u/lacetat

Cannot recall the name of the book.

Plot: a hereditary galactic ruling class maintains control of their super intelligent class through a genetic marker that induces random fits of compulsion. The OCD episode can last minutes, hours, or even days. The fits are seen as a sign of being touched by the Divine.

I could go on, but I think this is probably enough. I found the eventual discussion of what constitutes faith when the genetic compulsion is removed to be profound (at least for me).

So I wanted to be a cello major. I had just started playing the year before going to college, so I entered as a liberal arts major and hoped to switch. I took lessons and attended the weekly master class. I suppose I was ok for only playing for a couple of years, but I really wanted it. I was nowhere near college level playing. Stupid me.

Another cellist, who had been playing all her life, gave me the opportunity to be the cellist in a quartet with a singer at a church service, conducted by the head of the music department. He would pick all of us up at our various dorms at 8 on sunday.

Cool! I would have all day Sunday to work on the music before being picked up!!

You probably see the issue here already.

I didn't know that she meant 8 AM. I lived a very sheltered life and had almost no exposure to Christianity or churches. I thought I was being picked up at 8 PM. I mean, who goes anywhere at the ungodly hour of 8 am on a Sunday morning?

I was asleep when the dorm buzzer sounded. My cello was locked up in the music building. I hadn't looked at the music at all. I was sight reading and, remember, not very advanced. No one in the car could believe my utter misunderstanding.

What a complete and total disaster!! It was a real-life performance nightmare. Oof.

TLDR: looking for moral support after completion of estate plan. I'm worn out and feeling alone.

Signed all the documents today. Sent off the SNT letter to family, the wording for the beneficiary designations to the broker. I'm very confident all has been set up well. This practice came highly recommended.

Everyone says I'm so efficient, I have so much on the ball, I have set up so much in so little time after the move.

I say I am ugly crying in the middle of the night because our lawyer sent his associate instead of him to the signing, in rather less than business casual clothes and no acknowledge at the end of having just made a contract with the future, just, " here are your documents and we're done."

It's not the grooming of the professionals per se, it's the lack of the nonverbal signaling of how momentous this kind of thing is. It's that my loved one with special needs is my life, and at the end of the day, these guys can set us aside.

It's that I still feel so all alone, I'm getting older, I'm more worn out. We moved to be close to the family who will take over after we're dead. But moving to a new state means starting over with all the social services.

Where else can I put these feelings? Thanks for being here, reddit.

Please help me with a reality check.

We just signed all of our estate documents, a not inconsiderable undertaking. It felt pretty big to me. The small firm we used, in a large metropolitan area, came highly recommended for the specialization we required. I feel quite confident that everything has been executed well.

My problem is with the appearance of the young-ish junior lawyer who handled the signing.

His hair might be considered fashionable, I'm not sure at all, but it looked like its casual unruliness had grown too long. His 5 o'clock shadow was not trimmed up to let you know it was an actual style choice. And his polo shirt did not match his pants, as if he pulled them off the hangers in the dark.

Is this kind of thing the norm? Should I/could I say something to our lawyer, whose name is on the firm? It really felt rather unprofessional and while organized, rather unceremonious for what we were doing. In fact, I was surprised that the lawyer we spoke with initially was not at the signing.

Edit to address the people who think I'm ridiculous: this is not the average estate organization. Its an emotional event, making sure family members I'm caring for now, who will never be able to care for themselves, will be cared for when I'm dead. Competent work is the expectation and the minimum. But I would have hoped that business casual, and a little acknowledgement of making a contract with the future, would have been a part of that minimum, too.

Most moving series I've seen in forever. Satisfying ending.

Would totally watch the Shaw/Fusco sequel!

Fictional character Billy Bud and author Douglas Adams would have appreciated Finch's humourous comment about the machine learning the secret of life only to forget it.

Fitting to end the series just before the High Holy Days, with the overarching discussions about human choice and what actually constitutes divinity.

Tangentially related: I actually volunteered to lead a part of Shabbat services yesterday and followed through! And my davening was well received! I had a serious panic attack beforehand. Although I experience similar just before leining every time, this was worse.

I am so relieved it went well. I hope this is just the beginning, and the panic subsides.

I've been pushing myself to do more readings with less prep time. Pushed too hard this past Shabbat.

Positives: I had no problem finding the non-consecutive aliyot. I was able to keep going even when my trope was off; etnachtas and sof pasuks were in the right place. The presence of a different gabbai rishon threw me off. Even so, I could still keep going with accurate Hebrew.

Now, the issue: I could not keep my two-word and three-word tevir/revi'i phrases straight for the life of me. I could do it perfectly in one practice, then everything would fly out of my brain in the next. The Hebrew this week was fairly easy, it should not have been as challenging as it was.

Here's where I need suggestions:

When I am on the bimah, either davening or leining, I can't think. Everything has to *be there,* planned and expected. In a way, it feels like I'm brain-dead, only partially present. A different gabbai? I'm thrown off. The other folks davening are not the regulars and they chant in a different tessitura? I'm thrown off.

Because of this "malady," i require intense preparation. To others, I look and sound like I'm very experienced. In a way I am, but in a way it's as if I have no idea what I'm doing.

I sure would appreciate any thoughts you might have.

Today is one of those days when I just have to sit back and say, "ok, I guess *this* is what I'm wearing today," and roll my eyes every time I walk by a reflective window or mirror.

Old-a$$ adult walking around in clothes for a youngster. Today old-a$$ me is too tired to fight it.

