u/igotplans2

What is wrong with people who do this? People who couldn't wait the 5 seconds it took for you to pass and give them the all clear. And it's usually people who first pause and seem to be considering waiting before they just go ahead and do the dirty deed.

I've known someone for a long time who on occasion freely acknowledges being selfish, reckless, conniving, boundary crossing, demeaning, pretentious, sycophantic, and hypocritical. She's even this way with her own children, who are now struggling to pick up the pieces as adults. When she articulates these things about her traits, it's as if she's congratulating herself for being so aware and able to admit it, and there is no indication whatsoever that she intends to change or thinks she should have to. Just total acceptance of herself as a person who runs roughshod over others and leaves people traumatized and worse off for having encountered her.

Not a pessimist, but someone who's prone to assign ulterior motives or evil intentions to others in scenarios where most people would interpret the same things as benign or positive.

I have a strong feeling that my former long-term friend was diagnosed with NPD because she has undeniable traits that I've observed over a period of decades. I know many of her close family members well, and they have the same belief. She has only ever said she's borderline, and even that she'll only throw into the middle of a rant, as if she wants to admit to having it but can't bring herself to say it in a way that would invite questions or a conversation about it.

I was watching a YouTube couple being interviewed the other day, and the husband was asked if he wanted baby number 10. He said no and the wife looked at him stunned, like he was nuts and betraying her. The poor guy looked like he was happy a stranger had finally asked his opinion because he'd never felt he could say it directly to his overbearing wife.

I write everyday. It's something I'm compelled to do and that I enjoy. I have a habit of jotting down ideas, thoughts, even full paragraphs that form in my head about a particular topic. Sometimes, I will do this over a period of days until I've nearly written a book. But then I will go back and read things that I wrote early on and they read like the work of someone else. It's like I don't even recognize my own voice and sometimes I can't even follow the rationale in those thoughts. I'm starting to think that's not normal and wonder what it might be indicative of.

Back in the day, before airbags, it made sense to refer to them as spokes because they were long and basically just metal rods, but it seems weird to call the current little arms spokes Even the term "arm" doesn't seem quite right to me since they're sometimes as wide as they are long and are sometimes control hubs.

I'm 65F, 5'4" 180 lbs; nonsmoker; taking meds for depression; 10 months post lumbar fusion and laminectomy.

I postponed recommended lumbar fusion surgery and experienced muscle wasting in my right tibialis anterior due to nerve damage as a result. After having surgery, I am now working my way up to walking about a mile a day but I am experiencing a lot of discomfort and I trip occasionally, which I assume has to do with the way my right foot is falling now.

The pain I experience from overcompensating for that wasted muscle is not just in my leg but in what feels like a band going all the way around the top of my thigh where it meets the pelvis and in my right glute. Is there anything I can do to ease this pain or any adjustments I can make in footwear or in the way I walk? My back is improving tremendously with walking, so I don't want to stop.

I postponed recommended lumbar fusion surgery and experienced muscle wasting in my right tibialis anterior as a result. After having surgery, I am now working my way up to walking about a mile a day but I am experiencing a lot of discomfort and I trip occasionally, which I assume has to do with the way my right foot is falling now.

The pain I experience from overcompensating for that wasted muscle is not just in my leg but in what feels like a band going all the way around the top of my thigh where it meets the pelvis and in my right glute. Is there anything I can do to ease this pain or any adjustments I can make in footwear or in the way I walk? My back is improving tremendously with walking, so I don't want to stop.

I recently heard this from a woman who's new to our area and I'd never heard it before. I've heard 'buy groceries', 'shop for groceries', and 'get groceries', but never 'make groceries'. She was surprised when none of us in the office had ever heard it and said it was common in her hometown near Newport News, VA. I think it sounds kind of cute, and may use it sometimes.

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I had a now-former friend for three decades with whom I was in a perpetual cycle of being idealized, devalued, discarded, and lured back in. Only recently did I educate myself after she let slip that she had been diagnosed as borderline sometime back, and a family member of hers told me she also has narcissistic personality disorder. I found this out right after I told her the relationship was over when I realized I was about to be discarded again. Fortunately, I know the signs by now so I got a jump on her, sent her a message saying I was done, and blocked her number in my phone and on all social media.

Now that I've talked to someone in her family again, a lot of things are clicking into place because of comments this former friend made over the years. She is extremely sneaky, calculating, and rather tech savvy, and has done things like plant cameras and tracking devices, access personal records she has no business seeing, impersonate people, and drive slowly and repeatedly by the homes of people I was dating just to make them uncomfortable. She would be absolutely irate and would probably call the authorities if anyone did those types of things to her, but she thinks she's above rules.

