u/evergreengirl123

It has been a hard couple of weeks. The job I worked incredibly hard at, I started it at 10.5 weeks postpartum, moved across the country for it, basically exploded. And there’s been a lot of other trauma triggers that came up.

I’m a solo mom to my 8 month old son. His dad has never met him, and now we live 1500 miles apart. I know it’s probably from the hellish week, but I keep wondering is this fair to him? Am I enough? He didn’t ask to be born. Even though I love him so much, we have a lot of support, was it wrong to bring him into this world knowing his bio dad probably won’t be in his life?

I wish I was back in therapy, but I haven’t had a chance to find one in my new state due to how busy I’ve been.

Like I try so hard all the time, but if you were to ask either one of my parents that they’d say they tried too, but they caused me so much pain and trauma

I had my son at 25, I’m now 26, and he’s 8 months old. I work in tech, in Seattle. Everyone that I knew growing up, all of my current coworkers have babies a minimum of 30+ more like 35+. My cousin and his wife had their first at 34. Everywhere I go, all of the families I see, this is not at all meant to be rude but the parents look like my parents. I feel like most people when we are out in public assume I’m the nanny. Or when I’m with my aunt, who’s 50, but looks 40-45 that she’s his mom.

I don’t know, I just feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. I have a baby, so I’m not out partying like my coworkers the same age. I’m also not 35. I like TikTok, reality tv, I’m trying to date a little bit. It’s also the solo thing. I can’t stand listening to women all the time say how horrible their husbands are. Or when they say they are solo parenting because he’s on a work trip. Um no you’re not, you’re not a solo parent, he’s eventually coming back. Just feeling like I don’t fit anywhere

I’m a birth mom, the child I placed is almost 6. I recently had a baby about 8 months ago. I did reach out to her dads to let them know, I didn’t receive a reply (this was months ago) I’ve been thinking about what they were thinking from their perspective. I work in tech/corporate America, am still young, 99% of women have kids 30+. Were they surprised that I had another baby? Did they understand that now I see the old monthly updates with different context, like the fact a baby can’t grow 6 inches in 3 months. I’m just really curious what adoptive parents are told about this. Or is it something that is talked about at all

I’m looking for places to go and drive to, to watch fireworks but not have to worry about parking

We had an open adoption, we did two visits, I was getting monthly updates. We didn’t talk for about a year. I texted them back in January to let them know I had my son and that I moved, they didn’t respond. Today I was just looking at our text thread and I didn’t even know you could do this but on iPhones you can remove all the photos from a thread and apparently they did that. It just feels really shitty and mean. I hope they are better parents to her than how they have treated me

It has been a rough week. I asked for Ada accommodations at work, got put on a 20 day impossible to achieve performance improvement plan. Now I’m on medical leave. I had to increase my anti psychotic that I worked so hard and felt so shitty for a month to decrease. I had to go back on twice daily anxiety meds when I had been off them for a year. Increasing my meds doesn’t mean I failed, it means I recognize I need more support right now, and I’m doing everything I can do give that to myself.

Even with all of that, I know it’s just a hard moment. I didn’t do anything wrong. I will find a new job that is even better. They can’t take away my stability that I fought so hard for. I’m so much more than just working in tech. I’m a solo mom, a good friend, a niece, a grand daughter. It’s all going to be ok.

I have extremely intense anxiety. I used to have 4 different meds that barely helped. My anxiety is infinitely better, but it’s so much work to maintain. I currently have an 8 month old son. He’s amazing, and I always wanted at least 3 kids. But the thought of doing pregnancy again, and the newborn stage again sounds impossible. It takes so much effort on my end not to spiral every time I get anxious about him. I worked extremely hard in therapy to be able to do it. I just don’t know if I want to do it all over again.

Yesterday I asked HR and let my manager know I wanted to start the process of ADA accommodations. A few hours later I got placed on a 20 day pip. The pip is basically set up for me to fail, no one could meet it. And it’s completely out of the blue. I had received absolutely no warnings or feedback that they had concerns about my performance. Actually just back in April I did a presentation to the whole company, and got a lot of positive feedback. Just like 2 weeks ago I got told my role is in the best place it’s been in years from a coworker.

One of the things in the pip 3/5 of my coworkers also do. It talks about how implementation deadlines have changed, when I started back in January I was specifically told a minimum of 30 days but could be up to 90, now it’s a maximum of 30, and I was never told until yesterday. Obviously I’m looking for a new job asap, I’m just curious are there any legal things I could do?

Edit: I got an attorney to take my case on a contingency basis. It does make me really sad to see how hateful people are towards people with disabilities

I personally do. To me disability isn’t a bad word it’s a neutral word. I work full time and am a mom, but I have different needs than someone who isn’t bipolar.

I have an 8 month old. He’s the best, literally the happiest baby you’ll ever meet. I do work full time, 2 days a week in the office. But on the weekends especially when I don’t have plans, I love him but he’s so boring. He babbles a lot, but no real words, he can sit on his own, but not quite crawling. I think if I had another adult in the house I don’t think I would feel so bored.

