u/sarsodasaag

see both are hard no doubt but I was preparing for ca but I cant sit at home and study and that is causing failure , I know how to drive I will get perfect in it and buy a car for taxi , I already have a bike and I dont have much burden on me financially and slowly increase the business as I live in gurgaon and just an hour away from airport so its more beneficial .

or

I can complete my bcom from distance while completing a exporting course and joining a company later on and gaining experience and strting my own exporting business .
or
you may recommend me something that I can work hard on and achieve or maybe I might complete CMA as its although not easy but comparably it is so maybe I give a shot at it
or
just keep trying hard in CA
or
move to another country which I dont know how I will tell my parents about that because it required money plus my elder brother is already abroad so they dont want their another son to be abroad too

pursuing bcom and in future I want to export goods for some earning how shall I commence from now on to have a good income by 30s ig

I am goind through something I am 21 no degree yet enrolling for Bcom and maybe I will do CMA but I think I need to go to career counselling once . I feel so stuck and depressed and I want to off myself which I wont do but I want to . when my dad was leaving home I was reading a book and he was so angry at me saying to apply anywhere become a constable , and when my mom returned home I accidentally spilt a little bit of milk which made her angry and out of anger she said ki she doesnt know what I will do in life , I am just a lazy twat sitting at home , how will I even do something in life .

they are both angry on me but I have been through alot when I turned 20 and after that I just lost interest in the degree I was pursuing and was not able to study and they still even afte so many attempts they just want me to do that degree only , I have already lost my college life . I am a miserable waste of resources who sits and shits and smokes . I dont want to live like that but I dont see any path and this loop is making me crash out . it feels like I have been falling into an abyss and I see no light on either side I cant return to my old self neither can I be what I want to be . its not like I am incapable , i just dont know anything . I feel so ashamed of myself now . I dont want to lose remaining years of my life , I will only get my 20s one . I hate the new kanye the bad mood kanye the always rude kanye I miss the old kanye . I MISS THE OLD ME .

I am not a miserablbe lazy mf I need to work and I want to do stuff I love I dont even have money I dont even ask for that home I cant even eat at home although they never say anything to me still , i feel wrong sitting with relatives , sitting with my cousins , like I am not supposed to be here

Earlier when I used to be 15 I had a penny board as it was easier to ride on our roads . Can't do anything tricks on them and I always wanted to buy a skateboard but knew it will be of no use should I buy one , ik some spots to ride but it will be more fun if there was a place or people from gurgaon wh I can meet. In parks

I am starting to do CA and I might become one hopefully by 28 that is a 7year gap of struggles and sacrifices

My friend who is 20 and is giving CS has started a paid internship in a distance schooling firm

When he will be 27 and I will be 28 who will have a better ROI and a better future and will it be worth the sacrifices , well he in job life is also sacrificing but still their is money and time to learn and grow and enjoy .

I am not asking advice on what I should do but , which option do you guys think is a better one

my ex broke with me a year ago saying she is happier when not with me and I understood it let her go and it all marinated we never talked now because my Id was public she also made a public id and I saw her already having a new boyfriend and it is so sad as she told me about how much she loves me and now I cant digest the fact that she loves someone else the same and a realtionship does not happen in a month she has gone to college for a year even if she was commited after 6months she might have started talking to him before that and now I feel like the love for me was fake I let go of every good friend I had as she was jealous and when I was jealous she blamed it on me , I used to believe she is a very nice woman , now that I look back I feel like she wasnt all that and that is the reason I even moved on I dont love her now but I often feel like there is an invisible rivalry between her by my side only that I should show off more about having a girl even tho I dont get the concept of it why should it even bother her , I have always been getting attention from girls and it is not something new neither I wanna play with any girl they are angels , but she even as a female never got attention in school by guys it might be new to her in college , I wasnt her first love anyways , I was idk which one I should not think about it anyways but it is sucking my energy for some reason I dont wanna block her as it might be seen as I havent moved on when I want to block her for my mental peace I hate how she even looks now I used to look at her with so much love in my heart she used to look like an angel to me

You know that phrase that you are desperate for it only because your future version has it😭😭😭. And that has stuck to me I was desperate for wtv I got it while others things Idts now I am getting desperate for a partner for some reason let's see if I get one it will be true .