u/bigbear474

My friend and I are both in our master's program. She is having a super hard time. We are done classes and are working on our theses and honestly she has had so many obstacles that I wont get into but rightfully, her morale is depleted. She is having a hard time keeping a schedule or being motivated. I think she's depressed as she is having a hard time getting out of bed some days, and even with her laptop in front of her she is just struggling to actually focus.

I want to help her. I am lucky enough that I have had no mental health problems in my life, I have a hard time comprehending not being able to work even though you have a deadline approaching but I can understand it and I don't blame her. As much as i can, i understand the difficulty.

How can i help her? We go have dance class together twice a week but that is coming to an end. I want to find a way to encourage her to start sleeping on a regular schedule, find motivation to actually work, but also encourage meaningful rest. Because even days she doesnt work, i can understand that deadlines looming over you doesnt allow you to take an actual break.

I know its not my responsibility but i care about her a lot and don't want her to struggle with this degree. I want to help her finish strong so we can graduate together and start working.

My friend and I are both 26 and in our master's program. She is having a super hard time. We are done classes and are working on our theses and honestly she has had so many obstacles that I wont get into but rightfully, her morale is depleted. She is having a hard time keeping a schedule or being motivated. I think she's depressed as she is having a hard time getting out of bed some days, and even with her laptop in front of her she is just struggling to actually focus.

I want to help her. I am lucky enough that I have had no mental health problems in my life, I have a hard time comprehending not being able to work even though you have a deadline approaching but I can understand it and I don't blame her. As much as i can, i understand the difficulty.

How can i help her? We go have dance class together twice a week but that is coming to an end. I want to find a way to encourage her to start sleeping on a regular schedule, find motivation to actually work, but also encourage meaningful rest. Because even days she doesnt work, i can understand that deadlines looming over you doesnt allow you to take an actual break.

I know its not my responsibility but i care about her a lot and don't want her to struggle with this degree. I want to help her finish strong so we can graduate together and start working.

My friend and I are both 26 and in our master's program. She is having a super hard time. We are done classes and are working on our theses and honestly she has had so many obstacles that I wont get into but rightfully, her morale is depleted. She is having a hard time keeping a schedule or being motivated. I think she's depressed as she is having a hard time getting out of bed some days, and even with her laptop in front of her she is just struggling to actually focus.

I want to help her. I am lucky enough that I have had no mental health problems in my life, I have a hard time comprehending not being able to work even though you have a deadline approaching but I can understand it and I don't blame her. As much as i can, i understand the difficulty.

How can i help her? We go have dance class together twice a week but that is coming to an end. I want to find a way to encourage her to start sleeping on a regular schedule, find motivation to actually work, but also encourage meaningful rest. Because even days she doesnt work, i can understand that deadlines looming over you doesnt allow you to take an actual break.

I know its not my responsibility but i care about her a lot and don't want her to struggle with this degree. I want to help her finish strong so we can graduate together and start working.

I started boxing like 6 months ago for fun. I wasn't boxing against people really, just in group classes, but learned a lot because the instructors do help us one on one a lot too. I recently joined the intro sparring program the gym has to learn how to spar and I really enjoy it. I'm not good yet at all, but they have a fight team that you can join for all levels and work towards fighting and competing.

I can't decide if i should join the fight team and start competing. I am worried about injuring my brain/head whether long term or even short term. I am a 28F, I am a software engineer, so i need my brain to be fully operational everyday, and I have had 2 concussions already in my life so i know i am susceptible to another one pretty easy. I cant even spin in a circle more than 2 times without having insanely blurry vision and almost throwing up.

Is it worth it to try to fight? Or should i just stick to doing some of these programs for fun and doing the regular classes and stuff?

TLDR; my friends bf treats her badly, has cheated on her and she’s considering moving to another country for a year to be with him while he plays soccer. Should I say something about how she deserves better? If so, how? Also it’s becoming hard to be friends with her and listen to all this.

So my friend and her bf (both 24) have been together for 4.5 years. I’ve only been friends with her for 2 years but we’ve grown really close and see each other weekly.

He cheated on her 2.5 years ago (6months before her and I met). He slept with some random girl at a party, never told my friend and she only found out a month later when one of her bf’s friends gf’s told her. I don’t know how it went down between my friend and bf but they stayed together.

He sucks. He doesn’t cook, he rarely drives to her house to see her and gets her to come to him, he doesn’t do anything with her unless it’s watching hockey or something like that together. He doesn’t talk to her everyday, when he’s around friends he thinks it’s “gay” to show affection to her (I can’t make sense of this but she told me he said this). He doesn’t tell her he loves her often, he’s basically villainized her friends she had before me. When he cheated, she took his side and cut off all her childhood friends or now has strained relationships with them because they voiced their concerns for her staying with him and treated her poorly and she took her bf’s side somehow.

She does his university homework for him, replies to emails for him, cooks for him, completely rearranges her schedule for him. He won’t even go to a fun store or the farmers market with her if she wants to but she does everything for him.

