u/melan111e

messages appreciated 🎉

i told myself i would go into college as the smallest version of myself, and that this summer my only focus would be to lose as much weight as possible. to get my sick body back during a time that i will actually thrive socially, when i rush a sorority, hopefully make friends and get a boyfriend for the first time in a long time. i’ve felt so uncomfortable in my body since i’ve recovered, ive kind of been in a quasi-recovery until this summer, i started restricting. but my progress and restriction is working so slowly, i feel like i am barely getting smaller in time for when college starts come september. why do i feel the need to be small in order to have a fun, social life? does anyone relate or have any advice? i cant go into college without losing weight.

i told myself i would go into college as the smallest version of myself, and that this summer my only focus would be to lose as much weight as possible. to get my sick body back during a time that i will actually thrive socially, when i rush a sorority, hopefully make friends and get a boyfriend for the first time in a long time. i’ve felt so uncomfortable in my body since i’ve recovered, ive kind of been in a quasi-recovery until this summer, i started restricting. but my progress and restriction is working so slowly, i feel like i am barely getting smaller in time for when college starts come september. why do i feel the need to be small in order to have a fun, social life? does anyone relate or have any advice? i cant go into college without losing weight.

i told myself i would go into college as the smallest version of myself, and that this summer my only focus would be to lose as much weight as possible. to get my sick body back during a time that i will actually thrive socially, when i rush a sorority, hopefully make friends and get a boyfriend for the first time in a long time. i’ve felt so uncomfortable in my body since i’ve recovered, ive kind of been in a quasi-recovery until this summer, i started restricting. but my progress and restriction is working so slowly, i feel like i am barely getting smaller in time for when college starts come september. why do i feel the need to be small in order to have a fun, social life? does anyone relate or have any advice? i cant go into college without losing weight.

in the beginning of 2024 i went all-in on recovery from anorexia nervosa. after a couple months of that went by, i’ve mainly been in a quasi-recovery state for 2 years until now. in that time, i’ve discovered the gym and i feel like i’ve gotten to a point where i know to prioritize my health and nutrition for muscle growth, except i over exercise and spend 5+ hours daily at the gym. i think bulking and cutting has became a new way to cater my all-or-nothing mindset that came along with my eating disorder. i tell myself im recovered, and honestly the gym doesn’t really come to me as a form of punishment but more so ive just gained a deep passion surrounding lifting and bodybuilding. now yes, i understand this is very possibly my anorexia lingering in a different lens. i recently began cutting after a really long bulk and it’s the same kind of restriction from my ed back. but i feel too far along in my lifting journey to ever stop. i dont really know what to do, and i know refraining from lifting is going to be very challenging for me to hear. i am constantly focused on my appearance and my fears stem from being treated awfully and experiencing loneliness at times in my life where i felt unattractive or not at my ideal weight. any advice helps, thanks.

in the beginning of 2024 i went all-in on recovery from anorexia nervosa. after a couple months of that went by, i’ve mainly been in a quasi-recovery state for 2 years until now. in that time, i’ve discovered the gym and i feel like i’ve gotten to a point where i know to prioritize my health and nutrition for muscle growth, except i over exercise and spend 5+ hours daily at the gym. i think bulking and cutting has became a new way to cater my all-or-nothing mindset that came along with my eating disorder. i tell myself im recovered, and honestly the gym doesn’t really come to me as a form of punishment but more so ive just gained a deep passion surrounding lifting and bodybuilding. now yes, i understand this is very possibly my anorexia lingering in a different lens. i recently began cutting after a really long bulk and it’s the same kind of restriction from my ed back. but i feel too far along in my lifting journey to ever stop. i dont really know what to do, and i know refraining from lifting is going to be very challenging for me to hear. i am constantly focused on my appearance and my fears stem from being treated awfully and experiencing loneliness at times in my life where i felt unattractive or not at my ideal weight. any advice helps, thanks.

in the beginning of 2024 i went all-in on recovery from anorexia nervosa. after a couple months of that went by, i’ve mainly been in a quasi-recovery state for 2 years until now. in that time, i’ve discovered the gym and i feel like i’ve gotten to a point where i know to prioritize my health and nutrition for muscle growth, except i over exercise and spend 5+ hours daily at the gym. i think bulking and cutting has became a new way to cater my all-or-nothing mindset that came along with my eating disorder. i tell myself im recovered, and honestly the gym doesn’t really come to me as a form of punishment but more so ive just gained a deep passion surrounding lifting and bodybuilding. now yes, i understand this is very possibly my anorexia lingering in a different lens. i recently began cutting after a really long bulk and it’s the same kind of restriction from my ed back. but i feel too far along in my lifting journey to ever stop. i dont really know what to do, and i know refraining from lifting is going to be very challenging for me to hear. i am constantly focused on my appearance and my fears stem from being treated awfully and experiencing loneliness at times in my life where i felt unattractive or not at my ideal weight. any advice helps, thanks.

i’m tracking my weight loss and i’ve only been weighing myself on the scale first thing when i wake up after i pee, before i’ve consumed water or food. i just feel like this is a big range so far? or is this normal??

f18 5’4

june 15 : 141
june 16: 140.2
june 17: 136.8
june 18: 136.3
june 19: 135.5
june 20: 136.4
june 21: 138

it’s hard for me to truly figure out whether i’m hungry or not since my eating disorder tanked my hunger and thirst cues. i can go days without drinking just because i forget and don’t feel thirsty, and i especially confuse myself whenever i am around food. no hunger OR fullness cues. i’m not in the depths of my eating disorder anymore, but i cannot say i am fully recovered either. but i just wanted to know if anyone else struggles with this and if anyone has any advice in any way! thank you i hope everyone is doing lovely <3

it’s hard for me to truly figure out whether i’m hungry or not since my eating disorder tanked my hunger and thirst cues. i can go days without drinking just because i forget and don’t feel thirsty, and i especially confuse myself whenever i am around food. no hunger OR fullness cues. i’m not in the depths of my eating disorder anymore, but i cannot say i am fully recovered either. but i just wanted to know if anyone else struggles with this and if anyone has any advice in any way! thank you i hope everyone is doing lovely <3

it’s hard for me to truly figure out whether i’m hungry or not since my eating disorder tanked my hunger and thirst cues. i can go days without drinking just because i forget and don’t feel thirsty, and i especially confuse myself whenever i am around food. no hunger OR fullness cues. i’m not in the depths of my eating disorder anymore, but i cannot say i am fully recovered either. but i just wanted to know if anyone else struggles with this and if anyone has any advice in any way! thank you i hope everyone is doing lovely <3

it’s hard for me to truly figure out whether i’m hungry or not since my eating disorder tanked my hunger and thirst cues. i can go days without drinking just because i forget and don’t feel thirsty, and i especially confuse myself whenever i am around food. no hunger OR fullness cues. i’m not in the depths of my eating disorder anymore, but i cannot say i am fully recovered either. but i just wanted to know if anyone else struggles with this and if anyone has any advice in any way! thank you i hope everyone is doing lovely <3

sorry i don’t really know much! so i was asking if or when the s’mores will be returning because ive heard mentions about it! also, what part of the drink is marshmallow flavored? like is it marshmallow syrup that i can add to other drinks? or is it just the whipped cream? thank you!!!

there’s a vanilla flavor at the place near where i work and i’ve been thinking about it. i keep telling myself im not even hungry for it, but i have no hunger or thirst cues so i don’t really know. my mind has pressured myself into not consuming desserts or sweet food. i’m going to the gym after my shift. i know it’ll help me with energy but i just don’t want the guilt that comes along with it, is it okay for me to eat it?