u/madtwatr

A long awaited divorce is now taking place due to costs & complications — Ex wife is no longer with boyfriend, she’s engaged for a second time and bought another home with current fiance. There’s possibly two houses she bought while we were married. I don’t own any homes. I know one of them has her name on the deed.

A lawyer is definitely involved — but should these homes be look into or looked over? I don’t know the men these houses were bought with and I’m 80% sure they were unaware of buying a home with a married woman. Would the men have to buy me (or us) out of the homes?

Has anyone lived in these recently or currently? Currently looking at condos to rent in this neighborhood and they seem to be the only reasonably priced so far compared to other condos I seen for the same price but the reviews were just god awful. My fiance & I had friends years ago (were talking over a decade ago) who lived in the community and back then it was awful — we know new management has taken over in the last couple years so we’re curious before we go from one crappy apartment to another.

Our gross total yearly combined is $130k-$140k probably closer to $150k after overtime & holiday pay or if we worked 40hr weeks (currently doing 30 each — meaning we only need 30hrs with our employer to be full time w/ benefits, but can work 40hrs if we want. We make enough working under 40), but we’re going to use the lower end which will be $130k. Our household expenses are low. I think our household expenses are roughly $1000 for utilities, food, pet supplies and entertainment. We need to stay put for at least 6 years. The townhome is beautiful. 3/2 with a large patio, interesting architecture for the living space, a skylight window above the staircase and garage + paved driveway. Community has a pool. We were currently looking at a 3/2 condo in a rental community, one for $2300 (with mold, yay) and another 2600, both in a real crappy community (reviews were awful). The townhome is just $150 more per month. It’s also closer to the highway and cuts our commute by 30 minutes during rush hour. It currently takes us anywhere between 45-1.5hrs for our commute.

I have no children (yet) and my fiance has one child who is 15. We are upgrading to a larger apartment 1bedroom to 3 bedroom. It will be somewhere between $2300-$2600, compared to the $1550 we’re paying currently. We currently split everything 50/50 but our incomes are vastly different. I make 3x more than him and obviously I want the larger, nicer unit — a big part of this is because we now have his kid 50/50 and we outgrew the 1/1 way too quickly. We’re planning to have a child together after he finishes his degree, which should be in the next 3 years. I want to enjoy the temporary third bedroom as a hobby space because this last year I’ve been able miserable not having a space of mine own — I went from renting by myself to moving into his unit, then he went from a 30/70 to a 50/50 custody. I also absolutely hate the community and the area it’s in — he would probably be satisfied with a 2/2 for $1800-$1900, but I think longer term it’s beneficial to have the third room so we do not have to up and move around again when we need more space. We’re hoping to stay put long enough while he works on his degree and just save money.

I don’t do anything extra for his child. He’s in high school so he’s pretty self sufficient, rarely ever home but eats ALOT when he is. He will start working next year when he turns 16 — both parents want him to work at that point. We got a costco card that brought our bill down from $600 to $400/monthly. After utilities, groceries, pet food & supplies and any subscriptions for entertainment. We come out to around $1000/mo in this section of household expenses.

I suggested maybe I’d pay rent and he “tosses” me $1000 each month — he’d pay all utilities, groceries, pet care & entertainment subscriptions. This money situation wasn’t always like this. It was reversed at one point while living separately, life happened, he had lots of medical problems being in & out ER over the years — two major surgeries in the last year. Eventually had to settle with something less stressful but stable and flexible with child care & his degree & all his doctor’s appointments and that came with a massive pay cut. Financial aid each semester helps a bit but that ends up being saved for emergencies. I’m pretty sure there is two years left of his degree so this situation is temporary — assuming we have no future medical problems (which is highly unlikely to happen again)

Regardless of this, I don’t pay for any expenses for the child — like clothes, activities, doctor’s appointments, or his “going out with friends” money. Anything we do involving his child, he pays. Him & mom split all expenses for him 50/50.

Despite potentially pulling $2600 of rent, I can still put money aside for retirement & emergency savings along with some fun money for us — while paying my own personal expenses & debt. Fiance is stressed about the increase in housing costs — but rest assured our combined income qualifies us afford it comfortably. We’ve been struggling with the “our money” concept.

Our lease ends Aug 31st. Last month is already paid so I’m not too worried of cost here. We’re viewing a condo soon that should be ready by end of July. We’re debating if we should prorate the second to last week of August and spend the those 9 days transitioning into new apartment or (if necessary) start the new lease Aug 1st and spend a whole month moving in & cleaning up the current apartment without having to take time off work. This will be our 3-4th move in the last 6 years and we don’t want to stress another move with 2-3 days — unfortunately we thought we’d stay in our current place much longer but we need more space for our kid & baby planning.