The reason I’m really thinking about all of this, is I have wanted 3-4 kids my entire adult life. I was planning on trying for baby 2 next February. But I think by then my son should be a lot more interesting, and the thought of doing this all over again doesn’t sound appealing at all

I’m a mom to an 8 month old. His dad lives in a different state, has never met him, no financial support, etc. I was planning on trying for baby number 2 in February with a donor. I’m just feeling a little discouraged about finances. I live in a very high cost of living area. My son is watched by my grandparents when I have my two in office days. I know it would be too much for them to watch him and a new baby.

Does anyone have advice on what to do about childcare especially if you have more than 1? What type of careers do you work in? Currently I’m in customer success in tech, and with all the rto stuff it’s hard to find an all remote job

I have no thyroid, I moved from a different state and have had such a hard time finding an endocrinologist. I’m still waiting on the uw to even schedule me

I’m a solo mom to my 8 month old. I wanted him every day for 5 years. But even with that I didn’t feel the overwhelming love. I mean I loved him, but it wasn’t what I thought I should feel. My therapist reassured me it’s normal, it doesn’t make me a bad mom. Now today when he’s almost 8 months old, I feel like I know him. And that overwhelming sense of love finally came. Like the type of love where I would lay in front of a bus for him. I just want to share, especially for other women. I feel like the love thing is talked more with dads/non birthing parents but not moms

I’m 26, I’ve been diagnosed officially since I was 14, but had symptoms younger. It was brutal for a long time. I had to go to residential twice at 14, the type where they come get you in the middle of the night. I’ve been hospitalized twice as an adult. I’ve been homeless. I’ve been arrested. I didn’t graduate high school, I got my ged at 19.

Now I work full time in tech. I’m a solo mom to a 7 month old. I still have hard moments, but I am living a life I never thought I would live.

I’m a solo mom to a 7.5 month old. It’s just me all day everyday, and has been since he was born. He does go to my grandparents when I’m in the office two days a week. But I haven’t had any time just me no baby no work since he was born. My family friend is going to watch him for a few hours this weekend. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself lol. I haven’t been alone in so long. Maybe I’ll get my nails done, who knows the possibilities are endless haha

I have been pregnant twice. The first time was with my first love. I live with bipolar 1 mixed type or rapid cycling and he lives with schizoaffective disorder. It wasn’t planned and all he wanted me to do was terminate because of our mental health diagnoses. I will never forget where I was when we were having that conversation. I said mental health illnesses are not a reason not to be born. I am absolutely pro choice, free healthcare, all the social services, etc. But watching the videos of this couple really bothered me.

Part of me has always wondered if my parents knew my diagnosis would they have terminated. Obviously I know it’s not the same thing. But I personally know many people with bipolar disorder who can’t live independently or work. I do work full time, am a mom, but I know that’s not always true for people. It just made me sad.

I recently moved home to the same state as all of my family. My dad and his wife are the only ones that live in a different part of the state. Since moving back 6 months ago I’ve seen them like 3 times. I also have a 7 month old baby. I have a complicated relationship with my dad, and I can’t stand his wife. My dad’s side of the family is having a Father’s Day event on Father’s Day. I said I had plans, and wasn’t planning on going. I will probably be the only family member on my dad’s side who isn’t there. I just really don’t feel like celebrating my dad. I am a solo parent, so I’ll probably do something to celebrate my grandfather. Am I the asshole for not going? Should I just go, then leave like an hour later like I did at a different family event?

I have a complicated family dynamics. I am a birth mom and now a mom. I recently moved home to the same state as all of my family. My son is 7 months old. Everyone acts like being able to raise him completely erases the pain of the adoption. Today I learned my cousins wife is pregnant with their third. I was told at a big family event. The person who told me assumed I already knew. I had to go cry in my car. Not because I was sad, but because it was a huge trigger. I just wish my family would consider me. All I would have wanted was to be told privately via text. Then I could process in the comfort of my home. It was a very hard day.

I shouldn’t be depressed but I am. I just got this amazing new job. 2nd job I’ve gotten in 6 months. Which is a huge accomplishment with this job market. But I’m sad :( everything feels hard.i just want to go under the covers and cry. I try not to think about it too much what bipolar has taken from me. This past month has been really hard. And I feel like I’m not enjoying my baby like I could if I wasn’t bipolar. And I also try not to think about this too much but what if when he goes to school his friends aren’t allowed to come over bc of me. I’ve been diagnosed for 12 years. Even after all that time, there’s times I wish I didn’t live with bipolar. I don’t really know anything different though since I was 14 when I was diagnosed

I recently moved to the same state as all of my family. My parents are divorced, I’ve been no contact with my mom for 3 years. I’m low contact with my dad. Unfortunately I still have to see him at family events but other than that we don’t have contact. His family always encourages me to see him. He was abusive in a way that didn’t leave marks. He’s caused me so much pain. I also have a 7 month old son. My dad would absolutely say horrible things about me in front of him. I know I’ve tired with my dad and low contact is what is best. How do I handle my family encouraging me to have more contact?