Since I cut her off last week, weird things have been happening with my phone (like her number suddenly becoming unblocked and her profile icon popping up here and there on my screen for no reason), to the point that I fear she has hacked into it. I'm so nervous right now. She has no boundaries, which I've known for a long time, but up until now I've believed I was special to her and therefore immune to her unethical behavior. I know, I know... I'm naive, stupid, and a very slow learner.

What would you call this type of intrusive, intel gathering behavior? Does it fall into the category of common NPD or BPD traits, or am I dealing with something else in addition to those? Do I have reason to fear she may do something vengeful to get back at me for daring to cut her off after all these years? I'm so anxious and paranoid today. Even though she lives hundreds of miles away, I'm afraid she'll find a way to get at me.

Last week, I had a friend of several decades ghost me again after the most recent occurrence of her feeling ego bruised or offended. I'm not sure what caused it this time because she never articulates it. I don't think she can without feeling ridiculous because deep down she knows it's trivial. This was the first time, however, that she seemed to be processing it by blocking my number and then posting something passive-aggressive on her FB. Something about needing God to help her close the door completely on a relationship that hurts and one that she keeps returning to only because of familiarity and fear of something else good not coming along.

I was making my peace with the end of the relationship because of that post and the fact that she's never actually blocked my number before during periods when she's not communicating with me. Then, late last night she sent me a reel by text. It was something dumb, not the usual type of thing we'd send one another. It made me wonder if she just wanted to see if it went through because she wondered if I'd blocked her in return, or if she was testing the waters to see if I was still open to starting the cycle over again and for her to activate the love bombing feature.

My question: Do you think she genuinely meant it when she said she only returns to me because the relationship is long-term and familiar? I should mention she didn't actually write the post herself, so she might have just borrowed it because even though everything in it didn't fit precisely it was close enough to her state of mind at the time.

When it's become so natural and normal for them they struggle to communicate without it. It's every third word. If you ask them to please curb it because of the company you're in or because of the current situation, their speech becomes halting and they still mess up and apologize.

I'm talking about situations in which their ego got bruised over something minor or something they misconstrued and they abruptly cut contact without a word, so you have to try and figure out what happened. Has anyone known a partner or friend to come back and say they're sorry, that their reaction was exceedingly disproportionate to what happened? Or do they continue in perpetuity to feel like they were wronged and their perception was reality?

I'm embarrassed to admit that sometimes I'm not certain if I'd be using 'ironic' correctly in a particular circumstance, so I'll express what I'm trying to communicate in a different way.

This can be problematic in a number of ways from time to time, and I typically use asterisks on either side when I want to indicate that it's a capital 'i', but I just spent two minutes reading an article and being confused because I thought they were talking about AI, as in artificial intelligence, when they were actually referring to a guy who plays a character named Al.

I've known her for decades and have hung in there with her through numerous cycles of being alternately idealized and completely devalued. I'm not sure if I'm forgiving to a fault or exceedingly stupid. Anyway, I've always had trouble understanding something about her, and I don't want to ask directly because I know it would probably send her into a rage or I'd get the frigid silent treatment. I've learned not to prick her.

My friend talks A LOT. I can barely get a word in edgewise and conversation, and she admits all kinds of hurtful and shameful things she's done. But sometimes when she's talking to me, she'll replay a heated conversation with someone like her spouse or boss and tell me all the defensive things she said to threaten them and get them to back down. She'll throw things in their faces that they've done and try to paint herself as a victim and a saint even though she's done much worse behind their backs, they just don't know it.

The thing is, I DO know it, so why is she telling ME these things as if she's pulling one over on me just like she is with them? When she's saying these things, it feels as though she really believes the lies in the moment, and I think that's why it leaves me so stunned I've never interrupted and asked her what the hell she's talking about and if she's forgotten that she's talking to someone who knows better and has even been an eyewitness to things.

Please help me understand this.

No, I am not happy you arrived earlier so I could 'get on with my day'. I had just completely disrobed to get in the shower and I haven't brushed my teeth yet. I don't care that you got finished with your first appointment early. Go get a cup of coffee and an Egg McMuffin like a normal person, or sit in your truck down the street and doomscroll. Also, I'm perturbed that I lost the hair appointment I cancelled to be available for your azz from 10 to freaking 2, and you're done and gone by 9:50 and that hair appointment slot is taken.

You know, that unique combination of boredom, impatience, dismissiveness, grudgefulness, and petty relishing of their power to make you wait, leave and start all over, or ruin your life.