The owner wants just 1st month & security which is super convenient for us despite it being $100 over our budget for total rent. I figured that “last” month that would be paid elsewhere regardless so can be “prorated” over two years vs me paying an extra $2600 upfront. So regardless of whether or not I pay $100 less or $100 more, it will balance the over two years.

Need an estimate. My 1/1 hovers around $230-$250 and we don’t put the AC below 70!! AC unit is old and landlord won’t change it until it completely craps out. I know this is bad since my father pays the same for a 4 bedroom house. We’re moving into a 3/2 so looking to see what costs might look like.

Edit: stop giving me suggestions, we’re literally leaving in 2 months into different communities, just wanted to have an idea of the costs to consider budgets.

My fiance & I have recently decided we needed more space. We currently rent a 1/1 for $1550 — but it has LOTS of issues (rodents, roaches, mold) A nicer unit with more space will easily run us $2100+. The space has become too small for him, myself & my teenage stepson (his son). This wasn’t an issue a year ago, but we currently have about 60/70% of custody as of the last 6 months. I don’t mind this, we are currently child planning for a second to have in the next 5 years so we will be staying put for the next 5-7 years.

I’ve been trying to get my fiance on board with renting in a nice community with a pool, gym, recreational areas etc. We been renting crappy apartments for the last five years and I’m absolutely over it. We aren’t ready to buy so it is out of the question. He wanted to move out of state, I want to stay in South FL due to my income ($80-$100k/year). I want to finish paying off my debts and want to wait for his son to turn 18 (just three more years). My fiance makes $30-$40k and currently in school for pre-law, so this number will not change & he has financial support from family while in school — if an absolutely emergency were to arise.

I found a 3/2 bedroom apartment for $2560. We pull in $120-$140k combined so we absolutely qualify for it with the 3x rent rule. I wanted to split it 70/30. He’d do about $800-$900 & I’d do the difference.

Prior to living together, I rented a 1/1+ den for $1550, My den was my portrait studio & hobby room and I miss it so much so I want that extra space back and I’m willing to pay for it. Having the extra room can bring in an extra $500-$1000/month or more so it will pay itself off. My mom doesn’t find it to be a smart idea to split based on income. She and her husband split 50/50 but he makes twice her income — I don’t understand it. My idea is if we split proportionate to income, it gives him the ability to save & pay for what his son needs, I can still afford to save and pay debts and I can have my fun little space for a few years.

Is this really a bad idea? I think it’s a brilliant idea but it was also hard to get my fiance on board to split according to income as well — we’ve splitting 50/50 for the last year and it didn’t seem fair but he thought it was fair despite the differences in income.

Is there good money to be made in Jacksonville? Specifically bartending? Will it be rough? Or is money stable since it’s more “small town” feel in large city.

From South Florida, with anger, who needs OUT!! But making too much to afford the risk of a pay cut by leaving — those who get it, get it.

Delete or downvote if not allowed.

Is Atlanta actually much worse? Or did I just have a good morning?

I currently drive 30min-1hr (sometimes 1.5hrs) to get to work. This drive an easy exceed 2-3 hours depending on car accidents or events: Coral Springs to Fort Lauderdale beach. GPS says 22-25miles depending on route bc for obvious reasons we can’t cut thru diagonally! In reality it’s probably 13 miles. This trade off is unfortunate income vs COL living further from main city areas.

When I drove thru Atlanta at 9am on a monday from buckhead back to FLL. I didn’t find it to be that much worse than FLL. I want to say it probably took us 30min-45min to get from Buckhead, thru Atlanta and onto the 75.

I’ve been picking my housing options with the idea of possibly working midtown: expanding range to 20 miles; with assuming a 45-1hr commute.

I read a lot about a reverse commute? More info please. I assume this is like going to work at 4pm-late night like hospitality folk.

I know there’s plenty of posts about moving to GA, but need some insight from Floridians or Georgians and those who work in major hotel chains/hospitality (or tattoo artists) I’m trying to compare COL with a guess-estimate of a salary. From what I’m seeing so far with Zillow & realtor, it seems as though rent is about similar, maybe slightly less if I wanted to be in the city. I would say Atlanta & surrounding areas (ex; Irondale, Fairburn, Duluth, Marietta) are roughly Fort Lauderdale in 2020.

Before we discuss traffic, walkability, infrastructure, etc — I’m already car dependent. I drive for 30min to 1hr+ (I say plus bc for special events it’s taken me 3 hours) for a job that’s 20-25 miles away via highway. Before we discuss weather — not interested, FL is hotter than hell, anything is better.

