowed me to masturbate and made me wait until i saw him. It drove me crazy because we did it once a week and he would turn me down which was a red flag.

Hello! My boyfriend has had a masturbation addiction since he was younger he has lied about it and hid it many times. He re installs tiktok and facebook and goes on google incognito mode. We are trying to rebuild trust because he says he is serious this time, i dont trust it. What are ways i can track if he re installs old apps or goes on incognito mode, he has a iphone, tablet and laptop. I was also wondering if there was a way i could check from my phone to see what he does. Thank you :)

My ex boyfriend sexually assaulted me two years ago i have text messages as proof of me saying how traumatic it was and him not denying it. I also told his mom and she confronted him in front of his step dad and sister and he admitted to them i also have texts with his mom telling her about it and showing a video of us ice skating that night and my hair looking messed up and him saying in the video “im having a hard time smiling. He did not penetrate me i was still a virgin he pulled my pants and underwear down aggressively after i saying i didnt want thst ghen he rubbed his penis bare against me (potentially attempted rape?) I then slapped him and pushed him off. Can i press charges? Do I not have enough evidence to get him on sex offender list?

Hello, my boyfriend had a masturbation addiction he didnt watch porn but would go on Tiktok he had been doing this 1-2 a day since highs school or middle school up to early 20s. I told him I didnt like it and was willing to send him videos, he told me he deleted the account and then months later i found screenshots of all the accounts he followed in his hidden album (but he did delete the account and email associated with it) his excuse was that he thought i was going to break up with him anyway and forgot they were there. He told me he hasnt masturbated in over a year and we would have sex 1-2 a week he was satisfied. I then found a few months ago his facebook had inappropriate videos on Reels and he had clicked on many of these creators accounts. We broke up and then his whole family was involved and he told me he never masturbated to them and was clicking out of boredom and never got hard or really looked at them that way. For months after he still swears by this. He tells me he has no urge to masturbate and hasnt since he deleted tiktok. He is a great guy but this is just one of my deal breakers. He doesnt really want sex more than 1-2 a week because he says he is satisfied and said he only masturbated that much in the past out of habit. It makes no sense that he clicked on all of those profiles (was on facebook doing this for a few weeks before i caught it) and never got hard or masturbated. Could he be lying still or is this common for men to easily give it up?

He always lets me go through his phone and i check his screentime and everything as we are working on building trust back

Hello, my boyfriend had a masturbation addiction he didnt watch porn but would go on Tiktok he had been doing this 1-2 a day since highs school or middle school up to early 20s. I told him I didnt like it and was willing to send him videos, he told me he deleted the account and then months later i found screenshots of all the accounts he followed in his hidden album (but he did delete the account and email associated with it) his excuse was that he thought i was going to break up with him anyway and forgot they were there. He told me he hasnt masturbated in over a year and we would have sex 1-2 a week he was satisfied. I then found a few months ago his facebook had inappropriate videos on Reels and he had clicked on many of these creators accounts. We broke up and then his whole family was involved and he told me he never masturbated to them and was clicking out of boredom and never got hard or really looked at them that way. For months after he still swears by this. He tells me he has no urge to masturbate and hasnt since he deleted tiktok. He is a great guy but this is just one of my deal breakers. He doesnt really want sex more than 1-2 a week because he says he is satisfied and said he only masturbated that much in the past out of habit. It makes no sense that he clicked on all of those profiles (was on facebook doing this for a few weeks before i caught it) and never got hard or masturbated. Could he be lying still or is this common for men to easily give it up?

He always lets me go through his phone and i check his screentime and everything as we are working on building trust back