Mid-season 4, first watch, opinion:

Finch may have the equivalent amount of money, but Elias has the history, unwavering long term loyalty of others, unflappable nature, complicated morals, and underworld clout of The Black List's Raymond Reddington.

What is your opinion about the scenes at the social skills support group?

I am wondering if they would be useful in explaining high functioning autism to those with little experience interacting with people on the spectrum.

This last season broke me, I just could not face returning. Usually everything is neatly tied up for my return; some projects are always carried over. But I lost track of my regular projects as too much else was piled on.

In the company's expansion it was as if I was dumped into an entirely different job with different expectations and new managers without being told. My anxiety would go through the roof at the thought of returning.

If it got so bad, and leaving was absolutely the right decision, then why do I feel adrift?

This last season broke me, I just could not face returning. Usually everything is neatly tied up for my return; some projects are always carried over. But I lost track of my regular projects as too much else was piled on.

In the company's expansion it was as if I was dumped into an entirely different job with different expectations and new managers without being told. My anxiety would go through the roof at the thought of returning.

If it got so bad, and leaving was absolutely the right decision, then why do I feel adrift?

I think the TV movie I saw oh so many years ago must have been an adaptation from a short story.

An old sailor, who looks like he should have retired years ago, goes out on shore leave seeking female companionship.

As the story develops, it becomes a devastating portrait of a man with no family and no connections of any kind. Evidently he has been content with the flings available on shore leave, building instant rapport for the short term.

With no relationships sustained over time, the issues of aging, loneliness, and illness come into stark relief.

I would like to revisit this film and find the short story. Obviously, it made quite the impression.

Edit: perhaps I misremembered. Was he newly released from his ship because he was too old and infirm? He lands in a boarding house because he has nowhere to go, tries to get it on with the proprietress who is having none of his shenanigans, and the ensuing dialogue reveals his disconnected life?

English, USA.

What is your opinion about the scenes at the social skills support group?

I am wondering if they would be useful in explaining high functioning autism to those with little experience interacting with people on the spectrum.

Title, basically. I have a sibling who never initiates conversation. If we do talk, he just listens without offering affirmation, or comments, or adding from his experience. He will answer direct questions. It's as if he's waiting to exit the conversation. I don't think he dislikes me. I've overtly stated that I respect his life choices. I cast about to try to find topics for mutual discussion.

I used to think it was just how he interacted with the world, but now I have a direct manager who does the exact same thing.

No minimal chit chat to smooth the way into business topics. In our 1-1s, he just waits for me to bring up topics. I'm fully remote, used to be in office, but he offers nothing that might let me know what is going on in the office that might help me interact with others or, you know, do my job. Entirely passive. Oh so helpful if I have a specific question, but nothing else. Sure, this is a business setting, but still. A tiny amount of "good morning," "how are things going," can do a lot of heavy lifting in keeping relationships cordial.

I really don't understand this dynamic. Is there something wrong with me? I'm not a conversation hog, I'm good at reflective listening.

We are all adults, living our separate lives. I've figured out how to usefully communicate with them. Visiting, however, is a challenge.

They don't want to do anything.

The obvious answer is to just find stuff I want to do in their area and have them tag along, or not.

That's its own challenge. I don't particularly care for where they live. The point of visiting is to, you know, *be* with them. In addition, they are like a Greek chorus, not actually participating, but commenting, and apart from events.

So if I suggest something, they would do it, but I would never know if the activity was anything they would want to do. They display no enthusiasm, and I am challenged to ferret out their preferences.

Why go visit, then?

I don't, usually. We live far apart. One of them has a chronic illness, so I want to check in on them in person. And bring some stuff that belonged to our parents that would not ship well.

Before you tell me the chronic illness is the issue, know that they have always exhibited the same tendencies. In fact, I've had more substantive interactions after the chronic illness than before.

I should keep the visit much shorter. But traveling to where they live is an all day affair. I have a hard time justifying turning around and traveling home after a couple of days. Maybe that's the answer, though.

Not much to work with here. Looking forward to your thoughts.

Can we talk about Greer and Harold's ties?

While Greer is going all fan-boy philosophy and Harold listens, it was a great opportunity to look at how they are dressed. I always enjoy the sartorial choices. This time I was fixated on their ties.

Greer's is bold diagonal stripes. A pattern with obvious predictability, matching his straightforward thinking about Samaritan. Harold wears a subtle, deeply colored paisley, signaling his ability to consider the complexity of the situation created, first, by the presence of The Machine and now, the second AI.

Just an appreciation post for the attention to detail in this series.

Disclaimer: first time watcher, love the show, in the middle of season 3, just finished #16, RAM.

I am aware this sub is populated by Root fans. Respect to your opinion. However, I shall continue to yell at the screen every time she turns up.

Nothing about her engenders trust and it drives me crazy. As soon as she gets her (insert spoiler), she's right back to reveling in her superiority/God complex, dropping bon mots of insider information delivered with the smug, pitying attitude that irritates me so much.

Harold's right about her hubris.

But then, there is no story or subsequent seasons if Root could actually bring herself to work effectively instead of reactively with Harold's team. She blames Harold, but I find her at fault.

GA: what is the reasoning behind a joint revocable trust becoming irrevocable when the first spouse dies?

From my layman's perspective, it feels like an unnecessary administrative step that creates a headache and additional cost to the surviving spouse, particularly as the sole beneficiary after the second spouse dies will be an SNT.

I finally worked up the gumption to ask why my schedule kept getting screwed even though I blocked off the time appropriately.

Turns out I should always be using the time off feature instead of the availability feature.

Jeez, why didn't anyone tell me this was the problem after months of scheduling mix ups?