Current minimum wage in Florida is $15/hr. Now I make $14.56 + tips as a bartender, but the majority is $10/$11 + tips. Tip wage here is $10/hr. I haven’t found much info on service industry income in the Atlanta area except for the few employees I’ve talked to — but I know tipped employees are generally $2.15-$5; in large hotel chains, we’re looking closer to $8-$10 (not bad considering most hotels stick to this in FL as well, I just happened to hit a jackpot at my current property) I’ve visited in January and in June the bars & restaurants seemed lively no matter what, whereas in FL it’s a goddamn ghost town after Memorial Day weekend. My minimum to afford rent & bills is $100/day or $50k/year.

My one bedroom apartment in a building with mice, roaches & an iguana infestation goes for $1550!!! Yes you read that correctly and I’m well outside the greater Fort Lauderdale area. My previous unit in the FLL intercostal (originally $1900, but negotiated down to $1550) had termites and American roaches so that was just fantastic. But LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION, I guess. I cannot justify paying $2000 for a one bedroom down here even though we can afford it. That’s just absurd. Our market is a hot mess and if u can find a two bedroom at $2000, there’s probably something wrong with it.

My fiance is a tattoo artist, living in Arkansas, he made lots of money to the COL, in FL? Nah, same income or less and high COL, plus over saturation of Tattoo shops & artists.

Between service industry folk & artists. How well are ya’ll doing? ESPECIALLY if you came from the SoFlo area.

Edit: to add; I do photography as well & based on job searching it seems Atlanta has more of a market for artists & photographers. — We also both have background in management (him sales, myself F&B) seems as most management jobs sit around $50k starting

May not be correct flair idk.

Husband and I are looking at GA to move next year. Currently we’re in SoFlo and season is January-May. June until just about Christmas time is practically a ghost town. Money goes from $600/day to maybe $150/day if you’re lucky (these last two weeks has been exceptionally bad barely hitting $100)

Not concerned on income as COL is roughly the same in the Atlanta area, but more when season for job hunting in service industry. We’ll be taking whatever we can find initially moving, since we’ll be moving around Aug/Sept. A server I talked to explained it’s more like March-Christmas time. Which to me is just incredible (I would love a slow Jan/February).

On a another note, do ya’ll get a spring break crowd? 5 years on FLL beach, 1 year bartending and I’m sick of them LOL.

I’m in the very early stages of wedding planning. I fell in love with several chapels in Arkansas but we don’t live in Arkansas nor do we want to spend $3k on a chapel for an hour or two.

I found a chapel on a University of Florida campus that looks similar to the ones in Arkansas. Given, we have no ties to this University or the city overall, is this weird?? It was under $1k for two hours, which is enough time for arrivals, a 30 minute ceremony, short mingling and photos ops. It can accommodate my guest count as well.

I can’t help to think it might be odd to everyone else?
Trying to cut costs on reception, I started looking into private dining options for our guests, then my fiance and I can go out with friends to a bar later on for an “after party”. Looking at private dining options near the chapel, I can’t help but notice most of the restaurants are on the college campus or just HUGE on the Gators. We’re from way down south (Go Canes, I guess lol) 🤣 jokes aside, we’re trying to avoid Gator themed restaurants and restaurants on campus. I fear it will be a pain to have guests drive over to Ocala to escape college town. It’s roughly 45 minutes. But I particularly rather not be in a college town for dinner & drinks.

*I ditched the idea of having my wedding in South Florida due to costs of the vendors

Those who done ceremonies and receptions in two separate places, whats the furthest you’d consider?

My fiance (34) & I (28) got engaged just last year shortly after I moved in. He had a son but mom had primary custody — we rent a 1/1 & mom lives with parents. Things have changed in the last 6 months. We now have primary custody due to his behavior problems at his mother’s. His son just turned 15. This is just in short.

He’s always very angry with his mother it seems, mean to his sister as well (not my fiancé’s daughter). Misbehaving in school on a regular basis — we probably get calls daily about his behavior. Poor grades. Bad attitude. Sneaking out. Skipping class. Hiding weed carts. Disobeying & disrespecting mom. This morning mom & SS called us at 6AM because SS snuck out the night before— mom found a safe box in his bedroom and was suspicious about his behavior considering he was sneaking out. They got into a huge fight that nearly led our kid wanting to smash the windows to either his mom’s bedroom or her car to access this safe— i don’t even understand how it escalated to that point and it just sounds so unlike him to be aggressive. A teen Attitude is fine, but aggression? The safe has a lighter, a weed vape & some cash.