He recently brought home a coffee for my friend and she was so happy and shocked and thought it was the most thoughtful gesture ever and she was gushing. And it’s nice she’s appreciative but that shouldn’t be considered a grand gesture. She will hear that my bf cooks for us half the time, or he takes me out on dates and calls me to check in or update me on how his days going thinks that’s like insane and he’s the best bf in the world, but that’s normal? She was so shocked that we say we love each other every day. She is shocked when we’re all in a group and sometimes my bf puts his arms around me casually.

It’s also becoming hard to be friends with her because I have to bite my tongue bc she voluntarily tells us all these things and thinks lots of bad things are normal. I feel like I’m lying to her. And also it’s just so hard to hear. I’ve never been in this position. Sometimes I nudge her and say those things aren’t normal or he’s not being nice but she’s so defensive and snaps back at me and I’m worried about ruining our friendship like she did with her childhood friends. I don’t want her to be isolated. She said she loves him, wants to marry him but she doesn’t know if he wants the same. She says he couldn’t function without her which makes me think she has really low self esteem and wants to feel needed.

Anyway. All to say. Is it worth saying something to her about how she deserves better and her relationship isn’t normal? Worst of all, she’s about to move to the UK with him for a year bc he got a soccer scholarship for one year. She’s taking the year off of stuff to be there with him. She’s on the fence about going still but I think she’s lying and has made up her mind.
If I do say something, how? Or is it not worth it? He’s not my bf and it’s not my life so maybe I shouldn’t?

My bf has been struggling with anxiety and depression pretty badly for about a year and a half now. And 90% of the time I know I’m there for him and helping however I can and doing the right things. But the other 10% of the time I slip up. I let my emotions get in the way and I get upset at him for things that I need to have patience for and things I usually have patience for.

Examples:
I got mad at him for having a big pile of dishes in his room, he’s usually good about it but when he is super anxious and depressed he has a difficult time with it. Same with laundry. Again, probably 99% of the time I don’t get upset about this bc I know it’s hard and I just do it for him or leave it for when he feels he can do it bc some days he feels good enough to do them.

He forgot to invite me to a big family lunch today. He forgot to invite me because he just wasn’t thinking about it because all he’s been trying to focus on in the past 3 days is controlling his breathing. He told me late last night but I committed to something that was too late to get out of but had he told me literally yesterday early afternoon, it would’ve been a non-issue and I would’ve been at lunch. He’s done this a couple times but this is the first time I missed it and I’m sad I didn’t get to see some of his family that I hadn’t seen in a while.

He made us late to a family dinner for my family because he fell asleep and had to shower and then came in an old t shirt. Again, he was just in a bad headspace and he felt super super bad about it. I was upset at him at first but calmed down really really fast bc I know it’s bc of how he’s doing mentally.

There’s more but these are recent examples. I know I shouldn’t be upset, he is truly down in the dumps. And I promise I have so much patience for him 90% of the time but that 10% I accidentally get upset and then it makes him feel worse and it’s like I’m pushing him further into a hole for a moment.

Any tips on how to deal with this? How to be more patient? I don’t feel like I’ve had a bf since he got into mental place. And I’m not upset at all that he’s doing bad mentally, it’s just a human reaction I guess? I miss him and miss dates and having fun together etc. but I have NEVER told him that bc none of this is in his control and he’s truly trying everything to get better. Info - we’ve been together 5 years and we’re 27.

Ps. Not a post on how to get him better mentally, it’s a post for how I can handle it better. So encouragement about meds, therapy etc aren’t needed because that’s all being taken care of

We’ve been together for 4 years. My (27f) bfs (27f) family is doing a Mother’s Day brunch and I overheard his mom say on the phone that she hopes both him and I can make it. His brother planned it and made resos. Well turns out his brother assumed I couldn’t come and didn’t ask me or my bf. We had no idea until my bf asked who was invited and his brother didn’t say his name.
Well I am available because my mom works during the day and we are doing a Mother’s Day dinner instead like we have my whole entire life.

Now my bf asked his brother to add another spot for the reso and he did. But now I don’t want to go bc I wasn’t originally invited.

I don’t want to because I don’t feel included and it sours my mood. I’ve gone to Mother’s Day and Father’s Day things a couple times in years we end up having different celebration times. Is it rude to not be invited? Like am I being rude by not coming? Is it petty? I’ve been included in other things but maybe because it’s not my mom I shouldn’t go?

I am graduating with a Masters in epidemiology. From what I understand, I can be an epidemiologist, data analyst or policy analyst. Is there more?

Also how do I find corporate jobs in my city to apply for and how do I apply? There’s nothing available for the government which would’ve been my dream (Canada).

Any tips???? And also I know I should cold email places, how to cold email??? Who to cold email???

I am trying to apply for jobs with the Mb government, it's my first time as i just completed my schooling. Each job posting says to email your resume and cover letter, but they also have an "apply now" button that basically makes the email for you and you copy and past your resume and cover letter.

Which is the better way to apply? and if it's emailing - what do i say in the email?