My fiance has been beyond stressed about him whereas I feel totally disconnected from the entire situation — though I feel stressed for him. He feels it’s all on him and I’m not doing enough. I don’t have any legality to make any decisions — he technically doesn’t either (no parental order in place bc mom doesn’t even have custody, her parents do). I feel like I have to go thru my fiance or his mom to make any decision. Something as silly as him wanting to go to the park with friends, I have to make sure it’s fine with both parents before I drop him off — it’s like being a parent by proxy. I’m not on any paperwork for school or doctors or anything of the sort. But since I make more than him & mom combined I pick up financially — mostly bc my fiance was in and out the ER for the last two years & had two major surgeries. His parents actually helped us a ton with finances. He just got back to work this past March. It’s been a stressful year but it’s getting easier. But I do help; school drop offs & pick up. Making dinner or breakfast, laundry every week, cleaning the bathroom & apartment weekly as well. I’m exhausted — but since I’m not “authoritative” enough it’s just not enough.

I’ve seen how my fiance and mom react to their kids behavior. They can and have reacted by yelling — i don’t not and cannot react that way if he is disrespectful or disobedient. Unfortunately I do not have the energy to yell at my kid, let alone one that isn’t biologically mine. I want him to get comfortable with me to even just talk about things going on. He will tell me things and say “don’t tell Dad”, it will be something silly like selling snacks at school or stuff from Temu to he can make some money. I caught him sneak back in the house one night and he decided to show me a video of his walk around the neighborhood. In our apartment we have a rule that if he wants to go for a walk or be outside after dark; go thru the front door, no sneaky bullshit. We have Ring cameras & can see everything. I left it alone, reminded him to be careful & we went to bed. Next morning, He told his dad before I said anything about it, dad was frustrated I didn’t say anything to him despite having this rule we made. Aside from that, I finally got my first bout of attitude this past Friday over switching his iphone over to a tracphone for school hours (the phone is a whole different issue) I let him have the attitude, I figured he was just being a moody teen upset about his phone!

I’m new to the wedding/elopement world of photography and business in general. I have a 2TB hard drive and so far have exceeded up to 1.6TB. This is just a mix of one wedding, some engagement sessions, miscellaneous portrait sessions and personal work.

I know I will need to buy another hard drive (and I’ll probably invest in a larger one this time) but at what point do you decide you no longer need the RAW images after finalizing a gallery?

On another note, when it comes to multiple hard drives and Lightroom: do you backup the catalog to old previous drive and start a fresh catalog with the new one hard drive? Catalogs are so confusing for me.

I don’t think I need 3 SLRs, so deciding which to sell and can’t decide.

Pentax k1000 w/ 50mm
Pentax zx-m w/ a small zoom
Nikon F w/ 50mm and long zoom (film counter doesn’t work nor does light meter)

I had an iPad longgggggg ago, I think the first mini. Since 2017-18, I had a Macbook Pro 2017 model, intel5 I believe. The screen crapped out, I bought a desktop Mac 24 M1 and LOVE IT. It actually runs my Adobe apps so smoothly even with 8gb of ram. The MacBook still runs & honestly not super slow, but slower and the battery dies very fast — so I thought why not just replace the battery? My husband has a MacBook 2019 model that runs significantly better than my MacBook 2017 — I think his is 16gb of ram. He used an iPad Pro for digital art for years but that has significantly slowed down & we can’t have multiple iclouds on the iPad as we can with desktop and macbook.

I can’t justify the prices of buying a new MacBook pro when I do the majority of my work on my desktop anyways (and prefer it, I love how large the screen is). My desktop is strictly work, whether it’s my husband’s schooling or my photography or my stepson’s school. I realized I only reach for my MacBook for crafting projects, light editing, organizing galleries, travel research or any research for that matter. Leans more into personal use. As sweet as the Neo sounds — I just don’t think it’s for me as eventually I think the 8gb will eventually catch up to me (as it’s looking like with the current models coming out).

I feel like the desktop will last me just as long as my MacBook did if not longer — Adobe & Word are the only two programs we have downloaded and use often on it.

I’ve been photographing since high school and started taking it more seriously in the last year, I’m ten years out of high school, so roughly 10-15 years of experience.

Right now I’m hovering at $200 for 30min as long as it’s within a 30 minute drive. $400 for a full hour - more leeway for traveling an hour out.

I’ve somehow dabbled into engagements, proposals & “non-traditional” weddings. I say non traditional bc my last wedding shot, the bride skipped out on all the traditional wedding customs. I’m doing formals for a short & sweet courthouse wedding this friday & my friend’s wedding in Oct is also non-traditional, which she wants me to photograph as well.

I probably deliver about 10-15 images for a 30 minute session, 30-40 for a full hour.

I linked my portfolio!